The Mako Special
by Palo112
Summary: AU Cloti. Long running story. Set in a world a little closer to our own. Rated T for language, may go up in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay here it goes. I've been working on this one for a while now. It's a Alternate Universe thing so there will be some story line changes from the actual game. It's Cloti because let's face it I am totally addicted. Mostly romance, with a little humor, and a dash of angst.**

Chapter 1

It started with a phone call. I was on a delivery to a giant dirty warehouse on the far side of town. I had just grabbed a large heavy box when my phone rang. It took some maneuvering but I managed to balance the box in one hand and fish out my phone with the other.

"Cloud, man where have you been?"

"Hey Zack." I say wedging the phone between my shoulder and my ear and shifting the box back to both hands.

"Dude I haven't heard from you in a month." He is almost yelling at me.

"I've been busy." I sigh; he always calls at the worst times.

"Yeah busy, right." He snorts.

"Working," I answer blandly.

"Man there's more to life than working. You need to get out once in a while you know."

"I don't have time."

"Really," Sarcasm practically drips off his voice. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Uh..." The truth is I don't have any plans. "I've got it off actually."

"Great, come out with me. I just heard about this awesome new club."

"I hate clubs."

"Come on, I guarantee you'll have fun."

I sigh and shift the heavy box in my arms. "You always say that and then you know what happens?"

"What?" He actually has no clue.

"You pick up on some cute girl and ditch me."

"What can I say, the ladies demand my attention." He's so full of himself.

"Whatever."

"Just come out tonight." I know he won't leave me alone until I say yes. "I'll find you a chick too."

I don't answer for a minute. Its true Zack can get a date just about anywhere and I haven't had a date in a little over six months so maybe... "Fine." I finally answer.

"Great, when do you get off?"

"Seven."

"Okay I'll pick you up at eight thirty… and wear some real clothes. You'll never get a chick in your regular stuff."

"Later," I say and hang up the phone juggling the box again. My arms are now almost numb from holding the box. Why the hell is someone putting something this heavy through the parcel post. I groan and knock on the door.

"Keep your shorts on I'm coming." A rough voice calls from inside. The door opens a crack and a sharp blue eye peers out at me. "What da ya want?" The man demands.

I look down at the paperwork. "Delivery for a Mr. Highwind."

"Bout fucking time." He throws the door open and snatches the box from my hands. "Been waiting for this all week." The door slams in my face.

I sigh and knock on the door again. I don't know why everyone has to be difficult.

It creaks open a fraction of an inch. "What?" He snaps.

"I need a signature from you, sir." I hold out the delivery slip and a pen

He glares at me for a moment then grabs the paper and pen and scribbles something. Then he shoves it back in my face. I examine it for a minute, trying to ignore his glare.

"Could you verify your first name for me sir?"

"Cid. Cid Highwind." He snaps. "Now get outta here, I'm busy." Then once again, the door is slammed in my face. What did I do wrong this time? I take a second to write the man's name in under his signature and head back to my bike.

A good half the people I deliver to react about the same way the man did. He was a little over the top but people are almost never polite to a delivery boy. It can't help that I don't look presentable either. My route takes me farther out than most so I usually ride my motorcycle. I love it but it means I make deliveries dirty and disheveled. The worst is when it rains. I don't get much protection on a bike and driving through the rain at fifty miles an hour stings like crazy.

I rev the engine on my bike and head for my next delivery. I don't know why I let Zack talk me into these things. I don't do well with social stuff; I hate people for the most part. Every month or so he calls me up and talks me into going out to a bar or a club with him. I never have fun. It goes just as I told him. He drags me out then takes off with some girl and leaves me behind. Then a month later when I've forgotten just how bad the experience was he does it again. Zack's the kind of guy girls just fawn over.

It's not like I don't like the guy. Hell he's probably my best friend. We met in the military. He was a couple years older than I was and I guess he felt like I was his little brother or something because he taught me everything about fighting I know. We went through some hairy shit together and he saved my butt too many times to count but he can be a real dip-shit sometimes.

I finish my deliveries for the day and finally go home. I have this little one room apartment in the slums. It's not great but it serves my needs. It's cheap and has a garage. Most of the money I earn goes into my bike really. It's my prized possession. It was my dad's before he died. That's probably why I ride it instead of getting a car. A car would be easier with my job but I like my bike.

I eat a quick meal and take a shower before Zack shows up but I don't dress up. I almost always dress the same and contrary to his belief my clothes are real. They may not be fancy but I like them. I have a closet full of sleeveless turtle-neck shirts and cargo pants. All of them in dark colors. Tonight it's dark blue for the top and black for the pants. I have no need of anything else really. It's comfortable and easy. That's all I ask for. I don't need to stand out; my hair already does that for me. It's bright almost pure blond and sticks up in spikes without my help. I couldn't get it to lie down if I wanted it to.

Also people have a tendency to avoid me when they see the green Mako ring in my blue eyes. It's the stigma of all soldiers. The effects of the bloody Mako treatment. Zack manages to catch girls with it and heroic war stories but for me it generally scares them off.

I hear a horn honking just as I finish tying my boots. I don't own anything but biking boots. Once again I don't need to. I grab my leather jacket and make sure the door is locked.

Zack just shakes his head at me when I get into his car. He's dressed to kill. He always is. A plain black short sleeve button up shirt and slacks. I know the girls will just flock to him.

"I thought I told you to wear real clothes." He grins at me and shifts the car into drive.

I just shrug. He can make me come out but he can't make me like it.

"This club is supposed to be really hot. I can't believe it's been around for a year and I haven't heard of it before."

"What is it?" I ask but I'm not really listening to him.

"I dunno Seven's or something. The girl I went home with last night told me about it. Supposed to be some live band there tonight." He smirks.

Great, so now I get to be bored and listen to some really crappy band too. How utterly thrilling. He keeps chattering at me but I tune it out. He's probably going to revert to talking about his conquests again. The last thing I need to hear is how much 'tail' he's getting.

So maybe I complain about it when he drags me out but each time he asks I come anyway. I guess it's because I have hope. I always hope that I'll meet some girl to hit it off with. Of course last time that happened it was Jessie. That was a disaster. I've gotten better about the whole war scars thing but she just couldn't deal with it.

The thing is I'm lonely. I don't make friends easy. I have three counting Zack. There are people at the delivery service that I've been working with for a year that I still can't really talk to. I'm just not social and most people get to freaked out by my eyes to approach me. The ones that don't get freaked out want to hear war stories and I am never willing to talk about the war.

Zack pulls up to the club. I don't even know where we are. Usually I would have paid exact attention to where we were going. One of those habits you develop when people shoot at you every day. It's only with Zack I can drop those habits. He's the only person I feel I can trust. This is probably the reason I let him drag me out like this.

"Cloud," Zack waves a hand in front of my face. "Anyone there."

I shake myself. It's too easy to let myself slip into memories. "Yeah." I answer him and get out of the car.

It's utter chaos inside. It would be a pretty nice place if it weren't for all the people. The walls are painted black and backlit with blinding white lights. There are a couple of booths but it's mostly dance floor. A blue lit bar extends across the back wall. The music is loud; I can feel the rumble of the bass in my collarbones. Zack immediately makes a beeline for the bar.

I don't know how he can handle drinking. I stay away from alcohol at almost any cost. It's one of the side effects of the Mako treatment all soldiers go through. Any kind of alcohol will make you sick as hell. The good side is my memories of the war will never make me an alcoholic.

I follow more slowly. It's too hot in here, I'm glad I left my jacket in the car.

"You want one?" Zack mouths pointing to the drink in his hand. He's probably shouting but in here who could tell.

I shake my head and dodge a group of girls. There must be over a hundred people in here.

"Let's go over there." Zack points as soon as I'm close enough to actually hear him in the noise. He doesn't give me a chance to answer before he takes off in the direction of a group of barely dressed girls. He throws his arm around one of their necks and she doesn't slap him so he must know her.

I follow once again.

"Girls, this is my buddy Cloud." He waves his hand at me trying to get me closer. "Cloud, this is Lynn, Kei, Julie, and Victoria." He points to each. It doesn't matter. I won't be able to tell the difference between the four of them in ten minutes. I don't understand why but sometimes it seems like all the girls in places like this are clones. Like a factory upstairs turns out one every ten minutes.

In unison the four inspect me. I can't figure out what they're looking for. Is there something wrong with me?

Zack goes back to talking to them and for the most part they stop looking at me. I just stand next to Zack and look over the crowd. The flashing lights make it hard to distinguish color. It's one of those things. Half the dancers appear to have neon green hair, while the other half has flame red. Then they switch, then blue and yellow, then green and purple. So on and so forth.

There is a burst of laughter next to me. I guess the girls think Zack is funny. The five of them head for the bar. I find a patch of empty wall and lean against it arms crossed. Zack may always ditch me but I always let him because the girls he picks up are pretty bad. He has no standards.

"Hey cutie," One of the girls walks over to me. Lynn or Julie I'm not sure which. "Wanna dance."

I look down at her. I can tell she's high, it's the dull eyes. "No." I answer her firmly I don't dance.

I don't know why but she seems offended. She glares at me. What, what did I do? She turns on her heel and stomps away from me. I shake my head. I really don't get what made her mad.

Zack and the other three wander over and all crash into the booth nearest me. They're all drunk, the pile of scantily clad girls and Zack writhes as they spill they're drinks.

"Cloud," He shouts over a smooth leg. "Come on, join us."

The girls giggle and call out to me too. Why does he do this? He knows I hate this kind of thing. I turn and walk away.

I search for any kind of open spot. Anything that isn't packed with bodies. This place is starting to make me claustrophobic. I really hate large groups of people they always set me on edge.

It takes a few minutes but I manage to steal the seat in the corner where the bar meets the wall. There aren't many people hanging out on this end, thank god. This is starting to get to me. Why oh why did I let Zack drive. If I had just followed him I would be able to leave on my bike.

I put my head in my hands and try to block out some of the weird atmosphere. If it gets any worse, I'm going to have to leave.

"What can I get you?" A cheery voice asks me. I look up to see the female bartender in front of me. She's not like the clones. The lighting is bad but she has long dark hair and dark eyes. She gives me a happy smile.

"Nothing." I shake my head.

She frowns a little, "You sure?"

"Yeah, thanks though." I'm trying not to stare. She's very attractive, in a real way instead of the fake way the girls with Zack are.

She tilts her head to the side a little. "Then why are you sitting at the bar?"

I'm trying to think of something to say to that when Lynn or Julie, whatever her name is, walks over and dumps her drink over my head. God damn it, this is worse than these nights usually are.

The bartender hides a smile behind her hand and hands me a towel.

"Thanks," I murmur. Why do these things always happen?

She gives a small laugh. It's surprisingly deep for her voice. "What did you do?"

"I didn't dance with her." I tell her trying to get a lime out of my hair. Tonight is a total bust. If my bike were here I would just leave. I'm contemplating just walking at this point.

"That's it?" She raises an eyebrow.

"As near as I can figure." I respond. She's easy to talk to.

"Here I'll make you a drink on the house." She smiles. "I'm sure I can make something you'll like."

I debate for a moment. Anything she makes will make me sick in a few hours but she's actually talking to me so... "Alright." I shrug

She looks at me for a moment. Then turns away and starts grabbing bottles. I watch amused. She flips a bottle behind her back and catches it mid air without looking. I'm impressed. I mean I've seen trick bartending before but she's really got the stuff down. She sets a drink down in front of me.

"Try it out. I'll be back." She gives me a small wink and hurries off to help some other people.

I consider just dumping the damn thing out. She's just trying to be nice. I bet she'll ask me how it was so I better have an answer. I try it. It's good, surprising so. It's slightly tangy with only the smallest burn of alcohol. I take another sip. Yeah it's really good. I have no idea what it is.

She comes back over after a couple of minutes. "So how is it?"

"It's good." I nod a little. "What is it?"

She tilts her head to the side. "I don't know. I don't have a name for it yet."

"You mean you just made it up?" I ask skeptical.

"No," She waves her hand at me. "I've been working on it for a while it just doesn't have a name yet."

"Reminds me of Cosmo Canyon." I say without really thinking.

"That's it." She snaps her fingers and smiles at me. "A Cosmo Comet."

"Sounds good." I manage and take another sip. I look down at the drink. I've had more than half of it already. I'm really going to regret this tomorrow.

She stares at me for a moment, and then leans on the bar. "So Mr. doesn't drink, doesn't dance, doesn't smile what do you do?"

Hey, I'm drinking right now aren't I. "I work for a mail service."

"What?" She shouts as the music suddenly gets louder.

"I'm a delivery boy." I shout back just as the music stops for a second. The words echo across the room and several people turn to stare. Great I'm so smooth.

She gives me a little smirk. "Delivery boy?"

She's laughing at me. Crap, what do I say? I'm saved by Zack.

"Hey," He shouts and falls into me one arm around my neck and nearly yanks me off the seat. "Where'd ya go?" He's slurring.

"I was just having a drink." I tell him. She's laughing at me again.

"A drink?" He wavers a little then goes limp. He's passed out. Good going Zack. We've been here for less than two hours and you're already plastered.

"I better get him home." I tell her standing up. "Thanks for the drink."

"You're welcome." She gives a little wave and watches as I hoist Zack up and try to navigate to the door.

I manage to get Zack to my apartment before I get sick. The Mako rejects the alcohol and thus I spend like four hours hugging my toilet. God I really hate drinking. I've only got three hours until I have to be at work by the time I stop throwing up. I wish I could call in sick but my boss thinks that the only excuse for missing work is being dead. I'll just have to suffer through it.

What a horrible night. I got dragged out by Zack, got a drink poured on my head, drank just because the bartender was cute and I didn't even get her name.

**There's the first chapter. I'm actually pretty proud of this story, I've already got five chapters ready to post and more are coming. **

**Please review, I need constructive criticisim. Most of the people I know can't give it because they don't know the game or have no editing skills. Even if it's just to correct a grammar error I still need help. **

**Thanks bunches.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I feel like shit when my alarm goes off the next morning. I don't think I slept more than twenty minutes. Zack is still passed out on my couch, I don't bother waking him. He'll figure out what happened when he wakes up and call me. I take a quick shower and manage to make a really bad cup of coffee before I actually leave the apartment. Jesus my head hurts. Even my bike's engine makes it pound.

I get to work late. I'm almost never late.

"Woah," Biggs almost takes a step back when he sees me. "Cloud you look horrible. You want to go home? I'll cover for you."

"I'm fine." I say. What's the point I'll feel just as bad there as I will here.

He gives me a funny look then shrugs. "Alright, you've got eight packages."

"Where to?" I ask yawning. God I wish I had gotten more sleep last night. Being violently sick can really take it out of you.

"East side of town mostly." He hands the delivery slips to me. "One out to Kalm."

I curse internally. Kalm can take two hours each way depending on traffic. I just hope there is no construction. I leaf through the papers checking names to see if there's anyone I've delivered to before. Trepe, Baldesion, Dincht, Wallace, Highwind, Cole, Gabbiani, and Liore. Damn not that Highwind guy again.

I suffer through the first three deliveries without really caring. I feel like a car ran over me.

It's not until I pull up to the fourth delivery that I actually wake up. It's a place called the 7th Heaven. My fuzzy brain screams at me but I don't pay it much attention until I knock on the door.

She opens it. I mean the cute bartender from last night. I put two and two together. This is the club I was at.

She looks much different now. Changed from what I saw in the flashing lights last night. Her hair reaches almost to her knees and is dark brown, dark enough to be almost black. She's wearing a black miniskirt with suspenders and a white tank top. Wow, I mean WOW. She's even cuter in the light. A look of surprise flashes across her heart shaped face but disappears as instantly as it came.

"Well, well, well," She gives me a little smirk and leans on the door frame. "Delivery boy, I didn't expect you to miss me this much."

This is where things get weird for me. I'm a little shocked and almost embarrassed by her comment. Yeah I wanted to see her again but it's not like I planned this.

I stare, then almost woodenly answer her. "I got a package for Wallace."

"That's my boss. Come on in. I'll go get him." She turns and waves me into the place before disappearing up a staircase next to the bar.

I stand frozen in the middle of the dance floor. It's weird to see this place in the daylight. The walls are no longer backlit and the windows leave light streaming in. All the tables and chairs have been stacked in a corner like a pile of broken scaffolding. The room looks almost forlorn in its empty state.

"He'll be down in a minute." She reappears on the stairs after a minute and walks straight over to me raising an eyebrow. "You look like shit."

"I didn't get much sleep." I make the excuse and look away refusing to meet her eyes.

I can feel her staring at me for a minute then fast as a snake she whips her arm out and grabs my chin bringing my eyes to meet hers. Her eyes are ruby red, I couldn't tell last night.

"You've got Mako in you." She lets go of my chin and puts her hands on her hips. "No wonder you look so bad. You should have told me."

Honestly I'm too shocked to answer her. I hide behind my bland face.

"I can make you something that will help." She grabs my arm and drags me to the bar before I can protest.

She sets to work immediately. Making some concoction of what looks like a raw egg and some kind of juice. I sit down mostly because I have no idea what else to do. I've lost control over the situation, if I ever had any.

"Drink up." She plunks a truly gross looking drink onto the bar in front of me.

I stare at it dubiously but she's watching me intently. I drink the damn thing. It tastes horrible. I mean really horrible. Like worst thing you've ever had in your life. I manage to drain the glass without gagging but only just.

"Feel better?" She raises her eyebrow at me again.

I grimace. "After that anything is better."

She laughs a little. "Maybe I should call that drink the Death of a Delivery Boy instead of the Cosmo Comet."

I smile a little at her joke.

"You smiled." She stares at me grinning. "I was beginning to think you were made of stone."

I just shrug. It's a common assumption. I was quiet even before I went to war but now people have a tendency to think I'm emotionless. I've never been good at showing stuff like that.

"What's this about a delivery?" A large black man comes down the stairs.

"Barret, Delivery Boy here has a package for you." She points at me.

I stand up and hand him the box.

He doesn't wait just cradles it in one arm and rips it open. I catch sight of something pink and fluffy.

"What is it?" She asks craning over his shoulder.

He looks around then in a hushed whisper says. "Marlene's birthday present."

I hold out the delivery slip and pen. "If I could get a signature?"

The big man sighs. "Yeah."

He uses his free hand to put the box down and takes the slip from my hand. It's only then that I realize he's been using the same hand for everything because his other one isn't real. It's a prosthetic limb.

He clumsily writes his name in the box and hands me the slip back. "I better hide this before she wakes up." He tells the bartender and starts back up the stairs.

She smiles after him and turns back to me. I'm putting the slip in my bag. I look back up at her. Our eyes meet again and suddenly it's like my vision is obscured by those ruby red eyes. We stare for a minute before I break the gaze and turn away.

"Thanks for the remedy." I say. "It was nice to see you again."

"I'll walk you out." She smiles and walks with me to the door.

"This place is actually pretty nice." I say after an awkward moment. It's lame but at least it's something to say.

She laughs. "Yeah, last night was one of our crazy nights. You should come by on a Monday."

"A Monday?" I ask.

"It's our slowest night." She remarks as we reach the door. "It's much calmer then."

"I might do that." I shrug and open the door.

"You should." She smiles as I walk out. "I'd like the chance to actually talk to you."

And then she's gone. The door is shut as I turn to look at her. I feel my face creep up into a small smile. She just said she would like to talk to me. Maybe last night wasn't such a disaster after all.

Of course it's not until I'm two blocks away that I realize I still don't know her name.

I do feel better though. Whatever that disgusting concoction was it actually helped. I can't help smiling as I make my way back to the dirty warehouse from yesterday. She wants me to come back. I might actually have a chance of getting a date.

The package for Mr. Highwind is heavy again. Damn, I don't care who calls I'm not answering my phone. I knock on the door.

"What the fuck is it now?" The shout echoes inside and then the door gets flung open. He eyes me warily.

"Delivery Mr. Highwind." I push the box towards him.

"This you're regular route kid?" He squints taking the box from me.

I keep my face straight and nod my head but the 'kid' hits hard. I'm 23 but I look much younger than I am. It's a shock that the cute bartender didn't card me last night. I always get carded.

"Then don't fucking call me Mr. Highwind, you make me sound like some old fart. Use Cid." He signs the paper and shoves it back at me. "That your bike?" He jerks his head at it.

"Yeah," I shrug and put the slip in my bag.

"Can I take a look?" He's still glaring at me.

"Sure."

He puts the box down and stalks over to my bike. "An old Fenrir." He muses poking at the clutch. This guy is weird. "Whadaya got on it?"

I shrug, "Modded fuel intake, high power brakes, just the basics."

He frowns. "Ya race?"

"Use to."

He doesn't say anything for a moment then he whips around and stalks back to the building. "I got a fucking shit load of these things coming." He says lifting the box. "I'll see you around kid." Then the door slams again.

I shake my head. There sure are some crazies in this city.

I don't get the phone call until I'm on my way back from Kalm. I pull over and pick up the phone.

"Hey,"

"Cloud," Zack sounds confused. "Why am I on your couch?"

"You passed out at the club." I tell him checking my map.

"Shit," He groans. "What did I do?"

"You drank."

"Don't remind me. Did you get me back here?"

"Yeah, your keys are on the counter."

He groans again. "I don't think I'm going anywhere soon."

I smirk a little. It may take Zack longer to react than me but he still gets violently sick after drinking. "The pain killers are in the bathroom."

"Fuck it looks like a bloody massacre in here." He must have gone in there. It's dirty, I didn't have time to clean it up this morning but it's nowhere near as bad as he's making it out to be.

"I'll bring back some food." I tell him.

"Thanks man..." He starts but I hear the familiar sound of the phone hitting the bathroom floor and him throwing up.

I hang up and start my bike again. This is another thing that happens most times he drags me out to the bar. I don't know how he manages when I don't go with him.

I stop at the Happy Luck Leviathan on the way home. It's cheap, portable, and the owner, Godo, is one of my few friends.

"Hello," He smiles as I enter. "You want the regular?" I like this place, it's almost authentic. I spent a lot of time in Wutai during the war. It's easy to develop a taste for their strange food.

"Yeah," I wave. "Better give me double; Zack's puking his guts out at my place."

Godo laughs a little and turns around to wrap the food for me. I feel a little tugging at my back pocket. That would be Yuffie. I just reach around and grab the hand actively stealing my wallet.

"Hey Yuffie," I sigh and lift the small teenager out of her hiding spot. "I would like to keep my wallet today."

"Hey Cloud." She gives me a smug smile and tosses it at me.

"Yuffie," Godo turns around and starts yelling at his daughter in Wutaian. She starts yelling back. I don't know enough of the language to get every word but I'm pretty sure that it's something about ninjas not being thieves and family honor or something.

I sigh. Godo and Yuffie are actually the last members of the Kisagari family. The royal house of Wutai. They were some third or fourth cousins before the war but when the palace got stormed their entire family was killed. Zack and I got assigned to take them out of country. I think we're the only people who know who they actually are. What this means is Yuffie is the royal princess of Wutai. Somehow she got it into her head that she has to steal the throne back so she's practicing to be a thief as well as a ninja. But they've been in hiding here for three years but that's enough for the west to have an influence on the girl. Godo and her fight all the time. The argument ends with her sticking out her tongue and dashing out the door.

Godo shakes his head. "I am sorry you had to see that my friend."

"No big deal." I wave him off and take the food from him. "Thanks I'll see you later."

Outside Yuffie is sitting on my bike. She gives me an impish grin and dangles my keys in one hand. Damn she's getting better. "Can I get a lift?"

I grab the keys out of her hand. "Not tonight Yuff."

"Why?" She pouts.

"Zack's at my place puking his guts out."

Her eyes light up with mischief. "Have a big night did he?" She's seen what happens to us when we drink. The first time she tried to sneak back to Wutai on the journey here she slipped some vodka in with our drinks thinking we would fall asleep. She was extremely surprised when exactly the opposite happened. There's nothing worse than chasing a hyperactive teenager across a field when you feel like a hot fiery worm has crawled down your throat and is trying to eat you from the inside out.

"At least five drinks." I say shooing her off of my bike.

She winces and jumps off. "Ouch, I can come cheer him up."

"I don't think he'll appreciate that kiddo."

She gives a big sigh and rolls her eyes. "Fine, you're no fun Cloud."

I swing a leg over my bike and adjust my goggles. "See you later Yuffie."

She waves back at me over her shoulder as she walks away. "Yeah, yeah. Dinner's on Thursday."

Zack and I get invited to dinner with her and Godo every week. I try to make it when I can but it always depends on where I take deliveries that day.

By the time I get home Zack is no longer throwing up. He's slumped in one of the chairs in the living room looking like death.

"Hey, I got food." I hold up the bags and grin at him.

"How the hell can you be so chipper?" He groans. "It looks like you had a worse time than I did."

"I got help this morning."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "You're enjoying my suffering aren't you?"

"Yeah," I push a carton of noodles over to him. "Eat something."

His face goes distinctly green. "I don't think I'm quite there yet."

"Suit yourself." I start eating.

"You got help with this?" He asks doubtfully.

"Yeah, I got a package for the owner of that place we were last night." I nod and continue eating. "The bartender made some kind of drink that helped."

"Which one?" His eyes light up a little.

"The chick. She's pretty nice."

"She's pretty hot." He grins at me. "How did you manage to talk to her? She completely ignored me."

"You don't remember anything do you?"

"Not after I started drinking with the girls. What happened?"

I relate the story to him. Mostly the part where I got a drink dumped on my head. Then tell him about this morning.

"Aww... My little Cloud is growing up." He reaches out and ruffles his hair.

"Jackass," I call him and wave the food under his nose.

He goes green again and dashes for the bathroom.

**Yay, second chapter. I'm allowed to be excited about it.**

**Kudos to anyone who can name the delivery list. I assure you they are all Final Fantasy characters. I'll post a full list on the next chapter.**

**Also despite my best intentions I totally forgot to mention something after the last chapter. Whenever I write I listen to songs. I'll base a scene off of one song. It doesn't mean that lyrics have anything to do with what I'm writing but I thought it would be interesting to tell people. The first chapter was Flavor of the Week by De/Vision and this one was Staring at the Sun by TV on the Radio.**

**Once again reviews are awesome, I love getting them. There's nothing like the warm glow of fellow nerds telling you good things about you're work.**

**Thank you everyone**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It was almost two weeks before I went back to see her. The delivery service got overloaded with orders and two different people walked out so I got sent to Kalm several times. I even had to make a run to Junon which is a two day trip.

Between the massive amount of work and a two day stay at the hospital I didn't have much free time. And well... I was having second thoughts about going back.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's talked to her. Guys must hit on her all the time. She was probably just being nice when she told me to come back. Zack finally called me and bitched me out for not going. He's strangely enthusiastic about me seeing any kind of girl.

So the next Monday I weaseled my way out of a late delivery and went to the 7th Heaven. I'm determined to learn her name this time.

I walk into the bar ready to turn and leave if I don't see her but she's there.

The place looks much different. It's almost empty and there is no band playing. No flashing lights, no dancing bodies, no music loud enough to make your eardrums hurt. In fact it just looks like a slightly fancy bar now.

She smiles at me as I walk up and take a seat at the bar.

"Delivery Boy, I'd almost given up." She leans on the counter in front of me. "I didn't think you were coming back."

I shrug, "I've been working."

"Where did they send you, Junon?" She jokes.

"That was last week," I smile a little. "This week was Ft. Condor."

"Wait, seriously?" Her jaw drops.

"Yeah, I usually stay in Midgar or Edge but we're short staffed right now." I inform her.

"How do you get there?" She asks while pouring a drink.

"I've got a pretty nice motorcycle. It's better for the mountains."

"Tough guy then?" She teases me and sets a drink down for me.

"Not really." I give the drink a dubious look.

"It's virgin, don't worry." She almost laughs.

"Ah," I hesitate but drink it anyway. It's mostly juice with a slight tartness.

"Hey," A tall guy with red hair leans against the bar near us. "Checks in yet?"

"No, Barret's not back yet." She turns to him and shakes her head.

"Oh," He shrugs then looks at me. "Ooh... and who is this pretty boy?"

Oh god is he flirting with me? What do I do, I panic.

"Johnny," She reprimands him. "This is Delivery Boy. I'm pretty sure he's straight."

He turns to me with a pout on his face. "Are you?"

"Yes." I manage, he makes me very uncomfortable.

"Pity," He sighs. "Oh well, I'll see you later." He waves at her as he leaves.

"You're safe now," She laughs. "He'll leave you alone."

"Delivery Boy?" I ask. "I have a name you know."

"Ah, but you've never told me what it is." She points out.

"You've never told me yours." I counter.

We smile at each other for a minute. There's that weird feeling again. The one that I got when I looked into her eyes the other day.

"How about this," She finally says. "We'll take turns asking questions. The First one to guess the other's name wins." She's making a deal with me. I can't be positive but I think she's flirting.

"Alright," I shrug. This could be interesting.

She frowns for a split second then asks her question. "How old are you?"

"23," I answer. "Same to you."

"22. You don't look 23."

"That's what everyone says." I shrug. "How long have you been working here?"

"Almost a year, Barret hired me when this place opened. Where are you from?" She cocks her head at me.

"How do you know I'm not from here?" I smile.

She rolls her eyes. "No accent, answer."

"Little town in the middle of nowhere called Nibelheim." I answer.

"No way," She frowns but gives a little half smile. "Me too. What area?"

Wait, she's from Nibelheim? What are the chances of meeting someone from my hometown here?

"North Nibel," I finally answer. "You?"

"Same," She nods. "You went to NN High then?"

I shake my head, "No, moved just before high school." That's why I've been feeling weird about her. She's from the same town and area. I vaguely recognize her but I can't remember her name. "What are your initials?"

"That's cheating." She raises an eyebrow.

"No it's not." I shake my head. "Here I'll even give you mine, CS." It's safe to tell her that. I mean how many people would guess Cloud if you told them your name started with a C.

She stares for a moment. "TL." My memory is finally turning something up. She lived two blocks away in a little blue house. Her father hated me because I would use his yard as a shortcut sometimes. What was his name? Lock something, Lockard, Lockmore?

"You're the kid who always got suspended for fighting at school aren't you." She looks thoughtful.

"Guilty." I have to admit I fought all the time up until I went into the military. "Your father hated anyone who got on his lawn." Lockheart that was it. Now I just have to remember her first name.

She glares; it seems I'm one up. She remembers school but I remember her family. "Strife," She finally says. "Everyone called you Strife."

"When they were yelling at me yes." She may be frowning and glaring but my smile just keeps getting bigger and bigger. "It's my last name."

She frowns more. I'm actually enjoying this. It's gone beyond our game. It's personal now. We know each other but neither of us can remember much of it. Who will remember the name first?

What was her first name? I can't remember. It starts with a T, she told me that much. Terra, Teresa, Tina? Ti sounds right but it's not Tina.

"It was something strange, something to do with the sky." She mutters tapping her fingers on the bar.

Tiffany? Close but not quite. I feel a grin, an actual grin, spread across my face. I know it.

She narrows her eyes. "You know don't you."

"Maybe," I shrug.

"Then why don't you say it?"

"Maybe I'm wrong." I'm teasing her now and she knows it. Maybe I'm taking it too far; she seems actually annoyed with me now.

She presses her lips together, "Cloud Strife, you answer the question right now." She demands.

"You know you use to use that exact same tone with me when you were a hall monitor, Tifa Lockheart."

"Well you were always late." She blinks for a moment as if she just now realized that she used my name then smiles a little. "Should we call that a draw?"

I shrug. "Sounds fair."

There is an awkward silence between us. I'm not sure what to say. I was teasing her but she doesn't seem to be flirting back anymore. Plus the pretty girl I've been hitting on is someone I grew up with. I don't know what to do; the situation is just too weird.

"So what happened to you?" She asked after a few minutes.

I almost wince. That's a hard question to answer. "Well," I start, trying to sound casual. "My mother moved us to Junon just before high school. I finished up there then joined the military." I shrug; it's easier to just skip the three and a half years of the war. "When I got out I didn't really have a place to go. I let Zack talk me into coming here." I hope that's good enough.

"Is Zack you're buddy from the other night?" She asked.

"Yeah, we were in the military together." I can see the questions in her eyes. The regular what unit, were you in Wutai, did you see action? She doesn't ask them though and I'm grateful. "What about you?" I change the subject.

She waves a hand. "Basic story, graduated, did two years at the community college. I had to stop to take care of my dad. He developed cancer. He died last year. I just wanted to get away so I came here." She's keeping it casual just like I did.

"Yeah, I can understand that." I nod. I know the feeling. I wanted to run away from everything too, after the war. Now I just wish my memories would leave me alone.

We continue chatting for a little bit but something is wrong. She's stopped flirting or teasing me completely. I guess I was more attractive when she knew me as Delivery Boy. It gets more than a little awkward.

"It's getting late," I say standing up. "I have to work in the morning." There's no point in me hanging around if she's not interested. We can hardly talk now.

"Yeah," She gives me a small fake smile. "I'll see you around."

Damn, I curse myself as I start my bike. What the hell happened? Things were going so well.

Shit, Tifa bloody Lockheart. I still can't believe it. Of all the freaking girls in the world it had to be her I hit on.

We were on opposite sides growing up. I took a lot of shit as a kid. Mostly because of my dad. He abandoned mom and me when I was three. Also as an only child I didn't develop any social skills until I was in High School. As a result I got into a lot of fights, even after I learned how to talk to people. I was always getting put in detention or suspended. I was the trouble maker. I never got good grades, I would beat the shit out of anyone in my way, and I mouthed off to the teachers as much as possible. It's one of the reasons mom moved us away from Nibelheim. I still didn't do so well.

Tifa on the other hand was the good girl. Straight A's, teacher's pet, hall monitor, and an active role in student council. She was never mean to me like the other kids but she never approved of me either.

We never knew each other very well. The most she ever talked to me was when she was chewing me out for being late. I'm not really surprised we didn't recognize each other, it's been ten years since I left Nibelheim and all the people who knew me before the war say I've changed. I can testify that my hair was never this spiky before the war. It's all the scars.

I wonder what a smart girl like her is doing working in a night club like that. She could have gotten into any college she wanted to. Unlike me. My only real options were to either join the military or get a crappy job. I chose the former and five years later I still wound up with a crappy job.

I sigh to myself as I head home, so much for a date.

**Sorry this one is so short but that's the way it goes. Trust me I'll make up for it in later chapters.**

**Here's the list I promised. Quistis Trepe-FFXIII, Krile Baldesion-FFV, Zell Dincht-FFXIII, Barret Wallace-FFVII, Cid Highwind-FFVII, Lock Cole-FFVI, Setzer Gabbiani-FFVI, and Laguna Loire-FFXIII.**

**Anyway, thank you so much to the sweet people who have given me reviews. You're all so nice it makes me grin.**

**Song for this chapter- Hemidalsgate Like a Promethean Curse by Of Montreal**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Zack called me the next day, once again while I was on a delivery. He really does have the worst timing. This time I won't bother to pick up the package until I get off the phone with him.

"How'd it go?" He asks before I even say hello. I know he's talking about last night.

"Bad," I grimace.

"What happened? I thought she was all over you."

"How would you know, you were too drunk to walk." I sigh.

"Whatever, what happened?"

"Turns out she's from my home town." I lean against my bike. "She lived a few blocks away from me and she remembers my jerk stage."

"Ouch, old acquaintances are always a bad idea."

"Well yours definitely are." I agree.

"Hey," He objects, "I treat my girls like bloody queens."

"Yeah you do, until you spot some other girl."

"What, I never promise them anything." I can practically hear him grinning. Trust Zack to find a loophole anywhere. "What kind of flowers would you want if you were having a baby?" He asks out of the blue.

I almost choke. "What?"

"Josie just had a baby. I want to get her flowers." He says casually.

"Josie?" My voice is full of disbelief. "That girl last year that you dated for almost a month?" Oh god, the last thing I need is a Zack junior running around.

"Don't worry it's not mine." He laughs. "I did the math. If it was mine it would have been born four months ago."

"You're sure?" I ask dubiously. It's a bloody miracle he's not already paying child support.

"Yeah," He doesn't seem worried so he must be positive. "So what kind of flowers should I get her?"

"I don't know. Ask the people at the shop." I shake my head.

"Good idea. You want to go out tonight?"

"No," I say firmly. "I've got to make a run to Junon in the morning."

"I know a girl who can take that bartender off your mind." He tries to coax me.

"No Zack." I sigh, frustrated. He never lets up.

"Fine, be that way. Are you going to be back in time for dinner at the Leviathan on Thursday?"

"I hope so." I stand and start getting the package out of my saddle bag. "I've gotta go. Some of us actually have to work."

"Hah," He laughs. "Alright I'll talk to you later."

"Later."

Zack works as a security consultant. Basically he just shows up, bitches out Rent-a-Cops for an hour, point out what they're doing wrong, and gets paid. It means he gets a decent wage for about two hours of work. The weird thing is everyone is so impressed by him that one month later when the Rent-a-Cops have forgotten what he told them he gets called to come back. He tried to get me a job doing the same thing but it requires talking to people and being charismatic, which I don't do.

I sigh and get on with the delivery then head to Cid's again. I've been dropping packages off to him every day I've been in town for the last two weeks. Whatever he's working on he's getting a lot of deliveries. He's at least gotten slightly friendlier to me though.

I knock on the door to the warehouse and for the first time ever there is no cussing from the other side. The door opens after a minute to show a pretty redheaded woman in mechanics overalls.

"Yes?" She blinks at me through her glasses.

It throws me off. "Uh... delivery for Cid." I manage, who knew the old bastard had it in him.

"Oh, come in he's just working in the hanger." She steps aside and invites me in.

This is new. I've never been in the warehouse. Some days Cid will only open the door enough for me to hand him the package. He's super protective of whatever he has in there.

She leads me through a small office and onto the warehouse floor. Inside is an old fighter plane. Its beat to shit and its engines are dismantled. The floor is littered with various parts.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing woman?" Cid comes storming across the floor. "What have I fucking told you about bringing people in here?"

She flinches and starts to turn red. "I-I'm sorry." She stammers.

"Don't bloody well let anyone in here." He shouts and then actually takes a look at me. "Oh, it's you kid." He stops shouting and gives me a look. "I guess you're okay."

I hand him the package. The poor woman is still standing next to us, her face as red as a cherry.

"Shera, don't just fucking stand there. Get our guest some god damned tea."

She runs off before I can say anything. "I can't hang around." I tell him.

"No problem." He waves his hand and takes the package from me.

"What is it?" I ask gesturing at the fighter plane.

He puts his hands on his hips and laughs. "The Tiny Bronco. Flew more than 200 bombing runs in the war. I'm fixin' 'er up."

"Nice," I comment as he signs the delivery slip.

"She's a beaut all right." He grins. "You look down kid, everything alright?"

I must be in bad shape for him to comment. "It's nothing." I say.

"It's a girl isn't it?" He laughs.

I scratch the back of my head, embarrassed. "Yeah."

"What'd you do?"

"Hit on a girl I grew up with without realizing it was her." I shrug.

"Good luck." He slaps my back and laughs again. There is about ten seconds of silence. "You thinking of doing the desert races?"

"Not really," I shake my head. At least he dropped the girl thing. "Why?"

"I made a bet with that fuckin' asshole Palmer" He winces. "Bet him that I could find a racer that could beat his golden child."

I sympathize. Palmer runs the races out here so he always has the best.

"I'll fix your bike up if ya race for me." Cid squints at me.

"Big bet?" I ask.

"Fuckin' huge." He growls. "I may have been a little drunk at the time."

"Can't guarantee I'll win. I haven't raced in five years and it was mostly casual stuff." I tell him.

"Yeah," He shrugs. "But I figure with your bike you've got a chance and I can't just do nothin'."

"Alright," I shrug, "I'll do it."

"Good on ya." He grins and slaps my back again. "Come by next week and we'll see what I can do with your bike."

I wave and leave the warehouse. It would be nice to race again; it's been a long time. I use to do it in Junon during High School. Also I'm a sucker for my bike. I've denied myself food to get it fixed before.

They make you take a three day readjustment course when you leave the military, especially after a war. They lecture you on how to deal with PTSD and how to avoid things that will trigger it. The best advice they gave was to get a hobby.

With that in mind one of the first things I did was pick up my bike. It had been put into storage after my mother's death. I thought I would never want to see the stuff she left behind, it would just be too painful but getting the bike helped me to no end. So my bike is my hobby, like it was before I went to war. If Cid is offering to fix it up in return for me just taking part in a race then it seems harmless enough.

"You're gonna race?" Yuffie squealed excitedly, standing up and knocking over her chair at dinner that Thursday. "That's so awesome, I wanna go watch."

"Yuffie, sit down." Godo snapped.

"Yeah," I shrug. "In two months."

"That's great." Zack grins. "I'll get a pool started."

"You realize that there's almost no chance of me winning." I point my chopsticks at him.

"Never said I would bet on you." He laughs. "No really, it's good to see you putting your hobby to some use."

"Oh," I smirk. "And yours is so useful." Zack's chosen hobby was girls.

"Hey I'm entertained aren't I?" He retorts.

"We're gonna go, right old man?" Yuffie asks Godo.

"Of course, I will support our friend." Godo frowns at her. He hates the fact that she calls him old man instead of honored father like their culture expects. They have a strained relationship because he was raised at court but was banished just after she was born, so she never learned the old traditions. I never did find out what he did that got them banished.

"I'll be there too." Zack assures me.

"You guys don't need to come." I shake my head. They really don't, it will be four hours of standing in the desert sun, for ten minutes of racing.

"Of course we do. What kind of friends would we be if we didn't?" Yuffie frowns at me. "Besides imagine all the pockets I'll be able to pick." She grins.

Godo shouts something about family honor in Wutaian at her, and she shouts back. I roll my eyes at them. I like coming here to have dinner. Godo always serves an amazing meal, he thinks he's paying off some kind of debt. The thing is they end up fighting every time. He expects her to behave like a princess and she doesn't see the point because she can't even visit the country she's princess of.

"So have you talked to that bartender again?" Zack leans across the table.

"No," I glare at him. "And I don't plan to."

"Man don't let one bad thing stop you." He gives me that knowing grin again. "You'll never get anywhere with her if you do."

I sigh. "She's not interested Zack."

"So make her interested." He shrugs. "I'm sure you can manage that."

"Yeah," I snort. "Right."

"Okay so you don't have the talent." He smirks.

"Thanks for the confidence." I roll my eyes at him.

"Then make a move." He says like it's obvious. "Or actually talk to one of the girls I introduce you to."

"They're all drunk or high." I glare. "Besides they're not my type."

"Well if you're going to have standards there's nothing I can do for you." He shrugs.

"Well I'm sorry I'm not willing to jump into bed with loose women like you are." I glare even more.

"We could always get you a hooker."

"Shut up Zack." I snap. I don't like him reminding me of the things I did during the war. The hookers weren't the worst part but still, I don't like it.

"Hookers, eww." Yuffie makes a face. The word apparently distracted her from the fight. "That's gross. Don't you two know they have all kinds of diseases?"

Zack grimaces while Godo and I glare at him. We both try to keep the less desirable parts of our past from her. She's kind of like a little sister to us and neither of us wants to ruin the image.

"I know Yuffs." Zack mumbles. "I was just making fun of Cloud."

She gives him a weird look. "Whatever, I'm going out; I've got stuff to steal." She breezes through the door.

"Sorry," Zack apologizes to Godo.

Yuffie was too young to really understand what happened in Wutai. She and Godo were hidden away on a distant island so she wasn't really exposed to what her people did or had to do. The three of us came to the agreement that she shouldn't have to know. Not unless she needs to. Godo somewhat understands the effects war can have on a person. He knows how someone dying can be funny in that situation. It was a long time before he trusted us but now he's okay.

I shake my head and return to eating. It's going to be an interesting couple of months.

**Hey everyone, fourth chapter.**

**Before you say anything about hookers I want to say that I'm loosely basing the Wutai war off of the Vietnam war. If you've ever read anything by a Nam Vet you'll understand.**

**Song for this chapter- Moyra by The Southern Death Cult**

**Super Duper extra thanks to padfootrawr for being the most awesome reviewer I have met.**

**Hope you all enjoy. Please review.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

My day off finally rolls around. They're few and far between especially now that the office is so understaffed. I don't take days off very often anyway because I get bored. I'm not a social person so there's not much I do that doesn't involve work.

But today is different. I'm at Cid's working on my bike. I've been stopping by whenever I have free time to discuss all the various things we're going to have to do to it to make it racing quality. It's going to be a lot of work. My bike is pretty old, older than I am. It's one of the few things left behind before my dad died. Mom held onto it because he asked her to give it to me.

He worked his ass off through most of high school to buy it. Fenrir's are good quality bikes. They're set up to be one of the best if you mod them right. Even twenty five years ago it must have cost him a pretty penny.

I don't remember much of my father, most of my features I got from mom but my eyes are his. They were high school sweethearts. Mom came from a pretty well off family and dad was from the bad part of town. Mom told me it was a whirlwind romance. Then, during their senior year, mom got pregnant. Dad tried to man up and take care of her. He dropped out of school, got a job, and married her but he wasn't happy. I was three when he left. He and mom hadn't had a functioning relationship for a few years at that point. He brought home money and she took care of the house but they hardly ever talked.

I don't remember what his exact words were but he took me aside and told me that he didn't know what to do and that he couldn't be a father. He apologized to mom and just took off. We got anonymous checks in the mail for years afterward, not much, just enough to sneak by but they helped. Mom did the best she could. We relied on her parents for a long time. I grew up in their house in North Nibel.

He came back when I was twelve. Only for a day. He basically dropped off the bike, told me I was growing up to be a man and left. The checks mysteriously stopped soon after that and three months later we got a letter saying he was dead. By that time mom had found a decent job. One that had advancement opportunities. We stuck around for a couple of years to take care of grandpa. Grandma had already passed away and he was getting sick.

I was vicious little bastard then. That was the worst point of my angry stage. People didn't treat us very well because of my father. They thought that my mother was foolish and stupid. North Nibel was a yuppie town and all the adults had gone to college and gotten married before they had kids. Mom was the high class girl who had fallen for the street trash guy. Point being that they all thought she should be in the ghetto and I shouldn't ever have gone to their preppy little school.

Grandpa died when I was fourteen. That's when mom decided to move us to Junon. I wasn't doing any better in school and with her parents dead there was no point in us sticking around. She got transferred to the Junon branch of her company and we left.

I hated my father for a long time. I would fly into a rage if anybody mentioned him, one of the reasons I got into so many fights. I blamed him for our hard life. Before he died I would daydream that I would track him down and beat the shit out of him for leaving us. After he died I just hated him.

The war changed all that, now I don't know how I feel. Sometimes I think I understand what he did. He was scared so he ran away. I do it too; it's easier to just run away. I guess I got more from him than just my eyes. But he left me his bike. Mom said it was the most important thing in the world to him and he left it to me so I guess that's something.

I sigh and stand up, stepping away from the part I've been fiddling with. I'm going to have to pull the whole engine apart to get this thing in. I grab an already filthy rag and try to get the worst of the grease and oil off my hands. I have a tendency to forget how dirty my hands get when I'm working on my bike so I'm already covered in greasy smears. I'll have to scrub the hell out of myself to get clean again. I stash the rag in my back pocket and wander over to Cid.

He's been pouring over various parts books and calling all kinds of shops to get the stuff we're going to need. Two months isn't much time to make my bike racing quality. It only makes the job harder that I need it in functioning condition almost every day for work.

"Anything good?" I ask.

He gives a grunt and shakes his head. "Fucking people. Half of these places don't even know what I'm talking about." He waves a hand at the phonebook. "Palmer has the parts market all fucking sewn up."

You would think that the biggest racing city in the world would have racing shops but the market goes mostly to Palmer. "I'm making a run to Junon next week." I shrug. "If you give me a list I know a reliable shop there."

"You sure?" He squints at me.

"Yeah, I've known the guy for eight years." I answer.

"Good, I'll get you a list." He turns around and shouts. "Shera!"

Shera is the female mechanic I met the other day. It's almost like she's his slave or something. He randomly bellows at her to get a tool for him or to get him tea and she scurries to comply. She's been working on one of the Tiny Bronco's engines all morning.

His shout makes her jump and the drill she's using makes a rat-tat-tat sound. I smell the overpowering stench of plane fuel and freeze.

"What the fuck are you doing woman?" Cid shouts but I don't take much notice. A wave of dizziness washes over me and the entire hanger seems to get darker.

This happens sometimes, certain smells or sounds set me off. I have to use all my will power to keep myself from diving for the nearest cover. I hear the sound of machine guns and can feel sweat spring to my brow. I know there are no soldiers here. I know that there are no grenades or land mines blowing people up but that doesn't mean I don't see it.

"Sorry," Shera stammers.

"Go and get that list off of my desk." Cid shouts at her. "And hurry your ass while you're at it."

I can feel a freak out coming on. Shit, I wish I hadn't left my sword at home. It's always easier to deal with my PTSD if I can get to my sword. My hands start shaking, I can't control it.

Cid turns back to me and squints. "You okay kid?"

I mutter something about fresh air and hurry out of the hanger. I can't be in there right now. Between the echoing noise, the stench of the fuel, and Cid's cigarette smoke it's too overwhelming.

The fresh air does help but once I start to see things not much will bury the memories again. I walk down the street oblivious. Movement helps a little; at least I don't feel like a sitting duck when I move.

This is bad; I haven't had an attack in four months. Usually I ride my motorcycle out of the city or grab my sword and hide under the bed. Right now neither option is available.

"Cloud... Cloud..." The voice is quiet but insistent. It manages to pierce my delusions. "Look at me."

My eyes slowly focus, long brown hair, ruby eyes, Tifa. I'm sitting on a bench somewhere and she's kneeling in front of me with a worried look on her face.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"I'm fine." I mutter. It's an automatic reaction. In war you don't have time to freak out. I look up a little and meet her eyes. She flinches a little but doesn't break the gaze. Mako is activated by adrenalin and its telltale is in the eyes. Mine are probably glowing right now.

She reaches out and takes my hand. I grip it; at this point it's a lifeline. We don't say anything; she just kneels there and holds my hand until I stop shaking. It's her eyes that finally override the memories. Those ruby red eyes that finally interrupt the sounds of gunfire that only I can hear.

I relax and let go of her hand the second I'm back in control. She stretches and sits down next to me. I have no idea how long she's been sitting there. There is a strange silence between us.

"I'm sorry," she breaks the silence after a minute. "About the other night. It was kind of a shock to find out who you are."

I shrug, "I understand."

"No," She shakes her head and looks at me. "I still shouldn't have pushed you away. It was unfair." She pauses for a second. "I would like to be friends."

Friends, I could be friends with her. It's not a date but it's better than nothing. "I would like that." I say.

"Good," She smiles. "That means you'll come by the bar right?"

"When I can." I shrug. "I'm still working double shifts most days."

There is another awkward moment of silence. Come on Cloud, think of something to say. Don't just sit here like an idiot. But that's what I'm doing; sitting here like an idiot.

"So what were you doing?" She asks me with a small smile on her face.

"Huh?" I look at her.

She reaches out and drags a finger across my cheek. What the hell was that? Don't tell me we can be friends then flirt with me. She turns the finger so I can see it. It's covered in thick black grease and oil. Ah... I understand now. I look down a little embarrassed at what I must look like. Yes my arms are covered in smears, my pants are probably ruined.

"I was working on my bike." I smile faintly and reach up to rub the back of my neck but stop when I realize my hands are just as grease covered as the rest of me.

"Doing what?" She smiles then looks at her hands. The one that was holding mine has a hand shaped grease mark.

I hurriedly dig the rag out of my back pocket and hand it to her. "Replacing parts, upgrading. I'm going to be in the Desert Races."

She finds the cleanest corner of the rag and wipes off her hands. "That's awesome, I'll get the day off and come watch." She grins at me.

"I would like that." I admit. Being friends is gonna be hard, she's still cute as a friend.

"Great." She glances at her phone then stands up. "I better go I was just going to the store to pick up some olives." She gestures at the grocery store across the street from us.

"Alright, I'll see you later." I give her a casual wave.

"Yeah," She smiles again. "Good luck with your bike."

She starts to walk away but I call out to her. "Tifa," She looks at me over her shoulder. "Thanks." I say.

She just smiles gives a wave and then walks away.

I feel better, that's the second time she's talked me down from an attack. I doubt she realizes it but if she hadn't talked to me that night at the club I would have had to leave. Large groups of people make me on edge to begin with but add loud noise and drunks and I'm just asking for trouble.

Even if she just wants to be friends she's good to talk to. For someone I barely know she's really calming.

I sigh and look for a street sign. I need to get back to Cid's. He and Shera probably have no idea why I took off.

It takes about twenty minutes to get back to the warehouse. The attack must have been worse than I thought if I wandered this far.

Neither Cid nor Shera say anything when I get back. We just silently continue working. I notice Shera's not working on the engine anymore though. We work for a little while then take a break while Shera serves lunch.

"Were you in Wutai kid?" Cid asks after a few minutes.

I put down my sandwich and give him a look that says shut up. "Yeah."

"Thought so," He grins and rolls up one sleeve to display a tattoo of a fighter plane with a half naked woman on the side. "9th Air Combat Support." He announces.

Jesus, meeting Vets is even worse than civilians; they expect an answer to this kind of stuff. "18th Infantry." I lie; I don't want questions about my real unit.

He whistles. "Infantry huh? No don't tell me the stories, I don' wanna hear 'em." He waves his hand. "It's just good to meet another military man."

"EX-military Cid." I put an emphasis on the ex. I don't like being known as military any more.

"Yeah, Yeah." He laughs. "I told them they could shove it up their ass when they offered me reenlistment but you know what I mean."

"Sure." I shrug. I do know what he means. As annoying as it is to trade war stories it's nice to know some Vets. It's one of the many reasons I still hang around Zack. They understand, they're the only ones who do.

Talking to Cid isn't so bad. He doesn't ask questions. He doesn't expect me to tell him about my experience.

"Alright," He finishes his sandwich. "Let's get this baby started."

I look at my bike and shake my head. We're going to have to do a lot of work to it.

**Alright, part five. Some back story on Cloud and the reappearance of Tifa.**

**Happieness, Horky reviewed me. So thank you Horky. If you haven't read her stuff you really need to. Diaries of a Broken man is the funniest thing I've read in a long time and Modern Day Love is one of the things that inspired this story. She is awesome.**

**PadfootRawr yes I do need to thank you. Your reviews keep me going so please don't stop.**

**Alyde, thanks for the Review. To answer you're question I'm not sure who's going to show up and who's not so you'll just have to wait until I figure it out.**

**Song for this section - Keep the Car Running by The Arcade Fire.**

**Thank you everyone!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The month and a half to the race flies by. My boss finally hires some new people and I get to take more days off. I spend the days working on my bike with Cid and my evenings at the 7th Heaven talking to Tifa.

She's pretty cool to have as a friend. She's smart and has this biting sense of humor. The kind that you never see coming. She doesn't flirt with me anymore, at least not like she did at first but it's okay. I don't mind just hanging out at the bar with her. I even started inviting Zack to go with me. I actually enjoy talking to her which is more than I can say about Zack right now. He spends all his time either harping on me to ask her out or moping in a most un-Zack like way. Then the night before the race comes.

It's dance night again. I've avoided it since the last time, when everything went wrong but Tifa asked me to come by for a little bit. She gave me puppy dog eyes and begged. I'm a bloody sucker for her. Zack and I managed to snag seats at the bar but the place is so busy it's several minutes before she can stop and say hi.

"Hey guys," She leans against the bar breathlessly. "Excited about tomorrow?"

I shrug but Zack, as always, is social. "Oh yeah, I'm gonna make a huge chunk of money on this."

She smiles and turns to start mixing a drink. "You so sure about that?"

"Tifa," He slaps me on the back. "Are you questioning our boy here?"

"You're the one who keeps saying you're gonna bet on someone else." She raises an eyebrow.

"Gotta take a profit when I see it." He shrugs.

Tifa hands us each what she calls a Mako Special. After a certain amount of experimenting on Zack she found something that we could drink without getting sick. It's got the absolute smallest amount of alcohol you can imagine. I'm not sure I even see the point but they taste pretty good so I'm not going to complain.

"Busy night?" I ask.

"Freaking crazy." She sighs. Someone at the other end of the bar calls her name. "Damn, I have to go. I'll be back."

I give her a small smile as she walks away. This is how it always is on busy nights. She gets in like two or three sentences then has to run off to help someone. I wish I didn't have to come here to see her but she almost never leaves. She lives in the apartment upstairs and when she's not working she's baby-sitting the owner's daughter Marlene.

Zack sighs and fiddles with his drink. I stare at him; this intermittent brooding is driving me nuts. I am allowed to brood, he's not. I don't think I've ever seen him like this before. Then something happens that really makes me worry.

"Zackie," One of his groupies, for lack of a better word, comes over, flings her arm around his neck and gives him one of the fake pouts that I just can't stand. "Where have you been? I've been calling you all week."

He gives her a bad fake smile. "Sorry Gracie, I've been working." That's bullshit; he's less busy than ever. He even came over and met Cid and Shera today.

"But Zackie," She whines her pout getting even bigger. "I hardly ever get to see you anymore."

Zack reaches up and takes her arm off his shoulder. "Gracie, go away. I'm not in the mood."

Wait a minute; is he actually turning down a girl? Even when he's tired of one he doesn't do that. I have never seen this happen before. He must be dying.

The girl glares at him and walks away huffily. He turns back to the bar and sees me staring in disbelief. "What?" He asks.

"I just watched Zack Fair turn down a girl." I say. "Are you sick?"

"I'm allowed to turn down a girl if I want to." He shrugs.

"But you never do. Not even the ugly ones." I'm not going to let this go. I'm sick of his moping.

He doesn't say anything.

"Come on, spill." I prod him.

He sighs again. "Remember when I went to get flowers for Josie?"

I nod. I still cringe at the thought of a Zack junior.

"Well I met this really sweet girl who works at the flower shop. She really helped me out."

"So ask her out." I take a sip of my drink. He's lying to me. Zack would never act like this over a girl.

"I have." He lets out a frustrated sigh. "Like a dozen times. She keeps saying that she doesn't trust me."

"Well you do have a reputation." I point out. It's impressive actually, not many girls can say no to Zack. I'm pretty convinced that if he wasn't stepping back for me he would have already dated Tifa.

"It's not fair." He complains. "I mean she's smart, she knows everything about flowers and she's funny. I really like her."

I blink at him surprised. Smart, funny, that's not the way Zack talks about girls. Smoking hot with great cans is the way he talks about girls. Maybe he really is acting like this over a girl.

"Her name is Aerith; she's got green eyes and long brown hair. I've been going back twice a week just to talk to her. I'm running out of excuses to buy flowers." He keeps talking but I stop listening. Some guy across the bar has grabbed Tifa's hand.

Okay yes, I was watching her. I can't help it, she's gorgeous.

She yanks her hand away and gives the guy an angry glare but he grabs her hand once more. I stand up with every intention of throwing him out. Before I can get close enough to do anything she moves. The guy's head hits the bar bouncing and she pulls his arm up into a nasty hold. I can see him grimace in pain as she yanks on his arm harder.

She says something to him as the bouncers rush over. I can't hear what she said over the noise but from the look on his face it was pretty mean. The bouncers drag him off and she runs her hands through her hair. Then her eyes meet mine and she jerks her head to the side of the bar. I walk over to meet her.

Without saying anything she grabs my hand and pulls me into the back room and out the back door. This is the second time she's held my hand; I wonder if she knows what it does to me. She drops my hand and sits down on the steps outside with a sigh.

"You okay?" I ask and sit down next to her.

"Yeah," She runs her hands through her hair again. "I just can't stand jerks like that."

"Where did you learn to do that?" I'm genuinely curious, she was so fast I almost didn't see her hand move.

"Hmm?" She props her chin on her hand.

"The arm hold." I give her a small smile. "It was good."

"Oh," She shrugs. "I've been practicing Martial Arts for eight years."

I remember how strong her hand was the day she made me meet her eyes.

"Do you fight?" She turns to me.

"I learned a little in the military, not much unarmed though." I shrug, there's no point in ignoring that I was a soldier.

"What were you?" She asks.

I cringe at the question. I always avoid it. It's not like I don't want to tell her specifically I just don't want to tell anybody. I think Zack, Godo, and Yuffie are the only ones who know. Zack because he was there with me. Yuffie and Godo because when I met them I was still proud of my unit. I'm not proud anymore. That's why anytime anyone asks me I lie about it but I don't want to lie to Tifa. Half of me wants to tell her everything but the other half is terrified to.

"I'm sorry," She interrupts my thoughts while I'm still debating on the answer. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." This isn't the first time I've hesitated to answer one of her questions about that time in my life. She's got a good sense of when to drop a question.

She leans back on the steps. "I don't think we've had a night this busy in a long time. It's roasting in there."

I stand up and take the few steps to my bike. I've been parking it around back since someone decided that it would be fun to try to steal it a couple weeks ago. It's a good thing that Cid and I put some anti theft stuff in.

I rummage in the saddle bag and pull out a water bottle. I've always got one in here. The sun can be killer in the wastelands between Midgar and Kalm. I offer it to her.

"Thanks," She smiles and stares at my bike as I take my seat again. "You've really done a lot of work to it haven't you. I almost don't recognize it anymore."

"Yeah," I shrug. It's a understatement. Cid and I have almost totally revamped the bloody thing. It's gone from a regular street bike to a sleek racer in a little less than two months. I don't think that his bet could possibly be worth more than he spent on parts alone but he assures me it is. "Zack is convinced that I just bought a new one."

In a way he's right, a lot of parts have been replaced. We've elongated the body of my bike about another foot and changed the struts for the front wheel. The new exhaust pipes are huge though. The whole thing is covered in black armor as protection in case I crash. I'm not so sure about the armor. It's added 200 pounds to my bike. This means that if I crash and the bike hits me it'll break every bone in my body. I don't think that will happen, I'm too good a rider for that but the thought is kinda scary.

She laughs a little. "Speaking of, what the hell is up with him lately? He's been so moody."

I can't help smiling. "Some girl he's got a thing for is snubbing him."

"Really?" She knows him enough by now to understand why that's strange.

"Yeah, she won't go out with him because she doesn't trust him."

Tifa laughs, "It's about time."

"I know, but this might be worse."

"How so?"

"He hasn't used hot to describe her yet. He told me she was sweet."

"Oh god, it must be serious." Tifa grins, she figured out how Zack works pretty quickly after she met him. "I am so going to have to tease him about this later."

"Yeah," I turn to look at her. Our eyes meet, god what is it about those ruby eyes that make me speechless. I feel like an idiot high schooler with a crush when I look into them.

I turn away quickly and there is an awkward silence between us. I have got to stop doing this. She wants to be friends and I'm trying my damnedest to be just that. But there's this tension between us, at least on my end. It only happens when we look into each other's eyes but every time it does happen I can practically feel it in the air. It always makes us awkward.

"You still coming tomorrow?" I ask just to break the silence.

"You bet," She answers not looking at me. "I practically had to sell my soul to get the day off."

"Everyone is going to meet at Cid's at eight." I don't mind that she's not looking at me. I'm not looking at her.

"Everyone?" She asks.

"Zack, Cid, Shera, Yuffie and Godo." She's heard stories about them all. Last week Zack and I spent a couple of hours trying to explain Yuffie and her klepto tendencies. She's still only met Zack though.

"Sounds interesting." She smirks.

"Yeah, that's one way of putting it. I would call it a disaster in the making." I joke.

She laughs. It's good to have someone who laughs at my occasional jokes. "Do you think someone could give me a ride? I don't think Barret would appreciate me sneaking off with the truck for the day."

"I can pick you up. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle before?" I ask. Okay so maybe I'm still harboring some desire to get a date with her but it's the logical conclusion. Zack is already picking up Yuffie and Godo and there's no way I'm having her meet them for the first time in an enclosed space like a car.

"No," She shakes her head. "Is it hard?"

"Not really," I shrug, "If you were driving maybe but as a passenger it's pretty easy."

"You're not going to do some crazy tricks are you?" She lifts an eyebrow at me.

"No," I smile and shake my head. "I'm saving those for the race."

"Okay then," She stands up. "I better get back in there before Johnny has a heart attack."

"Yeah," I stand and follow her inside. "So I'll pick you up at 7:30?"

"Sounds good." She nods.

We enter the bar and I groan. Zack looks like he's passed out. He must have gotten a drink off Johnny. Tifa won't serve him anything with real alcohol in it.

"I better get him home." I tell her as we part ways. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She waves and makes her way back behind the bar as I approach Zack. He's slumped forward on the bar but his eyes are still open. That's a good sign. There are three empty shot glasses next to him. I sigh and lift him off the bar stool. For such a party animal he really is a lightweight.

"Hey," He mumbles.

"Come on, Zack," I pull his arm around my neck and drag him across the bar. "Let's get out of here."

"I don't know what to do." He doesn't seem to realize that I've moved him.

"About what?" I ask. He's way too drunk to ride my bike. I'm going to have to come back for it. There's no way I'm going to leave it here after someone tried to steal it a few weeks ago. It'll probably be fine parked around back but I don't want to risk it.

"Aerith man." His head rolls back on his shoulders as I prop him up against his car. Great he's got the keys; I really don't want to have to dig them out of his pocket. "I've tried everything. She just keeps ignoring me."

"I'm sure you'll find a way." I'm humoring him now. It will do him some good to have a girl resist him for a while. "Where are your keys?"

"I even bought her flowers today." He starts to slide sideways down the car. I lunge to catch him.

"I thought she worked in a flower shop." I grunt as I manage to get him vertical again. It always surprises me how heavy the human body can be.

"I know," He actually reaches into his pocket and brings out the keys. That's a bit of luck. "I tried everything else. I looked all over town for the most exotic flower I could find. This little blue thing with three petals."

I don't answer him, just unlock the door and try to wrestle him into the passenger seat.

"You know what she said?" He doesn't give me a chance to answer. "Oh... those are Lobelia erinus. Did you know that in the language of flowers that means malevolence?"

I almost laugh out loud. This girl is doing a really good job of throwing him off balance. "So she's not easy. I'm sure you can do it." I try to boost his spirits.

He doesn't answer. I sigh, he's passed out. That's Zack for you. Some girl finally tells him no so he goes and gets drunk. I hope this doesn't become a pattern because it doesn't sound like she's going to give in without a lot of work and Zack doesn't give up, ever.

I manage to get him back to his place and wake him up enough to get him up the stairs. Usually I would take him to my place so I could keep an eye on him but his place is closer to the bar and this way I don't have to walk all the way across the city.

He's got a much better apartment than I do. His bedroom is actually separate from the living room and kitchen. Although from what I understand he doesn't spend much time in it. He almost always goes home with some girl. He won't bring them here. I mean he even has a guest room, although it's usually covered in the newest security devices. Stupid git with a much better paying job than me.

I set him up on the couch and make sure there's plenty of water and a trash can next to him. Then leave his keys on the counter and start my walk back to the bar.

I had planned on going home and relaxing for a while but that's not going to happen now. Its midnight and it will be close to two before I get back to the bar and my bike. I enjoy the walk though. I would prefer to ride but still walking is good.

My mind gravitates back to Tifa. We've become pretty good friends in the last few weeks. That's rare for me. I don't make friends easily; I'm just not social enough. Even during high school in Junon I didn't really have friends. I had a group of people I hung out with because we all liked motorcycles. Then during the war I had buddies but it was different. When you're getting shot at every day you make buddies because you don't know how long you're going to live. Plus the more people who like you the more people who watch your back. Zack, Godo, and Yuffie have been my only friends for the last two years. Hell, if you include Cid and Shera I've officially doubled my friends in the last two months.

Tifa's a good friend though. She's nice unless you set yourself up for her sharp sense of humor and she's genuinely caring. I can actually talk to her, I mean have conversations. I talk to people at work like Biggs and Wedge but it's usually about work. Tifa and I can have conversations about all kinds of things. Movies, travel, mechanics. Hell, she can even talk politics with me; m people won't do that.

The kicker is that I'm still very attracted to her. I mean she's gorgeous. Nobody could deny that and she's fun. I've been by the bar every night this week to talk to her.

It's hard to be friends with someone you're attracted to. It's the reason for all the awkward silences between us. I've actually been avoiding hanging out with her alone. Not that there's much chance of that with how busy she always is. I swear she does everything at that place. She even cooks and cleans for the owner, Barret, because of the whole missing limb thing.

I really don't know what to think of him. He doesn't like me much, Tifa says it's because he's a little overprotective and thinks of her as his responsibility. He doesn't think she should hang out with an ex-soldier. It means that he's gruff with me but doesn't flip out when I show up. I figure it can't be easy for a tough guy like him to have a prosthetic arm.

Plus his adopted daughter, Marlene, is terrified of me. That was embarrassing. Tifa tried to introduce her to me and she wouldn't come out from behind Tifa. Tifa told me later that the kid is scared of my eyes. She's only six so I can kind of understand that but it's freaky to have a little kid be terrified of me.

Yuffie was never scared of me but then when I met Yuffie she simply thought that all westerners had creepy green rings in their eyes. She'd never met a civilian. I suppose she would have been scared if she had known better. No she wouldn't, not with her personality. The first thing she did when she met me and Zack was to kick me in the shin and make punching motions at him. For a twelve year old she could kick hard. I wouldn't like to feel it now that she's almost sixteen.

I sigh and keep walking. Sometimes I wish I had a car. Living with a one maybe two person vehicle is hard. But I love my bike. Nothing is better than speeding across the plains. You can forget all you're problems out there.

Bloody hell, this is one long walk. I just want to get home and relax. Maybe sleep for a couple hours. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

**Sorry for the later than usual update guys. This is what happens when your roommate forgets to pay the internet bill.**

**Anyway, the first hint of Aerith and it's almost race time.**

**Thanks to everyone who had nothing but kind words for my little back story on Cloud.**

**Thanks to TheMagicalTapeworm for being a super sweetheart and reviwing every chapter I have up.**

**Also thanks to MK4.Longfang for pointing out my mistake with Cid's military stuff. Obviously I don't know much about the military. I consulted my research sources and found out that 9th Airborne should be the 9th Air Combat Support. I'll change it here in a minute. And Longfang there will be lots more characters I'm just working them in slowly.**

**Song for this chapter - Sickness Unto Foolish Death by Akira Yamaoka(it's from the Silent Hill 3 soundtrack)**

**You all make me so happy.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It's three thirty by the time I make it back to the bar. The lights are off and all the cars have left the parking lot. I make my way around back. My bike is still here, thank god. I think I would go ballistic if it got stolen before the race. I check the saddle bags just in case. No, nothings missing so no one touched it.

"Hey," The voice nearly makes me jump out of my skin. I look around no one is out here. "Up here."

I look up; Tifa is perched on the roof staring down at me. She giggles; I've never heard her giggle before.

"Hey," I wave, "What are you doing up there?"

She shrugs. "I like it up here." She smiles and rolls over so she's on her stomach and her legs are hanging off the edge. Shit, she's going to fall off, I start over to catch her but she doesn't. She simply slides down so that she's hanging off the edge and drops. "You get Zack home okay?" She asks brushing her hands off and walking over to me.

"Yeah, mostly." I rub the back of my neck to disguise the outstretched arms to catch her.

She cocks her head at me. "Mostly?"

"He's passed out on his couch."

She gives a little laugh. "Tell him that flirting with Johnny for drinks won't work anymore."

"Is that what he did?" I grimace; Johnny is still just a little too flaming for me to be entirely comfortable with him. I can't imagine flirting with him for anything.

"Yeah," She grins. "He told me Zack was cute but you were cuter." She's doing this just to make me squirm. It's working.

"Take me for a ride." She says after a minute.

"What, now?" I ask surprised.

"Yeah," She smiles.

"Don't you want to sleep?" I try.

She shrugs. "Insomniac. Do you need to sleep?" She looks up at me.

Jesus I'm a sucker for her. It's true I don't need to sleep much, the Mako at work again. I spend most nights reading a book. "Not really," I shrug. "Where do you want to go?"

"Does it matter?" She smiles. "How do you do this?"

I reach down and unclip the little bars that support a passenger's foot. "You just put your feet there and hold on. You have to lean for balance but as long as you follow me you'll do fine."

"Okay."

"You'll want to wear these too." I hand her my spare set of goggles.

I get on my bike and she follows. It feels very strange to have someone on the bike with me. I almost never have passengers. Her arms wrap around my waist, I'm glad she can't see my face because I know it's bright freaking red. Jesus I am like some stupid high schooler with a crush. It's ridiculous.

I start up the engine and take off. We drive for a while; I take us out of the city and onto the wastelands so I can speed up. She laughs at that at least. We ride for a long time. Not speaking but just riding.

I stop us when we reach the halfway point between Midgar and Kalm. It's not that far and there's a little 24 hour gas station and convenience store.

"That's really fun." She laughs when we come to a stop.

"Yeah," I smile, "You want something to drink?"

"Sure,"

We wander around the almost deserted store for a little bit and purchase some drinks. Then go outside and sit on the little wall. It's silent for a few moments then I realize she's staring at me.

"What?" I ask.

"How do you get your hair to stick up like that? It never did when you were little." She gives me a puzzled little smile.

"Are you sure you just don't remember?" I joke. "You didn't even recognize me."

"Neither did you." She punches me on the arm. Not hard enough to hurt but enough to make me waver a bit.

"Fair," I take a drink then stare off in the distance. "Scars."

"What?"

"My hair sticks up because of scars. Never go into battle without a helmet."

She's silent for a moment. "Sorry."

"No it's okay," I shrug. "It was before the war. I spent six months in Cosmo Canyon on Monster Patrol." Before the war the military mostly sent out patrols to keep the local dangerous creatures down. "They've got these nasty little creatures called the Gi that breed like rabbits. I got overconfident and a couple of them got the drop on me. Apparently they think blonde hair is a trophy."

She laughs a little and gives me a funny look. "I'm not sure I believe you." She stands up and grabs my head, parting the hair. I almost choke, I'm not used to people touching me. She inspects it for a minute then let's go. "Okay fine you're right."

"Told you," I smile smugly.

"Is Zack the same way?"

I can't help laughing at this. "No, he spends two hours a day and a hundred dollars a month on hair gel."

She laughs too. "I guess he's gotta keep up the image. I'm surprised he doesn't impale people with those spikes."

"I know it hurts like hell to get smacked in the eye with one." I shrug.

"And how would you know that?" She smirks at me.

"I drag his drunken ass home once a month." I shrug.

"I don't get why he drinks when he knows he's gonna get sick." She sighs. "I mean that's a side effect of Mako right?"

"One of the things." I shrug. "It affects everyone differently."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't need much sleep, my reflexes are a little faster than they would normally be, I build muscle faster than most people, and I can see better in the dark."

"You can see in the dark?" She raises an eyebrow.

"No, just better than most people."

"So are all soldiers like that?"

"No," I shake my head. "Zack has better reflexes and muscle building than me. And he can hear much better than I can. He can't see in the dark and he has to sleep all the time. That's why he passes out before getting sick when he drinks. I've met soldiers who can jump fifteen feet but can't hold their hands still to shoot a gun. That's an extreme case but the Mako Infusion isn't always useful."

"It sounds dangerous." She frowns.

"It can be, about 1 in 1000 die from it. That's why they only take volunteers."

"People die from it?"

"It's rare they have some fairly reliable tests but it happens occasionally."

"Does it hurt?" I look at her surprised. It's such a girly question; I wouldn't expect it from her. She's not a girly kind of girl. "I mean it sounds so nasty." She amends.

"At first yeah, like a bitch." I look away quickly before she can meet my eyes. "But afterward no. It goes away after a few days. It's a onetime injection."

"I wouldn't want to do it."

"Well it's not like you're going to join the military." I point out.

"I thought about it." She pulls a knee up and wraps her arms around it.

"Why?" I ask.

"It was after the Dao-Chao bombing. I had only been at college for a year and I didn't know what I was doing with my life. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I mean who wouldn't want to fight for freedom. I didn't mostly because I knew that I would end up being some officer's secretary or a nurse or some crap like that. If I'm going to fight I want to be able to actually fight. I don't want to get held back just because I'm female.Then I joined this protest group called AVALANCHE. They were really against the war. They thought they could change things by protesting. It was good for a while but... Well everyone knew that we were loosing the war. A lot of soldiers came through Nibelheim on their way to Midgar. I volunteered down at the hospital camp; saw a lot of bad things there." She shakes her head. "Then my father started getting sick and I had to quit college to take care of him. So it was totally out of the question."

"Why didn't you go back?" I ask.

"To college?" She looks up. "I don't know. I'm still not sure what I want to do, and I like where I am right now. I'm happy working the bar and taking care of Marlene. Why aren't you in college doesn't the military pay for it?"

I shake my head. "Only if you finish your tour of duty. I got dismissed about half a year before mine was up." I don't want to use the term dishonorable discharge. Then she would ask why. "I guess I just don't know what I want to do either. I'm not good at anything other than fiddling with cars and bikes."

"I'm sure you're good at plenty of things." She tries to tell me.

"No," I shake my head. "All I'm good for is fixing things and swinging a big sword."

"A sword?" She's laughing at me now.

"Infantry has to learn how to fight close quarters so I used a sword." It was only a rule in my unit.

"That's just plain weird." She grins at me.

I shrug and don't say anything. Maybe it's weird to her but I slept with that sword in Wutai.

We're silent for a while. Pre-dawn is starting to light the sky. I check the time, five thirty. Hell, I didn't realize it was this late.

I stand up. "We better get going. We've got about two and a half hours to get to Cid's."

"Okay," She shrugs and hops off the wall. "Is that enough time?"

I think for a moment. "I'm going to have to stop by my place on the way to the 7th Heaven but we should be okay."

She smirks. "Your place?" She puts her hands on her hips and looks at me. "Are you trying to get in my pants?"

What the hell, I haven't made a god damn move on her. "For fucks sake Tifa,"

She busts up laughing. Great, she's taunting me just to make fun of me. I really have to make sure we don't spend any more time alone. She doesn't confuse me like this when other people are around.

"I'm sorry," She gasps through her laughter. "I couldn't resist."

"Yeah sure." I mutter and walk towards my bike.

She follows me still sniggering but I don't talk to her.

We make it back to Midgar around seven. Just enough time to stop by my apartment then the 7th Heaven and get to Cid's. I just hope traffic isn't too bad in the city. Who am I kidding it's going to be horrible, everyone is going to work right now.

"You can come up if you want to. It should only take me a few minutes." I tell Tifa once we pull into the garage at my apartment. I'm a little hesitant to just let her up there. Like I've said before my apartment isn't nice. Not exactly the best way to impress a girl. But it's not safe for her to stand on the street and wait in this neighbor hood.

"Okay." She smiles.

I lead her out of the garage and up the stairs. "I'll warn you its pretty crappy."

"I'm sure it's not that bad."

"Yes it is."

It really is bad. The building is pretty old and starting to have problems. My apartment is only one room. The only thing separating my bedroom from the living room is the back of the couch. My bathroom is tiny. My kitchen doesn't have a dishwasher and the fridge is the little tiny thing from probably forty years ago. Everything is dingy. The carpet has holes and the paint is starting to flake off of the walls. I don't really care how it looks. I don't spend much time there anyway. I don't even have a TV. The only thing in there that I actually use is the bookshelf.

I lead her up the four flights and to the end of the hall. Once I open the door there's no turning back. I open it and turn on the light.

She stares for a minute then gives a half smile. "You're right it is crappy."

I shrug trying to pretend indifference. "Yeah, but it's cheap and I have a place to store my bike."

"Bathroom?" She asks. I point it out then start digging through the closet for my uniform.

I needed a racing name and after much deliberation and help from Zack I decided on The Wolf of War. I'm not thrilled about it but it's better than anything else we came up with. It also means I didn't have to buy racing clothes. I can use my old uniform; it's got enough protective padding to race in.

That may sound weird, especially as I hate the military so much but I like the uniform. It's not much different from what I usually wear. A dark blue sleeveless turtle neck and matching pants that are baggy at the knee but come in at the calf to allow free movement. Couple that with the large leather belt, padded suspenders, the shoulder guard and the gauntlet and I look like a soldier again.

She comes out of the bathroom and I trade places with her. It only takes a minute to get the shirt pants and suspenders on. It's strange to be in these again but comfortable. I felt naked for two months when I stopped wearing them. The top isn't quite as tight as it used to be but it's been two years so that's to be expected.

Tifa's examining my bookshelf when I come out.

I sit down on the edge of my bed and start wrapping my left forearm in gauze.

"What's that for?" She asks.

I gesture to the metal gauntlet sitting on my bed. "It's to protect my arm from that. It can take all the skin off my arm if I don't put some padding under it."

"Why do you wear it then?" She asks.

I cinch the gauntlet down and clip the shoulder guard on. "It's part of the uniform."

She must hear the warning in my voice because she turns back to the bookshelf. "I didn't know you read so much."

"It's an easy way to pass time." I shrug. I like to lose myself in books; sometimes it's easier to pretend I live in their world not ours.

"Hey, I love this book." She reaches up to try to grab a book on the top shelf. I almost laugh, she's too short. Even I have to stretch to put things on the top shelf.

"Which one?" I ask and pull my boots on.

"Knee Deep in Thunder." She puts her hands on her hips; frustrated that she can't reach it.

I stand up and walk over. "I didn't know anyone had read it but me. It's pretty old." I grab it and hand it to her.

"They had a copy at the Nibel Library. I use to read it all the time." She leafs through the book rapidly. "How did you find a copy?"

I shrug. "Junk shops in Junon. They have some really good stuff if you know where to go."

She stares down at the book for a minute then sadly hands it back to me.

"You can borrow it if you want to." I offer.

Her face lights up, "Really, thank you."

"Just don't destroy it," I rub the back of my neck. "It's one of my favorites." Man I really am a sucker. I don't loan out books, ever. I've had too many not come back.

She smiles. "I'll take really good care of it. I promise."

I fall into silence for a minute. Seriously I have got to stop hanging out with her alone. It's just getting too embarrassing.

"Are you all done?" She looks up at me.

"Yeah," I turn away from her abruptly and make a show of making sure I have everything I need. "Let's go."

We go back to my bike and take off. I spend a frenzied half an hour trying to dodge cars and pedestrians. Bloody stupid people, just because I'm on a bike doesn't mean I'm invincible. It seems like we've almost been hit a dozen times by the time I reach the 7th Heaven.

"That was crazy." Tifa sighs as she gets off the bike.

"I hate traffic." I growl and follow her. I'm not in a good mood anymore.

"Oh lighten up," She smiles as she goes up to the front door. "We made it out alive didn't we?"

I look at my phone. "We're gonna be late."

"I'm sure we'll be fine." She pats her pockets then frowns. "Damn."

"What?" I lean against one of the supports on the back porch.

"I left my keys upstairs last night." She sighs then a look of determination crosses her face.

She runs straight at me. I flinch and duck, expecting her to run into me but she doesn't. Instead she launches herself off the railing and catches the roof. Holy hell, I thought she was going to hit me. She manages to pull herself about halfway up then stops with a jerk. I just stare at the legs hanging in front of my face.

"Little help here?" She asks breathlessly.

"You sure you need it?"

"Just shut up and give me a boost."

I step forward and cup the bottom of her boots. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

I push up and she rolls onto the roof.

"I'll be back in a minute." She calls and I hear her scrambling up the roof.

I stand there dazed. What kind of girl does crazy stunts like that wearing a mini-skirt? I got a direct view up it when I gave her the boost. This is getting bad. She's a friend, just a friend. Stop torturing yourself. I grab the water bottle off my bike and down almost the whole thing. I need a cold shower. It's probably the sleep deprivation that's making this so bad. A look at a girl's panties doesn't normally make me feel out of control. This is ridiculous.

She exits through the front door a few minutes later. She's changed her clothes but like me she wears almost the same thing every day. The black miniskirt held to her white tank top with suspenders.

"Sorry," She gives me a shy smile. "Usually I wouldn't have a problem with that but all that riding made my legs sore."

I shake my head, glad that I'm mostly over the shock. "It's fine; I don't understand how you have the energy to do that."

She shrugs. "It's the insomnia. At first I'm exhausted but after a few days I just have too much energy to burn. I get really fidgety and anxious. That's why I asked you to take me for a ride. Sometimes I just take the truck and drive all night."

"How long has it been since you slept?" I ask her. I know what a week without sleep can be like, it makes you crazy.

She looks thoughtful. "I got a couple of hour's night before last."

"You're telling me you've been up for thirty six hours?" I frown.

She catches the look on my face and shakes her head. "Don't worry; I'll crash in a day or two." I don't stop frowning. She rolls her eyes. "Seriously, I'll be fine. It's been happening since middle school. Shouldn't we be going? We're going to be late." She reminds me.

I sigh, "Yeah." Cid's going to be all bitchy about me being late. "Let's go."

**So here's part seven. Just to warn everybody the actual race is still a couple of chapters away.**

**Mega thanks to everyone who said nice things about the first mention of Aerith. **

**MK4.Longfang do not be sorry for being critical. I need critics or I'll never get better. I really appreciate what you've had to say so far.**

**Song for this bit Feather in a Baseball Cap by Architecture in Helsinki.**

**Adore you all.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Oh my gawd," Yuffie's scream breaks the air as I finally pull into Cid's hanger. "Is that your bike? That's amazing."

I shrug, Yuffie thinks everything is amazing.

"You're late." Cid growls. He's right it's almost eight thirty.

"Sorry," Tifa smiles as she gets off my bike. "That's my fault."

I follow and walk with her over to the group. "Everyone this is Tifa. She's a friend."

"Friend, you don't have friends." Yuffie glares at me.

"Oh come on Yuffs," Zack throws an arm around her shoulders. "You didn't think you would be the only girl in his life forever now did you?"

"Eww gross." Yuffie dodges away from him. "I wouldn't touch either of you with a ten foot pole. You two are crazy."

"That's Yuffie," I tell Tifa ignoring them. "The older man is her father Godo, the one with the cigarette is Cid and she's Shera." I point them out to her.

"Hello," Shera walks forward and offers Tifa her hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too," Tifa smiles.

"Whatever." Cid snorts. "How's the bike runnin'?"

"Fine." I shrug.

"Good, I'll go look 'er over." Cid walks away.

"You ready for this?" Zack asks grinning.

I nod, "About as ready as I'll ever be."

"You think you can handle it?" he continues.

"Zack," Tifa punches him in the shoulder. "Are you trying to make him nervous?"

"Yep," He answers happily, "He always does better when he's nervous."

I shake my head. "I'll be fine."

"We should leave soon." Shera interjects. "We'll need to get you registered and set up the tent."

"Tent?" Tifa asks as we turn and walk to the three vehicles. Cid's truck, Zack's car, and my bike.

"It's hot out there and the race Cloud's in doesn't start until two." Shera explains. "We might be out there all day depending on how long he lasts."

"Don't touch that, Brat." Cid shouts.

I look up. Yuffie is crawling on my bike.

"But I wanna know what it does." She wails. My eyes focus on her finger, she has a knack for finding trouble. She's almost pushing the little switch that is my own design.

I open my mouth to stop her but I'm too late. "Duck!" I shout and run towards her.

Zack, and Cid hit the floor without hesitation. Cid brings Shera down with him. Yuffie jumps off the bike but trips on Godo taking them both down.

However the person directly in the way as the side panel of my bike pops open and my sword springs out is Tifa. She's only a few steps ahead of me. I put on a burst of speed and slam into her, just barely managing to catch her around the waist and catching my sword by the hilt as it flies through the air where her head was.

Everyone stares at me for a moment. I realize that I'm standing in full military uniform, holding a sword in one hand and a very pretty woman in the other. I let Tifa go, embarrassed.

"Fucking hell," Cid mumbles and starts to rise. "I thought it was a grenade."

"What the hell was that?" Yuffie jumps to her feet, bruising Godo in the process.

"That, Yuffs, was what happens when you fight in a war." Zack calls from the floor.

Tifa is staring at me. "Sorry," I mutter and stalk over to my bike, ramming the sword back in and closing the compartment.

"Cloud," Yuffie points a dramatic finger at me and glares. "Why do you have a button that launches a sword out of your bike?"

"Yuffie!" Godo yells something in Wutaian. I don't bother trying to figure it out. I already know why he's mad at her. She yells back and the yelling quickly turns to screaming.

Cid pulls Shera to her feet with more concern than I've ever seen him use outside of an engine. Zack groans as he stands up. Tifa is still staring at me.

I can't meet her eyes, even if it didn't cause that awkward silence again. It was stupid to bring my sword. I thought about leaving it at home today but with all the people who are going to be at the race I figured it would help to have it. Large groups of people have always made me nervous and now that I have PTSD it's better to be safe than sorry.

She walks over to me and puts her hand on my arm in a comforting sort of way. "If you ever do want to talk about it I'll be here to listen." That's all she says.

I cringe, I can't even talk about the bad parts with Zack and he was there. At least she's understanding about it. She's left the decision up to me.

The argument between Yuffie and Godo winds down. Yuffie stalks over to me.

"You never answered my question." She accuses.

I am saved by Zack. "Yuffs." He slings an arm around her shoulders and leads her away. "Remember when I told you how every time a car backfires I hide in my closet?"

"Yeah," She bats his arm off her shoulder and glares at him.

"It's something like that." He smiles and shrugs. "We can't explain it but we do it anyway."

I use the distraction to walk away from them. When Yuffie wants an answer she gets it and with the mood that little incident put me in I'm likely to bite her head off.

"Come on Bitches," Cid yells. "Lets go, the Race is waiting."

Everyone starts to get into the cars, I walk over to Tifa. "You can ride with Zack Yuffie and Godo or you can ride with me again." I tell her. I don't think Cid even has room for Shera in his truck with all the crap he's bringing.

"I'll ride with you." She smiles. "It's better than listening to screaming in another language again."

I smile a little. "You get used to it. It's better that you don't understand honestly."

"And you do?" She asks.

I grimace, me and my big fat mouth leading me into subjects involving the war. "A little, mostly the basics. Although Yuffie taught Zack and I all the inappropriate words she could think of."

"Like what?" She grins.

I shake my head. "Not telling, you'll have to ask her."

"Why not." She's still grinning.

"Nobody can throw insult's like the Wutaian." I say and walk towards my bike.

"Tell me." She follows.

"No,"

"Come on." She darts in front of me and gives me the puppy dog eyes. "Please?"

I sigh, "One of the more common one's translates to your mother betrayed your father with a Jayjujayme and you are the result." She looks confused. "Jayjujayme are these nasty worms that burrow inside the body and eat you from the inside out." I supply.

"Oh..." She pauses trying to figure it out.

"It's an implication that you survive of the leavings of others. It's more insulting in their culture, I guess it doesn't work as well in translation. But the worst are the ones to do with the Ancestors." I try again.

"The Ancestors?"

"Yeah," I shrug and get on the bike. "In Wutai your ancestors determine how high you can rise in life. They're kind of like gods. Everything you do should be to honor the ancestors. That's why Yuffie and Godo fight so much. She thinks her ancestors are just a pile of moldy bodies."

"Sounds complicated." She follows.

"Ask Yuffie some time, she can explain better than I can."

The races are being held 30 miles outside of Edge. The bluffs that surround the two cities make a good wasteland. But instead of a long stretch of lifeless desert we are greeted by a thousand people and bikes.

It makes me nervous. I like the wastelands. They seem so dead until you learn how to spot the wildlife. Usually they are calming in an almost zen like way but not today. It's slightly disturbing to see that calm displaced by masses of people.

It's been at least five years since I last raced and then it was small two mile races in the plains outside of Junon. It was all small time, five to ten racers and maybe twenty people watching. Small bets and short tracks, we were all amateurs. I'm still not sure why Cid asked me, I'm a good rider and I've learned a lot in the last few years but these races are professional.

It takes us forty five minutes to reach the races and another twenty to find the spot Cid reserved for us. By that time we're all dying from the heat. The first thing we do is put up the tent.

Tent is a bad way to describe this thing. Really it's just a canopy that makes a little shade.

The second thing we do is raid the cooler with water in it. I'm starting to regret using my uniform for this. It's very hot and dry out here.

At that point Shera warns me that I need to register and I only have about twenty minutes to do so. I sigh and start trekking to the registration booth.

The people I pass give me weird looks. That's to be expected honestly. A lot of people her didn't approve of the war. They thought that we shouldn't get involved with another country's civil war.

I questioned the war but only until I got to Wutai. Once there I saw what was happening to the people. I saw the mass graves where the traditionalists were killed. I saw the children dying on the streets because no one could feed them. Once I saw the horrors it was hard to say that the war was a bad thing. It may have been the wrong way to go about it but there was no right way. Not when hundreds of people were dying each day.

People still tell stories about the atrocities of the war. Even now two years later. Some of them committed by our troops. Zack and I have been called every nasty name under the sun. Most of them don't even phase me anymore, it's just people being angry.

Besides, as much as I hate the military it's kind of nice to be in uniform again. It's familiar and feels safer than regular clothes. There's a certain amount of respect and confidence you get from it. It tells people that you know what you're doing.

I get the paperwork and start to fill it out. Cid told me that I should compete in all five of the motorcycle races. It's going to wear me out but I think I'll manage. He set up all the stuff that needed to be done before hand but I had to be here for the actual registration.

The woman behind the table looks everything over and stares at me for a second. Then she questions every single item I filled out like I can't be trusted to write my own name. She glares at me through the whole questioning but I just give her the answers in my bland unfeeling voice. That's something I learned, never try to justify yourself to the people who hate you just because of the war. Nothing you say will change their mind. I developed the bland tone because they usually don't ask questions or make accusations if they think you are a cold blooded bastard.

"You are aware that the race is a combat race right?" She asks still glaring.

I nod. No I wasn't but I'm not going to tell her that.

"Okay, You're all set as the Wolf of War." She shuffles the paperwork and hands me about half. "Here's the rules. An inspector will be around to double check your motorcycle."

I give her another nod and head back to our tent. What the hell is a combat race? I leaf hurriedly through the papers to find it.

Combat Race - A ten mile race where the racers are allowed to carry one weapon of their own choosing. The racers are allowed to attack other racers and to fight in their own fashion. No rules apply.

Holy shit, I'm really in over my head here.

I storm back to the tent to find only Zack laying on the ground.

"Where is everybody?" I stalk over to my bike and flip the switch. I can't have my sword in the races other than the combat race.

He barely opens his eyes. I suppose he's still tired and sick from last night. "Tifa, Yuffie and Godo went to get some food. Cid went chasing after some new machine and Shera went chasing off after him."

I catch my sword as it pops out of the casing then reach behind it and pull out the sheath.

"You really should have left that thing at home." He grimaces and sits up.

"Well it's a good thing I didn't." I grunt and toss him the paperwork. "Look at the last race."

He leafs through the pages for a moment then reads as I check on my sword. I haven't really been taking care of it lately. I just hope it's still as sharp as it used to be. I strip off a glove and test the edge. It slices open my finger. Yeah, it's still sharp.

"Fucking Shit!" Zack splutters. "Who the hell thought this was a good idea."

"I don't know," I shake my head. "But I intend to talk to Cid about it when he gets back."

"You going to do it?" He asks.

"I'm already registered." I growl. This isn't okay.

"Fuck man," He sighs and rubs his shoulder. "You think you still got it?"

"I sure as hell hope so." I can feel my lips settle in a grim line. "Here" I throw the scabbard at him. "Test me."

"Seriously, right now?" He raises an eyebrow at me. "I don't know if I still have it either."

"Just help me." I glare at him.

"Alright," He sighs and stands up.

I'm so rarely actually angry that he knows better than to ignore me. Sure I get uncomfortable and harsh when people bring up the war but anger isn't something that happens to me anymore. It was there for most of my child hood but I've learned to let it go in the last two years. Still this feels more than just a little fucked up.

We walk a few paces away from the tent and take our stances.

"Just don't forget I don't have a real sword." Zack grins.

I attack, I'm not using full force but It's enough that he has to react. He blocks and slides the scabbard away. I reverse in a back cut. He manages to dodge and tries an overhead cut. I roll out of the way and take a swipe at his legs. I'm not stupid, I'm using the blunt edge but it could easily break a bone. He jumps it easily though. He's always been better than me. I've been keeping in practice for the last two years and he hasn't so maybe we're on par now.

He makes a thrust and I almost loose my balance blocking but I recover. I slash at him again. We've gathered an audience by now. Strangers from the nearby tents are slowly gathering around. Jesus I hate being watched.

He blocks another one of my swipes and kicks out to hook my foot. I jump back. We go to circle for a moment but are interrupted by clapping. I lower my sword and look in that direction.

"Quite an interesting display." A fat man in a suit takes a few steps forward still clapping. He's surrounded by some tough looking thugs and a few steps away is a skinny guy with long black hair and a red jacket. I don't get how they can be dressed like that in this heat.

"Blow it out you're ass, Palmer." Cid steps past the crowd on the other side of our little circle.

"Are these yours Highwind? Which one is racing, the Chocobo or the Porcupine?" Palmer smirks. Zack and I both stiffen. I hate being called a Chocobo.

"What do you want fat man?" Zack steps forward. In all fairness Zack's hair does look like a porcupine but don't ever say that to his face.

"So how are you going to pay me when you loose?" Palmer ignores Zack and looks at Cid.

Cid gives him a cocky grin around his cigarette. "I just hope your ready to loose my ship."

"It's not yours and it never will be, Highwind." Palmer glares, his composure of gloating business man gone.

"The bloody thing is named after me." Cid laughs.

"Not anymore." Palmer almost sounds like a petulant child now.

"Just because you slapped some paint on it doesn't mean the registration has changed." Cid smirks.

I can see sweat droplets rolling down Palmer's forehead. "It doesn't matter, you won't win." He gestures to the man with the long black hair. "Valentine could beat anybody here with his eyes closed."

"Yeah," Cid snorts still grinning. "We'll just see about that."

"You'll learn, Highwind." He turns around and stalks away.

The man Vincent steps up to me. "You'll be in the combat race?" His voice is quiet and I realize his eyes are crimson red. Not comfortable red like Tifa's but glaring almost cold red.

"Yes," I nod.

His lips twitch as if to smile. "I'll be looking forward to facing off against you." Then he turns and disappears into the crowd.

I shake my head. Are all these people crazy.

Cid grins. "You're pretty good kid."

I glare at him and grab the scabbard from Zack, sheathing my sword and slinging it over my shoulder. Then I stalk back to our canopy. I'm still pissed.

"Um, Shera," I can hear Zack comment. "You might want to leave them alone for a minute."

As soon as we have relative privacy I whirl on Cid. "A fucking Combat Race? Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"Ya didn't know?" He grins.

"No you never bloody well told me." I'm raging, I know it. I try to take a calm breath.

Cid gives me one of those almost tolerant frowns. "I figured you knew when you rigged that spring for your sword. Why would you do that if not for a combat race?"

I am so angry I feel like my head is going to explode. I'm actually going to have to say it. "I did that," I growl. "Because I'm a fucking Wutai Vet with PTSD that has to travel across this bloody monster infested planet on a god damn motorcycle." By the end I'm shouting.

Cid grins again. "Whoops." Zack is behind him making frantic gestures for me to shut up. Shera looks pale. All three of them are looking behind me. Oh hell, don't tell me. I turn around. Yep, Godo, Yuffie, and Tifa are standing behind me staring.

Tifa's stare is definitely the worst. Her eyes are full of pity. It's one thing for her to have seen the signs of all this but for me to say it out loud is a whole new problem.

"I suppose this isn't the best time to tell you," Cid chuckles, "But my bet isn't just for this one race. It's for a whole year."

I turn away from them and walk off. I can't face this right now. I storm through the makeshift streets of the racing camp glaring at anyone I can see. People scatter in front of me. I suppose I would too if I saw a pissed off guy in military dress with a five and a half foot sword strapped to his back stalking towards me. I don't care right now.

Cid should have told me. I've been at his workshop almost every day for a month, he had plenty of chances.

Okay so he should have told me but I shouldn't be so angry about it. It would make sense that he assumed that I knew, especially since he watched me put the damned sword on my bike. And honestly I'm not likely to win so his bet is pretty much lost. So who cares if it's for the next year.

And maybe shouting that stuff in front of Tifa wasn't that bad. She already knows all of that, I've just never said it. I mostly just regret her seeing me angry. She's never unhappy so I don't like showing anything but happiness to her. Well at least what serves as being happy for me. I'll be the first to admit that I almost never show any emotion. But for some reason it's easy to be happy and use my little smile around her.

I guess I should go back. I turn around, at least I wasn't so out of it that I don't know the way back.

Everyone is sitting and talking when I get back. They glance up but don't say anything as I grab a chair and move it across the tent. I'm still angry but not that angry. After a few minutes Tifa brings some food over to me.

"You okay?" She asks cocking her head.

"I'm fine." I say and take the proffered sandwich.

She looks down. I don't need to push her away.

"I'm just frustrated." I try again.

"Sorry," She gives me a shy smile.

I shake my head. "It's not you're fault."

"No, I mean... you must be tired after last night." She pauses and then her face goes brilliant red. Yeah if anyone but us heard that it would sound pretty bad.

I look around hurriedly. Zack is looking at us with a giant grin but it appears he's the only one who heard.

"Oh god," She whispers and hides her face in her hands. "Did they hear?"

"I think Zack did but I can set him straight." I try to comfort her. Truth is he probably won't believe me if I tell him we just rode around on my bike for four hours.

"Thank god," She sighs. "I uh... I'm gonna go now." She rushes off.

Yeah, that's a wonderful reminder. She really doesn't want anybody to get the wrong idea about us. Is the idea of being mistaken as my date really that bad. I have to smile a little though. She's really cute when she's all flustered like that.

"So..." Zack pulls his chair up next to me. "Late night?" I hate that grin of his.

"Not what you think." I say and take a bite of the sandwich.

"Hey," He feigns innocence. "I didn't say anything."

I glare at him. Seriously, the last thing I need to do is explain myself to him. "Nothing happened. We're just friends."

"Come on, obviously something did otherwise she wouldn't say that." He spreads his hands in a shrug.

"Ok fine," I put the sandwich down and look at him. "After dragging your drunk, emo ass home I had to walk back to the bar for my bike. Tifa wasn't tired so I took her for a ride on my bike. We talked for a while then came to Cid's. Nothing happened."

"Emo," He looks surprised. Good I thought that would distract him.

"Oh yeah," I wave a hand. "Aerith this, Aerith that. I heard so much about that girl I might as damn well know her."

His face blanches a little. "I talked about her?"

"Even told me how you bought her flowers." I pick my sandwich back up. That should keep him busy for a while.

He sits in silence while I finish eating. That's what he gets for being a prick.

We spend the next two hours waiting. The inspectors come by and prod my bike for a few minutes but don't find anything wrong with it. They did say that I would be banned if my sword was on it in any other race than the combat one.

I spend most of those two hours brooding. I'm still angry. I mean it's one thing to for Cid to ask for my help. It's quite another to talk me into something without actually telling me what it is. He may have never said anything because of an honest mistake but we're talking about live combat here. No rules apply so I'm sure everyone will have nasty tricks up their sleeves.

I'm not saying I wouldn't compete if Cid had told me. The idea is interesting and I'm practically set up for it to begin with. I have a weapon and I survived three years in Wutai. If that doesn't qualify I don't know what does.

The thing is if Cid had told me I would have been able to train. Get back up to speed on my sword lessons, maybe get some practice in on my bike. The monster killing I do when I'm on deliveries is hardly more than hack and slash. It doesn't really require the finesse you need when you fight another person. Basically I'm screwed.

Things start to get active as the race approaches. The people in the tents around us start to move. I'm dreading the race, I can feel all my muscled tense up until I feel like I'm made of wire. The feeling is reminiscent of my days in Wutai. You learn to live wound up so tight you know you're going to break.

I do a quick double check on my bike to keep myself busy. This waiting is getting to me. I hate waiting. I just want to get this whole ordeal over and done with. Then I can go back to not talking to people. Being antisocial has it's benefits, namely you don't get conned into doing stupid things for your friends.

Zack finally strolls over about ten minutes before I have to take my bike to the starting line.

"You all set?" He grins. I swear nothing phases Zack, I mean seriously I could die out there and he wouldn't bat a freaking eye. Even telling him he got emo about a girl only stopped him for a few minutes.

"As much as I can be." I shrug.

"You feeling alright." He lowers his voice and glances over at everyone else.

"I'm fine." I frown at him.

"You sure," His voice is actually worried. "This wouldn't be a good time to have an episode."

I cringe, there's our terminology. An attack is PTSD, an episode is my body shutting down. "Zack." I warn him.

"I know, I know, I just don't want to have to drag your ass to the hospital." He whispers.

I glare at him. He knows that I have no control over when it happens. I can't even tell when it's going to happen.

"Alright fine." He sighs. "Good luck, you're gonna need it."

"Yeah, thanks." I mutter and turn away from him. Is it everyone's goal to make me angry today? Seriously he didn't need to bring that up. I would rather just forget about it.

Zack leaves but Cid is making his way toward me. Great, what is this? Are they all lined up to come and bug me one by one?

"Hey kid," He squints at me. "Listen I wouldn't have asked you to do this if I didn't think you could handle it."

I don't say anything. How the hell would he know if I could handle it or not. He's known me all of two months.

"I thought you knew... " He pauses then shakes his head. "Don't worry about it you'll do fine."

I guess that's the closest thing I'm gonna get to an apology. Cid's not really the type to apologize. "Sure,"

He grins and slaps my back. I wish he would stop doing that. "We'll be rootin' for ya." Then he walks off.

Okay so who's next? Who's going to come over and make some deranged statement that makes me uncomfortable. Let's see, judging by the pattern, Yuffie.

"Hey," She shrieks in my ear. "You ready to get you're butt kicked?"

Bloody hell, does she have to be so loud? "Yeah," I say blandly.

"What? That's it, that's all you're going to say?" She rolls her eyes at me. "You have got to loosen up."

Loosen up, I'm about to compete in a race that allows weapons. I'm going to get massacred.

"Anyway," She grins, "We'll all be watching so don't get beat up too bad. I don't really want to see blood today." She skips off. Sometimes I hate that girl.

"Hey," Tifa's voice is quiet behind me.

I turn and look at her. She still looks embarrassed. She hasn't said one word to me since the whole last night thing. Admitted I've been avoiding everyone since I found out about the race.

"I just wanted to wish you good luck." She doesn't look at me.

"Thanks," I shrug. It's the only thing I've said in the last two hours where I didn't use my bland voice.

She darts forward and lightly brushes my cheek with her lips. "Go get them." She whispers then walks off.

I stand there and blink, that was unexpected. I got a good luck kiss from Tifa. The corner of my mouth rises a little. That was actually pretty nice.

I shake my head and get on my bike. Shera offers me a thumbs up and Godo makes a honorable bow.

I kick start my bike and wave at them as I pull away. I guess having friends isn't all that bad. At least they support me.

**Mwahaha! I'm mean to Cloud but it's fun.**

**Ok so here's the deal. Next chapter is the race. I've got it written but I'm not happy with it. Like really not happy so it might take a little longer to update than I normally do. Also I have less than a week to finish an online class that I haven't started. Yes I am very lazy and I keep putting my schoolwork off to write. I will try really hard to have it up by monday but I honestly can't promise anything. I'm really sorry if this bugs you guys but I don't really have a choice and I'm not going to post something I'm not happy with.**

**Anyway I really hope you guys like this chapter. Enjoy and pretty please review.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay so it's three thirty am on tuesday morning but I haven't slept yet so it still counts as monday. I kept my word, right?**

**Just a quick disclaimer before you all read this. I know jack shit about bikes or racing. I did research but I can't guarantee it's correct. If you find a problem with anything just let me know and I'll try to fix it but please be kind. I worked my ass off on this chapter and it was HARD.**

Chapter 9

The start and finish line is hardly more than a groove in the dust. The only other indication I'm in the right place as I wheel my bike up is the large checkered flags at either end. I don't really get it, this is a fully sponsored race and it looks like a child put it together.

I went through all the papers again while I was waiting for the race to start. There wasn't much information. No rules apply, that means as soon as the flag drops it's a free-for-all. The first person to reach the finish line wins, that's it, that's all you have to do. The track circles the bluff but isn't set in stone. As long as we pass the check points we can go pretty much anywhere.

I glance at the other racers. There are about fiffteen of us but more are trailing up. I don't see that Valentine guy either. Most of the racers are already fingering their weapons. I can see quite a few firearms. I hope I'm not the only one here with a short range weapon. That could give all of them a nasty edge on me.

The guy next to me looks over, "Where's your weapon?"

I don't bother to look at him but my mouth curves into a smirk. My sword is concealed in it's compartment. Seriously, I'm screwed enough as it is. I'm not going to pull it out and show it to everyone until I have to.

"Don't you have one?" He asks gruffly. He's already holding a pistol and has some nasty looking spikes all over his bike. I'm not impressed by his tough biker demeanor.

I turn my cold blank stare on him; sometimes Mako is a good thing. Like I've said it scares people. He meets my eyes for a second then hurriedly looks away. Good, I'm not here to get questioned by some greasy biker.

Most of the other racers arrive and we all get positioned along the line. Valentine is several people away from me but he doesn't even give me a glance a I view the other racers. They're mostly composed of people like the biker next to me. People who think that appearance has something to do with talent. There's one woman with curly red hair though. Her bike is small and looks like it's designed more for speed than endurance.

A cheering comes from the crowd and the final racer pulls up. A blonde guy dressed all in white with the most expensive looking bike I have ever seen in my life. It must have cost a freaking fortune. The whole thing is top of the line equipment. The guy waves at the crowd and I can hear girls shrieking. What the hell, it's like he's a celebrity or something.

The announcer starts speaking but the speakers are pointed at the crowd. They echo back at me as a deep booming that turns his words into gibberish. I'm not bothering to listen though it's nothing important.

I can feel the Mako rising in my blood. This is the part of Mako I didn't tell Tifa about. The part where I'm affected by it more than most people. When my adrenalin rises I'm three times stronger and faster than I should be. I get a slight boost constantly but with adrenalin I could do just about anything. I love this feeling, this feeling that tells me I could take out an entire platoon on my own. It has it's price but I love it. It's just like everything else I got in the war. Half good, Half bad.

The other racers start revving their engines in anticipation. I lean down and grasp the handlebars waiting for the sign to start. A blonde woman in a revealing red dress is standing on a little platform off to one side of the track. She's got a small checkered flag in one hand so she's probably the person who's giving the start signal. Sure enough all the racers are watching her with hungry eyes.

I can feel the tension humming in the air as we all wait. It's almost palatable. My muscles are taunt and hard all over my body. I've been trying not to show it but I'm nervous about this. I mean really I have no idea what this race is going to be like. I've been thrown into this with no knowledge about it.

The blonde raises the flag with a sneer and looks to the announcer. She drops it without looking back at us. It catches everyone off guard and there's almost a second of hesitation before we all take off. My wheel spins for a second then I jump into the air, my bike shooting forward across the line. I push for full speed, trying to get as much distance on the other racers as possible.

It's less than ten seconds before I hear the first shot. The other racers are already starting to fight. I lean down on my bike and try to present as small a target as possible. Somehow I was one of the first off the line.

I glance back. A few of the racers have already gone crashing to an end but there are several who like me are just going for speed at the moment.

There are only three people in front of me. Valentine in the lead, then some punk with a green mohawk and behind him the greasy biker that was next to me. They're all taking a straight path through the center of the beaten down dust road. I'm hanging back and a little off to the side of the other racers. I want to see what they can do before I challenge them.

Green Mohawk is catching up to Valentine, it's not a smart move. I can hear the whining of his engine, he's pushing it too far. He levels a revolver at Valentine and takes aim. Valentine moves so fast it's a blur and Green Mohawk's bike comes crashing my way. I dodge it and veer to the center of the road. I guess that's why everyone's riding in the center. Less chance of getting hit by a crashing bike.

Damn, I didn't even see what Valentine did. He's fast, really fast. I didn't even see what he used. I'm going to have to wait until someone else goes up against him and try to get a good look at what he does.

I stay in my position for a good stretch. It would be utterly stupid to challenge anyone right now. I need more information before I go up against these guys.

It isn't until we round the corner of the bluff that the Greasy Biker makes a move. He guns it and advances on Valentine in a rush. His pistol already raised. Valentine glances back and points a long barreled gun over his shoulder. Okay he's using a gun, surprise surprise. Am I the only one here who doesn't have a gun?

Valentine fires two shots but the Greasy Biker dodges. I have to dodge them too. Hell, his gun has good range. The next bullet hits the Greasy Biker's front tire and his bike flips into the air while he goes flying. Shit! The bike is coming right for me. I slam on the brakes an pull my bike into a sideways slide, almost laying flat on the ground. I close my eyes and pray, this is dangerous. I can feel the bike as it passes over me; god I hope it doesn't fall. It works; I slide right under the flying bike and right myself.

That little display means I'm the closest person to Valentine. Although it slowed me down enough that I'm a ways behind him. I'm going to have to pull my sword out soon. I start to strategize. Valentine has speed and range on me. What do I have on him? Strength probably, a better bike certainly, but those aren't much use if I can't get close enough to use them. So I need to get close to him. If I can get right next to him then I can block his gun and use my sword.

I take a quick glance over my shoulder. The competition is a fair ways behind me but they're catching up. Four people fighting between themselves. Another Greasy Biker, the red headed woman, the stupid celebrity in white and a skinny guy one a blue bike. I'm pretty far ahead of them but if they decide to rush me I may be in trouble. I'm going to have to keep an eye on them.

I return my gaze to Valentine. I'm sure he's got something else up his sleeve. That gun looks like a custom job. If I can rig my sword to spring out of my bike then he can certainly have something nasty in that gun. He didn't blink an eye when he took either of those guys our. He's confident that he can handle this.

So once I get close to him I'll have the advantage but getting close without getting shot is going to be hard. Right now my best option is to just bide my time and keep my eyes peeled for something that will help me get close.

I do just that. Stay about where I am and just wait for a chance to make my move. The group behind me has been weaned down to the celebrity and the red headed girl. They don't seem to be fighting with each other much. Maybe their just pushing for speed over strength.

I concentrate on the road ahead looking for something that will give me an advantage. The track is leading off the flatlands and into a canyon up ahead. Maybe I'll find something there. The start of the canyon is supposed to be the halfway point; I'm running out of time.

I catch a glance of movement off to my right and automatically veer off the the side. The blast of a shotgun from the guy in white just barely misses me. Hell, that was close. I need to pay more attention to my back. I spend a few seconds weaving my way through some rocks then I'm back on the track.

The guy in white comes up next to me and levels his shotgun at me. I flip the switch and grab my sword before it goes more than an inch. The momentum shoots my arm back but that's what I was counting on. WIth a little twist of my wrist the flat wedge of metal comes up to protect me as he fires. I duck and apply the brakes a little and shoot back from him just enough to avoid a second blast.

I'm less than a foot off his tire. That's it, get his tire. I raise my sword and take a swing.

The woman comes up on me faster than I thought possible. One second I'm swinging at his bike the next my sword is stopped by a large shruiken. I hesitate for a moment. I could overpower her easily but I don't hit girls. The hesitation costs me. She's got another shuriken in her hand and is aiming for my head.

Fuck, I veer away a little and dodge out of her reach. She gives me a slim little smile and flicks her wrist. Shit, she can throw them? I swat the weapon out of the air with my sword and edge closer to her. She's down a weapon now.

She sees me coming and steers away from me in a flash. Her bike must have really good handling for her to move that fast. I hear another shot and manage to dodge the guy in white's blast again.

Alright, no more playing nice. I'm annoyed now, I don't like people ganging up on me. I'm going to have to take the woman first. She's too fast and she seems to be protecting the guy in white. I won't be able to get close to him with her in the way.

I advance on the guy in white again and take a swing. She darts back towards us but I was expecting this. I turn my swing into a slash down and catch the front part of her bike. My sword slices through her front bumper and into her wheel before I jerk it out. Her bike flips forward in it's crash but she fluidly backflips off of it. My bike races away, leaving her standing in the dust.

I smile to myself and gun the engine to catch up to the man in white. He's not very far ahead, but we're getting closer to the canyon. It's just in front of us.

I catch a glimpse of his face as he looks back over his shoulder. He's frowning as if annoyed. I pull up next to him and he points his shotgun at me again. I casually knock it out of his hand and scrape the side of his bike with my sword. My blow don't do anything but surface damage to his bike but it sends him veering off to the side. He has to put both hands on the handle bars and slam on the breaks to avoid running into the rock wall at the entrance.

That will slow him down but he might have a chance of catching up. He may have the best equipment money can buy but he's not a very good rider. I would have been able to get out of that with only a small loss in speed.

I race into the canyon and put on an extra burst of speed. I can't see Valentine ahead of me but I can hear his engine echoing off the walls. Damn, I lost time messing around with the woman. I'm going to have to push it to catch up.

I open my throttle all the way and concentrate on the road ahead. Valentine's engine is getting louder so I'm catching up. The rock walls flash past as I fly through the canyon as fast as I dare. I catch sight of him and then something else that makes me smile. There is a small offshoot track to the left. It seems to go up and then along the rock wall for a while. That's it, that's what I need to get ahead of him.

I ramp up it and keep my speed as fast as I can. There's probably a good reason he didn't take this but I don't care. The Mako rushing through my system has made me foolhardy and I don't plan to be on it for long. He sees me and takes a few pot shots but his line of sight isn't that good so none of them hit me. I'm already pulling level with him, good. Now I just need an easy way off the path.

There it is, the path takes a sharp turn away from the track up ahead. I open my throttle all the way and speed up as much as I can. I grin lights my face; I'm not taking the turn.

My bike hits the bump of the lip of the path and shoots into the air. Jesus, I can't believe I'm crazy enough to do this, I must be fifteen feet above the track.

I feel the bottom drop out of my stomach and question my sanity. Am I really risking my life like this for a stupid race? But it's too late to think that now. I'm already arching over the track. A shower of bullets spatters across the bottom of my bike. One half of my brain is screaming in terror but the Mako half just laughs.

My bike lands with a bone jarring thump and the front tire swerves out of control. I grip the handle bar with one hand and muscle the front tire straight. The other hand is holding my sword over my back to protect it from Valentine's bullets.

The landing slows me down a little but not much. I brings me neck and neck with Valentine. He takes aim but I don't give him the chance. He has to plaster himself to the bike to duck the flat edge of my sword flying at him. We're both trying to speed up but with only one hand each there is only so much we can do.

I take another slash at him but he blocks it with his gun. Seriously he blocks my eighty pound sword with his freaking gun and it doesn't even leave a scratch. Bloody custom jobs.

Hell, I don't know what to do. We trade a few blows but nothing gets through. He can block me with his gun and I won't give him a chance to fire. I'm holding back a little but that's because I don't want to kill him. I'm not here to kill anybody. The canyon is opening up. If we get out in the open he can get away from me. I can't give him that chance. Distance between us means he can shoot again.

I may have warned everyone that I had little chance of winning this race but now I want to. I want to win. What do I have to do?

I keep him busy with a few more blows, he blocks them all but really I'm just trying to keep him busy so he won't have time to pull away. I'm going to have to so something drastic; I can see the tent village of the racing grounds in the distance. I don't have much time.

He raises his gun again but I don't bother blocking it. Instead I bring my sword down in one long slash that crumples the side paneling of his bike. He fires and tries to jerk away but my sword has already run the length of his bike. It caves in his front bumper and the front tire turns towards me. Shit, I miscalculated.

His bike crashes into mine and sends us veering off to the side completely out of control. God Fucking Damn IT! How did I not see this coming, how could I be this stupid. We're both going to crash at this rate.

I slam on the breaks as hard as I can, if I don't slow down I'm going to hit dirt, hard. He seems to be doing the same.

We're in sight of the finish line now. I can hear another bike coming. Damn, damn, damn, damn. I wrestle with my bike as we slow down, trying to get away from Valentine. It's not working and we're still drifting off track.

All right, that is it. I unlock my foot and kick off of Valentine's bike while opening the throttle. It's just enough of a boost to push me away from his bike and stop our skidding. But just as I do it the man in white speeds past us. I'll never catch up. I need to regain speed and he's already going at full tilt.

I try anyway. I'm gaining on the man in white but it's not enough and I can hear Valentine coming up right behind me. FUCK!

The man in white crosses the finish line less than a second before I do. He stole the victory right out from under me while I was messing around with Valentine.

I pull to a stop a ways after the finish line. I can feel my heart pounding, this is stupid. I should have won. If I hadn't misjudged the reaction of Valentine's bike I would have. I take a few breaths and try to calm down. Its okay, I did pretty good for someone who hasn't raced in five years and has never done a race like this. It doesn't work, I'm livid. It would be one thing if I had just lost but it's another thing to have it stolen.

"Cloud!" An shout rings out and I look up. Yuffie is running helter skelter at me with everyone else trailing behind. "That was awesome." She squeals.

I quickly compose myself and then wave at them.

"Ohmygawd, that jump was amazing." Yuffie bubbles coming to a halt next to me.

"You saw that?" I ask.

"Oh yeah, It got put on the big screen." Her eyes are wide. "And that fight with that yummy black haired racer. He's so hawt."

Everyone else comes walking up casually. I groan, I didn't think the race was being recorded. They must have had cameras on us the whole time. I'm sure everyone saw my crazy stunts.

"I guess you still got it." Zack grins.

I shrug and stand up. "Yeah I guess so."

"Beaut job kid." Cid slaps me on the back.

"I didn't win." I give him a puzzled look.

"No, but ya beat Palmer's guy." He grins, "That's all the bet was for. I'm one step closer to gettin' my baby back."

Wait, I didn't have to win the race just beat Valentine? Hell, I've really got to remember to make Cid explain things before I agree to do them. Not that beating Valentine was easy.

The microphone pops on with a buzz. "Could the Playboy, the Wolf of War, and Chaos please come to the announcer's stand. I repeat... Playboy, Wolf of War, and Chaos please come to the announcer's stand."

"Oh that's you." Yuffie jumps. "You better go get you're trophy."

I flinch. I don't want a trophy. That means I have to get up in front of all these people and be watched by them.

"Go on." Zack smirks. "You came in second." He knows how much I hate being in front of people.

I glance up at Tifa. She hasn't said a word. She meets my eyes and gives me a big smile. We're far enough away that I can't drown in them but I feel self conscious and awkward. "Go ahead, we'll be waiting." She says softly.

I sigh and turn towards the announcer's stand. This sucks. I hate this kind of thing. I don't care if I won I just want to go home. I trudge up the steps to the announcers platform.

Valentine and the man in white are already there. So is the woman with red hair but she's off to the side.

"Everyone," the announcer turns to the crowd. "We have the winners up here. In third place Chaos." He raises a hand over Valentine's head, cheers erupt from the crowd. "In second place we have the Wolf of War." The crowd cheers halfheartedly but I can see Yuffie screaming and jumping and I hear Cid shout something that sounds like 'Suck it Palmer.' "And in first the Playboy." The announcer roars.

The crowd screams intermixed boos and cheers. Whoever this guy is people either love him or hate him. He gives a bad fake smile and waves. The announcer keeps talking. Something about first prize and promoting next weekend's races. Apparently they only hold Combat Races four times a year but the regular races keep going.

Valentine turns to me, his face is totally blank. "Are you competing in the Fall?"

I hesitate.

The bloody Playboy gives me a smug smirk. "He's probably afraid to eat my dust again." He turns and walks away as I feel a growl rise in my throat.

"Yeah, I'll be here." I tell Valentine. I wasn't planning on it but I can't let that pretty boy think that he's won.

"Next time I won't hold back." Valentine says blankly and leaves the platform. Yeah hold back, right. Shit I'm going to have to practice. I was just going to walk away and tell Cid that he needed to find another racer but now I can't. Valentine is claiming that he was holding back and Playboy needs to learn a lesson about stealing victories.

I ignore the announcer who is totally confused as to why the racers are leaving the podium and make my way back to everyone. Cid's on his back looking at the underside of my Bike. Godo, Shera and Zack are having some kind of discussion. Yuffie has disappeared as usual. The only person who seems to notice that I've returned is Tifa.

"Hey," She gives me a smile.

"Hey," I rub the back of my neck. I don't know what to say to her. I mean she gave me a good luck kiss and then watched me do some crazy stunts. I don't know if I would have taken that jump if I had known she was going to see it.

"So..." She crosses her arms and smirks at me. "You only learned a little bit of fighting?"

What? Oh... the conversation last night. "Yeah," I shrug. I'm so glad my face doesn't give my thoughts away. She purses her lips and flips her hair back from her face. Why does she have to be so attractive.

"I believe that was an understatement." She crosses her arms and stares at me.

I don't know what to say, I mean I was just trying to avoid talking about the war. What can I say, I don't like fighting? That's not true. When I'm not fighting for my life I love fighting. It's a challenge. Zack and I sparred all the time when we weren't on patrol in Wutai.

She glares for a few minutes then laughs. "Cloud, you take everything too seriously. You were really good out there."

I relax, she's just teasing me. I wish I knew why she gets a kick out of making me uncomfortable. "Thanks." I mumble.

"No really," She stops laughing and smiles at me. "I was really impressed."

I don't say anything, I already said thanks. What else is there to say.

"Hey kid," Cid yells from under my bike. "You better come look at this."

"What is it?" I walk over to him and ask.

"One of those bullets hit you're exhaust pipe." He grimaces and sits up.

Not good, I could drive it but getting it back to the city would be difficult. I crouch down and peer under my bike. A neat circular puncture runs right through one of my exhaust pipes. That must have cost me a lot of speed. I wonder, would I have been able to beat the Playboy if that hadn't happened?

"I got the parts to fix it." Cid shrugs wiping his hands on a grease rag. "But it's gonna take a few hours."

"You sure?" I ask turning towards him.

He squints at me for a moment. "You gonna keep racing for me?"

I hesitate for a moment, then answer. "Yeah, I've got a score to settle."

"Good," He slaps my back and walks back to my bike. "I get it fixed then. Bring it over to the tent."

Cid and I wheel my bike back to our tent and everyone follows.

"You did pretty good for an amateur." Zack jokes as we walk.

"How much did you guys get to see?" I ask him.

"Most of it." He shrugs and grins. "The jump and the battle with the guy in red. The cameras were pretty good."

"What's with the guy who took first?"

"Huh?" He gives me a surprised look then shakes his head. "You need to get out more. That's Rufus Shinra, the son of the president of the Shinra Electric Company. Everyone knows who he is. He's the celebrity you love to hate."

I stop and stare at him. "Rufus Shinra?" I've heard the name but I've never seen him before this.

"Yeah," Zack grins again. "He's just like his racing name, a playboy."

I shake my head. "What about the woman?"

"What woman?" He frowns.

"Small, red curly hair, I got the impression she was protecting Shinra." I shrug.

Zack goes pale and stops. "Pretty with brown eyes?" He asks desperately.

"Yeah," I frown at him. "Used two shruiken."

"Oh god," He makes a dramatic gesture. "She's one of Shinra's bodyguards. Calls herself Cissnei." His face is still pale but he starts walking again.

I smile a little and look at him. "Is that bad?"

"We've got some history." He mumbles.

I laugh to myself as we get back to the tent. Cid goes to his truck and starts rummaging around in the mess of parts and tools. I try to help him but he waves me away.

"I got it kid. You've done enough for today. Go bug someone else." He growls at me.

"It's my bike Cid." I state.

"What are you deaf?" He glares. "I'm trying to be nice for once in my fucking life and you're being a dumbass."

"Alright, fine." I surrender and walk away.

"What should we do?" Yuffie pops up and makes Shera and Tifa jump.

"Well," Shera says nervously holding a hand to her heart. "There's another race in an hour; or there's the company tents. We could go see what new equipment they have."

Zack throws an arm over her shoulder. "Let's just wander around and look for a while." He grins.

We all agree and wander off. I know Cid will take care of my bike and some time to relax would be nice.

We explore the tent city and watch a few races. I'm tired but this is actually enjoyable. Tifa, Shera and Yuffie all seem to be getting along well and Zack, Godo and I always have things to talk about. Before I know it the sun is setting and Cid is calling me to say that my bike is fixed.

It's nearly nine when I get Tifa back to the 7th Heaven. It's been a long day, two days. Does a day count if you haven't slept. I don't know. I'm dead tired, seriously. After being up all last night and the race every bone in my body hurts. I can't wait to get home and into bed.

I pull to a stop around the back of the club. There aren't many cars in the parking lot. They must be having a slow night. I let go of the handle bars and massage my hands. After all that sword work they are stiff as hell. Just because I build muscle faster than most people doesn't mean I don't get sore.

Tifa hasn't moved. She's got her arms wrapped around my waist and her head rested against my back. I glance over my shoulder, her eyes are closed. Did she really fall asleep while I was driving. Jesus, she's lucky she didn't fall off.

"Tifa," I shake my shoulder gently. "Tifa, wake up." She frowns but doesn't open her eyes.

I sigh and unclasp her hands from my waist. I really hope she wakes up soon. I turn as far as I can on the bike and hold her up as I lift my leg over the other side.

"Tifa, come on. You're home." I try again.

"Hmm?" She asks then blinks her eyes a little.

"You're home. You need to go to bed." I try again.

"Oh," She mutters and her eyes start to close again. Then they snap open and she sits up. "Oh, wow, I didn't even notice." She looks up at me.

Our eyes meet. It's dark enough out that I can't see the red in hers but I stare all the same. We stare at each other neither of us speaking. Man she's gorgeous. It's so hard not to notice. So hard not to stare.

She shakes her head after a second and looks away. "Sorry."

"It's okay," I shrug and let go of her. She can stay up on her own now.

She gets off the bike and yawns. "I must have been really tired to pass out like that. I don't even remember getting into Midgar."

"You're lucky you didn't fall off." I point out.

"Yeah," She gives a little smile then turns back to me. "Thanks for keeping me entertained last night. I had a really good time."

"Anytime." I shrug. Why did I say that. This whole time I've been telling myself that I shouldn't hang out with her alone. I must be really tired.

"I'm going to go crash." She gives me a little wave and walks away. "See you later."

"Later." I wave back and start my bike.

Man, what a day. I can't wait to get home and go to bed. Thank god I don't have to work tomorrow. I'm glad I had the foresight to ask for it off.

I start the engine on my bike again and head for home.

**There we go, it's done. I'm going back to my every other day update schedule now.**

**Thanks to everyone who was understanding about the delay. I have almost finished my class. I probably got more work done in the last few days than I have since high school. I feel brain fried but I still got this out.**

**Anyway I have a few people I want to thank just because they have lots of nice words for me. typical, TheMagicalTapeworm, Sacred3, and Shari Joy Rose. You're nice words are just what I needed to get through this stupidly hard chapter.**

**Song for this bit - The Past is a Grotesque Animal by Of Montreal**

**Thanks everybody. Please let me know what you think of this chapter so I can tell my self doubt to suck it.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I wake up in the hospital. Hell, not again. It's been a week since the race.

The last thing I remember is dropping my delivery slips off at the office. Shit, I'll bet it was Wedge who called an ambulance. He still panics every time this happens.

I sit up and look blearily around. It's mid-afternoon and no one is in the room with me. I'm sure Zack is around here somewhere. He's my emergency contact at every hospital between here and Junon. I keep telling him that he doesn't need to come down when this happens but he comes anyway.

Jesus this sucks. There's an IV in my arm and several wires running off my body. More machines that usual too. That's not good news.

I look under the horrible hospital robe. No cuts or stitches. Good, I didn't need surgery so it wasn't that bad. I sigh and reach for the clipboard at the end of my bed. I'm probably one of the only non medical people who can read one of these things. I had my doctor, Gast, teach me because it always takes them too long to tell me what went wrong with my body.

Blah blah blah, Mako Poisoning, blah blah blah, third crash this year. I flip through the pages. Between the injuries I've gotten in the war and these crashes my medical file is two inches thick. I find the report for this incident and read over it. Minor liver failure, heart stopped beating, no apparent brain damage. That's good at least. I glance at the date; I've lost two days.

The door opens and Zack walks in. "Hey man, you're awake."

"Yeah," I shrug. "What happened this time?"

"Apparently you collapsed right in front of your bosses office." He grins a little. "I guess they panicked and called the ambulance. I didn't get here until after they stabilized you. They had to use those zapper things again."

Zapper things? Oh... he means a defibrillator**.** "I died?" I ask not blinking.

"Yeah," He shrugs. "How many times does that make it now?"

"Six or seven." I answer

He laughs. To any one else our attitude about this might seem strange. I collapsed in the middle of work, legally died, and neither of us are freaking out. That would be enough to make anyone panic but I shrug it off and Zack laughs. We know that acting serious about it will just make it worse.

I stand up and start to strip the monitoring wires off. I don't need a doctor to do it. I've been here so many times that I already know how.

"Man, shouldn't you wait?" He groans.

"Why? I'm fine." I shrug.

"Yeah but after last time?" He grins.

Last time the nurses panicked. To them all my life signs suddenly went blank so they were convinced I was dying. It took Zack and I half an hour to convince them that I was fine.

"Is Gast here?" I ask.

"Yeah," He shrugs. "Should I go get him?"

"Yeah," I look around, "And have someone bring my clothes."

He grins. "Feeling a little drafty around the nether regions?"

"Just go get him." I sigh.

He laughs and walks out the door. I leaf through the file again but I'm not really paying attention to it. I've learned to live with randomly waking up in the hospital but it still sucks. If I had known what this would have been like when I volunteered for the Mako injection I never would have done it.

They warned me. They put my blood through the tests like they did for everyone else who volunteered. It turns out that I'm three steps away from the 1 in 1000 that will die from Mako. They told me that I had a good chance of getting Mako Poisoning but at eighteen I thought I was invincible. I still volunteered and guess what, I got Mako poisoning.

Then I had no choice but to stay with the military. They love Mako Poisoning. They just adore it.

Here's what happens. You decide to join the military. You go through the two hellish months of boot-camp and three months of secondary training. Then they give you the Mako infusion. It is optional for most people but anyone in infantry has to have it and you happen to be infantry.

So you go to the infusion lab. They stick you with all kinds of needles and test you're blood. Then they come back and tell you something. You have a chance of getting Mako Poisoning. They tell you it's your choice to go through with the infusion or not but they offer all these great benefits. The kind that make you think it might be worth it. They say 'now god forbid it actually happens but if it does we'll give you a promotion, a raise and pay you're hospital bills for life.' They're very good at making you think that there is no choice. So you say yes.

You sign the papers get the infusion done and, like I told Tifa, you are in hellish pain for a few days. Once that passes you feel fine though. No pain, no soreness, no bad reactions. In fact you feel better than you did before the infusion.

You become fascinated by the abilities the Mako gives you. You spend whole nights marveling at how it can be almost pitch black in you're room but you can still see everything. Or at how you can train on a weapon and be good with it after only one week. Everything is amazing and you wonder why you ever hesitated to choose the infusion.

Then things go wrong. One minute you're out with you're buddies picking up on some girls and the next you're waking up in a hospital room. You don't know why you're there. You feel fine, better than fine. Nothing could possibly be wrong with you when you feel as good as you do.

They come in and tell you something. You have Mako Poisoning. There's nothing you can do about it. It's a permanent and incurable affliction. For the rest of you're life you'll just randomly collapse. You're body will shut down with no definable pattern as to why. Everything inside of you will just stop working and there's a chance that it will never start again.

So you're life is essentially over. How can you live a real life when you might die at any moment. And suffice to say you're still in the military. You are still subject to their orders and their rules. So you go ahead and do what they tell you knowing that someday you won't wake up in the hospital. Someday you won't wake up at all.

Sounds like a pretty shitty deal doesn't it. Why would the military love something like this? Why would they want troops that could drop dead on a battle field? Why would the want troops who spend days in the hospital for no good reason? Because of the other side of Mako poisoning.

The other side, the good one, is that you are more sensitive to Mako. It boosts you more than it does anyone else. You have super strength, super speed, and that coupled with the fact that you might die at any time gives you a tendency to be a little careless with your life. So you rush into battle screaming and take out half a platoon on you're own. That's why the military just falls over itself drooling over people with Mako poisoning.

That's how it goes. I have a twenty percent chance of dying every time this happens. I have died, legally. So far I've been lucky, every time I've died someone has been around to call the ambulance. But one day I won't be lucky, one day I won't have the paramedics to rely one. I've got a tenuous life and the end could come at any time.

Zack is the one who looks after me. Years after the war and he's still taking care of me like I'm some little kid. It's Zack who calls me every morning and every night to make sure I'm not lying in an alley somewhere. It's Zack who's in the hospital every time I wake up. It's Zack who watches me like a hawk trying to find some early warning system (which doesn't exist).

For a long time Zack tried to convince me to live with him so he would be around when I have an attack. I won't. I like my independence. I don't like to admit that this has influence on how I live my life. I'm not willing to make concessions for it. I figure it's better to drop dead than to live my life in fear of some bullshit manmade disease.

"Afternoon Cloud," Dr. Gast walks into my room. He was part of the scientific team that discovered Mako and saw the first person to get Mako Poisoning. So he became a specialist and makes his living treating every case in Midgar and Edge.

"Hey," I nod at him. "How have you been."

"Not so good." He takes the clipboard from my hand. "And you?"

"Same as always." I shrug. "What happened?"

"We lost Kaiser." He frowns.

Damn, Kaiser was the oldest of us. He was the one who gave us all hope. Fifty five and still kicking. He'd lived with Mako Poisoning for twenty years. I've never met the eight other cases here in Midgar but we all know each other's names. Gast calls each us in every six months or so to do tests.

I shake my head, "How long ago?"

"Two months." He sighs. "It's too bad. I really thought he was going to make it."

I don't say anything.

"How are you feeling?" He asks looking up.

"Same as always." I shrug.

He grabs a tongue depressor. "Open you're mouth." He put's the piece of wood on my tongue and presses down. "What do you remember?"

I hate how doctors always ask questions when they are preventing you from answering. I wait until he removes the thing and shrug. "I was dropping something off at work and then I woke up here."

"That's all?" He reaches for his flashlight.

"A little of the ceiling but that's it." I flinch as he brings the pinpoint of light up to my eye then let him look.

"No more than usual then?" He asks.

"No." I blink as he moves to the other eye.

"Have you been active?" He frowns at me. "Your Mako ring is larger than normal."

"I was in the Combat Race at the desert races a week ago." I answer.

He frowns and scribbles on my chart. You would think that the adrenalin rush would have something to do with the collapses but it doesn't. One week ago I used the super strength of Mako but it wouldn't matter if it had been a week or a month.

"How did you feel after the race?" He moves his flashlight to my ears.

"Tired but fine." I tell him.

"Tired?"

"I was awake for thirty plus hours before the race."

"Nothing strange?"

"No." I shake my head.

He frowns for a minute looking at the door. "Where is that girl?"

"The nurse?" I ask

"Yes," He shakes his head. "I thought she was right behind me."

I smile a little. "Zack's here."

His eyebrows come together in anger. Zack and Dr. Gast aren't exactly on the best terms. He stalks over to the door and shouts out it. "Mr. Fair, stop distracting my nurses."

It takes a minute but the nurse finally shows up. Her face is bright red and Zack follows her in the door rubbing the back of his neck and grinning.

Gast glares for a moment then turns to the nurse. "Go get Mr. Strife's things." He tells her coldly. As soon as she's left the room he turns to Zack. "If you must flirt with my nurses I insist you do it when they are off the clock."

Zack shrugs. I roll my eyes at him. "I thought you already had someone to chase?" I ask.

He grins again. "Just keeping my hand in practice."

Gast continues to glare.

My check up finishes and the nurse comes back with my clothing. About damn time. I hate these Hospital robes.

"You seem to be fine." Gast sighs.

"I always am," I take my clothes. "Thanks Doc."

He gives me a half smile. "I've got someone who may have some new information coming in a few months so we'll be doing basic checkups then."

"New information?" I ask surprised. I thought Gast was the only authority on Mako Poisoning

He shrugs. "I've been trying to talk him into coming for a few years now. He's finally agreed, he may be able to help."

I give him a look. I don't want to get my hopes up.

"It's a long shot." He tells me shaking his head. "But I believe it's worth it. I'll call you when it happens."

"Alright," I shake his hand and go to change.

It takes five minutes to change and check myself out. The nurses give me these sympathetic looks but I ignore them. I hate pity.

"Tifa called me looking for you." Zack says quietly as we leave the hospital. "She was pretty worried." Shit, I promised I would come by the bar last night.

"What did you tell her?" I ask freezing.

He shrugs. "Just that you got busy and would call her when you could."

Thank god. Let's get something straight right here. I wasn't looking for anything more than a date when I first hit on Tifa I have a pretty strict no relationships rule after Jessie. It's just not fair to whoever I date. I also avoid making new friends. The more people who know about my Mako Poisoning the worse it gets. I hate telling people about it because they react badly. Then they treat me like I'm made of freaking glass.

People in my life who know that I have Mako Poisoning: My boss, about half of my coworkers because they've seen me collapse, Zack, and Godo. That's it. I haven't told Tifa because I don't want her pity.

"What are you going to say" Zack stops walking and looks at me.

"I don't know." I shake my head.

"You're not going to tell her are you." It's a statement. He crosses his arms and glares at me.

"No," I ignore his glare and keep walking.

"Why." He reaches out and grabs my arm. For a guy who has almost no morals when it comes to girls he's way to pushy about this.

I glare at him but don't answer. We stand glaring in the hall until a nurse pushing a rack of food asks us to move.

Zack drops my arm and turns away. "Fine, I'll give you a ride to you're bike."

I don't say anything until we get to the car. "We're just friends; she doesn't need to know."

He snorts. "And you think that will make it better when she finds out? Look how well that worked with Jessie. You can't hide it forever."

I glare. Okay so yes that was the last straw with Jessie. She dumped me as soon as she found out. I knew it was coming before that but apparently she just couldn't stand the fact that I might drop dead.

"Listen I'm just saying that if you two get involved she needs to know." He shrugs and starts the car.

"We're not getting involved." I look away. "She just want's to be friends."

He laughs. "You are one oblivious bastard."

What? I think I would be able to see the signs if she was interested. I did see the signs and they stopped as soon as she remembered me. Besides we've got a good friendship and I'm not going to act if I can't deliver a relationship. She deserves better than that.

"You going to see her tonight?" He asks after a minute.

"Yeah," I need to apologize for not showing up last night.

"Good I think I figured out a way to get Aerith to go on a date with me. I want to run it by both of you first." He grins. This does not bode well.

"It's not some crazy stunt is it?" I ask. When Zack gets desperate he does some stupid things. "I don't want to see a repeat of Tammy."

"No," He shakes his head but the grin is still there. "It's nothing like that."

I sit back in the seat and stare out the window. "Good."

-

"Hey," Tifa gives me a bright smile as I walk into the 7th Heaven.

"Hey," I wave and sit down at the bar. Thank god it's a slow night. I don't think I could deal with people right now.

"What happened? I thought you were going to come by last night?" She leans on the bar in front of me.

"Sorry, I had to make an emergency run to Junon." I lie. I don't want to say anything about the hospital.

"You could have called." She frowns a little. "I was worried about you."

"Forgot my charger." I make up hastily.

The frown doesn't leave her face, it's as if she doesn't believe me. It's true, it doesn't really make sense. If that were the case then Zack could have simply told her what happened.

"Alright," She sighs apparently dropping the subject. "You want a drink?"

"Just water." I shake my head.

There is an awkward moment after she grabs me a glass of water. It's going to be one of those nights. Sometimes we just can't find anything to talk about. It will get awkward and have these strange silences. We'll try to find something to talk about until it gets too uncomfortable and I decide to leave.

She taps her fingers on the bar. "So... how was Junon?"

"Same as always." I shrug. Ok, that wasn't brilliant. I should at least give her a decent answer. Great, I have no idea what's happening there. Think fast Cloud. "The monsters are getting worse though." I amend. That much is true but it's true everywhere.

"Still?" She frowns. "What about the Monster Patrols?"

"With what soldiers?" I shake my head. "No one wants to join the military anymore."

"Still Midgar to Junon is a popular road."

"But the monsters are weak around here." I point out. "They're concentrating on the more dangerous areas, like outside Mideel or Icicle Inn. They protect the cities but there's not enough troops to cover the plains."

"I guess you're right." She sighs. "The military is really screwed isn't it?"

I nod. They are screwed. After General Heidegger got taken down things really went to shit. I only met the man once but he was a bloodthirsty son of a bitch. He hid a lot of things that happened during the war but once he was gone it all became public knowledge. That was less than a month after we retreated from Wutai. The people went ballistic when they found out the actual casualties of our troops.The new Commander in Chief of the military is absolutely clueless. He let the information get completely out of control. By the time things calmed down the military had a nasty reputation so no one want's to join anymore.

Heidegger may have been a bastard but he knew how to run the bloody thing. This new guy has no freaking clue. They'll probably recover in another five years but for now they're screwed. I honestly wouldn't care if the whole thing fell apart but we do need the Monster Patrols so I suppose they're serving a purpose.

"What about the reserves?" TIfa asks.

"Most of them got called into Wutai." I shrug. "All that's left are the lifers and the people who are finishing their tour of duty."

"How do you know all this?" She asks me.

"Zack has a few buddies at the local recruitment office." I shrug.

She shakes her head. "I don't get him."

"What Zack?" I ask surprised.

"Yeah," She waves a hand. "I mean he knows all these people and they all like him but get him around a girl and he becomes a total player."

I give a small smile. "He's a good guy as long as he's not around a pretty girl."

"He's a good guy around me." She glares. "Are you implying I'm not pretty?"

"Oh come on Tifa," I groan, I really hope she doesn't have a thing for him. He'll just break her heart. "You know you're gorgeous." Did that just come out of my mouth? Shit.

She stares for a moment. I look away and this giant pit of silence opens between us. Bloody hell, that was embarrassing. How can I salvage this?

I can't think of anything to say and apparently neither can she. After a minute she walks away and starts washing glasses. Damn, why did I have to go say that. I shake my head and stare down at the bar. Maybe I can go find a hole to hide in.

"Buddy," Zack slaps my back and sits down next to me.

"Hey Zack." I sigh and look at him. He's got a grin a mile wide, bastard. If it had been him who said Tifa was pretty she would have gotten all flustered and pleased. Instead it was me and she just stopped talking to me.

"What's got you so down?" He asks frowning.

I shake my head. "Nothing."

"Did you tell her?" He leans in and whispers conspiratorially.

"Zack" I growl.

"Alright fine I'll leave you alone." He shrugs and grins again. "But not until you and Tifa hear my plan."

I roll my eyes at him. "Whatever."

"Tifa," He stands up and calls. "Come here. I want your opinion on something."

She smiles at him and comes back over to us. "What is it?"

"I've got a plan to get Aerith to go out on a date with me."

"Is this the flower girl?" Tifa puts one hand on her hip and gives a half smile.

"Yeah," His eyes light up. That's a bad sign, Zack only gets that look in his eyes when he's going to do something drastic. "She keeps denying me dates because she doesn't trust me."

"I would say that's fair." Tifa remarks.

He shakes his head and waves his hands. "That's besides the point. I have a plan."

"Oh god," I groan and put a hand over my eyes.

"Are plans that bad?" Tifa turns to me.

"Yes." I say.

"Oh come on." Zack pretends to be affronted. "It's a good plan."

"Yeah?" I sigh. "That's what you said that time we locked ourselves in the P.O.W. cells, and when we had to travel from Rocket Town to Junon on foot, and last year when you tried to get me a job with your company."

"It all worked out, didn't it?" He grins.

"If you call being forcibly ejected from the building working out." I mutter.

Tifa's been giggling through this whole exchange. At least she's not so uncomfortable that she can't laugh at us.

"Whatever," He waves a hand dramatically. "Still I have a plan."

"Are you ever going to enlighten us as to what this plan is?" Tifa raises an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah," He grins. "She doesn't trust me right?"

We both nod.

"So I get someone to come with us. Then she won't be alone with me." He grins proudly.

"But who?" Tifa asks. "It's not like she knows anyone you would bring."

"Well it has to be a girl. She'll trust a girl more." He's building up to something bad, I can tell.

"But then won't it look like you're trying to date both of them?" She points out.

"Ah but I'll bring a guy too. Make it a double date."

Oh god no. He's not going to do what I think he is.

"Who would you take?" Tifa asks. No don't prompt him, you'll only make it worse.

"Well," I see the evil come into his grin. "I was thinking of asking you two."

He did it. He actually did it. Damn you Zack. Brilliant, bring two people who can't even talk at the moment on a date with this girl you really like.

"What me and Cloud?" Tifa almost takes a step back.

"Yeah," Zack grins. "You're the only girl I know that I haven't dated besides Yuffie and he's so quiet he won't be a threat." He points to me.

Jesus, this is going to be bad. I know TIfa's not going to take this well. I wonder if going to beat him up or yell at him.

She stares at him for a moment then shrugs. "Okay, I'll help you out."

Wait what? She's willing to go along with his plan. She's willing to go on a double date with me?

He grins and turns to me. "What do you say?"

"Yeah, sure." I shrug to hide my surprise. Tifa and I are going on a date. Holy shit, Tifa and I are going on a date! Even if it's just to help Zack out I get to go on a date with Tifa.

"Sweet." He claps his hand. "Now a drink to celebrate."

"You're not getting anything more than a Mako Special." Tifa warns him and points a finger. "I don't want you getting drunk here again."

"But I wanted a shot of whiskey." Zack pouts.

"Nuh-uh." Tifa shakes her head at him. "I've put a permanent ban on you and alcohol."

"That's not fair." He objects.

"Life's not fair, suck it up." She puts her hands on her hips. I know that stance, that's her stubborn stance. There's nothing he'll be able to say to change her mind. It's very reminiscent of when she use to yell at me in middle school.

He opens his mouth to object but she gives him a sharp look. "Okay," He sighs dejectedly. "A Mako Special then."

She smiles triumphantly and turns to mix his drink. I can't help smiling a little at that. If it where any other girl he would have gotten his alcohol. I'm glad she can resist his charms.

"Damn," He mutters and sits on the stool next to me.

"So when were you planning on doing this?" I ask.

"I don't know yet. It kinda depends on you guys." He takes his drink from Tifa.

"I won't have a night off until next week." She shrugs. "But if you let me know what night I can request it off."

"Any big trips planned?" Zack turns to me.

I shake my head. "Not right now but if something comes up I'll have to go."

"You do to much at that job." He sighs. "Seriously, tell me you at least get paid overtime for this stuff."

"Nope." I take a sip of water. "I get paid for milage and number of deliveries."

"That's it?" Tifa looks surprised.

"Pretty much, they call it independent contracting." I shrug. It's not a great deal but it works for me.

"That's pretty sucky." She sympathizes.

"Yeah," I agree. "But it's easy and I do get paid for gas." ...and my boss is one of the only people in town who will hire someone with Mako Poisoning.

"Seriously you need another job." Zack shakes his head. "When's your next day off then?"

"Next Wednesday." I tell him.

"Can you get that off?" He turns to Tifa.

She frowns a little. "I don't know. We're supposed to be starting a karaoke night on Wednesdays soon but I don't know when. I'll ask tomorrow."

"Alright," He grins and finishes his drink in one gulp. "Call me when you find out."

"I will." She nods then scuttles away as someone else comes up to the bar.

Zack turns to me and grins. "Told you it was a good plan."

"That's a good plan?" I question.

"Yep." He says happily. "Now I just have to figure out what we're gonna do."

"You don't know?" I stare.

"I hadn't gotten that far yet." He grins. "Don't worry I'll figure it out. It's gotta be something special."

I groan. "You realize that I don't have much money to spend." I point out.

"I'll cover it." He waves a hand. Zack is very generous with his money.

"No," I glare at him. I don't want to let him pay for this. I don't want Tifa to think that I'm willing to just let him pay for things because I'm cheap.

Zack stares at me for a moment then shakes his head. "Yeah, alright. I'll make sure you can afford it. I should be simple anyway. Nothing fancy." He frowns and slaps his money down on the bar. "Anyway, I'm out of here. I'll see you later."

"Later." I wave and watch him walk away. Damn, this plan of his could be good but it could be a disaster too.

I shake my head and stand up. I should get out of here too. I don't want any more awkward silences between me and Tifa. It'll be better if I just leave now.

"Tifa," I call out to her. "I'll see you later."

She frowns at me but waves. "Later."

* * *

**Wow! I got to chapter 10. This is so rad. I am very happy.**

**I'm really glad you all liked the race. I was very nervous about it but I feel better now because everyone was so nice.**

**So yes, this is another chapter that is mean to Cloud. I debated about giving him Mako Poisoning for a long time but if you think about it everything bad happens to Cloud.**

**Melody-ruin I'm so glad you like my story. I'm not the kind of person who expects people to review every chapter but the occasional one here and there is very much appreciated.**

**xoSuNShiNe.AnGeLxo I'm happy to have you reading and enjoying. I have self doubt because this is pretty much the first times I've ever put my writing up for other people to read. **

**Also thanks to all my regular reviewers for being mega sweet. I.e. MK4.Longfang, TheMagicalTapeworm, Eledin, and Fairheartstrife. You guys are what keeps me going.**

**Song for this bit - The CN Tower Belongs to the Dead by Final Fantasy (not a soundtrack, there actually is a band called Final Fantasy that has nothing to do with the games)**

**Once again thank you all. Reviews are like a warm fuzzy addiction and I crave them.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Tifa calls me a few days later at almost three in the morning. True to her word she did crash just after the race. Apparently she slept eight hours a night for five or six days then stopped again. She took me to my word and calls me any night she can't sleep. We keep it to phone calls, no more late night rides. I feel bad telling her I can't leave the house but it's a hell of a lot easier to talk to her over the phone. There are less awkward silences.

I'm laying on my bed reading a book when the phone goes off. I look at the caller ID then pick it up.

"Hey,"

"Hey," She says quietly.

"Couldn't sleep?" I ask

"Yeah," She sighs. "I haven't gotten to the fidgety stage yet though. I've just been tossing and turning for the last hour."

"That sucks." I say and put my book down.

"Meh... it does but sometimes it's kinda nice. It's like the only time where I just get to think and not do anything else."

"Then why are you calling?" I ask

"Thought too much."

"You thought too much?"

I can hear rustling over the phone. "Sometimes when I think I just start to worry about random things. Like what I have to do tomorrow or how busy I'm going to be. It makes me anxious so I need to be distracted. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah." I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling. "What are you worried about?"

"I don't know." She sigs again. "Mostly everyday bullshit. Barret's going out to Corel tomorrow and I'm going to be watching Marlene for a few days."

"How long is he going to be gone?"

"About a week. He should be getting back on Tuesday."

I whistle. That's a pretty long trip. "Why?"

"Shinra hired him as a consultant for the oil wells up there."

I frown. "Oil wells?" I know he's a roughneck but I can't imagine him working the rigs with only one arm.

"It's what he did before he lost his hand." She giggles a little. I swear she can read my mind sometimes. "I hear that he was one of the best until his accident."

"I guess I can see that." I admit. He's that kind of person. He's always cussing and using street slang.

"I don't know, they're offering him a lot of money for it." She sounds subdued.

"Is that bad?"

She's silent for a moment. "I'm just kinda worried about it."

"Why?" I ask.

"What if he doesn't need the bar anymore?" Her voice is small.

"Tifa," I sigh, "he's not going to shut down the bar. From what you say it's raking in money."

"But this is paying a lot more."

"Would it really be so bad?" I ask.

She doesn't say anything.

"With your references you could get a job anywhere and you've got lots of friends here." I remind her.

"Yeah," She sighs. "I guess... The thing is this is the first time I've felt at home since my dad died."

I don't answer that. She's lucky, I don't think I've ever felt at home. We're both silent for a minute.

"Listen," I finally say. "Barret cares about you. He wouldn't do anything without making sure you were taken care of first."

"You're right." She admits after a second. "I don't know, I guess I'm just being paranoid."

I smile to myself. If this is what happens when she gets paranoid then she'll be fine.

"Tell me a story." She demands.

"A story?" I ask doubtfully.

"Yeah, something to take my mind off of it."

"I don't know any stories." I tell her.

"Tell me... tell me about Zack's plans going wrong."

I groan, "Why?"

"I figure if I'm going to be a part of one then I should be prepared."

"I don't think that this one is going to be that much of a disaster." I say.

"Come on." She pleads. "I've been dying of curiosity. Start with the P.O.W. cells."

"Fine," I sigh. "Zack and I had just gotten back from a patrol where we didn't get a chance to sleep for almost a week. We were like zombies, totally out of it. So Zack talked me into skipping inspection so we could go take a nap. THe only place that we could actually sneak away to was the P.O.W. cells. There weren't any prisoners so no one was on duty down there. Zack, being the dumbass that he is shut the door behind us and it auto-locked. He thought it was the perfect excuse for missing inspection. So we slept for something like twelve hours but no one found us. It was another 24 hours before someone decided to check down there."

She laughs. "Okay, so how about traveling on foot."

I pause for a minute. That was when we were escorting Godo and Yuffie so it's not really mine to tell. I'll just have to leave them out of it. "We were traveling undercover from Rocket Town to the military base outside of Edge. We only had a little money so Zack thought it would be a good idea to hitchhike. Problem was no one want's to pick up two scruffy looking guys with weapons." The other problem was we were traveling with two obviously Wutaian people and everyone was paranoid of them during the war. "So we ended up walking almost the whole way to Junon."

"Isn't that dangerous?" She asks.

"Not as much as it is now. There were still Monster Patrols going around then." I sigh. "You're going to ask about me getting kicked out of Zack's company building aren't you."

"Yep." She sounds happy about that one.

"That one wasn't entirely his fault." I admit. It's kind of embarrassing. "He got me an interview and I figured it wouldn't hurt to try so I went in for it. I show up and answer all these questions about fighting, security protocol and weapons use. Then suddenly I'm getting escorted out by security. It turns out that some secretary screwed up and I was getting interviewed for a place in their daycare."

"Seriously?" She's laughing now.

"Yeah, I was giving answers like I never go anywhere without my sword and how you can't be sympathetic in a job like this. Apparently the guy interviewing me thought I was psychotic."

"That's hilarious." She's still laughing.

I smile to myself, I was livid when it happened but it's funny now. Eventually the whole thing got straitened out and the interviewer apologized to me. Still the situation was weird. "Yeah, it was pretty bad."

"You have no luck do you?" She asks.

"None at all." She has no idea how unlucky I really am.

"That's too bad. Everyone should have luck." She sighs.

"Meh..." I shift the phone to my other shoulder. "Do you have good luck?"

She giggles again. "It depends. I have amazing luck but only in really bad situations."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, if the truck breaks down or I get stranded somewhere I'll always just randomly stumble on an easy solution but I can't win a game for anything in the world."

"A game?"

"I loose to Marlene all the time." She sighs. "I could roll a pair of dice five times in a row and get snake eyes each time."

I give a little half laugh. "No one is that bad, it's almost impossible."

"I assure you it's true. I think I've beat Mar a total of twice this year and she loves board games. We play them all the time. Barret says the way to win at gambling is to do the opposite of what I say." She laughs and I actually join her.

Man, how long has it been since I laughed with someone. Too long. Zack and I get kicks by insulting each other but I rarely laugh when I'm out with him. This is why I like Tifa. She's almost always cheerful and even when she isn't it doesn't take much to get her to laugh again. I just wish we could talk like this in person.

We talk for a while, the kind of mindless random talk that you can only do with someone you're comfortable with. Before I know it dawn is lighting the sky, and my alarm is going off. It blares menacingly around the room and I make a dash to turn it off.

"What the hell is that?" She sounds farther away from the phone. She must be holding it away from her ear.

"Sorry," I say while franticly trying to find the off button. I don't know why but it's always hard to find. "It's my alarm." I finally find the button and jam it down.

She laughs. "That's pretty loud for an alarm. Heavy sleeper?"

"Not really," I sigh, "it doesn't go any quieter." I have it because it's one of the only alarms I could find that doesn't remind me of air raid sirens and alerts from Wutai. "I have to go."

She sighs. "Yeah, I figured. Thanks for talking to me."

"Sure," I really wish I didn't have to go to work right now. "Talk to you later."

"Bye." She hangs up.

Damn, stupid job. Stupid need for money. I was having a good time talking to her. I usually do. I sigh and run a hand through my hair. Another day of work with no sleep, it's going to be interesting.

I take a shower and eat a granola bar on my way to the garage. I don't want to go to work, I didn't want to get off the phone with Tifa. I'm always doing things I don't want to. Damn.

I make it to work right on time and walk through the door. Everyone is rushing around in a panic. The front desk is littered with delivery slips.

"Where the hell have you been!" Biggs rushes up to me almost frantic.

I give him a blank stare, what the hell is going on?

He grabs my arm and rushes me towards the office. "The boss has been trying to call you for the last two hours. The Shinra Electric Corporation called us late last night with a gigantic last minute order."

We pass through the hallway and into the storage room. Things are even worse in here. Packages are stacked against every wall. I can see Wedge completely surrounded by stacks of the small boxes. He's hurriedly sticking delivery slips to each box and working his way back. Effectively trapping him in the piles. My boss is standing in the middle of the floor shouting at everyone and no one at once. He turns and spots me.

"Cloud," He bellows and his face goes red in anger. "Where in the work manual does it say you can get away with not answering your phone!"

I just stand and give him my blank stare. He'll scream at me for twenty minutes then be pissed that I haven't spent that time working. It's not generally worth it to talk back to him but today I'll chance it.

"I couldn't hear it." I shrug.

His eyes narrow. "I don't pay you to ignore your phone."

I just cross my arms and stare at him. He hates this.

"I should just fire your ass on the spot." He glares back.

I don't say anything. He won't fire me; not with this big delivery going on.

"Mr. Coates." A cool voice calls from the office. "I'm sure that I can take my business elsewhere if your employees can't handle it."

A look of panic crosses his face for a second, then his plastic customer smile takes it's place. He turns to the office and opens his hands ingratiatingly. "Mr. Shinra, I assure you that my staff is more than capable of taking care of this order."

Wow, President Shinra is here? That's impressive, I can't understand why he would be taking care of something this trivial.

Mr. Shinra steps out of the office and my muscles tense in a instant. It's not President Shinra, it's his kid Rufus. The bloody fucking Playboy. His eyes meet mine. Damn, I've met the guy once and I already hate him.

"Mr. Shinra this is Cloud Strife," My boss steps forward and puts a hand on my shoulder. "He's one of my most reliable delivery boys."

Hell, I really wish this wasn't happening. I can see the delight in the victory stealing bastard's eyes; he's going to have fun with this. Yes I'm a god dammed delivery boy. Give me shit for it and I'll punch you in the face.

"Cloud's a Veteran, he has no problem going to monster infested areas." Coates continues as if he cant see us eyeing each other. I have no problem? What the hell, of course I have a problem. It's not like I enjoy getting ambushed by monsters.

I just give my bland look. I should have just stayed at home today. I never should have gotten off the phone with Tifa. It's going to be a bad day, I can see it already.

Rufus smirks, "The Wolf of War?" Everyone in sight stops working and looks at the three of us. Rufus smiling confidently, me glaring with my best bland face on and my boss looking bewildered between us.

"Playboy," I say after a second and nod my head.

I can hear whispers float around as all my co-workers take in what they just heard. Rufus and I glare for a few moments then he turns away from me as if he's brushing me off.

"Mr. Coates, I seem to remember something about papers that I need to sign?" He says with a smile.

"Oh yes," Coates nods and goes back into the office. The smarmy bastard gives me a satisfied look over his shoulder but follows.

The storage room is quiet for a minute as I stare at the door. Something about that guy just makes my blood boil.

"Alright everybody, back to work." Biggs finally breaks the silence.

I shake myself and go over to him. "What do I have?"

He sighs then holds a up stack of papers. "Hell, I don't even know yet. There are so many packages."

"What are these anyway?" I ask him trying to sound casual. I will not be angry just because Rufus is here.

"Gifts for the employees of Shinra." He sighs. "They go all over the city. It's gonna take more than one trip no matter where you go."

I shrug. "Just give me what you can."

He hands me a bunch of pages and points to a stack of boxes near the door. "Those ones go to the east district. I don't know how we're going to get this done today. The boss has put all other deliveries on hold."

I nod and go over the papers in my hand. It looks like I'm going to be making a lot of stops today. At least I'll make some decent money.

**Okay part eleven. Short chapter I know but the last three have been over 5000 words so I figure I've already made up for it. I know that this chapter may seem frivolous but I have a reason for it, really I do.**

**I've had a request or two for more Cloti fluff. I understand that you guys want to see it and trust me I have quite a bit planned but it's going to be a little while coming. This is a long, long story so I'm trying really hard to pace myself correctly. Just to give you an idea this is probably about a sixth of what I have planned, maybe less.**

**A big thank you and welcome to EpicPopcorn and DynastyWARRIORS. Epic I'm really glad you liked it and totally ecstatic that someone finally commented on the songs. Dynasty I'm glad you figured out you're password and I promise Aerith will be in the next chapter.**

**Super Duper thanks to all my regular reviewers, you know who you are. I love you guys.**

**Song for this bit - Peace Beneath the City by Iron & Wine**

**Thanks all. Reviews make me squeal.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I stare at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is still spiky but it's a little less unruly than normal. I've abandoned my normal clothes for a plain dark blue button up shirt and a pair of black slacks. Zack said this was semi casual. Does this count as semi-casual? I don't know. I sigh and leave the bathroom.

It's Wednesday night. In ten minutes Zack is going to pick me up then we're going to go get Tifa and Aerith for the double date. I'm nervous as hell. I don't know why I even bothered to dress up. It's not like Tifa's going to suddenly swoon at my feet just because I look a little nicer than normal.

I wander restlessly around my apartment. Let's see keys, phone, wallet; no not the phone. I'm leaving it here in case Mr. Coates decides to call me on some disastrous whim.

He's been giving me hell all week. Ever since that day Rufus Shinra decided to flood us with deliveries. Apparently not answering my phone is one of the worst sins I can commit. He already demanded I work tonight but I flat out told him no and that nothing would convince me otherwise. I wouldn't be surprised if he called anyway.

A knock sounds on my door and I groan. I'm not ready for this. I open it and Zack comes in with a grin.

"Hey man," He looks at me in the button up shirt and slacks. "Wow, you actually dressed up?"

I glare at him. He's one to talk, he's got his usual girl catching outfit on. The black short sleeve button up and slacks that he manages to pull off almost every night.

He laughs. "I didn't think I would ever get you to ditch your delivery stuff."

"I'm going to go change." I glare and turn to go to my closet.

"Man," He sighs. "You look fine, don't worry about it."

I turn back to him and continue to glare.

"Seriously, loosen up. It's just a date."

"Maybe to you." I mutter. Just a date may mean something to Zack but this is going to be my first date in a really long time. It's important to me.

"Relax, I've got it all planned out." He grins, "You all set?"

"Yeah," I shrug and walk out the door. "Where are we going?"

He follows me out and we walk down the hall. "The Mythrill Mine." I give him a puzzled look and he elaborates. "It's a neat little restaurant and jazz club in Edge."

"Jazz club?" I ask doubtfully. Edge huh, that means it's a classy place. Everything in Edge is classy.

"Gotta show that I'm cultured." He grins. "Aerith is a different kind of girl."

"Oh, so she's not a tramp." I say as we approach his car.

He glares at me over the roof. "Not every girl I date is a tramp."

I smile to myself and get into the car. It's nice to be the one giving shit for once. "Ok not all of them," I admit once he's in the car too. "Just ninety five percent."

"This one is different." He presses his lips together and starts the car.

He pulls out of the parking lot and heads towards the Seventh Heaven. I'm enjoying picking on Zack but I'm actually a little concerned about him. He doesn't get defensive over girls. But then there's never been a girl to refuse him this long before.

I spend the drive listening to stories about incompetent security guards. Zack can always make a story interesting and he sees a lot of weird things in his line of work.

"But seriously. He had the kid pinned to the ground for twenty minutes. It took me that long to convince him that the kid hadn't stolen anything." He finishes as we pull into the parking lot.

I shake my head and get out of the car. "I don't know how you can stand it. I would strangle some of the people you work with."

"It's not so bad, I get a laugh out of it." He shrugs and we walk in the bar.

It isn't packed inside but there are quite a few people here. Zack and I make our way to the bar.

"Hey boys." Johnny says with a smirk. "Don't you two look handsome."

I cringe a little. Don't get me wrong, I don't care what sex he's attracted to but please, please make him stop hitting on me. He hasn't been as direct about it since I told him I was straight but it still makes me uncomfortable.

"Tifa's upstairs getting ready." He grins. "She should be down soon."

"How are you doing?" Zack asks friendly as always.

"Oh you know." Johnny waves a hand in the air. "Same as always, still can't get a date."

"Really?" Zack asks surprised. "I wouldn't think it would be hard for you."

Good lord this is awkward. I'm standing in the middle of a conversation in which my womanizing best friend is talking to a gay man about getting a date.

"Oh, I have no problem picking guys up but they never want to commit."

"Sucky," Zack continues the conversation but I tune it out.

Tifa just came down the stairs. I am utterly speechless. She's wearing a black blouse and a mid length red skirt with a few ruffled layers. It's just the same shade as her eyes. She looks amazing.

"Hey," She smiles at me. "You look good."

"Hey," I swallow and try to think of some way to tell her how good she looks without sounding like an idiot. I fail. "You too."

"Tifa," Zack cuts in before I can recover. "You look fantastic."

"Thanks." She blushes and looks down. Damn, maybe she does like him.

"You all ready to go?" He asks her.

"Just let me get my purse." She says and darts behind the bar.

I shoot a glare at Zack but he doesn't notice. I know he wasn't actively trying to sabotage me but his reactions to girls are automatic. Still I wish that it had been me to make her blush.

Tifa comes back with her purse. It's huge and more like a bag. It looks like she's got a ton of stuff in it.

"You call that a purse?" I joke quietly with her.

She shrugs and smiles, "Yeah, anything else is just too small. I never have what I want."

I smile back. "Ready to go then."

"Yeah," She turns to Johnny. "Remember, no serving to drunks just because their cute and we close at one tonight."

"Yes Tifa, I'll be good."He rolls his eyes at her. "You three have a good time."

"We will." Zack waves at him and we walk out.

"So where are we going?" Tifa asks as we get into the car.

I open my mouth to answer but Zack shakes his head. "It's a surprise."

"A surprise?" I ask and give Tifa the front seat.

"Yeah," He smiles then leans over his seat to whisper to me. "Girls like surprises. It doesn't matter what it is they'll just be happy about the surprise."

"I heard that you know." Tifa smirks at him.

He waves a hand in the air. "Yeah well you're not the one I'm trying to impress."

"Then you can tell me where we're going." She points out.

"No way, you'll tell Aerith." He grins at her and starts the car.

"No I won't." She protests. "I've never met her."

"Yes you will. It doesn't matter if you've met her or not. Girls are thick as thieves. If I give you the chance you'll ruin the surprise."

"That's ridiculous." Tifa scoffs. I sigh and lean back in the seat. There's a good chance they'll bicker like this the whole way.

"Maybe so but it's true. I've seen it happen before."

"For you maybe," She sighs. "But you see, I'm not like the girls you know."

"Still not telling." He says smugly.

She glares at him for a moment then turns to me. "You don't think that do you?"

I freeze, this is dangerous turf. I know what Zack is talking about although I don't think that girls do it on purpose.

"Yes he does." Zack glances at me in the rearview mirror. "He's seen it happen too.

"No he doesn't." Tifa objects and stares at me. "What do you think?"

Oh hell, what do I say. Yes girls will gang up on guys, especially if it's embarrassing but saying that would be a bad idea. I don't want to start the night with my date being mad at me.

I finally shake my head. "I'm not answering that."

"See," Zack calls triumphantly. "That means he agrees with me."

Tifa narrows her eyes at me for a second then turns away. "Fine, you're both impossible."

"Why do you want to know so badly?" I ask.

She shrugs. "Because you two won't tell me. I hate it when people won't tell me things."

I give her a funny look from the back seat. That's weird, she never gets annoyed when I refuse to tell her about something. She always backs off and says she's sorry. Is she just hiding it or does she tolerate me for some reason.

Zack pulls the car into a parking spot right in front of a small flower shop. The sign proclaims that it's Gainsborough Flowers in a script like writing. It's almost dark now and the door sign says it's closed but the lights are still on inside.

"Come on," Zack says with a grin and gets out of the car. "I'll introduce you guys."

Tifa and I follow as he leads us into the shop. The inside is a riot of flowers. There's hardly enough room to move around. A pretty girl with long brown hair and green eyes is standing behind the counter. She's got a pale pink sun dress on and a large pink bow in her braided hair.

"Hi Zack," She smiles.

"Aerith," He grins and takes a few steps forward. "You look fantastic." He makes a motion to kiss her hand but she deftly pull her hand away as if she doesn't notice.

"Thank you," She turns to us and offers a hand to Tifa. "I'm Aerith."

Tifa smiles and takes her hand warmly. "Tifa, it's nice to meet you."

"You too." Aerith turns to me. "And you?"

"Cloud." I shake her hand.

"So Aerith," Zack smiles and puts an arm around her shoulder. "Ready to go?"

She steps back and foils his attempt. "Yeah, just let me tell mom I'm leaving."

She smiles and goes through a door behind the counter. I have to smile; it all makes sense now. Zack is so hung up on this girl because she is almost totally immune to his charms.

Zack sighs and stares after Aerith dejectedly, Tifa and I trade smiles. This is great. I've never seen a girl dodge Zack as adeptly as Aerith is.

She comes back out after a second and I watch Zack quickly change to his suave attitude. "All set?" He asks.

"Yeah, Where are we going?" She smiles and gets to the door before he can open it for her. In fact she holds it open for all of us.

"Don't bother asking," Tifa sighs. "They won't tell us. It's supposed to be a surprise."

Aerith giggles and locks the door. "You sound like you already tried."

"The whole way here." Tifa smiles.

"What's wrong with surprises?" Zack asks.

"I'm just curious." Tifa smiles and gets into the car. Zack and Aerith take the front seats which leaves me and Tifa in the back. Let's just hope this isn't awkward.

"So what do you do?" Aerith asks Tifa as Zack starts the car and takes off.

"I'm the head bartender at the Seventh Heaven." Tifa answers.

"That must be fun." Aerith smiles. It looks like she and Tifa are already making friends.

"I enjoy it."

"Is it a rowdy place?"

"No, it's mostly a dance club but there will always be angry drunks."

"Ooh, dance club?"

"One or two nights a week. We don't get enough business to make it every night."

"Sounds interesting. I might have to come by sometime and you?" Aerith turns to me.

"I work for a delivery service." I tell her.

"Which one?"

"Midgar Package Express."

"I've never heard of it." She frowns.

"It's a pretty small company." I shrug.

"What do you do there?"

"I'm a delivery boy." I answer and Tifa giggles, so does Aerith. Yeah, yeah, delivery boy. It's so funny. It wasn't my decision for that to be my official title. God damn you Coates.

"So," They finally stop giggling and Tifa turns to Aerith. "Do you do anything other than work at the flower shop."

"Not really," Aerith shrugs. "It's just my mom and me so I don't get much free time."

They continue talking. I just lean back with my arms crossed and stare out the window. At least that was all the embarrassment I'm going to suffer for the moment. They keep talking, Zack interjects an opinion every once in a while and subsequently gets smacked by one of the two. Generally Tifa, I don't think Aerith is that comfortable with him yet.

I don't say much for the drive. I don't want to make a fool of myself and honestly I don't think I could add much to the conversation at this point. God save me from my stupid mouth.

**Nurrg... Another short chapter, I'm sorry. This totally wasn't all that I had planned for this chapter but I'm going to have to put the rest in the next one. It is currently three thirty in the morning and I just got back from a freaking insane bachelorette party (not the good kind of insane). I also have to get up in like four hours to support the bride to be through her various bride-zilla moments before her wedding. Subsequently I just haven't had much time to write. The whole point is that I wanted to make this chapter longer but I didn't have time so I'm giving you this to tide you guys over. I just feel real guilty if I miss my implied deadline. I know it's silly for me to feel that way but I do.**

**In other news, SQUEE! With that last chapter this story broke fifty reviews. I love you all so much.**

**MyFinalFantasyVII and goatgod glad to have you both reading. Thanks for the review and if you didn't already know I update every other day(with exception to annoying circumstances) so you don't have to wait long.**

**typical when I first plotted out the chapters there were 32. However I have already had to make various scenes more than one chapter so it's probably 32+. I have no idea how many it's really going to be because I keep getting random ideas in the middle of chapters.**

**EpicPopcorn I know that the meeting with Rufus was a little anti-climatic but there will be more about that later. Also glad you checked out the song, it's one of my favorites.**

**Big thanks to all my other regulars. xoxphi, Eledin, ClotiNotCleris, Shari Joy Rose, and Sacred3. Once again I adore you people.**

**Song for this bit - I Feel it All by Fiest**

**I'm going to bed now. Sleep is a wonderful thing. Talk to you all on Wednesday.**

**P.S. I didn't do much editing on this because my eyes don't want to focus right now so please be nice about grammar crap.**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The Mythrill Mine ends up being a club in the center of Edge. It's a small building sandwiched between a beauty salon and an expensive looking clothing store.

Zack parks the car and looks at all of us."Alright, this is it."

"Ooh... The Mythrill Mine. I love this place." Aerith smiles.

"You've been here before?" Zack asks disheartened.

"Oh yeah," She grins and gets out of the car. "My father loves this place."

Tifa and I exchange grins and exit the car. I'm sure Zack wanted to take Aerith somewhere she had never been before but at least she likes it.

Zack offers Aerith his arm to escort her inside but she just brushes past him and opens the door. I smile and shake my head.

Tifa turns to me. "Shall we?"

"Of course." I offer her my arm and we go inside.

The inside is quite nice. The walls have a rough texture and are dark grey with occasional silver glints. I guess the place is supposed to look like a mine but still be classy. There are several tables spread out around the place and a sunken dance floor with a stage. A small band is set up on stage but they aren't playing at the moment.

Zack turns to the host and is about to talk but the host talks before him.

"Miss Gainsbourough, what a pleasure to see you again." He smiles and bows to Aerith.

"Hello Charlie," She smiles, "How are things going tonight?"

"Quite well, are you meeting you're father tonight?" He asks.

"No," Aerith shakes her head. "He's too busy right now. I believe we have reservations." She smirks at Zack. He looks distinctly unsettled by this little exchange.

"A reservation?" Charlie asks.

"For Fair." Zack mutters.

"Ah yes, right this way." Charlie smiles and grabs some menus.

"Who's on stage tonight?" Aerith asks as we walk to our table.

"The Kalm Rhythm Kings. They are due back on stage in about five minutes."

"Good," She turns to us. "They're really talented."

We take our seats, Aerith completely ignores the chair Zack pulls out for her.

"Here are your menus and the waitress will be along in a minute. Tell you're father hello for me." Charlie says.

"Thank you Charlie," Aerith smiles. "I will."

He walks off and Zack gives Aerith a stare. He quickly shakes it off though and opens the menu. "Well since you seem to know everything about this place what would you recommend."

Aerith giggles a little, "Well pretty much everything on the menu is good. My favorite is the garlic Linguini with spinach but the grilled Tempeh is good too."

Zack and Aerith get immersed in a conversation about the menu. Tifa turns to me.

"This is almost too funny for words." She whispers to me.

"I know," I whisper back. "I think Zack is in trouble."

She giggles. "Yeah, I wonder if she's ignoring him on purpose."

"I don't know." I shrug. "You'll have to ask her."

"I suppose so. I wonder how she heard about him. It seems like she knows all the stories already."

"Yeah," I smile at her. She really does look pretty. I should say something about it.

"So," Aerith interrupts our whispered conversation. "How long have you two been together?"

I freeze and Tifa's face goes bright red. " Umm... We're not dating." Tifa says quietly.

"We're friends." I supply.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Aerith leans forward. "You just seemed so close."

"No," Tifa shakes her head. "We're just friends."

Oh god, awkward moment. Tifa won't even look at me.

"What can I get you to drink?" The waitress breaks the awkwardness.

"I'll have a cranberry vodka." Aerith says.

"Hmm... I'll have a Bijou." Tifa orders.

"Water." That's all I'm going to have.

Zack is still staring at the drink menu. I can see him eyeing the drinks and give him a glare.

"They have a good wine selection." Aerith offers but he shakes his head.

"No, I'll just have a coke." He sighs.

"Alright, I'll be right back with those." The waitress smiles and walks off.

Zack sighs and both Tifa and I glare at him.

"Are you sure that's all you want?" Aerith asks both him and I. "The bartender here is pretty good."

I shake my head and Zack shifts awkwardly. "Uh... Cloud and I were in the military." He rubs the back of his neck. "We both got the Mako infusion so alcohol isn't really a good idea."

"Oh," She looks back and forth between us for a second. More awkward moments. Apparently we're just a sinkhole for uncomfortable topics of conversation.

The waitress comes back and takes our orders. None of us really look at each other. Great way to start dinner.

"So what were you?" Aerith finally breaks the silence.

"What?" Zack asks.

"In the military?" She supplies.

"Spec 5," He shrugs. She looks confused and he elaborates. "Basically a Sergeant with communications training."

"And you?" She turns to me.

I grit my teeth, if I don't answer Zack will. "Corporal."

"And you guys were in Wutai?" She asks a little sadly. This is exactly why I like Tifa, she doesn't ask these questions. She just accepts that I don't want to talk about it.

"Oh yeah," Zack takes the hint from me and tries to focus her attention on him. "I was there all four years of the war."

"That's horrible." She looks completely distraught. "It must have been awful."

"Hey look," Zack changes the subject. "The band is about to start. You said these guys were good right?" He doesn't like talking about it much more than I do but he doesn't get nearly as freaked out.

"Oh yeah, they have a really amazing saxophone player." She lets him off the hook. "Their really good at improv too."

Zack and Aerith chat a little about the band as I sit there and stare. Why does everyone have to talk about the bloody war. It's like they have some morbid fascination with thousands of people dying.

The band starts playing some energetic dance song. Oh god this could get worse. Tifa could want to dance. I'm just going to have to hope that doesn't happen. I can't dance to save my life.

"Hey," Tifa leans over to me and puts a hand on my arm. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I look over at her. Our eyes meet, I've managed to avoid doing that since the night before the race. I get lost in them. I don't know why but when I look into her eyes I relax. It's like all my issues disappear. I can just be me instead of the twitchy little ball of nerves I know I am. It doesn't matter that I grew up in a place that hated me, that I was in Wutai, that I have PTSD or even Mako Poisoning. I know that it wouldn't be like that if I told her but sometimes I like to pretend that it wouldn't matter. She's so calming, so real. All the walls I've built to protect myself drop when I talk to her.

"Cloud!" Zack's raised voice distracts me and I hurriedly look away from her.

"What?" I glare at him a little.

"Did I interrupt you're little moment there?" He smirks.

"What do you want Zack." I'm being a little harsher than I usually am but he deserves it. He's the one who keeps pushing me to ask Tifa out. Then he goes and interrupts whatever that was.

"When's the next Race?" He grins. "Aerith might like to come watch."

"A little under two months." I shrug. It's probably better that he interrupted. I don't want Tifa to be uncomfortable with me.

"You really compete in a motorcycle race with weapons?" Aerith asks me. "It sounds dangerous."

"It is," I admit, I'm trying to act cool to cover up how uncomfortable this night has been already. "But it's not so bad."

"It was really interesting to watch." Tifa smiles at Aerith. She won't look at me. Great, I've made her uncomfortable. "All the racers are pretty hard core. It's a little scary to see them fighting and driving at the same time."

"It sounds like it." Aerith agrees.

"You and Cid still working on you're bike?" Zack asks me.

"Yeah," I shrug. "When I have time. My boss has decided that I need to work more and for some reason The Shinra Electric Company has decided to use us for every major delivery in the city."

"Seriously?" Zack looks taken aback. "A little company like yours?"

"Yeah," I shake my head. "They placed a massive last minute order last week, I spent four days delivering boxes to every person who's ever had a business deal with them."

"Oh Barret got one of those." Tifa frowns. "It was just a box of packing popcorn with an invitation to the Shinra's 50th Anniversary Celebration buried at the bottom."

I look at her surprised. "What?"

"I know. It was just a letter in the bottom of the box, it didn't make any sense." She shakes her head.

I grit my teeth, I know the reason behind this. Rufus Shinra is tormenting me. That has to be it. He's the one that chose our company to deliver and it turns out we're delivering these absolutely pointless packages.

"What is it?" Zack asks.

"The Playboy." I growl. "I don't know how but he must have found out who I am and where I work. He's foisting fake deliveries on us on purpose."

"Would he really be like that?" Tifa asks. "I've heard that Rufus Shinra is a responsible vice-president. I doubt he would waste money on something so petty."

"But if there was only an invitation in the box then that's what he must have been doing." Zack points out.

"You've only got my word to rely on." Tifa points out. "They may have put something else in there and made a mistake on Barret's delivery."

I shake my head. Maybe it was a mistake but I doubt it. Why else would Rufus have come in person at six o'clock in the morning. He's either trying to cut in on my time working on my bike or he's taunting me. Either way it's a smart move, smart but dirty. He probably wanted me to see it for what it actually was too.

"Okay..." Aerith interrupts our discussion, she looks totally lost. "Who is the playboy and why would Rufus Shinra be after you?"

"He competes in the Combat Races as the Playboy." Zack answers her. "He's the guy who took first place in the last race. Cloud took second."

"Stole." I mutter. It still makes me angry.

"There were no rules. He took first." Tifa looks at me pointedly.

"He stole first." I say looking at her.

"I don't know why you're so determined to think he's doing something wrong. He won the race and it's probably coincidence that those packages went to your company." She glares at me. Here's the one thing that Tifa and I disagree on. I'm suspicious and paranoid while she always thinks the best of others.

I don't answer. Yeah no rules, sure. He still stole the victory right out from underneath me. She and I trade glares for a moment then I look away. I don't want to argue with her even if I'm positive she's wrong.

"So how do you go about racing?" Aerith asks.

Our food comes and the discussion about the races lasts us through dinner. It's less awkward than it was so that's good. We're just finishing when Aerith's cell phone rings.

"Darn, I'm sorry I have to take this." She apologizes to us getting up and answering the phone. "Hi daddy."

"So you got a strategy for the next race." Zack leans forward and asks me.

I shake my head. "I've been training a little but I can't find a decent sparring partner."

"Sparring partner?" Tifa asks. "Even for a sword that shouldn't be hard to find in Midgar."

"It's not that easy for us Teef." Zack smiles. "We're stronger than most people, sparring with someone who doesn't have Mako can be dangerous."

"Yeah," I nod my head and glare at Zack. "And the only person I know gave up their sword."

"Hey, don't blame me for that. I didn't think I would ever use it again." He objects.

The band falls into silence and Aerith's voice rings out over the restaurant. "Honestly daddy, he's been a perfect gentleman."

Everyone turns to look at her and she turns bright red. Then continues in a lower voice. "No I'm not going to do anything stupid. Yes I'll be careful... Well just come ask Charlie he'll tell you that everything is fine... I have to go... No, I have to go. I'll call you when I get home." She snaps the phone shut and comes back to the table embarrassed.

"Is everything alright?" Tifa asks.

"Sorry about that." Aerith apologizes. "My father is a little overprotective."

"Overprotective?" Zack asks surprised.

"Well it's more that he just really doesn't like you." She blushes a little.

"He doesn't even know me." Zack objects.

"Yes he does." She looks down at the table. "I took my adopted mother's name, my last name should be Gast."

The blood drains from both our faces in unison. Dr. Gast is Aerith's father. This is not good news. We trade a look then Zack puts on his confident grin and I hide behind my bland look.

"Ah... Well." Zack says hesitantly. "That explains why you don't trust me."

"How do you know him?" Aerith asks.

We both hesitate for a moment. "We did some tests for him." Zack supplies. "You know the whole Mako infusion thing. No one really knows what the long term effects are."

"Oh," She frowns a little. If she's Gast's daughter she probably knows that he specializes in Mako Poisoning. Don't ask about it, please don't ask about it. "Anyway, he just saw you leaving the shop one day and told me that you were a womanizer and not to be trusted."

Boy oh boy, awkwardness again. We're really hitting them out of the ballpark tonight.

Zack rubs the back of his neck and laughs nervously. "Yeah, we don't really get along."

There's another moment of silence. Man, is my general awkwardness with everybody spreading or something.

"Umm..." Tifa looks at Aerith. "I don't want to pry or anything but you said adopted mother."

Aerith smiles at her. "It's okay, my mother died when I was eight. She had MS. Dad was always traveling for his research so my mother's best friend Elmyra took me in. She's a wonderful lady. She adopted me a few years ago because she never had any children of her own."

"I'm sorry about you're mother." Tifa apologizes.

"No really," Aerith shakes her head. "I miss her but it was her time to go. She wouldn't want me to be sad for her."

"I'm glad you can think like that." Tifa smiles. "My father died of Cancer a couple of years ago and I still can't stop missing him."

"I understand." Aerith reaches out and takes Tifa's hand in hers. "It's hard to go on without them."

More awkwardness. I can't believe that we as a group of people can't have a single conversation that doesn't lead to us being hesitant and awkward.

"Well, enough of this morbid stuff." Zack claps his hands. "We're here to have fun. Would you care to dance my lady?" He offers a hand to Aerith.

She eyes it for a second as if trying to decide if she should ignore him again but relents. "I would love to." She takes his hand and they make their way to the dance floor. It's the first sign of caving to his charm she's shown all night.

Tifa turns to me. "So this has been a strange night."

"Yeah," I agree watching Zack lead Aerith across the dance floor. "She seems pretty nice." I wonder if he'll break her heart like he does all the others.

Tifa gives a sigh and leans back in the chair. "Do you think he'll be nice to her?"

There she goes reading my mind again. "I don't know." I shake my head. "I've never seen him so hung up on a girl before but it may not last."

"It would be nice not to have his floozys hanging around the bar."

"Are they that bad?" I ask.

"Sometimes," She shrugs. "At first they thought I was competition but now they just mob me for news about him when he's not there."

"Ouch," I flinch. Those girls can be really demanding about Zack.

"They don't do it when you come by though." She smiles.

"That's because I've trained them to back off." I smile back.

"Yeah well all you have to do is give them that stone face of yours and they get scared." She teases me.

"Stone face?" I ask.

"You know, the one you use on people who bug you."

I don't have an answer to that. She's talking about my bland face, I use it for a lot of things. Around her I use it to hide my emotions but I do use it on anybody who bugs me. Mostly it's just my response to panic. I don't want people to know I'm scared so I hide behind the bland face. It's a defense mechanism.

Tifa sighs again and leans forward so her head is resting on my shoulder. I force myself to stay relaxed. My instant reaction is to freeze. It's been a long time since any girl was like this with me. I don't think she realizes what this is like for me.

"Tired?" I ask.

"A little," She responds and closes her eyes. "It's been a long week."

"It's only Wednesday." I point out.

"I had Marlene all weekend." She reminds me.

"Did you get any sleep?"

"Some," She shrugs. "I'm not that bad yet."

"How do you tell when you're that bad?"

"I do something totally ridiculous. Last time I checked every chair and table in the bar for discarded gum."

I smile and give a little laugh. She's still leaning on my shoulder. Jesus, completely attractive girl leaning on my shoulder and I just want to run away before I do something I'll regret. This is pathetic.

I move a little and she sits up. "I'll be right back." I make the excuse and leave the table.

Okay, I need to clear my head. Tifa is my friend. It doesn't matter that she's a smart funny attractive girl she's just my friend. I swear that phrase is becoming my mantra. She's just a friend.

When I get back to the table Aerith and Zack have returned.

"It's getting late." Zack smiles. "I think it's time to head back to Midgar."

"I have to work tomorrow." I admit.

"Me too." Tifa agrees.

"Alright, you girls get ready to leave Cloud an I will take care of the bill." Zack claps me on the back and picks up the check. The girls trade looks of amusement and both head for the bathrooms.

"Let me see that." I reach for the bill.

"You know I can get it." He offers again. "I've got the money."

"No Zack," I roll my eyes at him. "I'll pay my half."

He offers me the ticket. I look at it and sigh. Well it's a good thing that I've been doing so much work lately. This won't dent my budget too much. I pull the gil out and put my half in the folder then hand it back to him.

"Seriously, I can get it." He offers again.

"Zack." I glare at him.

"Alright, alright. I'll leave you alone." He sighs and puts down his half.

The girls return and we leave. Aerith actually lets Zack hold the door open for her. Maybe she's warming up to him. Tifa and I take the back seat again while Aerith and Zack take the front. They're still chatting amiably, more so than when we picked her up.

The ride back to Midgar is uneventful. Neither Tifa or I talk much. Aerith and Zack talk quietly the whole way but I don't really pay attention to what is said. We drop Tifa off first. I suppose Zack want's a little time alone with Aerith before he takes her home.

I get out and walk Tifa to the door of the bar.

"That was actually very nice." She smiles.

"Yeah," I rub the back of my neck, embarrassed.

"Thanks for taking me out." She says and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. Once again she's gone before I can react. It's so funny how she does that. I guess I'm not the only one who runs away.

I conceal my smile and head back to the car. The last thing I want is Zack giving me shit about asking her out again.

He drops me off next. I thought he would. Even if it's out of the way he's going to want to know if he gets a second date and he's not going to want anybody to see if she rejects him.

I spend ten minutes winding down from the date and the semi-kiss Tifa gave me. It's strange how just that can start my blood racing. Then pull out my book and start to read. I get a text message from Zack about twenty minutes later.

'She said yes. I get a second date!'

I smile and go back to my book. I'm amazed, for once one of Zack's plans hasn't ended in complete disaster. He actually did something right.

**Wow, this one was hard. I had a lot of trouble pining Aerith's personality down but I'm pretty happy with how it came out. I'm sorry if it wasn't the disaster some of you were expecting but not everything goes wrong all the time.**

**DYNASTYwarrior don't worry about reviewing every chapter. I do love it but it's not required. Just let me know you're still reading every once in a while. As for you're question I can't tell you. I don't want to give anything away.**

**Super thanks to everyone who reviewed. It's been a long week and I really appreciated the support you all gave me about my previous commitments. Hopefully nothing else will come up until I start school again. **

**Anyway, song for this bit - Marching Bands of Manhattan by Death Cab for Cutie**

**Thanks everyone. Tell me what you think.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Rufus Shinra is making my life hell. There is no other explanation.

"No," I cross my arms and stare at my boss. "I've got other things to do Coates."

We match stares for a minute. I swear the storage room is getting darker from the anger in the air. I can see Wedge cowering away from the two of us out of the corner of my eye.

Coates glares then his face melts into the good old boy routine. It's what he uses to con people into doing what he wants before he gets angry enough to make threats. "Cloud, Cloud, Cloud," He shakes his head and puts his hands out in a consolatory gesture. "Vice President Shinra has put this in our hands. He's trusting us to do a professional job."

"I'm not giving up my only day off in two weeks to deliver fruit baskets." I say firmly.

"Listen, I know you're overworked, we all are, but this is important." He tries again.

That much is true. It's been a hellish two weeks. The day after the date Rufus loaded us with another massive delivery. That one took us almost a week because we couldn't put off our regular deliveries any longer. Now it's god damned fruit baskets. I mean what the hell. Don't the places that sell those have their own delivery service?

It's becoming pretty common to walk in in the morning and see everyone freaking out over the number of deliveries. Everyone in the office has massive bags under their eyes and we're beginning to act like the walking dead.

"I have a race in three weeks." I tell him.

"And I promise that as soon as we get these delivered I'll give you two days off." Coates wheedles.

"That's what you said about the last one." I glare.

He drops the friendly attitude. "I could fire you for this."

"You could but you wont." I tell him. He can't afford to loose anybody right now. We're all angry, tired and ready to quit. One person could cost him everyone at this point.

"I give you special dispensation for your medical conditions and this is how you repay me?" His face is going red.

"And you pay me jack shit because of it. None of us are getting paid what this is worth." I wouldn't normally be doing this but it's not just for me. Last night we were doing paperwork until ten. Biggs and Wedge came to me on behalf of all the employees and asked me to stand up to Coates. They know I'm one of the few people who can butt heads with him. Apparently if this doesn't work everybody is going to walk out.

I agreed only because I have three weeks until the race and I have barely even talked to Cid much less worked on my bike. I still haven't found a sparing partner and I haven't even fought monsters lately. This needs to stop.

Coates looks panicked. "I... I'll pay overtime."

I suppress a smile. I'd swear he has nightmares about overtime with the way he usually reacts to it. "You're going to pay overtime to everybody." I tell him.

The blood drains out of his face.

"And you're going to tell the Vice President that he has to place orders at least a week in advance and delivery will take the normal amount of time." I continue. "No more of this last minute bullshit."

I can feel everyone in the room staring at him. This is what we all want. Get paid what we deserve and no more last minute panics. "Everyone will make this delivery if I agree to this?" He asks.

Biggs gives me a thumbs up from behind Coates. "Yes." I nod my head.

"Alright," Coates sighs. "Overtime for this delivery and I won't accept anymore last minute orders." He turns on his heel and stalks into his office. Cheering erupts around me and everyone is grinning in relief.

"T-That was amazing." Wedge tells me. "I can't believe you got him to agree."

I shrug and give him a half smile. It feels good to have stood up to the boss. It's been needed for a long time.

"Thanks man," Biggs slaps my back.

"Yeah," I rub the back of my neck. It's a little embarrassing to have them all thanking me but it's okay. It's nice to know I'm doing something they appreciate.

"Just because I agreed to pay overtime doesn't mean you can all slack off." Coates sticks his head out the door and bellows. "Get back to work."

"Oops." Biggs jumps and rushes back to the desk.

I shake my head and follow him. If we move fast I might even have time to go by the bar tonight. I've barely seen Tifa since the date. We've been talking on the phone most nights but it's not the same. I never thought I would miss the awkwardness between us but I do.

I grab my delivery slips from Biggs and start to load up my saddlebags. Seriously, fruit baskets? There is something just plain wrong with that. They even have bows on the top. At least there aren't as many as the last two deliveries.

Bloody Rufus Shinra, whatever Tifa may say I'm sure he's doing this on purpose. He's trying to keep me busy with work so I won't have time to think about the race. It's sabotage, corporate style. Businesses fight dirty, I'm not used to it. If you want someone to fail you just go break their kneecaps or something, you don't involve other people or work them to death.

How did I make an enemy out of the richest spoiled brat in the entire city. I was just racing, just trying to win. Why this personal vendetta against me? I doubt he does this to the other racers. Is it because I took out his body guard or maybe because he knows I should have beaten him. I don't know.

The thing is no matter how much I want to beat him he's not the one I need to focus on. Valentine is Palmer's racer, that's what I should be concerned with. Whatever happens with Rufus I need to concentrate on beating Valentine. I can't shake the desire to ram Rufus' face in the dust though.

I put the last stupid fruit basket in place and start my bike. It's better to just get this over and done with. The sooner I start the sooner I finish.

I make pretty good time. So does everyone else. I guess the idea of overtime has put the energy back into their work. We've got a little over three fourths of the delivery done by eight o'clock. It's company policy to never deliver after that because we have to get signatures from people. They don't like it much when you interrupt dinner but it's even worse when they're in bed.

I walk back into work about twenty minutes after to drop off my delivery slips.

"Thanks Cloud," Biggs takes the slips after me. "You're the last one."

"What's left for tomorrow?" I ask.

"A couple of hours but it's a light day compared to the ones we've been having." He grins. "Thanks again for standing up to the boss earlier. It's gonna make things a lot easier."

"No big deal." I shrug and look through some of the delivery slips for tomorrow.

"No really." He continues. "Come out with me and Wedge tonight. I'll buy you a drink."

"Biggs, Mako." I remind him without looking up. "Can't drink." It's strange to be so casual about it. I used to freeze up and get defensive but I don't feel that way now. Probably because it's come up so often recently. Maybe I'm finally getting used to this kind of thing.

"Sorry, I forgot," He looks at me chagrined. "Come out anyway, I'll buy you some food or something."

I sigh, Biggs and Wedge are the only two people who really talk to me at work. They invite me out pretty much once a week. I usually brush them off but it doesn't stop Biggs from trying. Maybe I should open up to them, their nice enough guys and being friendly hasn't caused me trouble in the last few months. Hell, if I hadn't taken the chance and been nice to Tifa I wouldn't know her.

"I'm going to the Seventh Heaven tonight." I say casually. "You and Wedge are welcome to come if you want."

"The Seventh Heaven?" Biggs looks confused. "I wouldn't think that was your kind of place."

"I've got some friends there." I shrug. I can see the surprise in his eyes. Surprise that I have friends. I'm not that bad am I? Maybe I am. After all I've been working with these two for a little over a year and this is the first time I've even considered seeing them outside of work.

"Alright." He hastily shuffles some of the paperwork. "We've got to finish up her but we'll meet you there when we're done."

"Later," I wave and walk out the door. Is that really what they think of me. That I'm some tough guy with no friends. I mean it may have just been Zack, Yuffie and Godo up until a few months ago but I've got friends.

I shake my head and start my bike. I've got friends and I'm going to go see one of them right now.

The bar is about half full when I get there. It's not a party crowd tonight though, just people drinking because they like to drink. They've gathered in small groups just a few to a table.

"Hey," Tifa smiles at me as I walk up to the bar. "You got off at a decent time tonight."

"Yeah," I smile back at her. "I finally put my foot down with the boss. No more last minute orders."

"Nice," She grins. "No bad reactions?"

I shake my head. "No, just about everyone was on the verge of walking out so he didn't have much choice."

"Good. Does this mean you're going to get days off again?"

"I hope so," I sigh. "I still haven't had a chance to go over my bike with Cid."

"He and Shera were in here the other night."

"Really?" That surprises me. "I wouldn't think that he would like this place."

"Yeah," She laughs. "Complained the whole time but he got so drunk that Shera had to drag him out so it couldn't have been that bad."

"I think he would complain about the place no matter how much he liked it." I shrug.

"Probably, want a drink?"

"Sure, hows the night going?"

"Oh you know." She shrugs and turns to grab a glass. "Same old same old."

"Just people getting drunk?" I ask.

"Pretty much. I'm glad Barret's back though, Marlene can be a handful sometimes."

I smile a little. "I'm sure you can handle a little girl."

"Pfft, little nothing. She's a hellion." She sighs and hands me a drink.

"She can't be that bad." I grin.

"No," She shakes her head. "Not really, she's just really observant and vocal about it."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Umm..." She starts to blush. "She noticed how often we talk on the phone and has been pestering me about you."

I don't say anything. Great, even the six year old thinks there's something between us. Will I ever get a break?

"Anyway," She changes the subject. "Have you talked to Zack recently? I haven't seen him in a while."

"Talked to him a little yesterday. He's spending most of his time trying to impress Aerith." I shrug.

"I thought things were going better between them."

"So did he." I shrug. "She's going on dates with him but they have to be somewhere public and he has to have her home by ten."

Tifa giggles. "What is she, in high school?"

"I don't know," I shrug. "Something about proving his intentions."

"That's just silly," She waves a hand. "I mean really, he's doing a lot for her."

"Yeah but he pretty much deserves it." I point out. "He's got a reputation for a reason."

"I know." She rolls her eyes.

"Tifa," Johnny comes up and puts an arm around her shoulders. "I know you're having fun with you're pretty boy and all," His voice practically drips sarcasm. "But wouldyou maybe consider helping me before I keel over from exhaustion?"

"Sorry Johnny, I'll be right there." She apologizes.

He crosses his arms and gives her a disbelieving look. "Sure you will." He turns away. "Just remember that it's your fault when you have to take me to the hospital."

"Is he always so dramatic?" I ask.

"He didn't used to be," She sighs and shakes her head. "It came into being when I turned him."

"Turned him?" I stare at her.

"Yeah, we dated for a month or two." She shrugs. "Apparently I turned him gay. Don't ask how, I don't know. He just walked up one day and said we couldn't date anymore because he liked boys."

"That's..." I try to find something to say. Honestly I can't imagine anyone deciding that they're gay if they had the chance to be with Tifa. "Weird." I finish lamely.

"Weird things happen to the best of us." She smiles. "I better go help him though. I'll be back later." Then she walks off.

I look down at my drink. This has already been a strange day. I stood up to my boss, invited Biggs and Wedge out for drinks and learned that Tifa turned Johnny gay. I shake my head and take a sip of my drink, it couldn't get any stranger.

"Spiky," Barret glares and sits down next to me. "What's your intentions with my girl?"

"What?" I almost choke on my drink. Okay one, why is he calling me Spiky and two what does he mean his girl. Marlene is still terrified of me, she won't come near me.

"Don't be a foo, Marlene told me about you talkin' to Tifa all night long." He growls. "What are you plannin'?"

I was wrong, the night already is stranger. There's a very large, angry black man who made a living working on the riggs interrogating me. "I'm not planning anything." I tell him.

He squints at me. "I don' believe ya. What do you want with her?"

"Tifa and I are just friends." I give him a cold stare.

"You sure about that?" He asks still glaring.

"Listen, she want's to be friends so we're just friends." I say. "And I don't need you questioning me about it."

I'm getting sick of this. Every god damned time I turn around someone is making an implication about Tifa and I. It's like being kicked in the gut. I just love the reminder that this great, attractive girl isn't interested in me.

"What you say punk?" He stands up and looms over me.

That is it. I'm not taking this anymore. I stand up and meet his glare. Yeah, he towers over me but I don't freaking care. "I said I don't need you questioning me." I repeat quietly with ice in my voice.

"Why you..." He starts but Tifa hurries over to us before he can finish.

"Barret, Cloud." She gives us a glare. "Stop that."

"Sorry Teef," Barret punches the bar with his good hand and sits back down.

I wait for him to be seated then follow suit. Jesus, I thought he was gonna hit me. I've been hit often enough but he's a big guy.

"You need to keep you're temper in check." She admonishes him. "And you." She whirls on me. "Stop being so defensive. We're all friendly here."

"Sorry," Barret mutters again.

I don't say anything. I'm not going to apologize for defending myself. She glares at us for a few more seconds then walks away with a flick of her hair.

We sit in silence for a few more seconds before Barret speaks. "Just friends then?"

"Yes." I almost growl.

"Alright then," He grumbles and grabs his beer.

Another few minutes of silence.

"So Tifa tells me ya race." He asks apparently trying to find something we can be friendly about.

I sigh, "I'm in the Combat Race in three weeks."

"The Combat Race?" He grins. "That sounds interestin'."

"It's just a race with weapons." I shrug and take a sip of my drink. I'm trying to be nice.

"What do ya use?" He actually seems interested.

"A sword."

"A sword? Wouldn't a gun be more useful?"

"I like my sword." I shrug. "Besides, everyone uses guns."

"Cloud," Wedge calls out to me waving. "Wow I can't believe you actually came."

"Hey Wedge." I grumble. What is it with everyone tonight. Am I just a walking target tonight? Is there a giant bulls-eye painted on my back? Here I am trying to be social for once in my life and everyone is giving shit about it.

"Ya gonna introduce me?" Barret asks aggressively.

I sigh. "Biggs, Wedge this is Barret. He's the owner here. Barret these two are Biggs and Wedge. They work with me."

"Nice to meet you." Biggs holds out his hand.

"You'll have ta forgive me." Barret waves his prosthetic hand. "Can't really do handshakes anymore."

"Sorry." Biggs apologizes and Wedge looks a little horrified.

"No problem." Barret shrugs.

"You're friends with the owner?" Wedge stares at me wide eyed.

"Yeah he is." Barret grins at them.

Wait, friends? Not five minutes ago he was ready to beat my face in. Who said we were friends.

"Wow," Wedge is way to easily impressed.

"I jus' own the place." Barret shrugs. "I don' run it."

"Really?" Biggs asks him. "What do you do then."

"I do consultin' for Shinra. "Tifa," Barret yells. "Come get these boys a drink."

"I'm coming," She yells back. "I'll be there in a minute."

"You do consulting for Shinra?" Wedge asks Barret.

"On their oil wells." Barret tells them proudly.

I tune them out. Great now he's making friends with them. What the hell is going on here.

"What can I get for you?" Tifa rushes over.

"A beer." Biggs grins at her.

"S-s-same here." Wedge manages to blurt out. He's staring at her and he isn't looking at her face.

"Alrighty," She grabs the drinks then turns to me. "Do you want another one?" "I'm fine." I shake my head.

"Stick around for a little bit. I've got a break coming up." She smiles at me.

"Yeah," I shrug and watch her leave.

Barret is glaring at me again. Biggs and Wedge are staring at me in disbelief.

"What?" I ask, taken aback.

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend." Biggs says shrugging.

"Oh for christ's..." I sigh. Barret is glaring at me even more. "Tifa isn't my girlfriend, she's just my friend."

"You sure?" Biggs leers at me.

"Yes Biggs, I'm sure." I roll my eyes.

"She's so pretty." Wedge sighs. I glare at him. Sure she's pretty when all you look at is her chest.

"Man you're just full of surprises today." Biggs shakes his head.

Now what the hell is that supposed to mean.

"I mean I wouldn't think that you would know the owner here or be friends with the hot bartender. You hardly ever talk to us." He continues.

That is it. Fine I'm not a social person but that doesn't mean I don't know people. I stand up ready to just put my money on the counter and leave.

"Come outside with me." Tifa rushes over and grabs my hand. "It's too hot in here." She hurries me around the bar and over to the employee door. I sigh but let her.

She practically pushes me out the back door and turns to face me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I shake my head and refuse to look at her.

"Cloud," She puts a hand on her hip and pokes me in the chest. "You've been acting funny all night. What is going on?"

I rub the back of my neck. "It's not important." I mutter.

She grabs my chin and makes me meet her eyes. "Don't you dare brush me off like that. You looked like you were going to hit someone in there. Tell me."

"Fine," I tear my gaze away from her ruby eyes and sit down on the steps. "I'm just tired of people assuming things about me."

She sits down next to me. "What do you mean?"

I look down at the ground. "My boss thinks that because I have Mako I'll work sixteen hour days and I won't object, Biggs and Wedge are acting surprised as hell that I have friends or even people I'll talk to outside of work, and Barret just gave me the third degree."

"About what?" She asks.

I sigh. "About my intentions regarding you."

She starts to laugh. Just giggles at first but soon enough she's clutching her sides in laughter.

"Well you're a lot of help." I shoot her a quick glare.

She stops laughing and grins. "He gave me the same speech."

I stare at her wordlessly.

"He's just a little overprotective." She smiles. "He'll stop once he gets to know you."

"Tifa," I sigh, "I've been coming here for four months."

"And he's almost never around. He's either out working or taking care of Marlene." She points out. "Just give him some time. I think he want's to come see you race."

"Really?" I ask doubtfully.

"Yeah," She smiles at me. "He was really interested when I told him about it. As for you're boss, we all know he's a jerk."

"I guess you're right." I admit.

"Are Biggs and Wedge the two guys in there?" She asks.

"Yeah, I work with them."

"And how much do you talk to them. You've never told me about them before."

"Not much." I shrug.

"Well then it's not really surprising that they didn't know you have friends." She admonishes me.

I stare off into the distance for a little bit. "I guess you're right." I finally say.

"See," She slaps my arm playfully, "All you have to do is think about it."

"It's just been pretty constant all day." I tell her.

"Eh..." She shrugs. "Some days are like that. You just gotta learn to deal with them."

"I didn't have to when I didn't talk to people." I mutter.

"But you're happier now, aren't you?"

I give her a half smile. "Yeah I guess so."

"Just relax." She tells me leaning her head on my shoulder and putting an arm through mine. "You don't need to be wound up so tight all the time."

I don't say anything. She's right, I know she is. The thing is I spent so long wound up that I don't really know how to relax anymore. There was the war but it started before that. I can't really remember a time when I wasn't wound up.

She doesn't say anything either. We just sit there on the back steps and stare at the stars.

**Alright, this one took a little longer than I hoped but I was horribly distracted by a Marvel paper game. We played for eight hours straight. I'm sorry everyone. **

**Holy Wolf and Shari Joy Rose thanks for you're criticism. I know I have issues with your/you're and their/there/they're but hopefully I'm getting better. The biggest problem right now is that I have a Mac with only the most basic word program. Thus I do not have a grammar check. I have to transfer my files to a Windows computer to do that and I just haven't had the time. Still you're warnings are appreciated. As soon as I have time I'm going through all of my previous chapters and fixing it.**

**Sacred3 and Fairheartstrife I'm really glad you guys liked the date. It means a lot to me because the chapter before it was so pathetic. Thanks for all the support.**

**Anyway, good news: I'm getting out of the hell hole I am currently residing in. Bad news: Moving takes time away from writing. I don't officially leave until the end of the month but I want out of here as soon as possible. So I can't guarantee the every other day update. I probably wont go more than four days without updating though. I need my review fix. Yes it is an addiction.**

**Also whatever it may look like I do not hate Aerith. Quite the contrary actually. She was my favorite character for a very long time. I just can't make it easy on Zack so she's a little difficult right now. Please don't peg me for bashing her because that is not my intention.**

**Song for this bit - Open Eyes by The Apples in Stereo.**

**That's all for now but I adore you all and crave reviews. **


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"God dammit Shera," Cid yells and pounds on the bathroom door. "How long are ya gonna be in there?"

"I'm sorry," She calls. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Three fucking hours," he rages. "If you're gonna be useless just bloody well go home."

I smile to myself and turn back to my bike. I've been here for a few hours and she hasn't emerged. It's just like Cid to scream at her for being sick. Sometimes I think he just yells to be yelling.

The door opens a crack and Shera looks out. "I'll be fine."

"Woman, you get you're fucking ass home and take some medicine," he shouts at her.

"Cid, just leave me alone." She slams the door in his face.

That's the first time I've ever heard her talk back to him. Usually she just looks down and runs to do whatever he's yelling about.

Cid throws his arms up into the air and stalks away from the door. "Fucking stubborn bitch."

"She going to be okay?" I ask him wiping my hands off with a grease rag.

"Dunno," He rubs the back of his head. "She's been throwing up for four god damned days but she won't go home."

I shake my head. He sighs and leafs through the papers on his desk. "How's the training going?"

"Not so well," I shrug. "I've been practicing when I get the chance but I still haven't found a sparring partner."

"No one'll go up against the Mako, huh?" he asks.

"Not really," I sigh. "And Zack won't do it for pretty much anything." He's too busy trying to impress Aerith.

Cid frowns and rubs his chin. "I might know someone, he's a crazy mother fucker though."

"How so?" I ask.

"I can't be sure he wouldn't try to kill ya."

"That bad?"

"Yeah, I could give him a call though," he offers.

I sigh, "At this point it's better than nothing. Might as well try it."

He picks up the phone and I go back to my bike. Two weeks until the race. We haven't had much to do. Cid got some more armor and a better quality throttle but that's about it. Right now we're mostly fine tuning and double checking to make sure everything is in working order.

Everything seems to be in place but I'm not totally comfortable about it. Now that I know that it's a Combat Race I have time to think about it. I have a better idea of what I'm doing this time but it's making me nervous. Having time to brood about it sucks.

My phone rings and I pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey!" It's Zack. "Tell me you're going to the Leviathan tonight."

"I was planning on it," I shrug. "Why?"

"Good," he sounds unsettled. "I need you to bring Tifa."

"What? Why?" I ask taken aback.

"Aerith's wants to meet Godo and Yuffie and I need at least one sane person there," he blurts out.

I grin to myself. "I think she's working tonight."

"She'll get out of it if you ask her," he assures me.

"Yeah sure," I say and shake my head. I don't know where he gets these ideas.

"Just ask her," he sighs. "I'm gonna need all the help I can get."

"Aerith's pretty stable. I don't think Godo and Yuffie will scare her off," I tell him.

"Maybe not but she's coming out to the race so the longer she has to get used to them the better," he replies.

I pause for a second. Zack is making plans with a girl more than a day in advance. Aerith must really have an hold on him.

"Alright," I agree. "I'll call her and ask."

"Thanks, I owe you one."

He hangs up.

I shake my head, he's losing it. Seriously, he's panicking over Yuffie and Godo. They can be intimidating but they're not that bad.

"Alright Kid," Cid walks back up to me. "My guy says he'll come do it. He doesn't use a sword but I think It'll work."

"Thanks Cid." I shrug. Anyone who's willing to spar against me will work.

"He said he'll be here in about an hour." Cid continues.

"What, today?" I look at him.

"Yep," he grins. "You brought you're sword right?"

"Well, yeah," I rub the back of my neck.

"Good, I'll clear a space for you guys." He grins and claps me on the back.

I sigh and look down at the floor. I wasn't planning on sparring today but if Cid already got it set up then I can manage. Besides I won't have a lot of time to practice before the race.

Shera emerges from the bathroom and walks over to us. "Hi Cloud."

"Hey," I wave, this is the first time I've seen her all day.

"Could you give us a second? I need to talk to Cid," she asks quietly.

"Sure," I shrug and walk outside. I need to call Tifa anyway.

"What the hell do you want woman?" I hear Cid shout as I leave but I don't pay much attention.

I pull out my phone and dial Tifa's phone number.

"Hey," she answers cheerily.

"Hey," I answer. "Are you working tonight?"

"I don't know yet. What's up?"

I hesitate for a second; this is going to be interesting to explain. "Zack is taking Aerith over to dinner with Yuffie and Godo tonight. He wants backup."

She giggles. "And you won't be enough?"

"In his own words he needs one sane person," I tell her.

"That sounds about right," she agrees.

"What does? That he needs a sane person or that you would be the only one there?" I smile to myself.

"Both," She says smugly.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU MIGHT BE FUCKING PREGNANT!" I can hear Cid's shout even from out here.

"What was that?" Tifa asks.

"Uh..." I glance around the corner. Shera is sitting next to Cid's desk calmly staring at him. He's looming over her and shouting but not as loud as what I heard.

"I'm not sure," I tell Tifa and quickly move away from the door. "I'm at Cid's right now."

"I figured that much out from the yelling." She laughs a little. "Is everything okay?"

"I hope so," I sigh. "I think Shera just told Cid she's pregnant."

"Do you think it's his?" She asks.

"I don't know. I've never seen them act like they're together." I shrug. "He's always yelling and cussing her out."

Tifa sighs. "She says she doesn't mind but I don't know how she can be around him when he treats her like that."

"Yeah, he's pretty mean to her," I agree.

We're silent for a moment. That was a strange little conversation.

"Anyway," I shake my head. "Can you come tonight?"

"Probably, I was going to give Johnny the night off but I don't think he'll mind working."

Cid comes storming out of the hanger. He's grinding his teeth so hard I think he's going to bite his cigarette in half.

"I've got to go," I tell Tifa hastily. "Call me when you find out."

"Alright, I'll talk to you later."

"Later." I hang up.

Cid glares at me. "Did you hear that shit?"

"Just when you yelled," I shrug.

"Fuck," he grimaces and drops onto a box. "Can't bloody believe this."

I stare down at him but don't say anything.

"Not ready to be a god dammed father," he mutters.

"It's yours then?" It might not be the best idea for me to ask but I'll take that chance.

"Of course it's mine," he growls. "She's my bloody wife, ain't she?"

That stops me dead. Cid is married to Shera? When the hell did that happen? "You're married?" I ask incredulously. Why doesn't he ever tell me these things?

"Goin' on three years now. Why the hell else would I let her work on my plane?" He squints at me and stubs out his cigarette.

I suppose that's Cid for you. He never tells me anything and he treats his wife like a slave.

"I need another fuckin' cigarette." He mumbles and pulls a new one out of his pack. "I'm tellin you right now," He yells over his shoulder into the hanger. "I ain't givin' these up." He faces forward again and starts to mutter. "Ain't givin' up anything. Fuckin' ridiculous."

I stare at him for another minute. This is a delicate situation. I'm not sure I've ever seen someone so pissed about having a kid.

"Sit down and stop gawkin' at me kid," he sighs. "I got enough things to worry about without you givin' me that bloody blank stare."

"Well, congratulations," I shrug and take a seat next to him.

"Yeah," he grimaces, "I'm gonna get real fuckin' tired of hearing that."

"It can't be that bad," I try to comfort him.

"Yes it god damned well can." He bursts out. "I'm only thirty-four; that's too young to have a kid."

I stare at him. Thirty-four, I would say that's almost too late to have kids.

"Yer starin' again," He growls.

"Most people would be happy," I tell him.

"Yeah, well, I'm not most people." He puts his head in his hands. "Kids are fuckin' expensive. I got everything I own riding on that jackass bet."

I take in a breath. No pressure right, yeah sure. "That's..." I have no idea what to say to him.

"I'm fuckin' screwed." He mutters. "Don't you know what's gonna happen?"

I don't say anything, he's in a bad state. There's not much I can say.

He continues to mutter and growl for a few minutes. I listen but only with one ear. He may be messed up about this but I think he's lucky. He's got a wife, a decent job, and he's gonna have kids. I used to think I would be able to do that someday.

Cid's muttering slowly dies, he still looks pretty shook up though. He stubs the cigarette and promptly lights another one. At the rate he's going he'll have smoked the whole pack by the time he calms down. I'm not very good at this whole comforting thing but I feel sorry for the guy.

We're still sitting in silence twenty minutes later when a nice black car pulls up. Cid squints at it for a moment then stands up. "'Bout bloody time."

The doors open and two men step out. The first is a pretty large bald guy wearing sunglasses and gloves. The second is a scrawny disheveled red head. Both of them are wearing black business suits but the red head's looks like he just woke up and threw it on.

"Yo, old man," The red head waves. "When you gonna get a decent workshop?"

"When you pull your head out of your ass," Cid grumbles and stands up. "Come on kid, that's your sparring partner," He tells me.

I shrug and follow him over. This is going to be interesting.

"Guys, this is Cloud," Cid gestures at me. I'm surprised he didn't introduce me as kid. "Kid, this is Reno," He gestures to the redhead first. "And Rude."

Rude gives a curt nod of his head but Reno gives me a cocky grin. "So you're the Mako no one will fight with?"

"Yeah," I shrug.

"Not everyone is as fuckin' nuts as you Reno," Cid laughs. Well at least he's laughing again. "Get you're asses inside. I don't want people seein' this shit."

"Cid says you got a sword," Reno says as he falls into step with me.

"It's what I know," I tell him.

"Swords are useless," he grins. "Gotta keep up with the times."

"What do you use then?" I ask absently.

His grin gets wider and he flicks a wrist. A fat black cylinder drops out of his sleeve and into his hand. With another flick of his wrist it telescopes out into a two foot rod. "It's an Electro-Mag Rod," He hits the button on the base and a spark jumps off the top. "I use a gun too, but this is my baby."

I look at it for a moment. I've seen EMRs before but his is a new model and looks better quality. "Is the whole thing conductive or just the tip?"

He gives an evil grin. "Guess you're just gonna have to find out."

Son of a bitch, that probably means that the whole thing can shock me. Why do I keep meeting these smarmy bastards?

I grit my teeth and walk over to my bike. Well I probably won't get shocked through my sword. Between the leather hand grip and my gloves I should be protected enough. I flip the switch and catch my sword.

Reno stares at my sword for a second then grins again. "Compensating for something?"

Yes, I've heard that joke before. Very funny. I have a sword that's five and a half feet long and almost a foot wide. It doesn't matter that it's military issue, or that almost everyone who used one in my unit had something like it. Everyone thinks it's a personal choice. Like the guys who have giant trucks.

"Let's just do this," I tell him and walk over to the empty area Cid cleared for us.

"If ya break a fuckin' thing it's coming outta' yer skin!" Cid yells at us from across the hanger.

I sigh. It was his idea for us to fight here in the first place.

"Don't worry yo!" Reno calls back still grinning. "The only thing I'll be breaking is this guy's bones."

I just take a two handed grip on my sword and get into fighting stance.

Reno taps the EMR on his shoulder and looks at me. "You ready?"

"Anytime," I glare.

Pain, lots and lots of pain. I haven't sparred like that in years. I wince and get off my bike. Every muscle in my body hurts. Reno is a fast little bastard. I've got annoying little star shaped burns all over my arms and a couple of long thin lines. His whole rod conducts.

At least I had time to take a shower and change before I came to pick Tifa up. I don't think going to dinner in dusty sweat covered clothes would be all that welcome. Godo has some funny ideas about what's proper.

I pull the door of the Seventh Heaven open and bite back a groan. He just had to smack my arms didn't he. I know they're just about the only thing on me that's normally exposed but still he didn't need to concentrate on them so much. Although he did hit me in the ribs a few times too.

This is going to be a fun night. I sigh and walk into the bar.

"What the hell happened to you?" Tifa exclaims as I come into her view.

I shrug, "I found a sparring partner."

"Jesus," She rushes around the bar and comes up to me. "You look like a train hit you."

"I'm fine," I tell her.

"Bullshit," She puts her hands on her hips and glares up at me. "You're not fine." She grabs my hand and starts to drag me to the back room.

"Hey," I object. "Really, I'm fine."

She doesn't let go. "No you're not."

I sigh and let her pull me up the stairs and into her apartment. I've never been in here before. It's much nicer than mine but everyone has a nicer apartment than mine.

"Sit down," she commands.

"Tifa," I start.

"No," she turns on me and glares again. "I'm going to get something for those burns. Now sit down."

I sigh and sit down at the kitchen table while she disappears into the bathroom. There's no arguing with her when she gets like this. I watched her do it with Barret the other night. If a giant angry black man is afraid of her then I don't stand a chance.

"Alright," She comes back out with a jar of something.

"What is that?" I ask.

"It's a burn ointment." She pulls the top off and dips a finger in a pale green substance. "Just sit still."

"Tifa, I don't really need..." I try again.

"Stop," She doesn't even look up from the burn on my shoulder. "I'm going to do this whether you like it or not so just sit there and let me."

I sigh again. Well no one can say I didn't try. She smears the stuff on the burns on my right arm then moves to the left.

"What did this anyway?" She asks after a minute.

"The guy I was sparring with has an EMR," I tell her tolerantly.

"An Electro-Mag Rod?" She stops in surprise. "I haven't seen many of those."

"Yeah," I grimace. "He's got a pretty good one and he knows how to use it."

She smiles a little but goes back to putting the oily junk on my arm. "Why did you spar with him then?"

"He's the only one who will," I shrug.

"You could have asked me," she glances up at me.

"You?" I almost jump in surprise.

"What, you don't think I could do it?" She shoots me a glare.

I stare at her for a second. "Tifa, there's a big difference between accidentally breaking one of this guy's legs and accidentally breaking one of yours." I finally say. There's no way I could spar with her. No matter how good she is I would be terrified to hurt her.

"You broke his leg?" She stops again and glares up at me.

"Almost," I flinch. I really didn't mean to hurt the guy.

"What happened?"

"He didn't jump." I say awkwardly. "He'd been dodging everything I threw at him for a while so I took it a step further."

"You should know better than that," she shakes her head angrily.

"It's not that easy," I respond, looking down at her. "I've only sparred with soldiers before this. I didn't realize how hard I was hitting." I really don't want her to be mad at me.

She frowns at me for a moment then goes back to my arm. "I'm not sure that's an excuse but I'll let it slide."

I keep my mouth shut and look away from her. Yeah, it's not really an excuse but really I didn't think it would hit him. She doesn't talk either, maybe there's nothing for her to say.

She finishes up my arm. "Look over here." Her voice is a little shaky, why? Is something wrong? I glance over at her and she reaches up to my face. My brain does the thoughtless stutter that happens when she gets close to me. Before I can recover she swipes a finger with the ointment across my cheekbone and quickly turns away.

I give myself a little shake and turn away from her again. This awkward tension is really getting to me. I don't know what I thought was going to happen but it wasn't along the lines of things friends do. I wonder if this overwhelming attraction to her is ever going to go away.

She replaces the ointment in the bathroom and comes out drying her hands. "Well I'm ready whenever you are."

I sigh and glance at her. She's not looking at me, at least not directly. "Yeah," I shrug and get up. "Lets go."

Neither of us say anything as we leave the bar. Tifa waves goodbye to Johnny but there is no exchange of words. That's how the ride to the Leviathan goes, neither of us uttering a single word.

I wish I knew what caused this. What is it that effects us to the extent that neither of us can speak. Is she mad, anxious, or just awkward? I can't tell, I know why I shut down like this but I have no idea what it is that makes her do it. I've been around her a lot in the last few months and I've never seen her do this with anyone else.

Is it just that I'm difficult? Maybe she knows how attracted to her I am. Maybe she knows and it makes her uncomfortable with me. That would explain why it's so much easier for us to talk on the phone than in person.

My brain is still flooded with these thoughts when I pull up to the Leviathan. I don't know why things are difficult between Tifa and I but I need to do something about it. If we go in there like this Zack and Yuffie will attack. I swear they have a sixth sense for awkward situations.

"Tifa," I say just before I open the door.

"Yeah?" She doesn't look up at me.

I rub the back of my neck nervously. "I'm sorry."

That shocks her into looking up at me. "Why?" She asks with a look of dismay on her face.

"Uh..." Shit, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry things are awkward between us. I'm sorry I can't help being attracted to you. No, neither of those work. I don't think either of us are ready to actually vocalize this problem.

She cocks her head at me and stares up with understanding in her eyes. She's read my mind before so she may know what I mean. "Don't worry about it." She shakes her head after a minute. "It's not your fault."

"You sure?" I ask. I'm not sure what exactly is going on between us but I don't like it when we can't talk. I would normally just run away but for some reason I don't want to. I want to have a decent evening with my friends for once. I don't want to have to run because of something stupid like this.

She gives me a small smile and pats my arm. "It'll be fine."

I sigh and open the door for her.

"They're here, they're here, they're here." Yuffie squeals before I've followed Tifa all the way inside. "Can we eat already?" I catch a glimpse of her disappearing through the kitchen door and shake my head.

Godo pokes his head out the order window. "We are still waiting on Zack and his guest," he reminds Yuffie. "Come in my friends." He waves us over. "I am just finishing our meal."

"It smells delicious." Tifa smiles as we walk over to him. "What is it."

"Just an old family recipe," he waves a hand at her. "Have a seat. I will have Yuffie bring you drinks." He disappears from the window.

"Over here." I lead her to the table we normally use. She follows me over and we sit down.

"Cloooud," Yuffie whines as she comes back out the door. "Where is Zack? I'm starving." She pouts and falls into a chair.

"I don't know," I shake my head.

"But you've got to know," she starts to employ a whine that grates across my brain.

"I'm not his babysitter Yuf." I point out.

She pouts again and makes a dramatic gesture. "I'll waste away if he doesn't show up soon. The old man won't let us eat until he gets here."

"I'm sure it's not that bad," Tifa tries to console Yuffie.

"Of course it's that bad," Yuffie snorts and leans across the table. "Just you watch. When he shows up all he's gonna find is a tiny mummified body that used to be the Great Ninja Yuffie." She sighs and mumbles down at the table. "That would show him."

"Yuffie!" Godo shouts from the door. "Be respectful and get our guests some drinks."

She rolls her eyes and gets up. "You get them old man."

The usual shouting in Wutian ensues. Tifa gives me a worried look but I just shrug. This is perfectly normal between them. The argument moves behind the kitchen door and relative silence falls in the restaurant.

"Great Ninja Yuffie?" Tifa raises an eyebrow at me and smiles a little.

"Don't ask me," I smile a little back. "She's been calling herself that as long as I've known her."

"How did you meet them?" Tifa leans forward on the table and props her head up.

I look away quickly; this is a tricky situation. Tifa gives an exasperated sigh and stares at me. I can't really explain this. There are too many what ifs involved.

"One day you'll have to tell me something," she bites her lip and looks scared, as if she hadn't meant to say that.

There's an awkward silence again. Hell, this is not going well.

"Listen Tifa," I lean forward and actually stare her in the eyes. "There are a lot of things I won't talk about but this is different. This has some important reasons behind it." This is the first time I've ever even admitted that there are things I won't talk about.

She stares back at me then nods her head. "Okay, I'll trust you."

I hold her gaze for a few more seconds then break away. Any longer and I'll start to fall into her eyes again. I wouldn't normally meet them by choice but this is important enough that I needed to put extra emphasis on it. If word ever got out that Yuffie and Godo are the last remaining royalty of Wutai then both of their lives would be in danger.

Yuffie chooses that moment to come bursting through the doors. "Alright drinks." She plunks a pitcher that looks more like a vase on the table and several tiny cups.

"What is it?" Tifa asks reaching for a cup.

"Sake!" Yuffie grins and pours a small cup. "Here you go."

Tifa takes the cup gently and tries a small sip. "This is pretty good."

"Yeah," Yuffie waves a hand in the air. "We get it straight from Wutai. Zack's actually bringing a girl here so the old man is going all out."

I sigh. "Yuffie were you going to bring out anything else."

"No," She grins impishly and offers me a cup. "Don't you want some?"

"Never mind," I groan and stand up. "I'll get something myself."

"Alright," She waves cheerily and turns to Tifa. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?" Tifa asks taking another sip.

"Get such enormous boobs, mine are like mosquito bites."

I hear Tifa choke and start to cough as the kitchen door closes on me. Maybe leaving Tifa alone with Yuffie isn't such a good idea. But then, she would probably be even more embarrassed if I was out there to hear that. I could yell at Yuffie but that would only make her more determined than ever.

"Did you need something?" Godo looks up at me expectantly.

"Just getting some water," I tell him and go the the glass racks.

"Yuffie was supposed to bring some," he frowns.

"Yeah," I shrug. "She decided to skip water and went straight for the Sake."

He starts cussing in Wutain. I turn my back and pour a couple of glasses of water to hide my grin. Godo may act all honorable elder around his daughter but his mouth is almost a dirty as Cid's.

I fill a pitcher and several glasses and take them out to the dining room.

"Anyway," Yuffie makes a dramatic gesture with her Sake cup as I come through the door. "I threw the cake at him and called him a doodoo head and that's why I got expelled from that school."

Tifa has that glazed eyes look that everyone gets when Yuffie starts talking to them. "That's nice," she manages to stutter.

"Well I did paint some nasty words on the principals door too. That may have something to do with it." Yuffie ignores Tifa's answer and looks thoughtful.

"How many schools does this make?" I ask to distract her and set the water glasses down.

"Well," Yuffie looks at the ceiling and starts to tick schools off under her breath.

"Water?" I offer a glass to Tifa.

"Thanks." She takes the glass and gives me a grateful look.

The door opens and Zack strolls in closely followed by Aerith.

"About freaking time!" Yuffie bolts out of her chair and starts to lecture him. "Here we are wasting away and you just stroll in as if we're not waiting on you."

"Sorry about that," I tell Tifa while Zack is busy introducing Aerith. "She can be a little overwhelming."

"No, It's okay," Tifa shakes her head. "I like her it's just too much information all at once."

I smile a little. "Yeah, you have to say something to distract her before she gets started or she'll keep going all night."

"I can see that. She's really a handful isn't she?" Tifa smiles.

"You have no idea..." I sigh. She made no less than fifteen escape attempts when Zack and I were escorting her and Godo across the planet. Most of them were pretty easy to stop but the trip took a full month longer because of those attempts.

"Cloud, Tifa," Aerith comes over and sits down. "How have you two been?"

"Pretty much the same," Tifa smiles. "And you?"

"Nothing special," Aerith shrugs and turns to me. "Father says he's got some special guests coming in a few weeks that he wants you to meet."

Oh god no, don't talk about Gast's work in front of Tifa. "He warned me." I shrug and look down at the table.

"Aerith," Zack rushes over. He must have heard her mention her father. "Come meet Godo; he's back here." He rushes her off to the kitchen.

Great, one disaster averted. How many more will there be tonight. I don't want to spend the whole time I'm here dodging questions.

"Yuffie!" Godo yells from the kitchen door again. "Come help bring out food."

"I don't wanna!" Yuffie yells back.

A stream of Wutaian cuss words comes through the door and Yuffie makes a dash for the door screaming words of her own. Tifa and I trade a tolerant half smile as Zack leads a dazed looking Aerith out of the kitchen. The screaming continues although it's slightly muffled.

"They been at it much?" Zack asks me with a pained look.

"This is twice in twenty minutes." I tell him.

"Is that normal?" Aerith asks.

"They've been fighting every time I've met them," Tifa adds.

"It's pretty normal," Zack shrugs. "That's just the way they are."

"Well then it's going to be an interesting night." Tifa points out.

A crash echoes out from the kitchen. Tifa, Zack and I trade smiles while Aerith looks worried. It's really is going to be an interesting night.

**Hey Everybody, yes I am still alive. It's been two weeks since I last updated and I wish I had a decent excuse. Mostly I just figure I did fourteen chapters in a month and a half so I can get away with a little break. Anyway I'm sorry about the delay but it just had to happen.**

**First order of business, I GOT A BETA READER! I am super happy about this if you can't tell. So anyway thank you for saving my grammatically challenged ass Holy Wolf.**

**So I got a lot of reviews for the last chapter because it took so long to update so here's the usual round of thanks. Fairheartstrife, Shari Joy Rose, Epic Popcorn, Sacred3, MK4.Longfang and goatgod you guys are freaking awesome. I can't tell you how much your words mean to me.**

**Also welcome and thanks to all my new readers. Chipmouskin, Plushietiger and Fire Behind Your Eyes. I'm always glad when someone new comes along.**

**Side note- for all of you who were wondering this is Clouti and I promise Cloud and Tifa will get together eventually. I'm just slow moving.**

**Song for this bit - half Hey by The Pixies and half Alice by Pogo (really cool remix made almost entirely with sounds from disney's Alice in Wonderland).**

**Anyway I think that's everything. The next update shouldn't take as long (I hope) and I'll talk to you guys later. Let me know what you think of this chapter pretty, pretty please.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

"I'm telling you," Yuffie shrugs and peers down at me while I double check my brake pads. "There's no way you can beat a hunk like that."

"You're talking about Valentine again?" I ask her absently.

"Oh yeah," She grins. "I mean he's just so gorgeous. He's gotta have an advantage on you."

"Sure," I reply. I'm only listening to her with half an ear. I've got too much to worry about right now.

"He's so dreamy," She sighs and leans her chin on her hand. "All that pretty black hair and those red eyes. I could really fall for a guy like that."

I'm a little concerned. Yesterday my brake pads died. These ones are new, I don't like racing on new equipment. I like time to break it in. Make sure it's not going to cause any problems.

"And his bike." Yuffie squeals. "It's soooo cool. It's not all big and clunky like yours is now."

I smile a little to myself. Just two days ago she was practically begging me to give her a ride on my "awesome bike".

"Yuffs, he's probably ten years older than you." Zack walks up.

"So what." She sticks her tongue out at him. "He's hawt."

I stand up and look out over the desert. This time our canopy is right on the edge of the tent city that forms the races. It's much nicer being out here than the inner areas. I like being able to see the desert. Right now it's distracting though. I keep looking for a pale blue truck driving our way.

"Hello, earth to Cloud." Yuffie waves a hand in front of my face.

I shake to myself and look at her and Zack. "What?"

"I called your name like three times." She rolls her eyes at me. "When are you supposed to be at the start line?"

I glance at my phone. "About twenty minutes." I answer her but my eyes drift back to the empty desert.

"Shouldn't Tifa be here by now?" Zack asks me. Damn him knowing me so well.

"Yeah." I hastily look away from the desert and go back to checking my bike.

"Did she say she was going to be late?" He frowns at me.

"No," I shrug. "But she's bringing Barret and Marlene."

"They shouldn't make her this late. Did you try calling her?"

"No."

"Do you want me to?"

"It's fine." I shake my head and fixate on my brakes again.

He sighs and stares at me. I ignore him; this isn't a good time for him to pull his matchmaker bullshit.

"Fine, be that way." He throws his hands in the air. "We're gonna go wait in the stands."

"Alright." I answer blandly and reach for my screwdriver. It's not there. I had it two seconds ago. My eyes narrow, there's only one place it could have gone. "Yuffie." I turn and glare at her.

"What?" She asks with injured innocence. You can always tell when she's stolen something because she suddenly becomes disgustingly innocent.

"Give it back." I stare at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Give me back my screwdriver."

"I don't have it. You must have misplaced it."

"This isn't the time. Just give it back."

She rolls her eyes then tosses the tool at me. "I don't see why you need it. You've been fiddling with those brakes for the last hour. It's not like they're gonna fall apart in the next five minutes."

Zack casts a quick look at me then grabs Yuffie by the arm. "Come on kiddo, we better go or we'll miss all the good seats." He must have noticed how close I am to snapping. "Good luck." He calls back to me.

"Yeah, you're gonna need it." Yuffie shouts over her shoulder as he leads her off.

I grit my teeth and fiddle with the brakes some more. Don't get me wrong I like both of them but right now I can't deal with it. Between Yuffie assuring me that Valentine will win and Zack babying me I'm ready to smack both of them. Not to mention I'm freaking out about this race.

Last time not knowing about the Combat Race was a blessing. I only had a few hours to brood and I was sure I wouldn't win. This time it's different. The race has been lurking in the back of my head for the last few weeks. It's making me edgy and angry. I may have a better idea of what I'm doing but that doesn't make me feel better. The pressure is on now that Cid confessed his baby situation to me... And I need to beat that smarmy bastard Rufus.

I sigh and drop the screwdriver. This sulking really isn't getting me anywhere but as normal I find it hard to stop. I'm worried about Tifa, she's probably fine but I've never known her to be late like this.

I shake my head again and stand up. It's time to go to the start line. It's almost a relief. I've been so tense for days that I'm glad the race is finally here. Whatever happens it will be done soon.

I pop up the kick stand and start wheeling my bike through the dust streets. Everybody is slowly filing towards the stands. I guess the Combat Race is a big draw for them. The crowd is at least twice as big as it was last time.

People are staring at me but this time it's different. I'm not hearing them call me bad names or seeing the guarded look of disapproval at my uniform. This time I hear other things.

"Hey that's the guy who beat Chaos. What's his name?"

"Wolf of War."

"Yeah, he's got some pretty crazy moves."

"I heard he uses a sword."

"He does, it's huge. Just wait 'till you see it."

The whispering isn't very secretive. I hear every word. I don't know how to feel about it though. I've spent most of my life hearing the whispering say bad things about me. Not that these comments are good but it sounds more like awe than derision.

It feels strange. I mean last time I was here it was a hassle just to walk through the streets. Now they're making a path for me. I shake my head and ignore it. I can't let this weigh on my mind right now. I've got a race to do.

"Cloud, Cloud!" The shout distracts me as I come level with the ramp leading up the stands. I glance around and see Tifa standing on lowest bar of the railing and waving.

I smile for the first time today and go to see her for a moment. "Hey, I didn't think you were going to make it."

"Me either." She leans on the rail and rolls her eyes. "We had several disasters this morning. I'll tell you about them later."

"Barret and Marlene here?" I ask looking up at her.

"Yeah," She jerks a thumb at the stands. "They're in the seats with everyone else. We didn't have time to come find the tent."

The crowd erupts around us and I barely catch her last words. I turn to look at the commotion and see Rufus bloody Shinra strolling through the streets. He looks perfect. Not a hair out of place and his white clothing pristine in this dust city. He's not even wheeling his bike. Some lackey is doing it for him. The bike is brand new too. He must have spent a fortune on it. I don't know how he gets away with this shit. He won the last race with his other bike. Doesn't he have any loyalty to a machine that performs well?

I growl and glare at him. I really am starting to hate this guy.

"Puts on a show doesn't he." Tifa says over my shoulder.

"Yeah," I grimace. "I better go. The race is starting soon."

"I just wanted to wish you good luck." She says and leans over the railing. I look at her instinctively and our lips meet.

It's not a kiss, at least not a real one but its pretty damn close. Her intention was probably to give me a kiss on the cheek but since I turned my head it doesn't hit my cheek. It just barely hits the corner of my mouth and then she jerks back so fast she almost falls off the railing. I take a step back in surprise and stare at her. Oh shit...

She's turning bright red, I mean like a tomato. "S-s-sorry." She stammers.

I just stare. I probably should respond but I can't. My brain just went blank.

"Umm... Good Luck." She stumbles backward and bumps into the people walking up the ramp behind her. Then she turns and flees shouting apologies.

I stare without seeing, that would have been amazing if it had been intentional. Tifa kinda, sorta, almost gave me a kiss. Then my brain starts functioning again. This is getting harder and harder. Tifa is a great friend but if this continues I don't know if I can hang out with her anymore.

I shake myself and turn back to the start line. I can't think about it now though. I need to concentrate on the race. If I let myself be distracted by this I'll get screwed.

I walk slowly away from the stands and take my position on the start line. Valentine is already there and he's right next to me.

"So you did come back." He stares at me blankly.

"I've got a bet to win." I say without looking at him.

He stares for a few more seconds then faces forward. I make a point of gazing out at the track. Bravado is my only defense right now.

This is an entirely new track from last time. In fact it's a different location for the races altogether. The last race was in the middle of the Midgar wastelands, this one is right on the edge of the wastelands and the mountains. Apparently they wanted to challenge us more.

The last few racers file up. There are more of us this time too. Something must have happened between the races. Everything seems to be set up for show. There's a large banner hanging above the start line and the announcer's stage is bigger. I guess they're upgrading.

The speakers buzz as they get switched on. There are more of them and some of them are actually facing our direction.

"Welcome lads and lasses to the Quarterly Combat Race." The Announcer starts speaking. "We've got a wee bit of an announcement before the race starts."

I take a second to glance at the podium. What the hell?

"The last race was so bonny we got TV sponsorship, so this time the race will be televised." These words are issuing from what has to be the weirdest announcer I've ever seen. It's a little purple cat riding a giant deformed moogle and talking into a megaphone. "Ach, I almost forgot, I'm the new announcer Cait Sith. I'm a fortune teller by trade so let's see if I can predict the winner. Miss Scarlet if you would?"

The freaky little thing does a dance while some god awful midi music plays over the sound system. So apparently now that the race is televised we're a circus. The woman who held the starting flag last time rolls her eyes and stomps over to the thing. Its dance ends and she grabs the ticker tape that it spits out.

"Give into the good will of others, and something big will happen by summer..." She gives the thing a funny look.

"Ach... let me try again." The thing goes back into its dance. The bad midi plays again. I can see everyone shifting in their seats restlessly.

The ticker tape rolls out again and the woman snatches it away from the thing. "Be careful of forgetfulness. Your lucky color is... blue." She glares at it this time. "Forget it. Just start the race."

"Wait, wait give me another chance!" The thing begs and goes back into its dance before anyone can say anything. This time the dance and music go double time but everyone is staring. I have to admit this is ridiculous. I can hear muttering from the other racers.

The ticker tape almost shoots out of it and it grabs the tape before the woman can.

"What you pursue will be yours, but you will lose something dear?" It wails. "This has ne'er happened before, I dinnea know what's wrong."

The woman rolls her eyes and takes the Megaphone out of the thing's hands. "Racers start your engines."

All the bikes roar to life, I'm no exception. My bike vibrates underneath me as the woman in red raises the flag. Here comes the tension again. My muscles tighten in expectation but I'm not running on adrenalin yet. Looks like I'm not getting help from the Mako for this one.

The countdown starts.

3...

2...

1...

I slam my throttle open and let my bike shoot forward. I hear a few shots fired behind me but not many. Everyone is saving themselves for later. This is going to be complicated. I can already tell the track is going to have a lot of twists and turns. It looks like its going to go up the foothills a little and then circle back down. That means that this race is less about speed and more about skill. Damn, since Cid and I extended the frame on my bike my cornering hasn't been as good as it used to be.

Like last time I'm in the lead. Unfortunately so is Valentine. Right now we're running almost neck and neck on the wide track but I know the trail is going to get smaller later on. One of us is going to have to make a move to get ahead.

I'm pretty sure Rufus is a ways behind us. The longer he stays back there the better. I won't give him the chance to steal the win this time.

I pull my bike through the first wide turn and cut across the track towards Valentine. I manage to gain on him a little but it brings me within gunshot. He takes one hand off the handlebars and I drop myself to the body of my bike. Something whistles over my head and I risk a quick glance at him. Damn, he really isn't holding back this time. That would have been a killing shot.

Son of a bitch, he's serious about this. Either he's sore about last time or he thinks I can deal with deadly force. He didn't seem angry at the start line so I'm going to go with the latter. Valentine doesn't seem like the type to hold grudges. He's too cold.

I pull my bike further away from him and stay plastered to the top. The smaller target I present to him the better. He fires another shot and I swerve to dodge. I need to retaliate, but it's the same problem as last time. How do I get close to him without being an easy target? I got lucky with that trail in the canyon but I can't count on luck to do all the work.

I'm just going to have to put more distance between us. Right now it's my only option. I gun the engine and pull forward a little. It's enough to get me back out of range but it won't last long and at this speed I don't dare take a hand off the handle bars to use my sword. This is faster than I should be going. If I hit one bump wrong there's a good chance I'll wreck. But right now it's either this or surrender the lead to Valentine and I'm not willing to do that.

Valentine fires another shot but it's halfhearted and I'm out of his range. If he's going to catch up to me he's going to have to concentrate on the track not fire useless shots.

I look ahead and try to read the road. It's hard to catch the details at this speed but not impossible. This is only a temporary solution; I'll have to slow down when the track starts to go uphill. So will Valentine but he's a good rider it won't take much for him to catch up to me, especially when I have to take any sharp corners wide. I'm going to have to come up with a plan to deal with him soon.

I can see the incline start up ahead. The track is reduced to a skinny little thing. I'm really going to have to talk to Cid about improving the cornering on my bike after this race.

I know Valentine is behind me but almost all my concentration is on the road. The more speed I can get while we're still on the wastelands the better. I'm not going to slow down until I absolutely have to. I can do this, I know I can.

I pull into the first corner of the climb and drop my speed a little. My knee scrapes the ground as I lean into the curve and it almost rips me from the bike. Damn, this isn't good. I'm still going too fast for these corners and I can hear Valentine getting closer.

It's at the next curve that he takes a shot. He's on the straightaway behind me but I'm too busy trying to control my bike to do anything about it. He must have missed because I don't hear the telltale whistle. Still this isn't good, I'm a sitting duck like this and he's still gaining on me.

I pull my bike out of the turn and reach for my sword. The compartment pops open and I grab the handle as it starts to fly. I'm going to need it as a shield on the next turn. It means I'm going to have to drop my speed more but it's better than being shot.

I go into the next corner with my sword held across my back. Sure enough a ringing sound and vibration tells me that he's taking more shots. Fuck, my knee skids again and it takes all the strength I have to keep control of the handle bars. I'm not going to be able to keep this up for long. Without both hands I can't keep the speed to stay ahead of him.

I pull onto the straightaway before the next corner and scan it for something that will give me an advantage on this. The drop off on my right side is nastily steep and the dirt hills to the left are too high to give me anything to work with. Shit, what am I going to do? There's no way I can stay ahead and if I surrender lead now I'm going to have a hell of a time catching up.

I push my speed up a fraction and lean into the next corner. My bike jerks under my hand. No, gods no, don't do this now. Valentine is only a few feet off my bumper and still shooting. I do what I can to block the shots but I don't have a chance in hell. The handle bars jerk and my lean turns into a flat skid. Fucking hell, I swing at Valentine's bike as he zooms by me but it's too late.

His bike goes racing off in a cloud of dust as I come to a thumping stop against the side of the hill. Thank god this was an inside corner otherwise I would have gone sliding into open space and dead trees. God fucking damn it, I pull myself from my bike as fast as I can and stand it up. A few racers speed past me as I jump on and kick start the engine.

Bloody hell, I just had to push the speed didn't I. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I just screwed myself over. By the time I'm back on my bike and get back up to speed at least half the racers have passed me. Including bloody Rufus and his god damned bodyguard. Now I'm going to have to fight my way through all of them to catch up with Valentine, if I can even catch up.

I race along the track as fast as I dare. I can't afford to crash again. I'm still fast enough that I'm gaining significantly on the last guy to pass me. I can feel a wave of energy rise in my body. Bloody brilliant, only now, after I've crashed and have almost no chance of winning is when my adrenalin kicks in. Even with all the worrying and brooding I wasn't nervous enough about this race. Now I am, now I get help from the Mako, just my fucking luck.

The guy in front of me glances over his shoulder and sees me but I'm going fast enough that by the time he levels his gun I'm next to him. He gives me a shocked look as the blunt edge of my sword comes towards him. I'm not tying to kill him but I'm done being nice. It hits him square in the chest and he goes flying backward off his bike while it shoots over the edge of the track and into the trees.

I pass the wreck at blurring speeds and lean into the corner. That was almost too easy. He must be pretty inexperienced, better that he goes down now than dies later in the race. Besides I'm tired of this fucking around. The Mako is running hot in my blood already. I feel the familiar urge to do things no one else could ever get away with. It's time to let go of my control and just get this done.

I lean into the next corner and let my knee skid across the dirt but don't give it a second thought. That's what made me crash. I thought about this crap too much. I need to just let my instincts guide me through this, no more thought just action.

It's easier to do this without worrying about Valentine though, I had to split my attention between him and the road and it cost me. I don't need to do that with the racers ahead of me now. They're not much of a threat and I'm in that almost Zen state where everything is slowing down. I know what is happening without looking; nothing is going to slow me down.

I deal with the next three riders with as much ease as the last one. They don't even see me coming. The next one actually gets a shot off before I come up on him. I knock the gun out of his hand and slap one handlebar with my sword. He goes flying into the hill to our side and I speed past him. This is deceptively easy I need to make sure I don't get used to it.

The next two riders are together. Damn, I can see the red hair and the white suit. Bloody Rufus and Cissnei, this is actually going to require some thought. Cissnei is behind Rufus so I'm going to have to take her out first.

I frown and cut my speed a little. We're about to crest the hill, there's a pretty good straightaway at the top so it will be better to deal with them there. I'll have more room and there won't be any sharp turns to throw me off.

The path starts to level out and I make my move. Cissnei knows I'm behind her but she probably doesn't know how fast I can catch up. I open the throttle up and half the space between us in a second or two.

She glances back at me and narrows her eyes. I can see her giant shruiken in her hand. I'm definitely going to have to do something about those. Alright she won't throw it, not when she doesn't have a good shot. She can't get a good shot if she can't see me well and she can't see me well if I'm directly behind her. That won't put me in a position to attack her but it will give me some cover. Maybe if I get close enough to her bumper I'll get an attack but she'll still be right in front of me. This isn't going to be easy.

By this time we've cleared the top of the hill and gone into one of the more wooded areas. The trees are all dead but they're pretty close together if I can get her off the track it will give me time to pull ahead. I pull up behind her for a few seconds then go to her left. It's the hand she's using to steer the bike so she'll have a harder time attacking me. She raises the shruiken but it doesn't do much good. I've already got an opportunity of attack. I swing at her but it's not meant to hit her. I'm expecting her to block it and she does. I reverse the swing and cut back around towards her as hard as I can. She blocks it again but her elbow buckles a little with the force. She moves her other hand and pulls out her other shruiken.

As soon as both her hands are off the handle bars I unhook my foot and shove her bike with it. It's what I used to get away from Valentine last time but it worked. She isn't expecting it. A panicked look crosses her face and she drops her hands to the bars. The damage has already been done though. She's out of control and headed off the track.

I open the throttle again and speed past her. She'll probably be able get control in a minute but she'll have to get out of the trees to do anything so I'm getting a free minute to take on Rufus.

He pulls the bloody shotgun out as I advance and levels it at me. I swerve the shot and come up on his other side. Here's the thing about long barreled guns. They give you better accuracy but the also have better leverage. Valentine can block my blows with his gun but if I hit Rufus' gun anywhere on the end of the barrel it'll pop right out of his hands. The fact that he doesn't realize this just affirms my bad opinion of his skills.

I do just that. My sword comes down on the end of his barrel and it's ripped out of his grip. He swerves out of range for a second then darts back towards me. What the fuck is he doing, I just disarmed him. How the hell does he intend to attack me?

I pull my sword up between us; I have no clue what the jackass is doing. He pulls even closer and I hesitate to attack. He's unarmed; I don't like the idea of striking someone without a weapon. A smug little smile crosses his lips and he makes a strange punching gesture with his left hand. I catch the glint of a small hand pistol just in time and manage to bring my sword between the shot and my head.

Mother fucker, he's got a fucking holdout pistol. The cheating son of a bitch, how the hell did he get that past the inspection?

I block another shot and push my bike a little closer to him. It gives me less of a chance to dodge but it makes it easier for me to hit him with my sword. He takes aim again but I'm not giving him another chance. Cissnei will be catching up soon and I need to get past him. I bring the flat of my sword in a sharp stinging blow down on the gun and his hand. He doesn't drop the pistol but it's enough to stun him. I take another quick swipe at him. He ducks and swerves away from me. I glance at him trying to work feeling back into his hand and speed up.

It's not especially safe to have him behind me but we're nearing the end of the hilltop and I need to be in a defensible position. If I'm lucky I'll get enough distance to take me out of his range. The downhill should give me enough of an advantage to keep ahead. I say should because I'm not positive, my bike still isn't that good on corners and even if Rufus is a crappy rider he does have one of the best bikes money can buy.

I need a way to get ahead of him and I need it fast. Right now I'm just concentrating on speed instead of disabling his bike. It may come back to bite me in the ass but right now I just need to catch up to Valentine. The problem is I don't see anything. I can see the first downhill turn up ahead and it's going to cut down on my speed. The worst part is I know there are still a few riders between me and Valentine.

I lean into the first turn and cast a quick look over my shoulder. Rufus isn't that far behind me and Cissnei is just behind him. They're going to catch up pretty fast if I give them the chance. Maybe I can cut a few of the corners, the down hill slope isn't nearly as steep as the uphill was. I can see almost all the track from up here. In fact I can see Valentine up in the lead dealing with another racer.

That's it; my lips curl up into a sort of determined grin. The Mako is practically singing in my veins. That's how to get ahead.

I pull into the next corner a little tighter than I normally would. If I was trying to stay on track this would crash my bike but I'm not aiming for the track. This race is based on a lack of rules, on a lack of control over your situation. My bike runs off the track and onto the plain brown dirt of the hill. I'm hoping to skip the corners and come back on the trail a couple of switch-backs down. It's going to be hard, I'll have to take a few corners just to stay near the path at the bottom of the mountain but I'm cutting a good half the track off if I can pull it off.

My bike shudders and jumps over the plain dirt. The nice thing about the wastelands is most of the soft soil has blown away leaving the stuff hard as stone but it does mean that the bumps are worse on my bike. It's probably doing a number on my suspension. Unless Rufus is as crazy as I am he won't dare trying this and I'll get a good distance on him. It'll also put me a good chunk towards catching up with Valentine.

I rise out of the seat as I cross the first road switchback and cut diagonally across it. That's something to watch out for. If someone is coming down the road when I do that I don't want to run into them. The bumping starts again and I have to dodge a decayed trunk sticking out of the ground. When I cross the road again I take the turn and start another off road diagonal.

This is phenomenally dangerous. The switchback is here for a reason, to keep people from crashing. I'm not gathering much speed between the bumps and the sudden flat road but it's enough to be significantly more dangerous. If I crash now I'm out of the race. The bloody stupid things I do to win.

I take another corner and level out. The switchback ends soon so I can't really risk cutting the corners again. At least it put at least two of the other racers behind me. I don't see Rufus so I doubt he took my shortcut.

The hill is flattening out. I can see Valentine and one other racer up ahead. The track is opening up too. Open space against Valentine, not the best option but I don't really have any others. Their quite a ways ahead of me but I'm pretty sure I can catch up.

The other racer is an unimpressive guy in all black leather but he's almost level with Valentine so he must know his stuff. With any luck Valentine will have dealt with him by the time I get up there. I don't have a lot of time left; the start/finish line is coming up soon.

The guy in black makes his move on Valentine by speeding up and firing wildly towards Valentine's bike. Maybe his doesn't know as much as I thought. Within seconds Valentine has done something and the guy's bike goes flying. I dodge the remains and study Valentine.

Here's the same problem with going against Valentine. How do I get close to him without getting shot at? Answer I don't.

I open my throttle and advance on him. My engine roars in response and I duck low over the handlebars holding my sword in front of me. A headlong rush to him isn't really a good idea so I better make it harder for him.

Valentine aims his gun back over his shoulder and fires a couple of shots at me. One goes wide and I manage to block the other just above my shoulder. I'm closing the gap pretty fast but the track is running out. I can already see the white blur of the tent city. This is going to be close.

A few more shots come flying my way but I don't waste the energy to block them I just swerve a little and keep going. I'm only a few feet away from him and I need to be ready to attack. I put my sword out towards Valentine and urge my bike for more speed. It's already redlining but I only need it for a little bit. My bike surges forward and I take a swing. Valentine ducks almost flat over his handlebars and aims his gun straight at me, point fucking blank shot. In a split second I realize that I've given him a lethal opening. Shit, I need armor. I yank my other hand from the handle bars and jam my gauntlet up against the barrel of his gun. The bumps make this an iffy situation, I can't really keep my arm directly in front of his gun but it's the only defense I have. It's better than taking a shot in the ribs.

His gun goes off and the impact of the bullet rings through the gauntlet. My entire arm vibrates and gets forced into my ribs knocking me off balance. Without my hand on the handlebars my bike gets pushed away from Valentine again. All the breath is knocked out of me; I'm going to have one wicked bruise when this is over. Bloody hell that wasn't good. I drop behind Valentine for a second and try to recover. God damn, that hurt.

Valentine however levels his gun at me again. Then he frowns and hastily brings it back towards him. He's not firing so something must be wrong with it. That would be a blessing but I can't rely on that. He could be trying to fool me into giving him another easy shot. I gun my engine and advance on him again my sword leveled for an attack.

He lets me pull up without a shot fired and shoots a quick glance at me. The finish line is in sight I'm running out of time. I bring my sword down in a backhand slash. He blocks it with his gun, it still baffles me how he can do that. But this close I can see the damage to it. The barrel is cracked which means he can't shoot. If he does there's a good chance it could backfire and explode in his hands. Good I now have the advantage. I reverse my swig and bring the sword around behind him. I need to end this quick if I'm going to win. We're less than fifty yards from the finish line now. I can hear the crowd.

He blocks my swing again and shoots me a cold look. I return it and take the plunge. I bring my sword down across the rear of his bike cutting deep into his seat and exhaust pipes. His bike drops rapidly in speed and my sword is ripped out of my hand. I can't leave it behind though. It's military training kicking in. Never loose your weapon. Never leave it behind. I slam on my brakes and come level with him again. Now we're both disarmed.

Valentine jabs his arm out at me and I barely duck. Hell, now we're reduced to unarmed combat. I suck at unarmed combat. I mean really suck at unarmed combat. His next punch hits me in the ribs right where my bloody gauntlet got driven into them. Fuck this isn't fair, his god damned racing glove is covered in metal.

I drop back a little more and grab the handle of my sword still sticking out of his bike. It takes most of my strength to rip it out of his bike but it must have done more damage because he starts falling behind again. His metal covered hand hits me in the ribs again but the momentum isn't there because he has to duck again to avoid my sword coming over his head. His engine is spluttering though he can't keep up. I open the throttle and pull away from him.

There it is there's the finish line. I'm so close I don't think anyone could stop me now. Valentine has all but stopped so I don't think he's going to be any more trouble. I pull into the area with the stands and urge just a little more speed out of my bike. Twenty feet, ten, five, and them I'm over the line. I did it, I actually won.

I start to apply my brakes and pull off to the side. My heart is pounding out of my chest and both my ribs and my left arm hurt like a bitch. I can't believe I just won, the crowd is screaming so loud that it's making me cringe. They're cheering me? Why the hell would they be cheering me?

"Wooooo!" A slightly louder and higher pitched screaming grabs my attention and makes me look around. Yuffie is running headlong at me and waving her arms like a lunatic. Not that the motion is out of character for her. Tifa's running towards me too. She's got a grin a mile wide on her face. Good, that means the almost kiss from earlier isn't bothering her.

I wave at them as they come closer and see everyone else making their way through the crowd. They're all smiling, all happy that I managed to come in first. I'm smiling too; it's not the winning that's doing it though. I never thought that I would have this many people ready to congratulate me about anything. It's an unfamiliar feeling but I like it. These people are my friends and they are willing to come support me.

Still I can't believe I actually won.

**Wow, yes I've been gone for a little over a month. I could give you guys lots of excuses but lets just say I have my reasons and school is killing me. It's good to be back. I just hope you guys haven't abandoned me.**

**Anyway, it's my own fault for being gone for so long but my Beta Reader has disappeared. Holy Wolf if you're out there I would still like you to read this chapter and I don't blame you if you gave up on me. So I did the best I could but there are bound to be a couple of mistakes.**

**My usual round of thanks to everyone who was nice enough to review my last chapter. Plushietiger, chipmouskin, Sacred3, Fairheartstrife, goatgod, and ClotiNotCleris. I'm really happy you guys liked the last chapter and I really hope you enjoy this one.**

**Super uber special thanks to MK4.Longfang. You have been really wonderful with all your criticism and praise. I won't lie I almost started crying when I read your last review. It really means a lot to me that you've stuck with this story this long and your always willing to let me know when something just isn't right. **

**Shari Joy Rose I'm really sorry that you feel this story is dragging. I know that some places have been more filler than story and that it's taking forever for the romance to advance but I have my reasons. The story should be picking up here soon and all I ask is you give me a chance to bring it back to what you liked. I do appreciate the criticism though so don't feel bad about it.**

**Anyway, things should get a little better on the updating front from here on. I'm finally getting close to the chapter that I started writing this story on and I'm really looking forward to what I have planned. Also a steady connection to the internet doesn't hurt. I don't understand why it takes a month to get internet access moved but apparently it does. **

**Song for this bit - TRAS2 by Battles**

**Man that was a long comment thingie. I hope to have the next chapter up by the end of the week so I'll talk to you guys then. Once again thank you, thank you, thank you. Let me know what you think of the race.**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"Oh my gawd, that was so awesome!" Yuffie yells and runs in for a hug with the force of a cannon ball. "I can't believe you actually won!"

I flinch at the impact on my ribs but give her a small hug back. She's always been a little too touchy-feely for me. "Thanks Yuff," I manage through gritted teeth and release her as fast as I can.

"Seriously, and those moves, I mean wow, it was soooo cool," She babbles excitedly. I'm barely listening to her because Tifa is walking the last few feet. She's still grinning but she seems more reserved now. A flying hug from Tifa would be too much to ask I know but a guy can dream can't he?

"I can't believe you took down Chaos though," Yuffie stops babbling and glares at me. "If you hurt him I'll go all Great Ninja Yuffie on your ass. There are too few pretty boys running around for you to go spoiling their looks."

"He's fine Yuff," I say and get off my bike with another twinge of pain in my ribs. "I just messed up his bike."

I must have flinched because Tifa is suddenly frowning at me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I say ignoring the pain in my side and shake my head. "Just bruised up."

"You sure?" She asks staring up at me with those big red eyes.

"Man, I can't believe you actually pulled that off!" Zack calls walking up.

I start to shrug and can't help wincing, great every time I move it's like needles in my side. "Anything to make you lose money."

"Funny." He grins at me. "But I bet on you this time so you failed."

"Bang up job kid." Cid slaps me on the back grinning around his cigarette. "Couldn't 'a done it better myself."

"Thanks," I growl at him. That freaking hurts you idiot. He doesn't notice my tone and almost immediately starts inspecting my bike. "Who got second?" I turn back to Zack.

"Uhh..." He reaches up and scratches the back of his head grinning lamely. "I didn't see."

"If you had bothered to listen to the announcements you would know." Aerith gently slaps his arm as she, Barret, Marlene, Godo and Shera finally make their way through the crowds. "Don't you ever pay attention to anything?" Zack gives her a sheepish smile and shrugs. "It was the Playboy." She turns to me. "Then Shruiken."

"Rufus got second?" I almost choke.

Zack grins at me again. "Hey you beat him didn't you?"

"Bastard should be disqualified," I mutter.

"He's just another racer." Yuffie rolls her eyes at me. "I swear, you hold grudges way too long." Everyone else is looking at me like I'm being unreasonable.

Zack is the only one not surprised by my remark. "What happened?" He asks calmly.

"He had a holdout pistol." I answer frowning. How could they not have seen it? Wasn't the race televised?

"A holdout pistol?" Aerith asks looking puzzled.

"A backup gun," Zack supplies. "I thought you racers were only allowed one weapon."

"That's what the rules say," I answer and sigh painfully. "I don't know how he got it past inspection."

"So he was cheating?" Shera interjects quietly.

"That bastard, it's jus' like them rich types to cheat!" Barret suddenly explodes almost knocking Marlene off her seat on his shoulder.

"You're one to talk," Tifa sighs and looks at Barret. "You're getting paid a lot of money to work for his company."

"Tha's besides the point." Barret glares at Tifa but doesn't say anything else.

"Should we tell someone?" Aerith asks.

"If he hasn't gotten caught yet then we ain't gonna be able to prove it," Cid growls and points out. "Without proof we don't have a fucking chance in hell of doin' anythin' about it."

"We should tell the officials." Tifa crosses her arms and directs her glare at Cid. "Cheating is a serious offense."

"He's probably bribed them." Yuffie shrugs. "It isn't that hard." I don't even want to know how she knows that.

"Cheating is dishonorable." Godo shoots Yuffie a glare. "So is bribing."

"Cid's right," Zack frowns and shakes his head. "I didn't see anything on the cameras. If they didn't catch it then he had it planned out. He won't get caught with proof and just Cloud's word won't be enough."

I sigh and put an end to this argument. "We can't do anything about it now. We don't have proof. I'll just have to keep a closer eye on him in the future." Everyone is silent for a second as I stare at them. No one is happy with this solution but it's all we can do right now.

"Who got third?" Zack finally changes the subject.

"Don't you ever listen?" Aerith teases him. "Shuriken."

"Who's Shuriken?" He asks her puzzled.

"Cissnei," I answer him. It has to be, she wouldn't let someone get between her and Rufus and the weapon is enough to be a tip off.

The blood drains out of Zack's face. "Oh..."

"I don't like the sound of that." Aerith frowns and turns to him. "Who is Cissnei?"

"Ha ha," Zack forces out a nervous laugh. "Funny story."

I turn away from them before I get pulled into another argument. "What about Chaos?"

"Hah!" Barret lets out a guffaw and puts Marlene down. "He had to walk, ya really did a numba' on his bike."

Cid laughs out loud. "Well, you probably cut his bloody fuel line when you fucked up his bike."

"Watch it." Barret glares at Cid and raises his hands to cover Marlene's ears. "Don't you go cussin' around my little girl."

"I'll say whatever the hell I want big man." Cid glares back.

"Oh yeah?" Barret pushes Marlene behind him and advances on Cid.

"Hey!" Tifa quickly steps in between the two of them. "Behave yourselves. We're in a public place."

The two of them back off slightly while Tifa chastises them. I shake my head and bend over to grab my sheath. The movement makes me cringe and wince but if I'm going to be around Rufus I want my sword with me.

"You alright man?" Zack frowns at me.

I look hastily around at the others but no one is bothering with us. Tifa is still lecturing Barret and Cid. Shera is trying to explain the difference between racing bikes and road bikes to Aerith and Godo. Yuffie is nowhere to be seen. "Think I broke a rib," I say straightening up and wincing again. "Maybe two."

He grins at me. "Crazy bastard, how?"

"I had to block one of Valentine's shots with my gauntlet at point blank range, then he punched me with a metal glove." I say in a hushed voice. "Twice."

"I was wondering how you dodged that shot." He shakes his head.

I stop half way through a shrug again and settle with nodding. Tifa is staring at me again with a troubled look on her face. Damn, she's so good at picking up little things. I can't sneak anything by her.

The speakers click and buzz on again and a screeching wail blares out of them. "Give that back ye harpy!"

"Shut up," A voice growls.

In unison the crowd turns to the announcers stand. I follow their gaze and stare in consternation. The freaky cat-moogle thing is dancing around and jumping while the woman in red holds the megaphone out of it's reach.

"I get to do the announcements." The thing wails again.

"No, you screwed up. It's my turn." She whirls away from the thing and speaks into the megaphone while the thing tries to grab it from her. "Winners- back off you little freak!- come to the announcers stand."

By now most of the crowd is laughing. I have to admit it's pretty funny. The woman looks like a spoiled little girl yelling at one of her toys. The argument between the two continues but someone wisely cut the power to the amps so I can't hear it. I shake my head and turn away smiling a little. So much for the races looking professional.

"You better get up there," Zack shrugs still grinning.

"Yeah." I shoulder my sheath. "I'll meet you guys back at the tent."

"Good job kid," Cid grins at me. "I'll take your bike."

I wave and turn to walk away but Tifa grabs my arm "I'll come with you."

"You don't have to." I look down at her.

"No it's fine." She turns back to our friends. "See you later."

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asks once we're out of earshot.

"Tifa," I sigh. "I'm fine, don't worry about it."

She stops and turns on me putting her hands on her hips. "I know you're hurt and it's not just bruising. Stop trying to hide this stuff from me."

I don't say anything. She really is getting to know me too well.

"I'll let you go up on that stage and pretend nothing is wrong but as soon as your done we're getting you fixed up."

"I'll be fine."

"Why are you doing this? Why can't you just tell me when something is wrong?" She grabs my arm and looks up at me. "I'm your friend, I just want to help you. You don't have to hide things like this from me."

Damn, she has me trapped again. It's either be a jerk and shrug her off or agree. Shrugging her off would make her stop doing things like this but I really don't want to make her angry. If I agree I would have to talk about the many things that freak me out. Like being attracted to her.

"You don't have to tell me everything," she begs. What is it with her reading my mind? "Just stop telling me you're fine when you're not."

I don't say anything. I'm still debating between the two options. Piss off Tifa or potentially have to talk about the war. I'm not sure which would be worse.

"Please?"

"Alright," I cave and look away from her. We stand in silence for a moment too awkward to break.

"Thank you," she whispers to me then shakes herself. "We better go. Don't want you to be late."

"Yeah," I agree and start walking. We walk the rest of the way in an almost companionable silence. Not entirely comfortable but not as awkward as it usually is when things get weird between us. Maybe we're getting over whatever it is that makes us so strange around each other.

"I'll be waiting here," she tells me as we get to the announcers stand.

I nod and walk up the short set of stairs to the top. I'm not really looking forward to this. Rufus and Cissnei are already there and strangely enough Valentine is standing off to one side looking like stone.

Cissnei walks right up to me and smiles. "You're Cloud, aren't you? It's nice to meet you. My name is Cissnei." She sticks out her hand expectantly.

I stare at it for a moment. I've beat her twice and she wants to shake my hand? What on earth...?

"Okay." She raises her eyebrows and drops the hand. "What a cheery bunch you guys are."

"Cissnei," Rufus warns her, crossing his arms like a disapproving parent. Very Godo-ish if you ask me...okay, never mind, terrible image there.

"Geeze, just trying to be friendly," she mutters but comes to his call and takes a place just behind him.

The thing and the woman in red come out of a tent and make their way towards us still arguing.

"I'm telling you to give it back ye daft old biddie!" the cat yowls.

"Old?" The woman in red screeches. "Who are you calling old, you stupid robot?"

"Yer older than the mountains, Hag."

The woman in red mounts the steps and waves the megaphone in the air tauntingly. "At least I look good. You're just a deformed set of gears and microchips."

"Ach, now yer makin' me angry!" the cat yells and the moogle puts it's giant fists up. "Ye wont have them looks for long!"

"Try me, Freak," she taunts it again.

"Cait, Scarlet!" The shout comes from the ground and an unassuming man in a business suit comes up the stairs. "Stop this right now."

"Tell the doll to shut up," the woman snaps.

"Scarlet," the man warns her again. "Give me the megaphone."

She rolls her eyes but hands it over. The man turns to the cat and holds out the megaphone. "Cait, I gave you a responsibility. If you're going to be announcer you have to present a professional appearance. I can't have you two arguing on the speaker system."

"Sorry, Reeve," the cat mumbles taking the proffered megaphone and cradling it like a baby. "Oh me bairn, I'll ne'er let her touch ye again."

The man shakes his head and turns away from the thing smiling. "Gentlemen, Miss, I'm sorry for all this. I'm Reeve Tuesti. I own the majority of the shares in the races. It's an honor to have you all here."

"That's great," Rufus flips his bangs out of his eyes. "Can we get this done with, I've got places to be."

"I was hoping to have a word after the announcements. I have..." Reeve starts to say.

"If you want to talk, Reeve, I'll be in my office tomorrow," Rufus says flippantly.

"Yes, well," Reeve frowns then turns to Valentine and I. "I hope you gentlemen will stay for a word then?"

Valentine nods his head silently and looks back out over the crowd.

"Yeah," I agree.

"Good," Reeve beams then faces the crowd. "Go ahead Cait."

"Aye," the cat nods and brings up his megaphone. "Gather round ye happy people. Time to announce the winners. In third we have the bonny lass Shuriken."

There's a kind of half cheer as Cissnei waves at the crowd. Most of the people look confused as if no one knows who she is.

"In second The Playboy!" The cat continues. Once again the shouts are half cheers half boos. It at least makes more sense to me now that I know what he's like.

"And in first, our resident swordsman, Wolf of War!" The crowd explodes with cheering. They're cheering for me? When did that happen?

"It's been a bonny race, good to have ye all here. The twenty meter straightaway will be held in an hour." The cat puts down his megaphone and bows to the crowd.

At least the whole thing didn't take more than ten minutes. The crowd starts to disperse, a group of girls is waiting for Rufus but as soon as he gets off the stage they follow him. Cissnei just rolls her eyes and follows.

Reeve turns back to Valentine and I. "Now then, if you gentlemen would come over to our tent."

Valentine starts walking without a word and I fall into step behind Reeve. What would he want to talk to us about? I sigh and look around. Tifa's still standing where I left her. She's watching me with a frown but she's not doing anything. I hold up a finger and mouth one minute. She nods slightly and I enter the tent.

The inside isn't really nice but it is an actual tent instead of the canopy everyone else uses. One side is rolled up to show the dust streets but other than that it's mostly empty. A folding table is set up in the middle and littered with paperwork.

"Please have a seat." Reeve gestures to the folding chairs. "Sorry about the mess but I've been trying to get things in order."

"I'll stand," I tell him. I don't want to bend unless I have to. Walking and standing isn't that bad but my side still hurts like a bitch.

Valentine apparently agrees with me and stays standing as well.

"Alright," Reeve frowns for a second and strokes his goatee. "You're both ah... so serious... I'll get right to the point. The Combat Race has been going on for a little over three years now and this is the first time it's gotten recognition in the non-racing world. Do you know why that is?"

Neither of us speak. This must be throwing Reeve off. He seems like the kind of guy who is used to making business proposals. I doubt he's used to dealing with stone faced, protective people like I am and Valentine seems to be.

"It's because up until the last race it was just several guys shooting at each other during a race. Last Race you two, the Playboy and Shuriken gave us a show. Your skills gave us the boost we needed to upgrade the races."

"Get to the point," Valentine finally speaks in a cold voice.

"I would like to offer both of you a funded sponsorship in the races. Plus experienced mechanics and tech crews to upgrade your bikes. We need representation for the races, someone that people will respect. I think both of you would be perfect for it." Reeve states bluntly.

"Not interested." Valentine responds and turns on his heel stalking out of the tent.

Reeve blinks then turns to me. "What about you?"

"Sorry," I shake my head. "I'm only in this for the next two races." Plus I'm not interested in anyone but me working on my bike.

He sighs. "I though that would be the case. It's a pity but I had to try." He stares at me for a moment. "You're being sponsored by Cid Highwind aren't you?"

I nod silently, but why would he care? He laughs a little and shakes his head. "Good old Cid. How is he?"

Uh... this guy knows Cid? What should I say? I can't tell him I'm here because of some drunken bet Cid made with Palmer or that Shera is pregnant. "He's... Cid." Is what I finally settle with.

"Cussing and chain smoking?" Reeve smiles smugly and raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah." I shrug and take in a sharp breath. Maybe Tifa is right and I need to get this looked at. I am such a wimp without the Mako.

"You alright?" Reeve frowns.

Great, just great. Even a complete stranger can tell I'm wounded. "Just fine."He continues frowning for a moment then shrugs. "I'll walk with you. I would like the chance to talk to Cid again."

"Alright," I say blandly pretending not to care. I don't really want company but there's no non-offensive way to say no. Besides Tifa will be with us so hopefully I won't have to do much of the talking.

"Just let me talk to Cait for a second," he gives his business smile again. "It will only take a second."

I nod and walk out of the tent. Hell, I don't know why Reeve would want to come but I can't back out now. All I really want to do is go nurse my wounds in silence. I know it's not gonna happen. Zack will want to throw a party for my victory and I bet everyone will agree with him.

"All set?" Tifa comes up to me and gives me a small smile.

"Not yet," I shake my head. "The guy who runs the races is going to walk back with us."

"To the medics?" She asks surprised.

"I'm not going to the medics."

"You're hurt," she puts one hand on her waist and stares up at me. "You need to get that looked at."

"No," I say firmly. I spend enough time around doctors, I don't want to deal with some idiot medics poking my side and wondering if it's just a fracture or a break.

"You said you would get it fixed," she glares.

"Zack can do it." I stare at her with the hardest expression I can conjure. I'm not bending on this one. If I never see a field medic again it'll be too soon. I can't even count the times I woke up in a medic tent in Wutai.

She must see something of that because she looks away from me and purses her lips.

We're still standing in the terse silence when Reeve comes back. "Done, who is this?"

I shake myself and turn to him. "This is Tifa Lockhart, a friend of mine. Tifa this is..."

He steps forward with a gentleman's smile and kisses her hand. "Reeve Tuesti, It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You too," Tifa smiles warmly. I feel every muscle in my body tighten. This is no time to be jealous but I am. If I were that smooth... No let's not go there. I need to stop daydreaming about her. It's only making things worse.

"This way," I say coldly and start walking.

"So Miss Lockhart, what do you do?" Is he flirting with her?

"Oh, I'm just a bartender,"she shrugs, I don't think she's flirting back. "If you don't mind me asking, what is with that announcer?"

"Cait Sith?" Reeve smiles. "I dabble in robotics. Cait is a fortune telling machine I ran across a few years ago."

"You mean it really is a robot?" I ask a little surprised. I don't know what else it would be but I didn't think that robots were that advanced.

"Cait prefers he but yes. He has quite the personality doesn't he? His AI is fairly new so he's still got a few bugs but he's coming along nicely."

"And the accent?" Tifa asks smiling a little.

"Yes well," Reeve actually looks a little embarrassed. "What would be the fun of a robot without a little flair?"

Tifa giggles a little at this. I grit my teeth and look forward. Yeah, this is really great. I shouldn't be annoyed by this. It's not like I have a chance with her anyway.

The walk is painful and by the time we near the tent I'm ready to drop. Cid and Barret are both looking at my bike. Yuffie is running around with Marlene on her shoulders both of them screaming like banshees. The rest are gathered in a loose circle while Zack gestures extravagantly. Ten to one he's telling one of his outrageous stories.

They all look as we walk up. I brace myself for a excited babble and questioning. I just want to get my ribs wrapped and go home.

"Reeve," Shera smiles and walks forward before anyone else can say anything.

"My dear Shera," he gives a winning smile and kisses her hand too. "It is a pleasure to see you again."

"It's been so long." Shera bats his hand away and gives him a little hug.

"You got a lot of fuckin' balls to show your face around here," Cid growls and grabs Shera pulling her back.

"Now Cid," Reeve raises his hands in a conciliatory gesture.

"Don't bloody patronize me. You took my fuckin' ship!" Cid is really pissed. He's already turning red in the face and I can see his jaw clenching.

"I had nothing to do with that," Reeve replies calmly but his smile is gone.

"Nothing to do with it my ass!" Cid spits out his cigarette and shouts. "Four god damn years of hard work and shitty wages. Then you and fuckin' Shinra took 'er away."

"They went over my head Cid," Reeve tries again backing away and holding up his hands as Cid advances menacingly. "I didn't know about it until it was too late."

Cid pauses and glares for a few moments. No one says anything, Cid is abrasive enough as it is. Nothing could make me get in the middle of this right now.

"I tried Cid," Reeve lowers his hands slowly. "I spent four months trying to get your job back. I did everything I could and it got me transfered. I have to deal with Urban Growth and Development now."

There is another tense moment while Cid stares at Reeve. "Alright," he finally begrudges and reaches for his pack of cigarettes.

Shera lets out a big breath and steps forward again. "So what are you doing here Reeve?"

"Oh you know how it is," Reeve waves a hand casually, his friendly businessman demeanor back. "I made an investment several years ago and then forgot about it. Then things got interesting and suddenly I'm the majority shareholder."

Cid laughs and lights a new cigarette. "Only you could forget about something and make money off of it."

Reeve shrugs and smiles. "So who are all these people anyway?"

"Oh, I'm sorry." Shera shakes her head. "Let me introduce you to everyone."

I turn away from the group at this point and go under our canopy. This has been one crazy day. I brace myself for pain and sit down on one of the chairs. It hurts more than I thought it would. I need to do something about my ribs before anything else distracts me.

Everyone is still milling around so I take the chance to look at my gauntlet. It's destroyed, I knew it was messed up as soon as the bullet hit but not this bad. There's a golf ball sized dent deep enough to crack the metal. Hell, I don't think it's repairable.

"What do you need?" Tifa asks me quietly. I didn't even realize she had followed me.

I look up and stare at her. Then it occurs to me that I'm going to have to get all bandaged up in public. The canopy doesn't really offer much privacy and there's no place I can reasonably get taken care of in privacy. Oh shit...

"Cloud?" she asks, frowning.

I shake my head and look back down to my gauntlet. "Get Zack and see if Shera or Cid have a first aid kit."

She gives me a worried look but walks away. God, what am I going to do? Everyone is going to see and I can't do anything about it. Maybe I could just take off on my bike. My side twinges again and I dismiss the idea. Riding my bike would just make it worse and I don't want more pain. I can't go to the Medic tent either, not after the things I said to Tifa.

Zack walks up and gives me a funny look. "What's up?"

I unhook my gauntlet and stare at it for a moment. "I refused to go to the Medic tent."

He gives me a puzzled look. "So?"

"So we're going to have to wrap my ribs here." I pull the wrapping off my arm and wince at the already black bruise spread across my forearm.

Zack whistles and picks up the gauntlet. "Nasty. What's wrong with getting fixed up here? It's just broken ribs."

I glare at him, he should know what I'm talking about. He stares back at me for a moment. "Oh..." It suddenly dawns on him and he starts laughing. "You worry about the stupidest things."

I glare at him some more. "Yeah, stupid."

"Relax, all you have to say is war wound and no one will ask questions." He grins and shakes his head. "At least they won't ask you."

"Easy for you to say." I mutter. He can shrug this kind of thing off but I can't. This is going to be bad. I am not happy about this.

He rolls his eyes at me. "Is there any way to get out of it?"

"Not unless I suddenly have to go to the hospital or something." I say bitterly.

"Man don't even joke about that." His smile falls. "It's not funny."

I stare at the ground for a second. "Fine." I'll just ignore everyone and leave as soon as I get the chance. Hopefully my trademark bland look will keep everyone from asking questions.

I reach for my shoulder guard and wince again. Shit I can't even get my arm above my head.

Zack sighs but moves to help me. "You are such a pussy."

It's an old joke between us. He had to save my ass more times than I can count in Wutai. Being reckless with your life in a war has it's consequences and I can honestly say he's the reason I'm still alive. If he hadn't taken me under his wing I wouldn't have lasted a week.

"I found some bandages and a basic first aid kit," Tifa calls walking back over to us. "There's not much in it though." She looks up from the box and sees me shirtless. The box drops from her hands and I have to look away.

Here's the thing with scars. Some of them heal well, others don't. It all depends on how deep and how straight the wound was. I have lots of scars. One or two crescent shaped lumpy ones from getting shot. Several straight lines from stitched cuts or minor scratches. And then there's the two big ones.

What Tifa sees aside from the nasty bruise on my arm and the bigger one on my ribs is a giant ridged stab scar with little stitched marks on the upper left of my chest. The worse part is there is a just barely smaller almost identical one on my back. I can't look at her, not right now.

Zack ignores her staring and my refusal to look or speak. "It won't take much." Damn him and his stupid grin. It's spread across his face I don't have to look to know.

"Oh... sorry," Tifa stammers for a second then quickly bends down to gather the stuff back into the box.

I may have won the race but I'm paying for it, big time.

**Hah, a little over a week update time. This is much better than a month. I have to admit that this is a busy chapter but I had a huge amount of fun writing it. Even if everyone was argumentative.**

**Anyway, I have no idea how to thank you guys. You were all so nice about me being gone for a month it's mind boggling. But really I think this story would have dropped into null space a long time ago if you all weren't here to help me out so I owe you. **

**My usual round of thanks Mk4Longfang, Fairheartstrife, chipmouskin, Itoshii Ketsu, Shari Joy Rose, Sacred3, Eleidin, Plusietiger, MtReload, and goat god. I'm so glad you guys didn't give up on me. I can't even express how much I adore you guys.**

**Also big round of applause to my Beta Reader Holy Wolf who didn't disappear. She totally rocks.**

**Song for this bit - Wolves(Song of the Shepard's Dog) by Iron and Wine.**

**So... I'm really looking forward to the next few chapters, they're going to be fun. Hopefully that means I'll see you guys soon. Let me know what you think about the chapter, I love feedback.**


	18. Chapter 18

** this chapter is for you.**

Chapter 18

I didn't leave after my ribs got bandaged. At least, not as soon as I was planning. Tifa wouldn't let me ride my bike all the way across the desert with broken ribs. She couldn't really say anything once we got back into town but the desert was her sticking point. We ended up cramming my bike into the back of Cid's truck and I rode back with Zack, Yuffie and Godo.

The reaction to my scars was bad but not as bad as I expected. Other than a horribly awkward moment when Yuffie asked what put the 'potholes' in my chest, nobody said anything. Although the only person who could meet my eyes for a good twenty minutes was Aerith. She just accepted it like it wasn't anything special. I didn't ask why and honestly, I don't want to know because her acceptance was kind of creepy.

So here I am. It's been a little over a week since the race and I'm sitting in a hospital waiting room. At least I'm not waking up from an episode this time. The guests that Gast and Aerith have been hinting at for months are finally here. Which means I've been dragged down here to be poked and prodded for hours on end.

The door into the next room opens and Gast comes through it.

"Cloud, it's good to see you conscious." He smiles as I stand up.

Ha, ha, "Yeah." I shrug. "What are we doing today?"

"Before you go in I should warn you about my guests," he says a little nervously. "They are a bit unusual and there have been a few problems."

"What do you mean unusual?" I frown. I'm not sure I like the sound of this.

"Well..." He starts but the door gets pushed open again.

"Cloud!" A large red animal that looks like a cross between a wolf and a lion shoulders his way through the door and bounds up to me. "I knew I would see you here. Where have you been? You said you would come back and see me." The animal is bounding around my feet and babbling questions faster than I have time to react. "Did you see I got my number?" He grins a very odd feline smile up at me and turns so I can see the large roman numeral thirteen tattooed on his shoulder. "And my headdress. I'm an adult now."

I almost take a step back in shock. Red XIII here? I haven't seen him since I was stationed in Cosmo Canyon. It's been five years and he still remembers me.

"Nanaki." The sharp almost bark comes from the door and another much larger wolf/lion thing comes though followed by a small elderly man. "Adults don't brag about their status."

"Sorry Father." The younger creature hangs his head and slowly walks away from me.

I revert to my bland face and make a small bow to the group. "Master Bugenhagen, Seto Red XII, Nanaki Red XIII. May the planet bless our meeting."

The old man frowns a little then smiles at me. "Ah yes, you're that young private who went against the Gi with no helmet." I'll never live that one down.

"Cloud Strife, sir," I tell him.

"You're not still in the military are you?" he asks, a little taken aback.

"No sir."

"Then don't bother with the sir." He smiles even wider. "I so dislike the formalities the military puts on us."

"Grandfather." Seto steps forward and stares at me.

"It's fine Seto." Bugenhagen shakes his head. "There is no need to be worried about this young man. He was a fine soldier."

I cringe inwardly at that. I wasn't a fine soldier, I was a mess but he obviously barely remembers me so it doesn't matter. "Thank you." I nod slightly.

Gast finally wipes the faintly shocked look off his face and gives a bemused smile. "I forgot you served in Cosmo Canyon."

I shrug. "It was a long time ago."

"Not that long." Red XIII gives me a slightly hurt look. Damn, I didn't mean to offend him.

"A lot has happened," I say quietly.

Everyone is silently awkward for a moment. Man, I'm really not good at this social stuff.

Gast finally claps his hands. "Well, lets get started. We can all chat later."

"Yes," Brunhagen smiles. "We have a lot of work to do."

I watch them all file away for a second and shake my head. I don't know how I'm going to explain anything to Red. He and I attached in some strange way when I was in Cosmo Canyon. He was always on the hunts for the Gi. It's the sacred duty of his race, protect Cosmo Canyon at all costs. I think we attached mostly because we both felt trapped. I was trapped in the military and had only just discovered my Mako Poisoning. He was trapped by his sacred and family duties. I'm not really sure how but we slipped into this odd sort of friendship.

It wasn't really a normal friendship because Red wasn't allowed to hang out with the soldiers unless we were on patrol. But somehow I was always on the same patrols as he was, and then I was always with him when we split up for a search. He would ask me about the world outside of Cosmo Canyon and I would ask him about the customs there.

When I found out about my transfer to Wutai I promised I would come back and see him but that never happened. I should have but when I got discharged I felt so different from the idiot teenager I had been that I couldn't bring myself to go back. Then I just never got around to doing it.

I follow them through the double doors and head for the changing area. I've been in this room a dozen times but it still impresses me. Every surface is covered in testing supplies and chemicals that are crammed around strange medical machines there's even a cat-scan in here. It's Gast's personal laboratory. I don't know how the hell he affords it but, apparently he gets a lot of grants from the military. They want better, more stable soldiers.

"Where would you like to start?" Gast turns to Bugenhagen. I tune them out almost instantly. I won't be able to understand most of what they say. I learned how to read a medical chart but that doesn't mean I understand their technical babble. If I listen hard I could probably understand a little but that would just make me more curious and then I would have to try to get them to explain. That never takes less than a few hours so I'm not going to bother.

Red follows me over to the examination table and stares as I start to strip my boots off. I try not to look at him, I don't know what I'm going to say.

"Why didn't you come back?" He cocks his head at me.

I stop moving for a moment and try to come up with a decent answer. "A lot happened," I finally say and continue taking my boots off.

"You said that. What happened?"

Damn, I hate questions. "I fought in a war Red."

"Was it that different from hunting the Gi?"

I sigh and look at him. "The Gi are nasty little monsters that have a four word vocabulary... It's very different."

"Father says that the battle with the Gi is a war," he states calmly.

I stand up and pull my shirt off. Even now Red is just a kid, his species ages about one year for every three humans do. That would make him about fifteen now. It feels wrong to tell a kid the gory details. "When someone gets killed by the Gi you think 'those little bastards, they're just vicious monsters'. When someone gets killed by another person you can't find any logical reason to justify it," I finally tell him.

He cocks his head at me and stares again. Then he suddenly pops onto his back legs and puts one giant paw on each one of my shoulders. His face comes level with mine and he looks into my eyes. It feels weird, he's got a predator's eyes. Most people are uncomfortable around his species, I think I suddenly understand why.

He stares for a few more seconds then drops to the floor. "You've changed."

I stand frozen for a second then attempt to shrug it off. "Five years is a long time for me."

He shakes his head and gives a little laugh. "Humans. You still could have come back."

"Things were really messed up when I left the military." I turn away trying to find an explanation and continue to undress. "I wasn't ready." Did that just come out of my mouth? Since when do I give real reasons instead of brush off excuses?

He gives me a uncomfortably knowing look. "Are you ready now?"

I could make all kinds of excuses but I know he won't believe me. I remember that was the strange thing about Red. In a way he's older than me and younger than me at the same time. He has these little displays of childish behavior that reminds me of a puppy then he's suddenly all smart and serious like I would expect an adult to be.

"I don't know." I answer him shaking my head. I really don't. Realistically I've been getting better about a lot of the things that happened to me but I still have these god awful reactions. Case in point how I thought the reaction to seeing my scars was going to be and how I reacted to them being seen.

He stares for a few more minutes while I finish getting into the hated hospital gown. The silence stretches thin and I hold my breath. One of us needs to say something, anything to break the silence but I don't know what I could say that would make things all right.

He finally gives me a mournful look and the puppy part of him shows in a whine. "Can we still be friends?"

"Yeah Red." The tension flows out of my shoulders, I hadn't realized it was there. "We can still be friends."

He wanders away and I submit myself to the tests. Gast gives me an endorphin shot. It's an easy way to guarantee that my Mako will come into action. I don't like artificially activating it but there's no point in doing tests when it's not there. Then Gast runs through the basics, heart rate, reflexes and blood samples.

I'm always fascinated by blood samples. It sounds morbid but watching my own blood fill the little tubes is kind of neat. I know lots of people who can't even look at the needle but I like watching it happen. You forget the pain and just stare for a little bit. It takes you to this little place where all you think about is how strange it is to see your own blood and not be wounded.

Also my blood is one of the few comforts I still have. I can look at it and say it's the right color, it flows at the right speed, that means I haven't changed that much. I'm still human.

That's one of those things everyone asks when they get the Mako Injections. I'm still human right? As if we're all afraid to become something else. Mako is a strange chemical that no scientist has ever really been able to explain. We know it exists naturally but no one really knows why the earth randomly sprouts a glowing blue/green spring in little secluded places. Everyone is a little afraid that getting a Mako infusion will fundamentally change what we are. That we'll become not quite human anymore.

The thing is even though I know there's Mako in my blood I can't see it. It still looks like normal blood, just like everyone else's. So when I watch my blood I can look at it and forget for a few seconds that I'm all screwed up.

After that I get subjected to all the weird medical machines Gast has. He always makes sure that I get an X-ray, a Cat-scan and other things like that because any little thing could make a difference to his research.

I volunteered for this because Gast asked me to. He really thinks that enough of this kind of thing will lead to a cure for Mako Poisoning. I don't believe him. Or at least not that it will happen in my lifetime. We have several thousand years of human civilization and there's still no cure for the common cold. Mako Poisoning is a relatively new disease, if you can even call it that, it's going to take more than a decade or two to find any kind of treatment. Even one that just deals with the body shutdown.

Most of the Mako Poisoning cases here in Midgar are hesitant to help him out. Living with the possibility of dropping dead has some strange effects on how you act. I'm no different, it's scary. But the first time I met Gast he came straight out and said what he knew.

_"I don't know how to cure it. I don't know what it is about Mako that you react badly to. It's a likely probability that it will kill you in the next five years and if you live beyond that the chances will only go up. I'm trying to find a cure. I've got a few theories that may do something but it's not a guarantee. My research might make the chances of you dying higher. It may not but either way I need help. "_

His words shocked me, no one had ever been so blunt about it before. I knew that I would probably die from this but somehow having someone say it made it so much more solid. Later I came to appreciate his bluntness. It never gave me false hope but he believed he could find a cure with enough time.

So I said yes. I come down here every six months or so and submit myself to all kinds of weird tests. It's not thrilling, but it's necessary. I'm not fooling myself into thinking that one day he'll suddenly shout 'Eureka!' and there will be a cure but at least we're doing something.

By early afternoon we've finished putting me through all the machines and I'm mostly dressed again. This is when things actually get interesting for me. It's time for the physical tests. Gast injects some more endorphins into me and I get plastered with electrodes so he can keep an eye on everything I'm doing. It's time for the training room.

The training room is easily the most impressive thing that Gast has wrangled out of the military. Even when I was a soldier I only got to use one a handful of times. They are almost fully holographic. To the extent that you can feel it when you run into something. Really, really expensive technology. So expensive that the military used to only use them for Special Ops. I don't know exactly what he did but I still find it hard to believe that he got one from them. It probably has something to do with the power vacuum created when Heidegger got taken down.

Gast gives me the thumbs up and the room suddenly comes together to create a scene. I know for a fact that you can get some amazingly realistic results from some of the training programs that the military has but this isn't one of them. It's a weight lifting room. No, it's exactly the same room as it was before but now there are exercise machines in it. One of the most advanced pieces of technology in the world and I get this. It just seems like a monumental waste.

I shake my head and start the exercises. I have to resist the urge to max the weights just for the hell of it. Ah, the wonders of Mako.

Like I've said before there are some good things about the Mako. Like when I get into the rhythm I can do over sixty squats a minute. Or with a decent speed I can run straight up a twenty foot wall. I don't do things like this much, not since I left the army. Mostly I'm just not presented with the chance unless I come across some particularly nasty monsters on one of my runs outside the city. But the Mako is still there and when it rises I still get the rush that tells me I could do almost anything. I get urges too. Urges to do crazy things like jump off a skyscraper just to see if I could survive it.

Provided I can get some exercise I usually can work these urges out of my system. Although in the military it wasn't always so easy. I got a reputation as one crazy son of a bitch over in Wutai for giving into these urges. I remember running across a mine field once just because I thought I could. If I hadn't been pumped so full of Mako that I could double my speed I wouldn't have survived. As it was I still got a week of hospital time for a concussion when one of the mines went off and the blast sent me flying. That's one of the reasons Zack had to save my ass so many times during the war. He was the only one who could talk me down from doing the stupid things I felt the need to do.

I've got a handle on it now that I'm not in the soldier mindset but every once in a while it's very hard not to just do something crazy. That's probably why I keep pulling such stupid stunts during the races.

I'm about half way through the tests when Gast gets a phone call. He presses down the intercom button, "Cloud, go ahead and take a break. Lunch is on it's way up."

I stop what I'm doing and grab a towel to wipe the sweat off my face. These exercises aren't really hard but they're just enough to make me tired.

"So you think it's something other than DNA that determines Mako Poisoning?" Gast asks Bugenhagen as I walk out into the lab again.

"Look at the patterns," Bugenhagen points a sleeved hand at some papers. "Everyone who has been afflicted has accomplished something that no normal human could do."

"That's because they have Mako." Gast frowns, a little annoyed.

I sigh and grab a chair near them, Red and Seto are nowhere to be found.

"No," Bugenhagen shakes his head. "I'm talking about something different. Look at the reports, what would have happened if Genesis hadn't been at the palace battle? The Palace would have been lost along with the foothold your army had on Wutai."

I flinch at the mention of the palace battle. Yeah, Genesis won it for us but he died there too and as far as I'm concerned the bastard deserved it.

"Look at Kaiser," Bugenhagen continues. "He prevented the explosion of the first reactor. If he hadn't all of Midgar would have gone up with it. All of these people have done something extraordinary that prevented a massive loss of lives. These people were chosen."

"Chosen," Gast scoffs then frowns, "Are you talking about that Lifestream thing again?"

Bugenhagen doesn't look offended which surprises me. Red told me a little bit about the Lifestream. It's part of the beliefs of the people in Cosmo Canyon and they are pretty defensive of it but Bugenhagen seems perfectly calm.

"Yes," he simply nods.

Gast's frown deepens. I edge away from the two of them slightly. I don't think that either of them would do anything drastic but I really don't want to get caught up in an argument. Especially one that has to do with religion. It's a touchy subject at the best of times and right now definitely isn't the best of times.

"This is science, faith doesn't have a place here. We research things with cold hard facts, not dreams." Gast taps his fingers against the table in frustration. Not good, maybe I should go back into the training room...

"There is nothing wrong with a little faith," Bugenhagen responds calmly and turns to me. "Isn't that right, young man?"

I start back in my chair, pushing it back from the table a little. Okay, I know several of the soldiers in Cosmo Canyon converted to their religion, especially once the war broke out but I wasn't one of them. It's hard to believe in a higher concept when you go through some of the shit I have. "Uh..." I stutter, why would Bugenhagen think that I would agree with him? He barely even remembers me.

The door pushes open and Red, Seto and Aerith walk in. My brief moment of relief from the gazes of Gast and Bugenhagen is broken into a thousand fiery shards. Aerith, how did I not see this coming? She's Gast's freaking daughter of course she'd come here. Okay, so hoping she didn't know about my Mako Poisoning was a long shot in the first place but if she didn't know before she will soon. There's no way I can come up with a convincing story without one of the others telling her the truth. So much for my so called secrecy.

"Lunch is here," she announces cheerily and puts the bags she's carrying down on the table. "Hey Cloud."

` "Hey," I sigh and drop the idea of somehow covering my ass. I'm screwed as far as this situation goes.

I keep my mouth shut and take the proffered meal. Red sits down next to my chair and stares up at me while I unwrap my food.

"So you live here in Midgar now?" he asks, cocking his head at me.

"Yeah," I answer blandly. His remark seems harmless enough but difficult conversations seem to be the theme for the day.

"What do you do?"

"I work for a delivery company."

"What's that like?"

"It's pretty simple," I shrug.

"What else do you do?"

"Not much, I mostly just work. I have a few friends I see now and then."

"Don't let him fool you Nanaki," Aerith interjects. "He races his motorcycle."

"Really?" Red glances up at her.

"Yeah, he's really good at it too." She continues. "He won the last race."

I stop talking at this point. One of the things the endorphin shots do is use up most of the sugar in my blood stream which means I'm freaking starving. I would much rather eat than have a conversation.

Aerith and Red continue to chat while I pack away at least twice as much food as I normally would. I'm not really listening to them but mostly it's just talk about the city and what it's like to live here. I have to smile about that a little, Red has always been fascinated with cities and life outside of Cosmo Canyon. Gast and Bugenhagen have their heads bent over some readout from one of my tests, all ideas of food and eating obviously forgotten. Seto has settled in a kind of guard dog stance near the door where he can watch everything. I focus on the food. Carbohydrates are my friend right now.

"So Daddy, how is the research going?" Aerith asks once the three of us have finished eating.

"We're still trying to find the cause." Gast shakes his head. "We know what determines who is affected by Mako Poisoning and who isn't but we still can't figure out why. Take Cloud for example, he's a perfectly normal human being with a slight variation in his DNA. I know that that variation is the reason he is susceptible to Mako Poisoning but none of the other people affected have the same variation. In fact none of them even have similar variations."

I feel the blood drain out of my face. There it's out in the open, I have bloody Mako Poisoning. Not that everyone in the room didn't already know but I was still harboring a little hope that Aerith wouldn't find out. I don't really like people knowing about this in general but it would be very easy for her to tell Tifa. I just don't want that look of pity and horror that I get whenever people find out to come from Tifa.

Gast continues to talk but he's getting more and more obscure and technical. I don't understand much beyond the first few sentences. Why is it that everything I get involved with in the last few weeks turns into a difficult or awkward moment.

Aerith's eyes catch me from across the table and the usual pity is obviously in there. Hell, I can't take this.

"I'll be right back," I interrupt Gast's analysis and stand up. They all stare for a second but as soon as I'm out the door the medical babble starts up again.

I take a few steps into the waiting room and come to a halt. I don't really have a reason for leaving the room other than the look on Aerith's face. I just didn't want to be in the lab anymore.

"I won't tell anyone you know," Aerith says quietly coming through the door.

I don't respond to her. I came out here to be alone, I don't want to talk.

"I've known for a while now." She gives a half shrug and takes a few steps forward. "I haven't told anyone so far."

"Did Zack tell you?" The bitter words leap out of my mouth before I really have a chance to think about it.

"No," She shakes her head, "Father told me about it when he found out about Zack."

I reach up and rub my face, this isn't going well. The adrenalin is still in my system so I'm getting worked up for almost no reason.

She pats my shoulder gently and gives me a small smile. "I'm sorry, I know you don't like to talk about it."

"It's okay," I sigh and step away from her a little, physical contact isn't something I'm comfortable with right now. I just want to be alone.

There's a few moments of complete silence. Like I said, difficult conversations.

"Have you talked to Tifa?"

Aw hell, Tifa is something I've been avoiding even thinking about this last week. She didn't say anything about my scars after the race but I know it's bugging her. I know she has questions she wants to ask me but she doesn't. The situation is turning into a double edged sword. On one hand it's good to have someone who knows when to keep their mouth shut. It's one of the reasons I like talking to her. On the other hand it makes things worse for our friendship. It's like I've built a wall around all the stuff I refuse to talk about. It's become a habit to just not answer when something I don't like comes up.

The wall is becoming a problem though. We've hardly talked since the race and when we do it's difficult. We're even having trouble talking on the phone, which has never happened before. Any time we try it just reverts into shallow comments and awkward silences. Too many unanswered questions I guess. It sucks. She's one of the few people I can really talk to, even if it's just something stupid that we'll forget in ten minutes.

The thing is I want her to know about this shit. I sure as hell don't want to talk about it but I'm getting tired of hiding it. I guess I just want her to know and have nothing change between us. Not that that's likely to happen. There's a good chance she wouldn't believe what I've been through. I mean not even my commanding officers believed me until they found the proof. And even if she did I think she would reject me. There are a lot of things I did during the war that I'm not proud of. Some of them were pretty minor but the others...

"Cloud?" Aerith frowns worriedly at me.

I shake my head and rub the back of my neck. I need to stop letting my brain sidetrack me like that. "Sorry, not for the last few days."

"She's really worried about you."

I don't answer.

"That's why you don't want anyone to know isn't it." She says quietly. "She doesn't know and you don't want her to."

I clench my fists and refuse to look at her. Days like today are when I remember why I don't have many friends.

"Listen, I know it's a hard situation but you need to learn to live past it." She stares at me some more. "I would like to know the real you."

I jerk my head up and stare at her. The real me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?

"I mean..." She turns and stares out the window. "There's something different in you. Something that makes you special. Zack sees it and I think... I think Tifa does too but I don't. It's like everything you've gone through has walled you up inside. Like the real you has been buried for so long that you don't remember who you are anymore. I know Zack has a reputation..." She blushes a little. "But I think we have a chance and if we do then I want to know his friends. I want to be your friend."

She drops into silence after that. I don't know what to say. The real me, which one is that? The wimpy little kid that used to get beat up all the time in Nibelheim. The angry teenager that lashed out at everybody in Junon. The desperate and crazy soldier in Wutai. Or the emotionless, stone faced ex-soldier that I know I appear as now. I don't know which one is real, it's always been a front to make people leave me alone.

"I guess I'm just trying to say that you don't need to hide things from us anymore." She breaks the silence while I'm still trying to figure out what the hell she means by that little lecture and heads for the door back into the lab. "We just want to be your friends."

-

I pull up to the Seventh Heaven and hesitate. It's almost one in the morning. I should go home and get some rest but I ended up here instead.

I've been riding around on my bike thinking since we finished up the tests. I didn't really intend to come here, not tonight but in my aimless driving I found myself automatically pulling up to the parking lot. Aerith was right, I do need to talk to Tifa. I've let the awkwardness go on to long.

The bar is pretty empty. Tuesday night so they've probably already done last call. I don't bother being indirect, I don't have the energy for beating around the bush right now. She's standing behind the bar drying glasses. Her eyes meet mine as I walk up to the bar. I don't know what she sees in mine but hers are full of something I can't even begin to describe. Whatever it is it makes me feel like I've been kicked in the gut.

"Johnny," She calls out without looking away from me. "I'm going to take a break, I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Oh yeah, sure, just leave me here all by myself while you sneak off with your pretty boy." Johnny mutters and shakes his head.

She whirls on him, already turning at least five different shades of red. "Don't make me tell Barret about that red head on thursday."

"Fine," He sighs. "I work and slave all day long and now your going to blackmail me?"

I turn away at this point. He's just annoying her and I don't want to deal with it. I make my way through the bar and out the back door. She'll know where I am. It's funny but almost every conversation we've had in person has been out on these steps. It's the only place we can be alone when she's working. Also it's a strange place of calm in the middle of this city. The garage and surrounding buildings block out most of the noise and lights from the street and the light out here has a dead bulb that somehow never gets replaced.

I sit down and rub my face. I really should be sleeping right now. Normally it wouldn't affect me much but after all those endorphin shots I'm spent. All of my adrenalin has fled leaving me exhausted and shaky.

The door opens softly and I hear her come through it. I don't look though, it's just going to be harder if I look at her. She sits down next to me without so much as a word. I don't know how to start this conversation. I'm sorry I'm a defensive, emotionally scarred jerk? No, admitting that is not something I'm ready to do.

"You're not going to tell me about those scars are you." She states it like a fact. It's something she already knows and she's just affirming it.

"No."

Another minute of tense silence. Maybe that wasn't the right response but it's the truth. I risk a quick glance at her, not good. She looks sad, disappointed.

"Was it really that bad?"

Man, how to answer that. Lets see, you're in a strange country where more than half the people are craving your death, you've got some stupid disease that makes you even more deranged and careless with your life than anyone else and your commanding officer... No don't think about that. I push the rising memory down and mentally bury it. I still don't have an answer for her.

Tifa sighs and leans back on her elbows a little and sighs. "Let's make a deal. I won't ask about the scars but in return you have to tell me about something else."

"What do you want to know?" The chances of her coming up with something worse than the scars is pretty slim but it's still there.

She frowns for a second. "Explain the tattoo."

Tattoo?... Oh yeah, I always forget about that freaking thing. "It's a military thing." I shrug.

"Can I see it again?"

I bend my head forward and lift the back of my collar to expose the pack of running wolves lead by one giant white wolf silhouetted across my shoulder blades. She gets on her knees and peers down the back of my shirt, one hand on my shoulder. I can feel her breath on the back of my neck. She's not really that close but it's a little chilly so the warmth makes a stark difference.

"What are they for?" Her hand pushes my hair out of the way.

I clench my jaw a little then let it go. It's okay I can tell her this, it's not a good thing but it's nowhere near as bad as the scars. "One for each battle I survived."

That makes her pause, I know what she's thinking. There are fourteen wolves including the white one. The sad part is that's not even all of them, just the major ones. There were a lot of small skirmishes that weren't enough for my fellow troops to consider worthy of recording.

"And the white one?" She barely breathes. Her fingers are just barely brushing my hairline.

My brain kind of blanks out for a second, I don't know if it's because of her touch or because of the white wolf. That's the one that gets me every time. I know what happened but it's like my brain took that particular experience, locked it up and threw away the key. I don't remember much of it but what I do remember is lots and lots of blood.

"My final battle." I say woodenly. I don't care what kind of deal we made that's all I'm saying.

We both fall into a frozen silence. I can feel her tense up. It's then that I realize how close we are. She's kneeling next to me and holding my shirt away from my back so she can look down it. Her fingers are gently tangled in my hair and she's breathing on the back of my neck. There's this overwhelming feeling of deep intimacy. Like we're used to casual affection. Like we know each other so well we don't need to speak. Like... like we're together.

Apparently this occurs to her too because she suddenly drops my shirt and backs away from me. The almost kiss suddenly pops into my head. We never really talked about it, not with everything that happened after the race. I think we've both been pretending it didn't happen.

She stares for a moment then sits back down. "So they're reminders of battles where you survived but other people died?"

"Pretty much." I pull my shirt straight again and shrug.

"No offense but that seems kind of morbid," She gives me a faint smile as if to apologize.

"It wasn't my idea."

She gives me a sidelong half grin. "They're your tattoos how is that not your idea?"

"It's tradition," I rub the back of my neck. "Every unit has some kind of icon, like Cid's fighter jet."

"So you have it because of tradition?"

"I don't know." I look away from her and remember that first battle. "It happened so fast I hardly knew what was going on."

"What do you mean?"

I think about it for a second. I'm going to have to open up a little bit if I want things to be alright for us again and this is as good a place as any to start. "I'd only been there for a few weeks and there was this big attack on our base. It was... Crazy I guess. People running everywhere, screaming, shouting, gunfire. Completely disorienting. Then a bullet hit the wall a few inches from my head and suddenly I was on the ground firing back. The next thing I knew it was over and I was surrounded by guys cheering and slapping me on the back. Then they pulled out this jury rigged tattoo machine and gave me the first one."

"And you just went along with it?" She says bemusedly.

"I didn't even think about it." I shrug. "I was just happy to be alive." I was also so freaking high on my first Mako rush that I didn't even notice the needle.

"So you got the whole set?"

"More or less. It was just something that happened. Get massively assaulted, fight them off, go get another tattoo. Something about war affects your brain. You don't think about the future or even the next day. It's just what you do."

"I used to wonder about that," She pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around them. "When I helped out at the hospital all the soldiers seemed dazed. Sort of like they didn't understand everyday things. As if they didn't remembered how to live in the real world."

I nod. "Kind of like that but the stress is what really gets to you. You live for so long with the expectation of dying that everyday things seem trivial." I shake my head. "I don't know it's hard to explain. Your brain doesn't work like it should. Last year I went through the letters I sent to my mom while I was over there. I remember writing them, I remember what was going on but I'll be dammed if I understand a single one of them."

"It sounds..." She starts then trails off.

"Yeah," I know what she means. "There's no real way to describe it. It's a whole different world."

She smiles a little. "Tell me something good about it."

"Huh?" I look over at her.

"Tell me something good about Wutai. It can't have all been bad."

I pause for a second. Something good about Wutai... "The food."

"The food?" She laughs. "Do all guys think with their stomach?"

"No really," I shake my head at her. "They've got all kinds of different stuff there. What Godo makes isn't a dent on their normal meals. They'll eat anything and I mean anything. Turtle, Shark, Thunder Bird."

"Thunder Bird?" She makes a disgusted face. "Aren't those monsters?"

"Yeah, It's actually pretty good." I smile at her.

"Yeah right." She laughs. "What else was good?"

I can see what she's doing. Maybe I should be upset that she's doing it but I'm not. She's trying to give me something in Wutai that I can talk about instead of all the bad things. Something I can be glad of.

I try to think for a moment. "The whole country is beautiful. There are all these lush jungle areas complete with exotic birds. Even the rice patties look pretty in the spring. The buildings are neat too although the paper walls are odd." I stop for a moment, there's one memory that's particularly strong when I think about the country side. "I got to see the Dao-Chao before the bomb."

"That must have been amazing. What was it like?"

"Big... No picture can really do it justice. There's a path that goes up the side of it's body so you can climb to the top."

"Did you get to?"

"Sort of," I shrug. "They didn't really want foreigners on their sacred ground but I got up there once. The royal family was concerned that someone would try to vandalize the Leviathan caves, their right behind Dao-Chao's head, so my unit ran guard duty for a little while..." My voice dies away as I realize that this subject could be embarrassing.

"What happened?" I glance at her, she looks worried.

"Nothing bad." I shake my head.

"Well then what was it?"

"It's not important."

"Tell me." She's smiling now.

"It was nothing."

"Now you have to tell me."

I sigh and roll my eyes. "You're not going to stop asking are you."

"No, now spill." She's downright grinning.

I give her an annoyed look. "It's just something stupid."

"Then you can tell me."

"Fine, I did guard duty there for a week or so. We weren't allowed to go on any of the other paths just where the caves were. There were always some of the Royal Guard around to keep watch on us. There was this one night, someone tried to sneak into the caves. It turned out to be some grubby villager or something who wanted to go a pray but it got everyone all riled up. Especially the Royal Guards. They were all edgy and nervous because most of the enemy looked like grubby villagers."

"Anyway, they got distracted and left me more or less alone. I uh... Snuck off for a few minutes to have a cigarette." Admitting that I abandoned my post for a smoke isn't that bad but the statement is still accompanied by a certain amount of embarrassment.

"You smoke?" She interrupts me looking surprised.

"Not anymore." I give her an aggravated look. "Do you want to hear this or not."

She mumbles something like sorry and looks suitably chastised. I shouldn't have snapped at her but it's a touchy subject. The biggest reason I quit was because after Wutai the mere smell of cigarettes can send me on a PTSD attack. But the close runner up was because everyone and their mother seemed to feel that it was their duty to inform me how much damage it was doing to my body. Which is real annoying when your trying to avoid interaction with people.

I shake my head and continue. "I somehow ended up on the path down to the hand under Dao-Chao's face. Everything was dead silent and I could see the whole city. It was... I don't know. Kind of like this island of peace in chaos."

"I know what you mean." She smiles a little. "I used to get the same thing when I would climb Mt. Nibel. Everything seems so far away you could just forget about it for a little while."

"Yeah," I stare at her for a second, we're both sitting here talking amiably and smiling so something must be right. She looks up and meets my eyes. I don't know what it is about her that makes me feel so unbalanced but she does. One minute I can actually be relaxed and smiling and the next I'm terrified to say something that might make her think less of me.

"What are you doing on Friday?" She asks suddenly looking away from me.

"Friday?" The sudden change in subject throws me off track and I blink stupidly at her.

"You know, Shinra Day."

I roll my eyes and look forward again. "I can't believe we actually have a holiday for them."

She giggles. "I know, it's kinda pathetic really. What are you doing?"

"Nothing I guess." I shrug. "I think we're closed for the day."

"I'm going to take Marlene to the parade. She's been a little lonely since Barret's been gone so much. Wanna come?"

"I don't know." I scratch the back of my head. Marlene was still terrified of me the last time I saw her so it's probably not that good an idea.

"Come on," Tifa smacks my arm playfully. "It'll be fun. I promise."

The back door bursts open and Johnny glares at us. "Tifa," He puts his hands on his hips and fumes. "You said a few minutes not half a god dammed hour."

"I'll be in in a minute." She gives him an apologetic look.

"Whatever," He turns away and stomps back inside muttering.

"Sorry," I say to her still staring at the closed door.

"Don't worry about it." She shrugs. "He's just being a drama queen. There's nothing in there tonight that he can't deal with."

We sit in awkward silence for a minute.

"So you'll come?" She finally asks.

"Yeah, I'll come." I give her a fain smile.

"Good, I'll call you later." She smiles and gets to her feet.

"Tifa," I call out just as she opens the door. "We're okay now right?"

She pauses for a second. "Yeah, we're okay."

**I know, I know, I've been gone a long time. It's been a weird month. First I came down with something I affectionately dubbed 'The Death'. Then there were midterms which included no less than four art projects. This is what I get for being an Art Major. And then there was the chapter. I swear I've had to rewrite this thing like eighty times. Well, more like four but it felt like eighty. I swear I am never writing a conversation between Red XIII and Aerith again. They have got to be the two hardest characters for me to get right. So anyway, I'm sorry for this taking so long but I hope the extra long chapter helps to make up for it. Also sorry for the cliffhanger last time. I usually don't do that kind of thing but it just felt right.**

**The usual thanks all around. Alyde, chipmouskin, Sacred3, MtReload, goat god and Shari Joy Rose. I don't know where I would be without you guys.**

**Eledin this fic is entirely from Cloud's point of view but I was thinking of doing some much shorter bits from Tifa's point of view later. If anyone wants to see that let me know and I'll write some.**

**Plushietiger I know that broken ribs can make it hard to do anything but I took a little artistic license with it this time. However don't let that stop you from correcting me in the future. I love getting corrected, it makes my writing better.**

**Special welcome to my new readers DjABC, Knightof Wattala and Vixi. I'm so glad you guys like my story, it really means a lot to me. I'm happy to have you guys on board.**

**In other awesome news. This story broke 100 reviews with the last chapter! I honestly never thought I would get that many. It is so wonderful I was squealing with excitement. (I know I'm kind of a dork.)**

**Song for this bit - Blue Monday by New Order.**

**Thank you all so much for being patient with me and giving me a chance to make this chapter actually worth reading. Super hugs for everybody.**


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm back. Explanations are at the bottom of the page. Don't kill me... Please?**

Chapter 19

Aw hell, this is impossible. I stand on tip-toe and attempt to scan the crowd again. Alright it's Shinra's 50'th anniversary and I'm standing on a crowded sidewalk and trying to spot Tifa and Marlene in it. It's not working, so far I've counted twelve little girls in pink and five of them with a woman with long brown hair. I almost talked to one pair until I noticed that the woman wasn't moving like Tifa does.

Any other time I wouldn't worry about finding Tifa but crowds make me neurotic as hell. I get all stupidly claustrophobic around them. Sometimes it feels like all the people are sucking the air out of my lungs. Just take a deep breath and keep looking, I tell myself. You've dealt with it before, you can do it again.

Hands appear from behind me and cover my eyes while a falsely lowered voice whispers to my back. "Guess who?"

I check my immediate reaction of trying to punch whoever it is and jump like a foot in the air.

Rampant giggling bursts out from behind me along with a plaintive cry of: "Mar your ruining it."

I manage to modify my frantic attempt to turn around into an almost casual movement.

Tifa grins up at me. "Hey."

"Hey," I respond rubbing the back of my neck. I really need to calm down, almost attacking them is a very bad idea.

"Did I scare you?" She teases.

I just shrug. Yes she scared me but not the way she thinks. Time to change the subject. I crouch down to the Marlene's eye level. "Hey Marlene."

"lo," She whispers and edges behind Tifa's legs.

"Aw come on kiddo." Tifa takes her hand and pulls her forward a little bit. "You remember Cloud right?"

Marlene doesn't listen to Tifa's words, she turns her face into Tifa's arm and glances at me wearily.

"It's okay." I tell Tifa and stand up. Man it really sucks to be terrifying to a six year old. "How did you find me?"

It's a reasonable question, the crowd is pretty big and we didn't really have a set meeting spot.

She gives me a funny look the reaches out and flick's one of the spikes of my hair. "You're not exactly hard to miss, chocobo-head."

The nickname is quiet enough that none of the people around us can hear it but I groan and run an aggravated hand through my hair. "You've been talking to Yuffie haven't you."

"I'm meeting her after the parade." She admits.

"Why?"

"Apparently they're having a street fair in Wall Market."

I almost choke. She must see the look on my face because she puts a hand on her hip and rolls her eyes.

"Oh come on, it's mostly safe."

"Mostly safe?" I repeat her words dubiously.

"Stop looking at me like that. We'll be fine."

"Your taking Marlene?"

"Yeah, we've been there a dozen times, right Mar?"

Marlene nods from her hiding spot.

"It's dangerous." I frown.

"Your not going to let this go are you?" Tifa sighs.

"That place is a ..." My brain halts my mouth just in time to stop the cuss word. "It's dangerous." I repeat lamely.

She rolls her eyes at me again. "Fine. Then you'll just have to come with me. Let's find a spot to watch, the parade should be starting soon." She starts walking off like that's the end of the conversation.

I blink for a second then sigh and follow. Great I've just been suckered into being a body guard for the afternoon. Not that there's anything else for me to be doing and quite honestly I'd rather spend the time with Tifa but... Wall Market isn't a good place to be.

I catch up to her and Marlene and sigh. "Alright, I'm sorry."

"So you'll come then?" She smiles at me.

"Yeah, you could have just asked."

"Yuffie said you would say no."

"If it was her asking I would."

"So you'll say yes to me?" She raises an eyebrow.

I roll my eyes and don''t answer. My willingness to do things for Tifa that I wouldn't do for anyone else is way to hard to try and explain.

Music starts to echo from down the street and most of the crowd rushes forward to the curb. Tifa twists her mouth up into a thoughtful frown, I know what she's thinking. There's no way we're going to get a place near the front. The sidewalk is already packed.

"Tifa I can't see." Marlene tugs at Tifa's hand.

"Your getting a little big for me to hold you Mar." Tifa replies absently trying to find a place.

I sigh, I know how to fix this. Well no better time for Marlene to stop being scared of me than now. I crouch down again. "You want to see?"

The little girl nods silently.

"Alright," I hold a hand out to her and wait patiently while she hesitantly takes it. Here we go. I wordlessly swing the little girl up to my shoulders.

When I stand back up Tifa is smiling at us. "See Mar, he's not that scary."

There's a quiet no from above my head and I give Tifa a faint smile. Not the reaction I was hoping for but better than nothing.

Right now pretty much all I can see is the backs of people's heads but the parade is still a little ways away so that may change.

"What would you do if I complained that I couldn't see?" Tifa teases me.

I roll my eyes at her. "Feeling feisty today?"

"Just having fun." She smiles back.

"Fun?" I question. "Your idea of fun is to tease me?"

"Yes." She stands on tiptoe and cranes to see. "I really can't see anything though."

I glance around quickly. My eye catches a covered trash can next to a lamp post near us. Hmm... that might just work.

"Here." I grab her around the waist and lift her onto it. She makes a surprised squeak but quickly gets her footing and stares down at me.

"Scoot over." I say before she can do anything. I'll be damned if I'm going to be the only person who can't see the parade.

My hand goes up to steady Marlene and Tifa makes room for me on top of the trash can. She continues to stare but I ignore it. I'm not exactly sure why I even did that. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

I catch her bemused smile out of the corner of my eye and watch as she shakes her head a little and faces back to the street. Now that I think about it that was a dangerous thing to do. I'm surprised she didn't get angry at me for manhandling her. Well I'm safe for the moment, she's not about to do anything while I'm holding the kid.

The music gets louder and I turn my attention to the parade, it's what we're here for after all. The first thing to pass us is a banner proclaiming Shinra's 50th anniversary carried by two guys in some heavy duty red armor. That's just like Shinra, start the parade with something made to fight. Following that are some very weird mascots in the form home appliances and electronic devices. Personally I'm not impressed or entertained by a giant walking cell phone or toaster. Marlene seems to be getting a kick out of it though.

I sigh and re-anchor myself to the lamppost, my other hand wrapping around the little girl's ankle. It's funny, twenty years ago no one had ever heard of the Shrinra Electric Company. They were this little business that supplied power and had a science division. The first time I heard of them was when I was seven, they came to Nibelheim to build a power plant. Nobody thought it would turn into this. In fact most of the town thought it was a joke.

It turns out that their scientists had discovered what Mako could do. That was Gast and another guy named Hojo. Everyone thought it was just a funny chemical but they started supplying it to the military. It wasn't until I joined that I found out why. No one really knew what it was for. Mako infusion wasn't something common before the war. Only Special Ops got it. Then slowly it started integrating into the other divisions. Most civilians just thought there was something weird about soldiers. That all changed with the end of the war and Heidegger's fall.

Everybody found out after that but by that time Shinra had become much bigger than just a Mako supplier. Someone there got smart, real smart. At the same time they were developing Mako and high powered weapons for the military they were working on things for everyday life. Alternative power sources, electronic media, household items, they've dabbled in just about every market there is. Every house from midgar to Rocket town has at least three items of Shinra technology. Even some of the parts on my bike are Shinra made.

By the time they were caught in something questionable they were too important to fall. Economists call it the Eighty/Twenty theory. They make twenty percent of the products but control eighty percent of the market. If Shinra were to fall even a little bit half the world economies would crash with it. They would take down the whole market. It's ridiculous how much influence they have.

The mascots pass and a Marching Band comes next. They're proclaimed by another large banner as the West Midgar University Band but their uniforms baffle me. Dark blue edged in black with the Shinra logo on the left breast. Unsettlingly reminiscent of the MP uniforms for the military. Like I said the company has it's hand in everything. They're even playing the Shinra March. Poor kids.

Tifa sighs and leans against the pole under my arm. "It's kind of pathetic isn't it."

"You would think they belonged to Shinra." I reply.

"They might as well." She shrugs. "Shinra makes donations to them every year and does most of it's recruiting from there. They have the best Science Program in the country."

"The question is does Shinra recruit from them because they have the best program or do they have the best program because Shinra recruits from them." I ask.

She gives a small smile. "Your guess is as good as mine."

We lapse into silence for a while. You wouldn't think that a minimalist corporation could throw a real parade but they can. All I'm going to say is they've got one hell of a designer. Almost everything that is specifically Shinra is done in grey and black. There are some blues and greens but they're all subtle and cold. It all looks like something you would find in a fashionable business office.

A lot of floats are advertising. Oh look, the new paper thin Shinra laptop with attractive girls lounging on the keys. Or the new special phone with built in music player, picture editor and instant news updates. There are some regular parade things here though. Clowns are running around throwing candy or party favors into the crowd and poking fun at the solemn Shinra security guards. Marlene keeps kicking me in the chest each time one of them comes by but she's laughing happily so I'm not going to worry about it.

The next float comes into sight and for a few moments I don't believe what I'm seeing. From afar it looks like a box float with little glowing green demons running around it. As it gets closer I realize the demons are children covered in some kind of green gunk which is slowly covering the whole thing. People closer to the float are less cheering than laughing and there's the occasional scream of rage. Through the liberally spread green slime I can read the words "Mako, the future of our children."

"What the f..." I start in absolute consternation.

Tifa almost doubles over laughing and clutches the lamppost to keep herself up. "Oh god, that is just too much."

She's right, even though the slogan makes me want to punch something what's actually happening on the float is worth a thousand words. The float is decked out to look like a fountain with an elaborate sculpture spewing Mako. Thus the green goo. Whatever was meant to be happening on it apparently one of the kids decided to start throwing some of the slime. Now every child on the float is having an all out slime war while the two adults are running around tying to stop them. Seeing as the adults are almost as slime covered as the kids it doesn't look like they're succeeding.

"Why can't I do that." Marlene pipes up from above my head.

"None of them are supposed to be doing that Mar." Tifa recovers from her laughing fit long enough to answer.

One of the kids gathers a gooey handful of ammo and hurls it at the audience with a look of devilish glee. The crowd screams and scatters to our left. Seeing as the sidewalks are already packed like sardines everyone near us gets mashed together as people rush to get away from the slime. This only sends Tifa and Marlene into more fits of laughter. The crowd jostles our trash can and I have to grab Tifa and Marlene to make sure we don't all fall off. But the thing is, as difficult as it is to keep all three of us up, as annoying and nerve wracking as the crowd is, I'm laughing. It's not the usual half laugh either it's a real gut bursting, fall down on your knees fit of laughter.

The crowd eases back off but I'm still clutched against the pole laughing. Marlene has her arms wrapped around my forehead and Tifa's hanging on my shoulder to keep herself up as we all laugh and laugh.

Another volley of green goo comes flying through the air and splatters the crowd right in front of us liberally spreading lumps of slime over all three of us. Marlene squeals but it just sends us off laughing again.

It's the kind of laugh where you gasp and wheeze just to calm down. Then someone else giggles and you start to laugh all over again. God it feels good. By the time we regain a semblance of sanity the Mako fountain float has passed.

Tifa looks up at me wiping tears out of her eyes. "I've never seen you do that before."

I stare at a loss for words. No I almost never laugh like that. Hell, it wasn't until this last year that I really learned how to laugh again.

Her eyes catch me. I don't know why but my weakness is her eyes. Every god dammed time I look into them it stops me in my tracks.

"Are you two going to kiss?" The high pitched voice of the little girl brings me back to reality.

"Marlene." Tifa snaps in a panicked voice her face going red. "Remember your manners."

"Well that's what it looked like." Marlene objects sulkily.

"Regardless it's not polite to say things like that." Tifa frowns at the little girl.

A quiet little I'm sorry comes from above my head and Tifa turns back to the parade but despite her scolding demeanor I catch the hint of a returning smile.

"You should have kissed her." Marlene whispers knowledgeably in my ear.

I feel my smile glaze over but I don't answer her. What would have happened if I had kissed her? Lets think about this for a moment. If it wasn't for the PTSD, my complete refusal to talk about the war and the god dammed Mako Poisoning would I try to date Tifa? Yes, my brain answers instantly. Even though she hasn't shown any interest in me since we realized we grew up together? There's a little hesitation there. I would probably make an attempt anyway. So what's stopping me now?

I blink my eyes unseeing at the parade. Mako Poisoning, that's what's stopping me now. Even if I thought Tifa was interested I can't ask her to commit to something knowing that I'm as good as dead. Or damn well near it.

She chooses that moment to cast me a quick smile over her shoulder. That gorgeous smile and it occurs to me for the first time that I'm in way over my head here. I come at her beck and call, I can't go more than a few days without talking to her and I'm starting to talk to her about things that I don't tell anyone else. Not even Zack knows about that night on the Dao-Chao.

"You alright." She asks still looking at me.

"Yeah fine." I manage and replace the smile that must now look like a grimace with as much of a real one as I can.

She doesn't believe me, I can see it in her face.

"The crowd is just a little much." I hastily make up.

"I can take Marlene if you want to get away for a little bit." She offers with a worried look on her face.

"It'll be fine." I reassure her.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," I give her a better smile than I've been managing so far. "Don't worry about it."

She stares at me for a moment then shrugs and turns around.

I relax a little and sigh. This is going to be harder than I thought.

"Ooh look..." Marlene shouts. Rounding the corner is a group of chocobos. "They're so cute." She hugs my head and kicks her legs again hitting me squarely in the chest.

Kids are weird. I'm pretty sure just about every little girl in the audience is squealing in delight at the sight of the chocobos. I do have to admit that you don't usually see that many of them in town.

They must be racing chocobos, you only see the wild ones in yellow and these guys are anything but. There are a few people walking among them. Chocobo ranchers probably.

"They look so soft." Marlene continues. "I wanna ride one."

Tifa gives us a fiendish grin. "Well you practically are."

I glare for a second. Yeah, yeah, make fun of my hair some more why don't you.

She just grins even more and turns back to the parade.

Marlene continues to babble about how cute and cuddly the Chocobos must be. I'll bet she's never been around one of them, chocobo bites hurt too much for them to be cute afterwards. This is the most I've ever heard her talk though. Maybe she's finally getting over her terror of me.

We watch the rest of the parade in a sort of companionable chatter. The occasional comment here, a joke told there while Marlene chatters her head off. I never knew the little girl had it in her. She's pretty oblivious to anything Tifa and I say though, it's not nearly as interesting as what's going on with the parade.

It passes with slow tedium. Tifa is still smiling but she's starting to get the glazed over look I recognize as her 'this is taking way to long' face.

"How long does this last?" I finally ask.

"Last year it was two hours." She shrugs. "I don't think they can stretch it out much longer though."

"Good lord," I sigh. "I don't remember parades being boring when I was a kid."

She smiles, "That's because parades in Nibelheim were like four floats long."

I laugh a little. "Yeah I guess so, I just don't remember thinking that's just a car covered in bad paper mache."

"Little kids don't think like that, look at Marlene. She thinks this is great. In a few weeks it'll be just something she did but right now it's the best thing that's ever happened to her."

She's right, I can sort of remember feeling like that when I was little. It never mattered that the haunted house was just people dressed up in sheets or that the monsters were paper mache, they were still one of the coolest things I'd ever seen. When did the change happen, when did I become so jaded that my only concern is how long this is going to take instead of being excited at what I see.

More floats pass and the end seems to be in sight, finally. The last few floats seem to be mostly Shinra employees. I catch sight of Reeve on a big float that looks like a building under construction. Then Rufus passes us, on a different bike.

Jesus, how many bikes does he have? Every time I see him it's something new. This one has the Shinra logo on it and is pristine white just like him so maybe it's his official bike or something but still. I don't see how someone can trade bikes like he does.

Tifa casts me a slightly worried look at the sight of him but she doesn't say anything. Is she really concerned with me seeing him? Do I react that badly to him?

I force myself to relax and give her a smile. She shouldn't be worried about me. Today shouldn't be affected by one of my various issues.

The parade finally ends with the appearance of President Shinra and his wife. It's not much of a production, pretty boring for the end of a parade really.

We stay on the trash can as the crowd starts to disperse. It's better to let them back off before we try to get down.

"Not much of a finally." Tifa sighs and doubles her hands above her head in a stretch.

"Eh," I smile at her, "It's Shinra. Ready to come down Marlene?"

The little girl stops in mid babble. Somehow I get the feeling that she just now remembered that she's afraid of me. Tifa half smiles and nods at me. I guess that means she is ready. I reach up and pick her off my shoulders without much effort producing a little squeak. Tifa jumps off the trash can and takes her from me. Marlene almost immediately hides behind her legs again. I trade a resigned sigh with Tifa and jump down myself. I guess it'll take more than that to break her of her fear.

"Did you have fun Mar?" Tifa persuades her back into talking.

"Yeah, it was cool!" Marlene's eyes go wide and she starts nodding. "I liked the chocobos, and the clowns, and the floats, and the balloons, and everything." The babble of excited six year old flows back in. I can't help smiling again, if that's all it takes to make her forget her fear then maybe it's not that bad.

"Why don't we go meet Yuffie and you can tell her all about it." Tifa smiles and takes her hand.

I roll my eyes and mutter. "Should have brought my sword."

Tifa laughs and starts walking. "Oh come on, it's not that bad."

-

Wall Market is a semi-permanant flea-market. Two city blocks of one. The whole thing is makeshift shacks and grubby tents with an occasional run down building. There are piles of junk and trash everywhere that just haven't been claimed yet. Just that would make the place look sketchy but it also has a higher mugging rate than the rest of the city combined. Pair that with the drug den rumors, the infamous Honeybee Inn and the fact that the cops avoid it like the plague and you've got a bona-fide slum.

Realistically your pretty safe as long as you seem tough and keep to the main paths. But we are meeting Yuffie and she has an innate talent for trouble. So I don't care what Tifa thinks, wandering around Wall Market without a weapon makes me uncomfortable.

"So you've been talking to Yuffie?" I ask dubiously as we pass the first few piles of junk that are all that symbolizes we're entering the city's dirtiest slum.

"Here and there." Tifa shrugs. "She stops by some days. I keep her out of the bar but she likes to hang out when I'm watching Marlene. I think it's when she's supposed to be in school but..." Her voice trails off uncertainly.

I give a half laugh. "No one can force Yuffie to stay at school when she doesn't want to be. Godo wanted to home school her but with the restaurant he's never had time."

She gives me an uncertain look and swings Marlene's arm around as the kid does a turn to look at something in a stall. "I'm never certain what to do with her. She's different from most teenagers. She doesn't have any of that looming uncertainty I went through high-school with."

I raise an eyebrow at her. Looming uncertainty, I find it hard to believe that she was ever uncertain about anything. She had friends and a life. Hell when I left she was one of the most popular girls in school.

A half smile light's her face like she can read my mind. "All teenagers are uncertain. It's part of being one. The older I get the more I realize that everyone I knew at that age was just scared to death of something."

I shrug and watch her perform another adept maneuver around Marlene. "Don't worry about it too much. It's probably better that she's bugging you when she's ditching. God knows what else she does."

"EEEEEEE." A high pitched squeal accompanied by a small body comes flying between the three of us and picks up Marlene in one foul swoop. "You guys came. I was waiting for like forever. Heya kiddo, how was the parade?" Yuffie swings Marlene around in the air and babbles at us. Well at least it wasn't me who got tackled this time. I swear Yuffie's greetings can be lethal.

Tifa crosses her arms and gives a bemused smile. "I told you we wouldn't be here until the parade ended."

"I know," Yuffie puts Marlene back down on the ground and waves a hand at us. "It still took forever. I've been reduced to picking pockets out of boredom."

"Yuffie." I growl.

"Oh come on, it's not like I took anything valuable." She rolls her eyes at me and grimaces.

"One of these days you're going to get caught and your father isn't going to save you." I warn her.

"Maybe," She grins, "but that's what you and Zack are for."

I glare while she keeps grinning benevolently. Seriously one of these days she's gonna get in trouble, especially if she keeps hanging out here. The people who frequent Wall Market aren't exactly the kind to just call the cops on a pick-pocket.

"You're joking right?" Tifa looks back and forth between the two of us. "You don't really pick-pockets here do you Yuffie?"

That's the thing. I can try to explain Yuffie all I want but no one really believes that she steals things until she does it to them. No one believes that a sixteen year old girl who looks well off is a thief.

"You'll never know." Yuffie chirps with a happy smile and turns back to Marlene. "Come on kiddo, lets go look at the jewelry booths."

"She doesn't, does she?" Tifa repeats to me.

"She does." I stare after the teenager and the little girl. "Like she says it's mostly unimportant but she still does it."

"Unimportant? She steals stuff and it's unimportant?" Tifa seems to have a hard time understanding this.

"Yeah, loose change, gum, things like that. Things that fall out of pockets anyway." I shrug and start to follow them.

"Then why does she do it?"

"You'll have to ask her." Once again this isn't my story to tell.

Tifa shakes her head. "Anyone ever told you that you know some weird people?"

"Only myself." I shoot back with a half smile.

We wander the market for a while. It's mostly the cheesy tourist stuff that you get with any street event but there are a couple of good booths. Both Yuffie and Tifa spend a good fifteen minutes debating the value of throwing knives at a small weapons booth. I have to say it does my heart good to know that they coo over weapons instead of shoes like most women do. The discussion ends when the stall owner brings out a couple different special items that stop both of them in their tracks. Even I step forward to inspect these ones.

"Only the best for two beautiful ladies who know what their talking about." The young man grins. "These are my own work."

"What else do you have?" Yuffie jumps forward and asks.

The guy blushes a little and grins. "I make all kind of things but most of them are too big to bring here."

"Any throwing stars or boomerangs?" She stares hungrily.

"Heh, yeah," He's starting to look nervous. I'l admit it's not that often you get a young girl grilling you about Wutian weapons. "Here's my card, the shop is on the western continent, just outside Gongaga but you can order stuff online at my website."

Yuffie snatches the card out of his hands and starts to laugh maniacally. Which only makes him more nervous.

"Thanks for the card." I roll my eyes and grab her by the arm. "I'm sure she'll check it out sometime."

"Yeah, thanks." He gives us a disturbed smile as I drag her away from the booth still grinning evilly.

"Yuffie you keep doing that and you're going to scare all the weapons dealers off." I tell her once we're out of sight of the booth.

"But throwing stars..." She wines.

"You made him pretty nervous." Tifa backs me up. "Maybe you should just wait until your out of ear shot to gloat."

"But that's no fun." Yuffie pouts.

"I tell you what. Stop scaring people and I'll treat you to some cotton candy." Tifa laughs.

"Cotton Candy!" Yuffie and Marlene squeal at the same time looking up with bright eyes.

"Really Tifa?" Marlene continues.

I smile and Tifa laughs. "Yeah, there's a both over there. You two stay here," She points to me and Yuffie with a mock glare. "Marlene and I will go get some."

"I want blue!" Yuffie yells at their retreating backs then turns on me. "So have you asked her out yet?"

"What?" I almost take a step back at the sudden change of subject.

"Have you asked Tifa out yet." She repeats, "Zack told me that she's the one you like."

"Zack can stuff it." I mutter. "We're just friends."

"Whatever," She waves a hand like that means nothing. "You're gonna miss your chance if you don't act soon."

"What chance Yuffie." I roll my eyes. "We're friends, that's all it is. I don't care what you or Zack or Cid say there's no chance in hell she's gonna date me alright?" I glare at her but she's not listening. Hell she's not even looking. She's staring open mouthed over my shoulder.

I turn and look but there's no one behind me. "Yuffie?" I wave a hand in front of her face. "Hello?"

"Oh my gawd, he's coming over." She squeals and finally looks at me. "How do I look, am I cute?"

"What, who's coming." I ask totally confused.

"He's walking straight for me." She grins and does a little dance. "He's so gorgeous."

I turn and look again. "Who are you talking about?" But then I see it. Valentine is walking through the crowd towards us. Still in his bloody red jacket. I catch a glimpse of red hair next to him and groan. Good lord not Reno too. I've been meeting the guy regularly for sparring and he's still an arrogant ass.

"Gawd, he's coming here." Yuffie continues to squeal. "I can't believe it, Chaos is actually coming to talk to me."

I glance at her and sigh. Honestly I highly doubt he's coming to talk to her but that means he's coming to talk to me. Damn, I don't even want to think about the races right now.

"Yo, Cloud!" Reno shouts waving like an idiot as they get closer.

"Reno, Rude." I nod to them casually then look at the man in red. "...Valentine."

"Strife." Valentine greets me back.

Terse silence falls for a few seconds. Reno may have come over just to give me shit but Valentine is here for a reason. He doesn't do small talk.

Something shoves me from behind and Yuffie jumps forward tripping over her feet and giggling. "I'm Yuffie Kisigari," She blurts out her eyes shining up at Valentine. "And you're... pretty."

The remark sends Reno off into fits of laughter, even Rude gives a snort. Valentine takes a step back and stares at her blank faced while she grins up at him. Blank face or not he's got to be uncomfortable.

"Yuffie," I sigh and tug her out of Valentine's immediate space.

Reno recovers from his fit of laughter and brushes the hair out of his eyes turning to Valentine. "How the hell do you do that man. Even the jailbait fawns over you."

"Jailbait," Yuffie rounds on him. "I'll have you know that I am none other than the White Rose of Wutai. I am a perfect example of womanhood."

Reno snorts. "Maybe in a couple of years princess. Right now you ain't got the assets to be a real woman."

"I'll show you assets you overgrown Turkey!" The girl steps forward shaking a fist.

"I wouldn't give you a second look kid."

"Yeah well you wouldn't know a good woman if she flattened your face, old man."

"Old man," The grin actually leaves his face for a few seconds. Then he leers forward at her lecherously. "Yeah well as someone who knows what he's talkin' about..." He looks her up and down then smiles. "You ain't a woman."

Yuffie screeches a line of Wutaian obscenities and stomps her foot in anger. I shake my head seriously, this is ridiculous.

"Children." Valentine mutters next to me.

I sigh. "To be fair she is one."

Valentine's lips almost twitch into a smile. "But he isn't."

Silence descends between us again but it's not nearly as tense. Yuffie and Reno's argument broke the atmosphere.

"Did you need something?" I ask after another few second of watching the two trade insults.

"I don't work for Palmer anymore." Valentine says so low that I almost miss his words.

I give him a blank look. "What?"

"Palmer has decided that some fresh talent is required for his bet." The man says it with a completely blank look on his face but I swear I can see anger flash in his eyes. "I will not be your opponent in the next race."

Fuck, he changed racers on me. Valentine lost to me twice in a row and he changed racers. Bloody hell, I hate this deal. I hat not knowing what I'm up against.

"Do you know who he hired?" I ask quietly. I have to ask. If Palmer is cheating like this then any information I can get is a good thing.

Valentine stiffens and shakes his head imperceptibly. "I was not informed of who would be taking my place."

"Yeah, well I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole Fire Crotch." Yuffie screeches.

"Girly you're gonna have ta' stop looking like a ten year ol' boy for me ta' even think about it." Reno jabs back.

Honestly this is pretty entertaining. For the most part they're each holding their own. Yuffie actually looks like she's enjoying the fight.

"Ten year old boy," She fumes. "I've got curves you wouldn't even dream of."

"Oh come on," Reno points a skeptical finger and raises an eyebrow. "Rude would you hit that?"

"Oh dis-gus-ting!" Yuffie cringes.

"You gonna keep racing?" I ask Vincent while she proceeds to try and kick Reno.

"Without a sponsor?" He raises an eyebrow.

I shrug. "You could take up Reeve on his offer. Be a poster boy."

No sign of anything. Jesus this guy is even more emotionless than I am.

"What's going on?" Tifa asks coming back with Marlene, both their hands leaden with Cotton Candy.

"Yuffie." I tell her rubbing the back of my neck.

"Oh hey, you're Chaos right?" She smiles and waves a hand at Valetine.

"Yes," Once again not a single twitch. "My name is Vincent Valentine."

"I'm Tifa Lockheart." She starts.

"Nobody in their right mind would go near a scrawny girl like you." Reno laughs uproariously.

"Why you scruffy, perverted jerk!" Yuffie screams.

"It's nice to meet you but I better put a stop to this." Tifa sighs and steps forward between us. "Yuffie, you wanted blue right?"

Yuffie's anger drops like a lead ball and she practically leaps over snatching the spun sugar out of Tifa's hands. "Muahahaha, prepare to meet your doom fluffy clouds of deliciousness."

Reno's left pointing at empty air with his retort still in his mouth. I smirk to myself and turn back to Valentine. "Well, good luck. You're a good racer."

He gives a nod and turns on his heel, Rude close behind.

"Hey wait!" Reno yells and starts after them. "This ain't over princess."

"Anytime Turkey." Yuffie yells back sticking her already blue tongue out after him.

"What was that?" Tifa asks me.

"Palmer fired him. I'm gonna be racing against someone else next time." I shrug.

She winces. "Not good."

I just stare down at her while she sticks a piece of cotton candy in her mouth. Funny a minute ago I was pretty pissed about the whole thing. Maybe my temper is mellowing or something because it really doesn't seem like that big a deal.

"You want some?" She asks and waves a little bit towards me.

I shake my head and cringe a little. "No thanks."

"You sure?" She bats her eyes and leans in towards me shoving the cone my way. "It's really good."

"I hate Cotton Candy." I say trying to look away.

"How can you hate it, it's so yummy." She grins and waves it in front of my face.

"Tifa," I sigh. "I've hated Cotton Candy since I was Marlene's age."

"Have you tried it since then?" She tears off a piece and waves it at me again with a smile on her face. "You might like it now."

"No and I don't plan on it."

"Come on no one hates Cotton Candy."

"If I try a piece will you stop waving it at me?" I ask after a second.

She grins happily and tears another piece off for me. "Yep."

"Fine," I sigh and take the piece. As soon as it hits my tongue I remember why I hate it so much. It's too sweet and the spun sugar makes me feel like I'm chewing of cobwebs or something.

"Well?" She cranes her head at me.

I close my eyes and force myself to swallow. This stuff is disgusting. "Nope, still hate it."

She laughs and flips hair out of her eyes. Damn, she really does have gorgeous eyes. She stares up at me smiling again. How many times does this make today? Four, maybe five, but still if her eyes catch me I'm a doomed man.

"Hey Mar," Yuffie's voice snaps us out of our stare. "Bet I can finish mine before you do!"

* * *

**Hey so... been a while. Finished 20 credit hours of college classes (don't know if I passed them all but I finished). Got my appendix out and had complications. Broke up with my boyfriend and had to move out during finals week. That's all I'm gonna say, it's been a long six months.**

**Anyway here's the chapter, I really wanted to have something that was just happy instead of all the crap I usually put Cloud through and it really wasn't easy. I mean really not easy.**** Hopefully I succeeded. As a side note I didn't do much editing on this chapter because I was anxious to actually post it. If there are any major problems let me know and I'll do what I can.**

**Mega thanks to all my Reviewers and to all the people who sent me messages asking if I was alright. You guys are truly awesome. So in order super thanks to: Fairheartstrife, Knightof Wattala, chipmouskin, venom828, Shari Joy Rose, vx-Luna-xv, Elmhurst Hills, Sacred3, Meilinoa, Plushietiger, Kainos Ktisis, Ah-choo, Pumpkinguy, goatgod, Sigbru, GKMSWolves, AnimeRoxMySox and mom calling. Seriously, couldn't do it without you guys.**

**Song for this bit - strangely enough this one doesn't have a song. Maybe that's why I had so much trouble with it.**

**So now I beg on my knees for your forgiveness and hope no one hates me too much. Thanks a lot guys. Hope you enjoy the chapter and let me know if you do. **


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

A few days later I get mobbed. One late delivery to Kalm and everything falls apart. I'm already running behind due to the fact that addresses in Kalm are a joke. It's a small enough town that everyone knows everyone else and they all claim they don't need numbers to tell them where people live. This means that I have to wander around town randomly asking people where the person lives. I usually don't mind this because I've delivered to pretty much everyone who orders stuff with us so I already know where they are, but if I don't get the package delivered the first time then I'll have to come back another day. So, it's usually worth the headache of finding someone to avoid the second trip. Today was different, today I had to spend almost four hours asking around to find the person I was delivering to.

By the time I get back on the road and headed home it's well past dark. Damn, the days are getting shorter. That also means they'll be getting colder and that's not a pleasant thought.

I'm about a third of the way back and starting to make the transition to the waste lands when a pack of thirty or more Kalm Fangs appear out of nowhere. One second the road is clear, the next it's covered in large purple wolves coming straight at me.

I stare in amazement for a second. You never see groups of more than maybe five of these guys together, they're not pack animals. I've honestly never seen this many. It's like the road is made of moving purple fur.

My second of hesitation costs me. The one in front launches into the air and all I can see is a red mouth with fangs flying towards me. There's not enough time to get out my sword, hell.

I duck to the side of my bike and hit the switch anyway. Better have it if the rest decide that I'm tasty looking. The creature goes flying over my head but only just, the one right behind it is closer and gets a pretty good slash in on my right shoulder. It catches me by surprise and my hands automatically jerk my bike into a sideways slide. I dive for my sword but it's too late, the damn thing goes skidding off behind me.

Son of a bitch, I'm not prepared for this. I hit the ground already rolling while my bike continues its slide, plowing into the mass of the Fangs. It's not enough, they just start jumping over it and continue coming at me. The few who have already passed me are turning around. Shit, shit, shit, of all the times to not be wearing my bloody armor. If there were only a few of these guys I wouldn't have a problem but with this many I'm going to get eaten alive.

I jump to my feet and start running in the direction my sword went. The beasts are already on my heels and there are a few in front of me, shit.

The Fang nearest me lunges and I just manage to dive out of its way. What I wouldn't give for my armor right now. The dive takes me off course and costs me time. They're closing in way too fast, bastards.

I continue running, where the hell is my sword. I should be able to see the damn thing by now. I can see in the fucking dark so why the hell can't I see it yet?

Several more Fangs are coming at me, I'm as good as dead if I can't pull this off. Seriously, I never thought that it would be monsters that took me down. At least not after Wutai.

I'm starting to panic as the Fang gets closer, my hands ball into fists but I'm pretty much scared shitless. I'm in the middle of nowhere surrounded by crazed monsters and I can't find my god damn sword...

A slight glint catches my eye from the roadside off to my left. Is that it? There's already a Fang coming from that direction but if that's my sword... Well it's not like I've got much of a choice.

I change direction and the Fangs almost collide behind me but there's still two directly in my way. The first one jumps and I lunge to the ground in an attempt to dodge. It works I roll directly under the animal but the second one is smarter than that.

I can see my sword from the ground I'm rolling on, six maybe seven feet, but that Fang is in the way. I hitch up to my feet and stare at the Fang. It's standing still, waiting, waiting for me to move. I'm standing still too after that stunt but I can't afford to be here long. I know the other ones are right behind me. Six bloody feet... how do I get past this fucker?

Alright, here goes nothing. I take two steps and try to launch myself over the animal. It's smarter than that. It leaps into the air to catch me and wraps it's sharp toothed jaw around my right forearm digging in and drawing blood. The extra weight drags me out of the air and I fall to the ground with a thump but it's too late. My scrabbling left hand makes contact with the blunt edge of my sword and I grab at it with all my strength swinging it around so the hilt catches the Fang across the side of the head.

The blow stuns the monster, but doesn't make it let go of my arm. I use the extra second to flip my sword and catch it by the handle then bring it down with a bone crushing thump across the back of the creatures neck. This isn't the time for technique or finesse.

The dead Fang's jaw loosens and I yank my arm out painfully. I swear to God, if I get out of this alive I'm never going without my armor again. But there isn't extra time to think, they're almost on me. I flip up to my feet and ready my sword. This isn't going to be pretty.

It's only now that I feel the familiar rush of Mako. Only now that my body decides it's in real danger and that I could use help. Bloody stupid Mako, but the flood of strange energy is doing its job. I can feel it enhancing my abilities and now I've got a decent second wind.

My sword catches the first charging Fang right down the middle practically cleaving the damn thing in two and I take the leg off another one with the upswing. The Fangs see this and become slightly more wary, but very few monsters in this world have anything resembling intelligence so they're not backing off completely.

My arm throbs and I know I'm losing blood, but my eyes stay focused on the creatures. Now that I've got my sword and the Mako has kicked in the fight is as good as won, but I've already been surprised by these guys three times in the last ten minutes so I'm not taking anything for granted. All I can hear is the faint clicking of claws on the asphalt and the occasional growl as they all circle me warily. Moments of tense silence pass like an eternity.

One of them finally makes a move while my back is turned and I get down to the nitty-gritty of monster extermination.

There's this group of eco-crazies who keep pushing for the government to make monster reservations. Places where people can't kill monsters, no matter what happens. They say that all monsters are a balanced part of the planet's ecosystem and that we're doing damage by killing them. Like I said, they're crazy.

This kind of situation is exactly why I think they're crazy. Monsters don't really have much of a survival instinct, they'll go up against anything and I mean anything. They don't protect their young, they don't form social relationships, and they don't do anything but kill. Realistically if it wasn't for the fact that they all breed like rabbits they would have been wiped out long ago.

My sword cleaves through the pack like soft butter. It's a challenge, I'm outnumbered but if there's one thing I know it's how to handle a sword. Still this has not been a good situation.

Seconds stretch into what seems like agonizing minutes and hours. I can feel my breath burning in my lungs and every time I raise my sword, my shoulder and forearm sends stabbing pain down my spine. By the time the Fang's are gone it takes me a few moments to realize that there's no reason to continue fighting.

My adrenalin drops and all I am is a blood covered maniac standing in a road with the bodies of several dozen creatures. There are piles of them, piles of limbs and blood stained fur.

My breath rasps in my throat and the tip of my sword hits the ground raising sparks. I can't hold it anymore. Bloody Christ, I survived... Somehow I survived. My brain keeps repeating my surprise while my body cleans my sword on auto-pilot.

God I haven't felt like this since Wutai. Haven't felt the brain numbing rush of Mako with the sudden come down of sheer unbelievable consternation that I'm still alive. Nothing makes you crash like surviving something you thought was suicide. I'm serious though, I'm never going without my armor again.

My brain restarts and suddenly I realize exactly what has happened. For whatever reason I just got mobbed by creatures with a brain the size of a walnut. I got mobbed by creatures that never travel in packs and are dead easy to deal with. Fuck, I've got to tell someone.

I place a call to the local monster hotline. Ten minute conversation in which the don't believe a damn word I say, twenty minutes of waiting for someone to show up to see I'm telling the truth, half an hour of questioning in which I have to tell the story fifteen times.

For fuck's sake why the hell do they need to keep me here? I just spent the whole day trying to do my job, almost got overrun by pansy-ass monsters and now I'm being questioned like an idiot. I want to go home and sleep.

-

My eyes open to absolute overwhelming darkness. I woke up, somehow I woke up. The darkness slowly resolves into the familiar shadowy features of my apartment. I remember now. I got done with the monster cleanup people and came home, took the shortest shower of my life then collapsed on my bed. Still why am I awake? I could have sworn I would have slept through tomorrow. I was so tired I don't remember most of the ride home.

Some instant feeling creeps into my brain. I'm awake for a reason. A noise, there's a repeating jingling little noise in my room. A phone, my phone. My phone is ringing.

I groan and wince, God I don't want to move. Why is my phone ringing at this time of the night? Where the hell is it anyway? My hand flails around on the bed until it makes contact with the little square. The phone stops ringing almost as soon as I pick it up. The bright light scars the retinas of my eyes and I squint at it for a second. Ten missed calls, you have got to be kidding me.

The ringing starts again in my hand and I answer it without looking.

"Hello?"

"Cloud?" The whispered voice is almost inaudible through the speaker.

"Tifa?" I ask hazily as my brain finally makes some kind of connection.

"Cloud you have to come over," she says after a minute her voice still hushed and hoarse.

"What?" I ask frowning and closing my eyes again. Come over, what the hell is she talking about? It's the middle of the night.

"There's something in my apartment," she almost stammers and for the first time I hear fear in her voice.

The words send chills down my spine and I sit bolt upright. "What?"

"There's something in my apartment," she repeats almost crying.

I take a deep breath and stand up. "Alright, where are you?"

"In the bedroom."

"You need to get out of there." Shirt, where the hell is a clean shirt? What did I do with my boots? "Can you get onto the roof?"

"No," she whispers. God she sounds scared. I've never heard her even a little frightened before. "If I move they'll get me."

"Are they in there with you?" I ask quickly digging through my closet for something to wear. They can't be in the same room as her, she wouldn't be talking to me if they were. How long have they been there? She called me ten times before I picked up.

"They're in the walls." Her voice goes high and she starts to sob.

I pause in my frantic search. In the walls? How could they be in the walls? A suspicion starts to creep up on me. I've got to ask. "What exactly is in your apartment?"

She's silent for a second. Is it really some kind of burglar or something? "I don't know." Once again her voice is almost a wail. If someone was there they certainly would have heard that. "I can hear them breathing."

"Tifa," I sigh and rub my face with my hand. The rush of adrenalin that got me out of bed is dying and leaving me so tired I feel like I can't move. "How long has it been since you slept?"

Dead silence greets my question.

"Tifa?" I repeat.

"I don't know." She answers hesitantly. "A few days?" It's more a question than an answer.

I groan and blink my eyes. "You don't know?"

"Please just come over and get them." She pleads.

"You haven't slept," I tell her. I knew her insomnia was bad, but this is more than just sleep deprivation. "You just need to get some rest."

"Please Cloud?" she asks again.

I stare for a second. God, what is wrong with me? This gorgeous woman is pleading me to come over and rescue her from imaginary monsters and I'm trying to get out of it. Plus there is a chance that something could actually be there. I don't think it's worth risking. "Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thank you." She sinks back into the almost inaudible range.

I hang up the phone and rub my face again. Alright, clothes first, find my boots and jacket, keys. Then I'll go save her from whatever it is.

Jesus, what am I some knight in shining armor? Am I her hero or am I just a sucker for her?

-

By the time I get to the bar it's well past four in the morning. Everything is closed and the roads are practically deserted. I don't even pass a cop on my way there. All the lights in the bar are out. There aren't any on upstairs either.

I knock on the back door of the bar. I know the staircase up to her apartment is right next to it. I hope she's still not too afraid to move. Minutes pass and there is no response.

Next I try her phone but it just rings until the voicemail picks up. Hell, she's not answering the door or her phone. How am I supposed to get in?

I stare at the building for a few moments then try the door again hopefully. No I'm not that lucky, bloody hell. I guess this means the roof.

I've seen her get into her apartment that way before but... It takes me a few minutes to find a way up, it's too bad I can't pull off her launching trick but I wouldn't have the energy for it anyway. Eventually I pull my self up with the help of the dumpster and a fence. God I'm glad she's the only one who lives up here. I can just imagine what would happen if Barret found me sneaking around the roof in the middle of the night.

Okay I know one of these windows lead to her apartment but the question is which one. I find what's probably her bedroom at the second one.

Tap tap... nothing.

Tap tap tap... Damn, I guess this means I'm breaking and entering.

There's no sound as I ease the window open and crawl through. The whole place is dead silent. No noise means either someone heard me coming or there really is no one here.

"Tifa?" My voice echoes in the room. Still no sound.

By now my eyes have adjusted. I've never been in her room before, hell I've only been in the apartment once before. It's cluttered but clean. A couple of shelves are crammed full of little trinkets and things of the sort. There are a few children's drawings on the walls, probably from Marlene but no Tifa.

I step over to the slightly open door and glance into the living room. No noise and I can't see anybody. If there ever was someone here they're gone now, still no Tifa.

A slight noise makes me turn around. A faint scratch but that's all it is. The bed catches my attention. Something is wrong with it. Not by much but something is wrong. It's pulled away from the wall more than it should be.

I carefully walk over and squat at the end of the gap. She's there, curled up in the corner with a baseball bat clutched in both hands.

"Tifa," I try gently to make her hear me.

She doesn't respond. Her eyes are dull, glazed over I don't think she's even seeing the room anymore.

"Tifa," I say again and slowly move closer taking the bat out of her hands. "Tifa look at me."

A shiver runs through her body when I put my hands over hers and she seems to focus on me for the first time. "Cloud!" He voice is barely a gasp but she latches onto my hands with a death grip. "You're here."

"I'm here." I reassure her still speaking gently and pull her out of the gap and onto the bed.

"Did you get them?"

"There's nothing here Tifa."

"They're here. I know they are."

"Tifa there's no one in your apartment," I tell her again prying her hands off of mine.

She doesn't look convinced. Jesus her eyes are like saucers.

"Alright," I fold. "I'll look again. You stay here."

"No!" She panics and grabs my arm. "I... They'll get me."

I stare at her, I never thought I would see her this terrified. I haven't seen anyone this terrified in a long time.

"You want to come with me?" I ask after a minute.

She bites her lip and glances around. I understand her dilemma. Come with me and see what ever it is she's to terrified of or stay her where they might get her when I'm away. After a moment she nods.

"Okay, come on." I pull her fully to her feet. She's still clutching my arm like it's her link to life. Damn, it just has to be the arm that got messed up earlier tonight doesn't it? "Here," I remove her grip and offer her my other hand. This way I'll at least be able to move. She grabs it and quickly intertwines her fingers with mine. I can feel the heat even through my gloves.

I end up having to take her through every room, cupboard, and drawer in the whole place. Even then she's not convinced.

"See." I make her sit down on the couch. "Nothing here."

"I-I don't understand." She shakes and curls her knees up to her face. "They were here."

I sigh, in a lot of ways I understand what she's going through right now. I know that she just needs sleep, a lot of sleep and in order to do that she needs to feel safe but... Well sometimes it's hard to deal with people when they're like this.

"They must have left," I tell her and pat her shoulder with my free hand. "You're safe now."

God, she looks so confused. "I..."

"Do you need anything?"

She cranes her head around the room for a second then turns back to me. "Water?"

"Alright," I nod but she doesn't move, hell. "Tifa, you have to let go of me if you want me to get you water."

Her eyes suddenly focus on our hands still intertwined from the search. Confusion crosses her face again as if she didn't realize she was latched onto me, then slowly her fingers uncurl and I get to move my hand again.

I can feel her eyes staring through my back the whole time I'm in the kitchen. She watches intently as I search the cupboards for a glass and fill it.

By the time I get back to her side she's shaking again. Even the glass shakes as she takes a sip.

"Do you need anything else?"

She mutters under her breath for a second then looks up at me pleadingly. "Cold?"

I sigh and head back to her bedroom to grab a blanket. As soon as I leave her sight she starts to whimper. Jesus, she must have it bad if she's afraid to let me out of her sight. I saw her two, three days ago and she didn't say anything about not sleeping. If I had known...

When I return to the living room blanket in hand she's kneeling on the couch and peering over the back to see me. Damn, I'm still dead tired but I can't leave her like this. She needs to sleep and there's no way she will if I leave. Alright, I'll stay until she falls asleep then I'm going home.

I tuck the blanket around her shoulders and take the seat on the opposite end of the couch. Not a second after I sit down she latches onto me again. One hand in mine and her head on my shoulder. I try not to stiffen, I really do but it's been a long time since I touched someone like this. There have been moments where we've been close but this is full blown space invading. If it were anyone else... but it's her.

It puts me in mind of Kunsel, at least the last time I saw him. Nice guy, a little odd, but a nice guy. Every platoon gets a few people who are just a little off, a few crazies. He was one of ours.

Big fan of conspiracy theories, thought the government had monster farms and bred the damn things to keep the civilian population in line. The only reason he was there was because he got drafted. One of the few people I ever knew to take the risk of not getting a Mako infusion. He had all kinds of theories about that too but I don't even remember them anymore.

There was a nasty raid about a month after he transfered to us. A few of us died and a whole hell of a lot of Wutains. I dunno, I guess the stress just broke him because he stopped sleeping after that. At first we thought it was just shock and he would get over it but he didn't. He started out forgetful then progressed to full on delusional. Forgetting your ammo is not something that you want to do in the middle of a war zone.

It only got worse, at some point he started to hallucinate, claimed the only way to kill the enemy was a stake through the heart. Like I said, a little off. By the end of it he was camped out in the bottom of a fox-hole and shooting at anyone who got within fifteen feet. It took three days and the combined effort of more than half the platoon to get him out.

God knows it takes a lot for the Military to admit that a soldier has mental problems. I can testify that at least a third of the guys in my platoon, including one of my superior officers, shouldn't have been there. Apparently taking pot-shots at your own troops will do it though. Kunsel got out on a mentally unfit for duty charge.

The thing is everything that Tifa's doing right now is almost scarily similar to how he acted just before he went off the deep end. The twitchy movements, the wide eyes and the absolute conviction that something is out to get her all remind me of him. Honestly it scares the living shit out of me that she could be this close to the edge. Granted Kunsel was pretty close to crazy in the first place and Tifa's one of the most grounded people I know but I still don't like it.

Man how did this happen to me? A few months ago it would have been unfortunate but it wouldn't have affected me like this. A few months ago this wouldn't have been my problem. Now I'm sitting here in her apartment and hoping like hell that she'll sleep because I don't know what I would do if something happened to her.

There it is, I can deny it all I want, but it's true. Somehow Tifa is more important to me than anything else. She's become one of the centers of my life. It's like I met her and my whole world opened up. She's made me change the way I look at it.

I go ahead and take one long look at her. Her eyes are closed but twitching, her face pale and her hand still tight in mine. She looks like she's having a bad dream, maybe that's why she doesn't want to sleep. I know the feeling, dreams have a nasty way of bringing back things you don't ever want to see again.

She's not just a friend of mine that happens to be attractive anymore. She's a woman I care about, deeply. More than I thought I was capable of after the last few years. Damn, so much for self control.

Something makes her brows draw together and her free hand scrabbles at the blanket. I can't leave her here like this. I don't have it in me to walk away, not now.

-

Loud knocking at the door wakes me up with a start. Once again it takes my brain a couple seconds to realize what's going on. I'm at Tifa's, I'm lying on her couch with her curled up next to me and someone is knocking at the door. Shit what should I do?

"Tifa!" The yell echo's through the door. "I'm droppin' Marlene off. Gotta catch my flight."

It's Barret, fuck! God only knows what he'll do if he catches me here. My body reacts without a second thought and I jerk up and vault over the back of the couch plastering myself to the floor as the sound of the door opening reaches my ears. Thank God I know how to move silently.

"She's sleeping daddy, don't wake her up." Marlene's scolding, high pitched voice reaches me and only makes my heart pound faster.

"Sorry baby," the man grumbles and I hear him take a few steps into the room. "She been sleepin' lately?"

"Not much," The little girl answers like it's normal for Tifa to be dead to the world on her own couch. Faint footsteps come across the floor and suddenly I'm looking into Marlene's brown eyes. We both freeze and stare at each other for a second.

"What 'chu lookin' at?" His voice comes across accusingly. I raise a finger to my lips and shake my head silently. For God's sake don't let him catch me here. It's not like I couldn't hold my own against the large man but I don't think him freaking out is something Tifa wants or Marlene should see.

"Nothing daddy," She turns away and gives him a bright smile. "I was just wondering why she's not in her bed." Give the girl credit, she's bright.

"Okay." I can almost hear the frown in his voice. "You gonna be a'right till she wakes up?"

"I'll be fine daddy." She gives him her best smile and retreats from my line of vision.

"Gimmie a kiss," There's a pause. "Ya want me ta call ya tonight?"

"Yes, yes, yes!" The little girl squeals loud enough that I'm sure it's going to wake Tifa up.

"You be good for Teef, I'll see you next week."

"Love you daddy."

"Love you too baby." There's more stomping around then the door finally closes and I let out a breath. Holy fucking shit, I've had more near death experiences in the last twenty four hours than I care for.

There's a giggle and Marlene rounds the corner of the couch again staring at me. After a moment I drag myself to my feet and rub my face. Good God it's not even dawn.

"What are you doing?" She asks me cocking her head.

"Uhh..." The tired word leaps from my mouth without my consent. Crap, how do I deal with a little girl? I glance at the couch hoping Tifa will come to my rescue. No luck, she's still out.

"Mr. Cloud?"

I give the quiet sign again and walk over to Tifa. Well if she slept through Barret then she's not likely to wake up anytime soon. She needs to sleep so it's probably a good thing but hell, I need help. I kneel down and pick her up. There's all this propaganda that carrying a limp girl is romantic and easy. It's dead wrong, carrying a limp anybody is difficult. After a moment of watching me Marlene grabs the hanging folds of blanket and follows me into Tifa's bedroom. We get her into the bed and covered up the little girl more hindering than helping but obviously trying. She's a sweet kid.

It's only once I shut the door and relax a little that she speaks again. "Is Tifa alright?"

"Yeah, she's just tired." I rub my face. "She's been having nightmares."

"Oh," The little girl shrugs and climbs into one of the chairs at the small table in the kitchen. "The monsters again."

Monsters again? I stare for a second. "She dreams about them often?"

"Mm-Hm." She nods. "She sleeps on the couch when they scare her. She didn't sleep for a really long time once, daddy said she started dreaming when she was awake." She picks at the edge of the table. "It was really scary."

This isn't the first time then. Damn, that's not good. Is she really so scared of her dreams that she pushes herself to near insanity? I rub my face again and realize that Marlene is staring at me pretty intently. "What?"

"I'm hungry," she states and keeps staring.

Oh, she's a little kid, I'm an adult, she's hungry, so she expects me to do something about it. Well, I guess I better deliver. I don't do much cooking, not even for myself. Between Godo and my work schedule I get fed without much effort. I hope Tifa has something I can actually make.

A quick search through the fridge and cupboards results in toast, cereal and orange juice for the kid. I keep myself happy with a couple of slices of toast and some instant coffee buried at the back of one of the cupboards. My body just wants to go back to sleep but I don't have time. I'll need to be at work in an hour or so and I don't feel comfortable just leaving Marlene here by herself. Maybe I should call out just to make sure that Tifa sleeps and someone is here to watch the kid. It's a difficult situation.

Tifa's door swings open with a slam and she leaps into the room "God Marlene, I'm so sorry you must be starving." The words fade off as she sees me and the breakfast Marlene is eating. Shock crosses her face then a blush rises. "Cloud."

I set my coffee down and brace myself. This is going to be interesting. She still looks dead tired. The bags under her eyes have only diminished a little. She barely got three hours of sleep.

"Umm... " She crosses her arms over her chest and gives a faint smile. "Morning."

"Morning Tifa." Marlene gives her bright smile. "Cloud made me breakfast."

"Oh, that's good." Tifa stares for a few more seconds, confusion obviously playing across her face.

"You were asleep so daddy just dropped me off." The girl continues, oblivious to the tension.

"Right," Tifa continues to stare at me. "Cloud can I talk to you?"

I nod and follow her into her room very intentionally leaving the door open. She crosses her arms and turns on me once we're inside. "I... wha... how..." She doesn't seem to be able to get any words out.

I sigh and rub my face leaning against the door frame. "Do you remember anything?" I finally ask.

She mutely shakes her head.

I tap my fingers for a moment then decide that truth is the best policy here. "You called me at something like three in the morning because something was in your apartment and demanded that I come over to get rid of it."

The blush immediately darkens and her hands come up to cover her face. "Oh God, I... I'm sorry. I didn't know it was getting to that point."

I frown at her. "Getting to that point? You were hysterical."

She rolls her eyes at me. "Oh come on, it's not that bad. I was just a little out of it."

"A little out of it?" I glare at her. "You were having delusions about monsters and now you don't remember any of it."

Her eyes narrow and I belatedly realize that maybe that could have been phrased a little better. "It just happens sometimes, alright?" She crosses her arms again.

"Why didn't you tell me you hadn't been sleeping?" I try a different tack.

"Oh," She blinks at me. "And now I need to tell you everything?"

"Tifa," I sigh and grit my teeth. She's not usually this defensive. She's not usually defensive at all. "That's not what I'm saying. I just don't think it's good for you to miss that much sleep. It can be dangerous."

"Dangerous?" She almost laughs in my face. "It's just sleep, besides I always catch up."

Great, she's not going to fold on this. I hate confrontations, I hate dealing with this kind of thing. "I just don't want to see anything bad happen to you."

"Really?" She cocks her head at me and stabs a finger into my chest a couple different times. "You sure as hell don't show it. You don't show anything."

I rub my forehead. "Alright, I have to go to work and you still need to sleep. Maybe once you've rested you can listen to sense and..."

"Listen to sense?" she interrupts me, "If you had any damn sense you would..." She bites the words off mid sentence.

"Tifa you need to sleep."

"You don't have the right to tell me what to do."

"Maybe not but it doesn't change the fact that you still need to sleep."

We stare at each other for a few tense moments. She finally folds her arms and looks away from me. "I thought you had to go to work."

It almost feels like a slap from her. This definitely isn't the Tifa I know. I should just walk away, she can deal with this herself if she's so damned determined to. No, I can't not until I know she's going to do something about it.

I grit my teeth and glare. "I'm not going anywhere until you say you'll go back to sleep."

"I can't," She waves a hand flippantly. " I have to watch Marlene."

"So call Yuffie and she can watch the kid while you sleep," I almost growl at her. This does not bode well. Between my exhaustion and her anger I don't know how much longer I can deal with this.

We glare for another few seconds then she snaps up her phone. "Yuffie? Yeah I know, do you have school today? Are you sure? Yeah well _someone_," she glared pointedly at me, "won't leave my house until I get help to watch Marlene. No no, I just haven't been sleeping much and they're taking it way too seriously. Okay, thanks, yeah, I'll see you in a little bit." She slams the phone shut and throws it on her bed. "She's on her way over."

I stare at her for a second then nod. What else am I going to do, I usually trust her. Even like this she wouldn't lie to me about it. "Alright, I'll leave."

I turn and stalk out into the living area scooping up my jacket on the way.

"Are you leaving Cloud?" Marlene asks hurriedly.

"Yeah," I shake myself and try to put a good face on for her. "I have to go to work."

She runs up and throws her arms around my leg in a hug. "Thank you for breakfast."

"Sure kid." I pat her awkwardly on the head and stare at Tifa still standing in her doorway. She still looks mad but she's giving me a funny stare like she can't understand what she's seeing. I hate to have made her angry like that but it's more important to me that she sleeps. Well, hopefully we can patch things up later, I'm already going to be late.

* * *

**Yeah, I'm back. For a little while at least. So here's the deal, there are two major things delaying the story.**

**One, I essentially got put in charge of the costume shop at my college. This means that along with making the costumes, which I already do, I also have to every night of every play we put on and make sure that everyone is properly dressed. As you can imagine this takes up almost all my spare time. Writing doesn't get a whole lot of priority when all I want is sleep.**

**Two, got a new boyfriend. Not that important until I tell you that we act almost exactly like Cloud and Tifa in this story. It's weird, really weird. The point is that I have had every chapter of this story planned out for over a year now. Problem is that shortly after new boyfriend and I started dating I realized that almost everything I had planned from this point on was disturbingly inaccurate to the characters. I started writing this story to see how accurate and realistic I could get characters, it means a lot to me. I just can't write much less post something that I feel doesn't represent the characters I love. So I scrapped what I had planned and started over. I'm not changing anything that has already been posted. I'm not restarting the story. I'm just changing some things you guys have never seen to hopefully make me feel better about the whole thing. On the upside it should make the story a little shorter and easier to wrap up. **

**Hopefully I'm done planning but no promises. I worked on this for five months before I even posted the first chapter. Having to change half the plot in the middle is hard for me. I have no intention of abandoning this story, I'm going to finish it even if it's the death of me. I just needed and may still need a little time to get it straight. **

**I love my reviewers though. I don't think I could do a damn thing without you guys encouraging me. So once again wonderful thanks to all my amazing friends; Fezzy, Fast, venom828, vLuna, Kattzia, Sacred3, Biskitty, beacoup riant, goat god, , Holy Wolf(also my Beta Reader, give her applause for putting up with my sorry ass), chipmouskin, mom calling, AnimeRoxMySox, Kibuka, and Fairheartstrife. **

**Song for this bit: started of as Kids by MGMT but it's been long enough that I'm not so sure anymore.**

**See you when I can, Palo**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

She calls me in the late afternoon. It's been a busy day and I'm back at the office to pick up more deliveries. I hesitate for a moment, usually Coats gets pretty angry when we use cell phones, but he's busy haranguing Wedge right now, so I can probably get away with it.

I duck out of the loading door and answer. "Hey."

"Hey," she answers back hesitant and we fall into silence.

I hesitate too, she's never yelled at me before. Not seriously, like she did this morning. I'm not sure what to say.

"I'm sorry," she says quietly after a second.

I sigh and rub the back of my neck. "Yeah, me too."

The tension breaks some and she gives a nervous little laugh. "Yuffie took one look at me and demanded I go back to bed."

I can't help smiling a little bit. "So you slept some then?"

"About six hours." She hesitates then continues, "Ummm, did I really demand that you stay on the couch with me?"

I suck in a breath and try not to smile. On one hand, I can almost hear the grimace in her voice, she's embarrassed and that makes me want to laugh, but at the same time maybe it would be better if we just didn't talk about it. "Yeah."

She lets out a held breath and mutters, but I don't catch the words.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to make sure that wasn't part of the hallucinations." I can't tell if she's relieved or upset.

"About that," I grimace to myself. "You may want to talk to Marlene. Uh, Barret dropped her off a little after seven."

"Oh God," There's panic in her voice.

"He didn't see me," I reassure her as fast as I can. "I managed to hide before he opened the door, but Marlene knows I was there."

"Darn," she sighs, "Alright I'll try to make sure he doesn't lynch you."

"That would be nice," I admit and wander up the sidewalk. Here goes the hard part. "Tifa, what the hell was all that?"

There is silence for a second and her breath sounds fast and a little harsh through the phone. "I... I don't know if I can explain. I've had this nightmare, I dunno, since my mom died. I'm out in the middle of nowhere, I'm hurt and I'm surrounded by monsters. It's like I know I'm in danger and I can't do anything about it, I can't even move." She sighs again. "Sometimes I know there's someone with me. I can feel them moving and hear them crying, but I know they can't do anything about the monsters either. Whoever it is, is just as scared and alone as I am and I can't do anything about it. That's the worst part, it's all about being helpless." She drops into silence and I hold my breath.

This is almost familiar. Something about her dream sounds too much like fears I've had myself. "Tifa, a single nightmare shouldn't do what it did to you last night."

"I know," she brushes the question off and shifts the phone. "It's because of the insomnia. It doesn't happen that often, but when the insomnia gets real bad then my nightmare kinda comes to life, a waking dream I guess. Barret usually catches the signs before I get that bad and makes me sleep, but he's been gone so much lately. I just don't realize what's happening until it's over."

"That seems a little extreme." I shake my head.

She gives a half laugh. "It's probably because of that time I fell down the stairs and was in a coma."

I choke, "What?"

"You know," she sighs as if this should make perfect sense to me. "the coma. I thought it was before you left. I remember your mom coming to see me in the hospital."

"Fell down the stairs?" I cough out still trying to understand.

"Yeah, right after my mom died I fell down the stairs at my house and hit my head. I was in a coma for almost two weeks. Don't you remember? You stopped using our back yard for a shortcut right after that."

She fell down the stairs... oh God, oh fucking God. I remember her being in the hospital all right, but I damn well know she didn't fall down some fucking stairs. Rage speeds through me and I stifle my breath trying to get a hold of myself. They told her that she fell down some stairs? Really, did her dad really think that would work? Of all the bloody stupid bullshit...

"Cloud?" Her voice comes through a little worried as I clench and unclench my fists. "You alright?"

"Do you remember how it happened?" I demand, harsher and angrier than I've been in a long time.

"No, after the funeral everything is pretty blurry." She answers quickly sounding a little hurt. "Why?"

"Because you didn't fall down the stairs. You fell off the bridge to Mount Nibel." I rage and push down the need to punch something. I'm losing control and I know it.

"What?" She snaps.

"I stopped using your yard as a shortcut because your dad threatened to break my arms if I ever came on his property again." I continue, feeling my control slip even more. "He thought it was my fault, but I'm not the bloody idiot that told you that your mom was waiting for you at the top of the mountain."

"Cloud!" She yells at me through the receiver.

Stop, stop, stop... you need to stop. I tell myself this and take a couple of deep breaths. No more anger, it's over and done with, you can't do anything about it, just let it go. I count to twenty then try to talk to her again.

"I'm sorry."

She's quiet for a moment "You want to tell me what the hell you're talking about?"

I press my lips together and frown. Damn, I've thought about this once or twice since we started hanging out, but I try to keep it blocked off most of the time. It's one of those many many memories that made me furious when I was younger and it still holds sway. I never brought it up because I didn't think it mattered and I never meant to tell her about her dad threatening to break my arms.

"Cloud, this isn't one of your war things, this obviously involves me," she almost growls at me. "You have to tell me."

Alright, I've dug the hole, can't get out of it now. "It was the day of your mom's funeral. Mom went, but she left me at home with Grandpa. When she came home, she caught me smoking some of Grandpa's cigarettes. We got in a fight and I went to my usual hiding spot next to the bridge on the mountain path." I glare at the ground.

"I'd been up there sulking for a while when I heard voices. I hid because I didn't want to deal with anybody, but I saw you coming up the trail with those three boys that used to follow you around. They were really freaked out and kept begging you to go back, but you didn't seem to notice. I don't think you were really seeing anything at that point. You didn't seem to notice anything they were doing.

"Anyway you guys got to the bridge and you wanted to cross. They tried to stop you, but you just kept going. That's when they chickened out and ran back down the path. One of them stayed long enough to grab your hand and beg you to come back. You didn't even turn around, you just pulled your hand away and said something about your mom being at the top of the mountain. "

I stop for a second because I don't really know how to continue. I remember how angry I was at those boys leaving her there. The mountain path was dangerous, but as long as you were town-side of the bridge you were probably safe from the monsters. Across the bridge, however, it was a whole different story. That was where the monsters lived and every kid knew better. It may have been dumb of me to be hiding there by myself, but I wasn't crazy enough to go to the other side.

She's dead silent. Crap, I guess I'm just going to have to bully through this.

"I followed you after they ran away. I couldn't let you cross, not after all those horror stories the older kid's used to tell. You were halfway across the bridge by the time I caught up. Still staring at nothing and just putting one foot in front of the other. I called your name, but you didn't notice so I grabbed your arms and tried to pull you back. You actually looked at me, I mean your eyes focused on me, then you hauled off and punched me in the face. I held on, but you kept fighting. You were still a lot taller than me at... what? Eight, nine?"

"Eight," she whispers, as if she's almost mesmerized.

"Anyway, you had the advantage and you were using it. The bridge started swaying, just a little, but enough to freak me out. I got you down onto the boards with my arm around you're chest, but you just kept kicking and punching. It just made the bridge sway more. Next thing I know I can hear the ropes snapping and I grabbed onto the planks with my free hand, The bridge broke about ten feet behind us and we went down with it. I tried to hold on, but we were upside down and when it hit the wall it yanked you out of my grip and dislocated my shoulder."

There's an sharp intake of breath on her side of the phone and I grit my teeth. I wonder how much of this she's going to believe.

"We didn't fall far, maybe fifteen feet, but it hurt. I was okay other than my shoulder, but you hit your head on a rock and passed out. We landed on a pretty wide ledge and there were paths up the wall, but we were on the wrong side of the ravine and I wasn't going to leave you alone. I figured your friends would get help so I lit a fire with some of the bridge debris for the rescue team. You were kinda drifting in and out of consciousness and you kept talking to your mom. I tried to keep you talking, but the noise and the light was attracting monsters, so when you went silent I didn't wake you up.

"They didn't find us till almost dawn. I kept the fire going and threatened a couple of curious monsters with a stick, but I knew they were all around us. When the rescue team found us they had to bring a helicopter in to get you out of there. Our parents met us at the hospital and they rushed you off to get scanned. They treated my shoulder and we all waited for them to tell us what was wrong with you. When they came back the said that you had a pretty serious concussion and were in a coma. Your dad flew off the handle and said some stuff..." I trail off a little and frown again. I know she really treasures her memories of her dad, but he had a serious problem with me and that day he didn't hold back. "Basically your friends never said a word about going up there with you and he blamed it all on me. He threatened to break my arms if I ever came near you again. Mom took me home and that was that. She visited you, but I was afraid to go back and see your dad, so I didn't." Honestly I didn't see her again for more than a year. It had happened in the summer and I started middle school that year so we just weren't around each other.

There's nothing on her end of the line, nothing but silence. I realize I'm holding my breath. There are three reasons I never talked to her about this. One, she doesn't remember any of what happened. Two, saying that her dad threatened to break my arms doesn't even touch the tip of the iceberg on what he really said. And three, I was nine, taking care of someone who I thought was dying, surrounded by monsters for at least seven hours and absolutely scared shitless. It was definitely the worst memory of my life up till I joined the military.

"You're telling the truth, aren't you..." she finally says. It's more of a statement than a question but there's doubt in her voice.

"I am." A car alarm goes off in the distance and I take a couple of steps away from the building.

She sighs. "I'm not sure I understand. Why would my dad lie about that?"

I grimace and shift the phone to my other ear. "I'm not sure. I... I heard your dad talking about it while we were waiting for your diagnosis. I guess he told you that your mom was waiting at the top of the mountain so that when you died you could go with her to heaven."

"That's ridiculous." Her voice is almost trembling, I have to cover my other ear to hear her as another car alarm starts to blare.

"Tifa, I never liked your dad and he sure as hell never liked me, but he just lost his wife and his only child was in a coma. I don't think he was really capable of being rational."

"I... I don't even know what to say..." she stutters.

"I'm not sure I do either," I admit, more alarms are going off, lots more. I can hear dogs howling in the distance too.

"What the...?" she starts to say, but she's cut off as the cars near me start to blare.

"Tifa?" I yell above the noise and then my feet fall from under me. It's like I suddenly get t slammed into the ground. It takes me a second to realize that it's not just me. The whole world is shaking. Above me power lines are swaying and shaking. All the cars are bouncing on their wheels, shifting from their parking spots and honking like the biggest alarm system I've ever heard. The trash cans up and down the street and jingling and rolling in their chains. A traffic light crashes down in the middle of the street, but I can't even differentiate its crash from the rumbling coming from the ground. I'm in the middle of a bloody earthquake.

I try to get to my feet, but both my legs and the ground feel like jello. There's a creaking from the delivery office walls and my fellow workers are half jumping half falling from the loading dock. I can see Wedge in the doorway pushing everyone else out. Cracks start to form in the walls and before I know it chunks of masonry the size of my head are falling down.

My feet finally find some purchase and I make a crazed lunge for the door. They need to get out NOW. Mako speeds through my blood forcing me to find some kind of half run. The parking garage across the street gives a groan and the nearest corner cracks off sliding into the street. The buildings around us are dropping bricks like rain.

I'm ten feet away when the ceiling above the loading dock breaks and comes crashing down on Wedge's head. He's dead, I already know that. I've seen enough death to know what it looks like, but it doesn't stop me. Without thought or personal concern my hands start tearing at the pile of broken masonry.

There's another lurch that sends me face first into the pile and splits my eyebrow. The deep rumbling that's been in the ground from the second I first lost my footing starts to fade, but I hardly notice it. All that's left is the sound of car alarms and crashing buildings.

"Someone call the emergency hotline!" One of my co-workers shouts.

"They'll be overloaded," Coats shouts, coming up next to me and pulling at the mess. "Start digging, Biggs and Wedge are still in there."

"Wedge is dead," I growl and heave at an I-beam.

Coats sets his mouth into a grim line. "Biggs was further back."

If Wedge had been two steps closer to us he would have been directly under the door and he might still be alive. The frame is still standing but everything around it has been taken down. Two steps: so close, yet so far. How many people have I seen die because they were in the wrong place?

"Strife, Strife!" Coats grabs my arm and yanks me away from the pile. "You have to go get help."

I stare at him blankly and wipe the blood away from my eye. "What?"

"You're bike is going to be the only thing that can get through these streets. We're going to need some heavy lifting equipment to get in there." He shakes my arm again. "We'll get help faster if you go now. All the phone lines are going to be tied."

I look back at the building for a second then turn back to him and nod. It feels wrong to be leaving, but he's right.

My bike is on its side around the corner, but it's intact. There's a dent or two. My spring loaded sheath isn't going to be working anytime soon, but the engine turns over the first time I try it.

Alright, I need to get to the local fire department then bring back help and get Biggs out. Maybe then I can finish my conversation with Tifa. Oh GOD Tifa! Son of a bitch, I was on the phone with her. I need to find her. I need to call her. I reach for my phone, but it's not in my pocket. It's on the sidewalk where I was talking to her back at the office. Fuck!

I'm already seven or eight blocks away I don't have time to go back. There are people in the street and most of them are on the phone. I slow down long enough to hear a man in a suit.

"They're not answering, they put me on hold. The emergency services put me on HOLD!" He displays his phone at the end of an extended arm in rage.

Alright, screw this. I steer towards him and snatch the phone out of his hand. Great, now I'm stealing phones, but this is an extenuating circumstance.

"What the hell are you doing!" He screams, but I'm already gone.

Thank God I have Tifa's number memorized. I punch it in and hold the phone up to my ear. Please answer, please, _please_ be alright. The words become a mantra as I drive through the streets dodging people and cars. It rings, but it just keeps ringing. As soon as the voicemail clicks on I hang up and try again.

Around me scared people loiter in the streets. The devastation is total. Every building and I mean every building is damaged. Most of them aren't even buildings anymore, just piles of rubble with skeletal structures sticking into the sky. The phone goes to the answering machine again and I redial. Come on Teef, just answer the goddamned phone.

I can hear sirens in the distance now. I'm getting closer.

"Hello?"

"Tifa!" I almost drop the phone from relief.

"Cloud!" She sounds about the same. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I yell back over the noise of my engine. "What about you?"

"We're okay, Johnny got us ou,t but he's got a chunk of metal the size of your sword in his leg and the bar is destroyed."

Thank God, I swerve around a car crash and come into sight of the fire house. "I have to go. Try and get him to the hospital. Call this number if you need me."

"Cloud, be careful." And she's gone.

I pocket my stolen phone and stare at the fire house. It's still standing, but only just. It's obvious that the fire truck won't be able to get out. There's several men in uniform ordering people around outside. I bring my bike to a screeching halt and head for the nearest person giving orders.

"I've got a collapsed building with people inside!" I yell at him.

"You and everyone else buddy!" He shouts back. "Give the guy over there the address and we'll do what we can."

I nod and head in the direction he pointed. I know what he means, it doesn't look like anybody is going to get much help anytime soon. I give the address and head back to my bike, but the chief stops me.

"You, you're that motorcycle racer aren't you."

I give him a look. Is he crazy. "Yeah."

"You're bike goes fast right?" He reads my look of consternation and shakes his head. "All the government lines are overloaded and I need to get messages out to our rescue teams."

"I've got friends under a building." I glare at him.

"Listen, run these messages and I'll get there as soon as I can." He glares back.

Right now I can't ask for a better deal. "Give me the addresses and the messages and I'll do it."

I run the messages, what choice do I have? The first place questions me and when they find out the arrangement they hand me a stack of messages of their own. So does the second place, and the third. Next thing I know I'm a delivery boy for the government.

I go on like this for hours, well past dark. I'm exhausted. Let's recap, in the last thirty six hours I have gone to Kalm and back, gotten attacked by a pack of fangs, gone over to Tifa's for her delusions, fought with her, gone to work, told her about the day of her mother's funeral, lived through an earthquake and run messages for the government. Oh, and made breakfast for a six year old. All on maybe four hours of sleep. I may not sleep that much, but nobody can keep up with this schedule. Much more of this and I'm going to drop dead.

Right now I'm standing outside the main branch of the police. Most of it is still standing and there are people gathered outside in a downright mob. They're blocking the doors almost completely. God I hope this is the last message because I can't do anymore.

I shoulder my way through. People object, but I don't care. Inside people are shouting and waving papers. It's almost as packed as it was outside. I grit my teeth and shove my way to the nearest desk with a uniform behind it. The officer is juggling paperwork, arguing with an angry woman, and trying to get the attention of another officer at the same time.

The stolen phone rings in my pocket. The ringer just manages to sound in a slight lull around me and the nearby people, including the officer, glare at me. It's the ringer, some absolutely wretched child's song is blaring from my pocket. I clap my hand down on it and retreat to the nearest wall.

"Hello."

"Cloud!" It's Aerith. "Thank God, I got your number off Tifa. She and Marlene are on their way here now with Johnny. I hope they get here soon, it's starting to get pretty crowded." Her words are rushed and desperate and I can tell she's scared.

"What's wrong?" I interrupt her word flow.

"Oh God, I don't know what we're going to do. I mean the city is leveled."

"Aerith," I snap, she's babbling and she's got to have a reason for calling me.

"We're at the hospital camp." She blurts out, "Zack's hurt."

My body goes ice cold. Not Zack. Anyone but Zack.

"You need to get here, he wants to see you." In the background there's a blood freezing scream that goes on and on. I know it's Zack.

"Aerith!" I shout, but she doesn't say anything.

There's a faint rumbling and things start to move on the desks around me. An aftershock.

Everyone in the building screams and stampedes towards the door. I get pushed along with the rush.

"Aerith!"I shout again. This time I'm holding onto the phone.

The doorway is a mass of people and they're practically crushing each other. There's a creaking and several shelves fall off the walls. The crush gets tighter and I almost can't breathe. Then the rumbling stops. Everyone pauses for what seems like an eternity, but it doesn't start again.

"Aerith," I try again but there's no answer. I look at the screen and it tells me that there's no service. The aftershock must have taken down the cell tower.

Zack is in the hospital and asking for me. I am not wasting any more time.

I march up to the closest officer and ram all the messages into his hands. "Where's the hospital camp?"

"What?" He blinks at me, but I can't wait.

My hand shoots out and grabs him by the collar lifting him off the ground. He may be taller than me but I've got enough adrenalin in my system to throw him through a wall.

"Where is the Hospital Camp?" I demand.

"South," He chokes in my grip. "Forty-fifth and Carson."

My hand releases and I head for the door. The people in front of me part like water. My feet carry me outside and straight to my bike. It fires up and I take off at almost breakneck speeds.

My heart races as I speed west. Zack, God Zack. If he's hurt, if he's dying I don't know what I'll do. He's been the only constant in my life for years. We survived the war, he can't die.

I'm scared, for the first time in years I'm so scared that my brain is refusing to think. Everything I do is on automatic. People, cars, buildings all pass in a blur. It still feels like an eternity has passed by the time I get to the camp.

Several barracks style tents have been set up in a field with ambulances around them. I barely register it. Need to find Zack, have to find Zack.

I race through the first tent, then the second. No Zack. I'm on the way to the third when I hear my name.

"Cloud, Cloud!" Aerith runs up to me. "I'm so glad you..."

"Where is he?" I demand. I don't have time for polite.

She points to a tent further back. " He's at the back but..."

I don't wait for her to finish, have to get to Zack.

"Cloud, wait!" Aerith yells at my retreating back.

I burst through the flaps of the tent and try to block out what it brings back. I was in plenty of places like this during the war. Every time I had an episode and my body shut down I woke up in a place like this. I shake my head and block the memories. This is more important.

My legs carry me through the ward until I recognize a back turned towards me. Tifa's already here. I stomp up to the bed and stop dead in my tracks.

I don't know what I expected, wounds maybe. Blood definitely, possibly a great gaping hole in his chest like I've seen before. The last thing I expect is what I see.

"Hey man," Zack grins and waves at me. He's sitting up in the cot, one leg hanging off the side the other stretched out in front of him encased in a brand new cast. There's not a drop of blood on him. "'Bout time you got here."

"You're okay," I say dumbly still staring.

"I was trying to tell you, he just broke his leg," Aerith comments, out of breath from catching up to me. She walks over to him and he puts an arm around her waist. "Silly boy, trying to rescue me."

"Rescue you?" Tifa raises an eyebrow.

Aerith giggles. "I know, we were in his apartment when the quake happened. It knocked down some cabinets, but we were fine. Once it stopped he just stood up, yelled 'I'll save you Aerith' and dashed to the stairs."

Zack groans and gives her a playful nudge.

"Well, there weren't any stairs. The quake sheared them off right at the stairwell." She continues. "Silly boy fell two stories."

Tifa laughs and Zack rolls his eyes. "You make me sound like some kind of idiot."

"Well maybe you are one," Aerith retorts and pinches his arm. "Didn't anyone ever tell you to look before you leap?"

Both Zack and Tifa laugh at that one. I don't, I'm still staring at him. He's alive, in fact he's barely even hurt. The break won't last long, he'll be up on his feet in no time.

"Cloud, man you okay?" Zack's voice cuts through my shock.

I open my mouth to respond but i can't. There's noting there to come out. They all stare at me and I break.

Without a word I turn on my heel and walk back out the door. I can't be in there right now. Can't watch them talk and laugh.

My feet carry me out past the tents and onto a small hill. My adrenalin is fading again. It's come and gone so many times today and every time it leaves it only gets worse. My body collapses on itself until I'm sitting in the grass.

I thought I'd lost him. I don't know if I could stand that. He's been the only person to stay by me. The only one to care enough to make sure I'm still alive. After Mom died he was the only person left who would care, but he's stuck to me like glue.

Footsteps sound behind me and Tifa makes her way up the hill.

"Hey." She keeps her voice soft, almost like she's afraid she'll scare me off.

I nod in response, but don't say anything. I don't trust myself not to freak out. She doesn't say anything else, just sits next to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. I'm glad, it gives me time to come down from shock and adrenalin.

"They never rebuilt the bridge." She comments after about fifteen minutes.

"Huh?" I look her in the face and frown. Bridge?

"In Nibelheim. They never fixed that bridge."

Oh, God it feels like i told her that story a thousand years ago. Too much has happened since then. "Do you believe me then?"

She shrugs and lays back in the grass. "You don't have a reason to lie about it and it's something my dad would have done."

I stare at her for a second then look back out over the field. "I'm sorry."

She shakes her head. "I loved him, I still do. He was my dad, but when I think about it, I'm not surprised. He had a nasty temper and when Mom died, it killed a part of him." She sighs and stares at the sky. "He definitely wouldn't approve of us hanging out."

I keep my mouth shut. It's not like there's anything for me to say anyways.

"Aerith was afraid you got the wrong idea about what happened to Zack. She said they were setting his leg when she called."

I shake my head. "I did. I thought he was dying."

"That must have been hard." Her hand comes up to rest on my arm just below the elbow.

"I..." My throat closes over the words but I force them out. "I don't know what I would do if Zack died. He's the only person who's there for me."

"I'm here." She almost whispers.

I nod faintly and go silent again.

"Are you okay?"

I shake my head and rub the back of my neck. "It's been a long day."

She laughs a little. "I think everyone thinks that. It's not every day you live through a city-leveling earthquake."

"Not everyone did." I cringe. "Wedge is dead, Biggs too probably."

She sits up and her eyes go soft. "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Her arms go around my neck and she pulls me close. It's definitely a comfort hug, both of us giving and receiving. She's crying silently. I'm not, but I need the comfort all the same. With everything that's happened today I don't think I could make it without some. All I can do is cling to her for my life.

We stay like that for a while. Just letting the tears flow in her case. I don't cry anymore, but I can feel dry hiccuping sobs fighting their way to the surface. I just press my face into her hair and wait.

When her tears fade away she shifts so that she's kneeling in front of me and takes my face in her hands. "I'm here Cloud. I want to be here for you."

I'm trying to think of what to say to her. How to respond to that, but my brain produces nothing.

"I'll always be here." She whispers and kisses me.

I'm not as surprised as I would have thought. Some part of me knows that this is where we've been headed this whole time. That everything that's happened over the last few months was all leading up to this. As if there was no choice in the matter.

Her lips are warm as they press into mine. It's not tonsil hockey, our lips don't part, but it's not a tiny peck either. Instead it's long and sweet, full of grief, but also full of hope. Hope for us and the future.

She breaks off after a moment and stares at me worriedly. What do I tell her? That I'm crazy about her? That I can't do this because I have Mako Poisoning? That no matter how hard I try I'll never be good enough for her? All the problems race through my head arguing to be said, but I don't say anything. I just lean forward and kiss her again.

* * *

**It lives and breathes! I'm back once again and I bring Cloti goodness. Can you believe it?**

**Anyway, here's the chapter. It was bloody hard if you haven't guessed. I've had**** the quake written for at least two months now but it took me this long to figure the rest out. Warning, I've never been in an earthquake. I did research but there's only so far internet videos and personal accounts can take you. **

**Wow guys, thanks for the amazing responses to my hiatus. I think you're all spoiling me, not that that's a bad thing really. So once again, thanks for being amazing readers and sticking with me: Fairheartstrife, mom calling, drbis, lyss222, vLuna, Sacred3, Sad eyed Lady of THe Low Life, silverdigger, goatod, , venom828, Khrisi, Mayonaka no Ame, Toki Mirage, Tiny Cherie, demonegg and Dark-sephiroth2.**

**Plus a huge, like Manhattan sized thanks to my Beta Reader Holy Wolf. She is one awesome lady and when she read this she told me that I shouldn't change anything. Serious ego boost!**

**I think that's about it for me, the next chapter shouldn't be too far away. School doesn't start for another like three weeks so I'll probably have it up soon. **

**Reviews are a serious addiction. I think they're getting worse than my addiction to nicotine. So please feed my addiction, I would like it.**

**Song for this bit - Rubicon - VNV Nation.**

**Until next time,**

**Palo**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

The earthquake broke our world.

The destruction I saw as I delivered those messages echoed all over the city. There wasn't a building in Midgar that wasn't damaged in some way and what the quake left standing the aftershocks took down.

A few buildings made it but not many. The Delivery Office was instant rubble, my apartment building lost the entire north face and the 7th Heaven half collapsed. In less than an hour 3.2 million people were without a home.

We weren't prepared, not here. There are major faults over on the Central Continent, but nobody ever expected the one under Midgar to do anything. We were caught completely off guard.

The city didn't do so bad, realistically speaking. Road damage was so extensive that during the first couple of days, emergency aid from our neighbors was limited to food drops and what ground transport that could handle this amount of road damage. Someone finally wised up and just used ATV's to run the wasteland.

In town things were different. President Domino got it together for once and asked The Shinra Company for help. The Shinra building was one of the few to be relatively unaffected by the earthquake. I guess hi-tech companies are better suited for disasters than the rest of us. The Shinra family themselves hightailed it out to the Healen Lodge faster than you could say 'coward', but most of the higher ups in the company stayed on.

That first day, while we were all running around like chickens with our heads cut off, Shinra was working hard. In 24 hours they had set up temporary living camps, several medic camps and pulled nearly two hundred work crews together.

They accomplished this by recruiting nearly every able bodied person they could find and shoving them at the experts. I got roped into one of the crews pretty much the instant I woke up on the next day at the Hospital Camp. One second I'm checking on Zack and the next I'm helping dig through rubble.

After the third day the aid from Junon and Fort Condor started arriving. It wasn't huge but it helped more than I would have imagined. It was mostly volunteers and food but with that help the work crews could back off a little. Considering we were working almost round the clock it really made a difference.

About then was when some official recognized me from delivering messages and pulled me back to Shinra's base camp. To my surprise I was dragged to the man in charge and he turned out to be Reeve Tuesti.

Reeve unofficially recruited Vincent and I as messengers and scouts. I didn't think much about it at first but the reason he recruited us soon became apparent. Between the quake and the aftershocks the roads were destroyed. Not only are bikes the only way to get through but you need to be a damn good rider to navigate some of the shit we have to.

Reeve forced a Housing camp on the empty land behind Cid's hanger and somehow that's where we all showed up. It's far enough away from town that Cid and Shera got through the quake with a couple scares but no major damage. As soon as Cid found out most of us were at the Hospital Camp he came and got us. Something about needing to keep an eye on his racer but he collected all six of us.

By the time Cid had fetched us Yuffie and Godo were already there. Yuffie had a telephone pole fall on her arm but other than that they were fine. Barret got back into town and found us in a record 36 hours. Pretty soon after that we were joined by Elmyra (Aerith's mom) and Red.

So it's five days after the quake and well before dawn that I sit in the mess tent nursing coffee and waiting for whatever is warm at this hour.

There's not many people in here this early in the morning. Several guys in overalls are debating over a map in one corner. At the back of the tent Tifa and Godo already have the ovens going. Somehow they stood up and took charge of the kitchens less than ten minutes after our first meal here. Volunteers rush around doing all the various kitchen stuff but they all look to my friends for what to do next.

Other than that there are just a few scattered individuals, like me, hanging onto their coffee for dear life. They all have the same desperate empty eyed look about them that I'm coming to recognize as loss.

Every one here has it to a certain degree. Some lost houses, some lost family or friends, some lost both. Every time the work crews pull up another building we find more bodies. It's heart wrenching and difficult to bear, but every time we find a live one it more than makes up for it.

"Hey." Tifa slumps down across the table from me and pushes a bowl across the table.

"Hey." I take a sip of my coffee and grab the bowl. "Oatmeal again?"

She shrugs and gives me a long-suffering look. "Nothing else is ready. Besides what's wrong with my oatmeal?"

I stare at it with a dubious look on my face. "It's oatmeal."

She half laughs, but it sounds like a half-sob. "Well, if you stick around long enough for the ovens to warm up there will be eggs today. We just got a delivery from some of the farms on the plains."

I watch her for a second then shake my head. "I've got work to do."

She sighs and bites her lip, then her hand reaches out and covers mine. "You don't have to work like this Cloud. You can't save the city all by yourself."

I glance away. "I'm not."

She raises an eyebrow, "Right, you just leave before dawn and don't get back until after midnight because you feel like it."

"...There are still people out there that need help."

She frowns but doesn't say anything. Instead her hand pushes on mine until our palms are pressed together and our fingers interlace. I can feel her warmth even through my gloves and her fingers are so tight on mine that her knuckles are white.

I stare at the hands and try to decipher the meaning. We haven't talked about what happened the day of the earthquake. Haven't talked about her kissing me... or me kissing her... or the twenty minutes of making out that followed. Part of it is that we haven't had time or privacy. Even now we're surrounded by people. The other part is that when we do talk it needs to be the right time.

I'm honestly scared to talk to her, for the same reasons I can't figure out what her holding my hand means. Just like that night, I can't figure out if she's doing this because she wants to or because she's desperate for some reminder that the world will keep going.

Fact is that until we talk we're stuck in limbo. We're not dating, not together but we're not just friends either. She does things like this when she can get away with it, holds my hand or gives me sudden desperate hugs when there's no one around to notice, but I just don't know what it means. We're walking a very fine line and only God knows how long we'll be be there.

She understands at least that much, sometimes a situation takes precedence over personal life and if anything counts for that this does.

Across from me she stares down at the table and her hand tightens even more. She's so strong in front of everyone. Even after all this she still gives a smile and a kind word to every person that talks to her, but sometimes I can see through that. It's times like this that I can see how vulnerable she really is.

"You okay?" I ask and give her hand a squeeze.

She bites her lip again in doubt. "I'm alright. It's just..."

She doesn't need to finish the sentence, I know what she means. It's the same problem that we all have. How could this happen, how could we be so unprepared? How can so much change in so short a time?

She shakes her head suddenly and sits up straight. "What's going on out there?"

This time I sigh, "Downtown is getting there, not much left to do. Sixth, Seventh and Eighth are getting the hazard buildings leveled. Reeve's got a bunch of crews searching for trapped people all over the city." I shake my head and pull my hand out of her grasp. "Some of the suburbs haven't gotten much more than one or two visits."

"Still going slow then?" She leans an elbow on the table and frowns again.

"Yeah, there's only so much we can do at one time."

"I should be out there."

I stare at her for a second then shake my head. "You're needed here."

"Sure, all I do here is cook." She shrugs one shoulder and rubs her thumb across my fingers. "I just feel like I could be doing a lot more good out there."

I watch her hand for a moment, maybe she could help more on the crews, but she should be here. I don't think she sees just how much these people need her. She's the one holding this place together. Her strength and compassion is much more valuable to this camp of misfits than it would be out there. "Tifa, you're all that keeps this place going."

She stares for a second then gives a sad half smile. "Thanks."

Silence falls on us and I poke at the oatmeal some more. Maybe I should bring us up now. Just to get it over with, just so I don't have to wonder anymore. "Tifa, I…"

"Morning." Aerith's singsong sounds from just behind me and Tifa and I part like teenagers caught necking. Aerith, thank goodness, pretends not to notice. "So, what are the chances of real food today?"

I start to shovel down the oatmeal and Tifa ducks her head to hide a blush. "We've got eggs soon, and hash browns. After that I'm not sure, depends on what comes through on the aid deliveries."

"Reeve said he was portioning out rice and canned fish today," I volunteer.

"I hope so," Aerith sighs and plunks down next to Tifa, shaking the bench. "Anything is better than those emergency food packs the military hands out."

I smirk and dig back into the oatmeal. That's one of the permanent oaths of many a soldier.

Tifa smiles too. "I think we're done with those, word is that we're getting more and more food."

"Don't bet on it," Cid comes up and thunks me on the shoulder. "Right now it's a fresh fuckin' cause for all the aid providers, once their steam runs down we'll be living on spaghetti-os."

"Blech," Aerith sticks out her tongue and makes a face.

"I dunno," Tifa smiles, "With some vinegar and grape jelly spaghettios can be pretty good."

Now we all stare at her. "WHAT?" Aerith cringes back with a jerk.

"That sounds like the worst damn meal I've ever heard of." Cid twist his lips up and fiddles with his cigarette

"You don't have to look at me like that," Tifa grins. She's having fun with this and I can tell. "It's a good dish, especially when you're broke."

"Right..." Aerith looks away and pantomimes throwing up. "I am never eating that."

"Don't knock the cook girlie," Cid laughs sitting down, "They can do things that'll make your toes curl. You'll eat what we get just like everyone else in this bloody clusterfuck."

Aerith just roll her eyes at him and shakes her head. "I know, a girl can dream of good food though."

"Dream all you bloody want," Cid waves a hand and grins. "It ain't gonna change this hell."

"I wish you wouldn't talk like that Cid." Tifa taps the table and frowns. "We're surviving yes, but people need to have hope. They've got to remember that things can get better."

"Yeah, but that's what you're here for." He smirks unfazed.

I shake my head and put the spoon in my now empty bowl. "I should go."

"Me too," Tifa sighs and grabs the bowl as we both stand up. "Listen, go be a hero, just don't kill yourself doing it." And then she's headed back to the kitchen without a second glance.

"Ya going by Reeve's office?" Cid interrupts my thoughts and pulls a lump of wadded papers out of one cargo pocket. "I've got some paperwork for him."

I eye the lump for a second then take it. Anything on Cid's desk in the warehouse becomes crumpled and coffee-stained within seconds of being placed there. "Yeah, I'll drop them off."

"I'll walk you out." Aerith stands up quickly, bumping the table. I give her a funny look, she seems almost desperate to join me for the walk and I haven't the faintest idea why. Maybe she just needs an excuse not to be left at the table with Cid.

We walk in silence about halfway before she stops and turns to me. "Cloud, could I ask a favor from you? Well two actually, but could I ask them?"

I stop and stare at her in her pink dress with her worried eyes and sigh. "What is it?"

"There's an old abandoned church," She fiddles with one of the many silver bracelets she wears. "In one of the older districts, if you get a chance I think you need to go there."

"Aerith," I sigh. "I'm not exactly the religious type."

She shakes her head. "I know, I just wanna know if it's still standing. It's brought me a lot of peace over the years and I think it might do you some good."

"How old?" I ask. If the place is abandoned and in bad condition then it's probably rubble, just like everything else.

"Very," She grimaces, "It's not in very good repair either."

I rub the back of my neck, thinking for a moment. She must see my indecision because she steps forward and grabs my arm. "Just humor me, alright?"

"Yeah fine, if I'm in the area." I hold back a long suffering sigh. "What's the other thing?"

She drops the hands on my arm and looks away for a moment. "It's Zack."

"What about Zack?"

"He's… He's being different, I don't know…" She shakes her head. "He's angry all the time, not even about anything, just angry. He shouted one of the nurses out of the Med Tent yesterday and called me an interfering busybody then sulked the rest of the day."

The corners of my mouth twitch and I have to hold in a laugh. This must be difficult for her so I shouldn't laugh at it, but it's so like Zack. He's been confined to the Med Tent ever since the quake and they still haven't let him leave. The Doctors here aren't used to Mako Soldiers and are convinced that he must have hurt himself worse than he thinks, they don't get that even if he was hurt worse he should be fine now. Supplies are too low to truly get him checked out so he has to stay there, and Aerith's been staying with him all day, every day to make sure he's fine. So now cheerful Zack is stuck in one place with the world around him needing a hero, being babied by his girlfriend and he can't get out.

"Look, Aerith, Zack's…" I grimace, this is going to sound so cheesy but I can't think of a better way to put it. "Well, Zack's a man of action. The world just crashed and burned around him and there's dozens of people who won't let him go out and help. He's got this thing about being a hero and here's the perfect opportunity, but he's stuck in a field hospital and they won't let him leave."

"But he's hurt," she wails.

I shake my head and throw my hands up in the air. "He broke his leg, big deal. I've done it before myself. It happens, but it doesn't make you an invalid."

"He fell two stories onto broken concrete!" She protests again, her hands becoming fists. "That should have done so much damage."

"And we're Mako Soldiers!" I raise my voice and cut her off. "You of all people should know what that does!"

She shuts her mouth and glances away.

I take a breath. "Listen, I know you're worried about him, I know you just want to take care of him, but he's a big boy. He's been in hospitals before and babying him is only going to make it worse."

She bites her lip indecisively and twists her hands together. "What should I do?"

"Convince the doctors to let him out of the tent, even if it's in a wheel chair. Find him a job to do, nothing complicated just something he can work on and leave him alone." I forestall her objection with a raised hand . "He just needs to feel like he can take care of himself again. I'll stop by when I get back tonight and talk to him, but back off. The last thing he needs is someone hovering over him."

"I'm just worried about him." She blinks tears out of her eyes. "After all that's happened…"

"I know." I give her arm a squeeze. "He'll be fine."

"I guess so..." She smiles sadly, "I just wish there was something I could do."

I grimace, "Don't we all. Just, don't worry so much."

She shakes herself and wipes tears out of her eyes. "I'll try."

"So where's this church?"

She spouts the street then we part ways and I head for Reeve's.

-#-

Several hours later I pull my bike to a stop, sigh in frustration and pull out a map. I'm not lost, at least not really. I know where I am in the city but I don't know this area. I'm taking notes on the roads, trying to find one clear and unbroken path through this area.

It's an industrial zone on the west side of town. We haven't touched it much yet. Not many people lived around here and there's been no reports of missing persons or mysterious yells from the area. The result is that it's not very high on our list of rescue operations. I've driven past a couple of places that have been worked on but no one is out here today. Unfortunately this area is the quickest way between downtown and the makeshift landing site for the Aid they are flying in so my job for today is to find a route. So far I'm not having much luck.

This place is like a maze. It must have been a town of it's own once, before the city swallowed it. Too many of these roads just dead end or loop back around on themselves. I've been at it for three hours now and every time I seem to get somewhere I run into a brand new problem.

I puzzle over my map for a second, like every other map of the city it's out of date and doesn't cover too many of the smaller roads. Most of this area is the smaller roads so it hardly shows up at all.

I sigh, guess I'm on my own here. Movement catches the corner of my eye and I glance up but there's no one there, but I do notice the street sign.

This is the area Aerith's church is in. I debate for a moment, but oh what the hell, it's time for a break anyway. I put away the map and make my way to the address she gave me. On second thought I don't even need the address, the place sticks out like a sore thumb.

The area is Industrial, both sides of the street boast large warehouses and small brick office buildings. And there right at the end of the street is a giant Gothic stonework church. It doesn't fit. I mean the church looks run down and a little grimy, I can even see that about half the roof is missing but that still doesn't make it work. It's easily the tallest building around and that stonework stands out just as much as the couple of surviving stained glass windows do. Alright it's still standing, that's all she wanted to know. But how much of the damage is the earthquake and how much was here before?

My curiosity gets the better of me and I decide to get her a full report.

I've never been a religious person. Mom went to church when I was growing up but it didn't hold much interest for me. After the war I went once or twice, I know it helped some of the other traumatized Vets, but in my case it didn't.

I push my way through the broken front door and step inside. It's worse in here than it is on the outside. A bunch of broken pews sit against one wall in a jumbled heap. Right where the altar would be all the floor boards have been torn up and a small pool of water has formed. Around it is a small field of yellow and white lilies, really nice ones too. This must be where Aerith get's the one her flower shop was famous for.

I cross the mostly empty floor and stare at the pool. I've always found it hard to believe that there's some great power somewhere over our heads watching over us. It's never made much sense to me. I could pretend for my mom's sake when I was little but even that didn't last long. Once I got to Wutai it was even harder. The things I saw there made it impossible to believe.

Just like every platoon gets one guy that is into conspiracy theories there's always one that's very religious, for us that was Sebastian. He honestly believed that we were in Wutai to do God's work. He was always preaching to us about faith and the Good Word. Most of us brushed him off, a couple argued, but he didn't mind. His faith was always stronger than our scorn.

I always figured that he needed it. You had to have something to cling to over there or you went crazy. It worked for him and it's probably what kept him saner than the rest of us. If it weren't for the mortar that landed in his lap then I have no doubt that he would have done better in the real world than I have.

I never gave it much thought. He was just someone who preached his reason to live but here in the silence of the church I can understand. In this silence his faith makes sense to me. In fact staring into this pool I can almost find that faith myself. Here in a city so recently destroyed I can find comfort. Maybe Aerith was right about this doing me some good.

My silent contemplation is broken by a loud crashing outside followed by running footsteps. I turn and see my bike rocking on it's side just beyond the front door. Damn, Reeve warned me about some looter activity this morning. If they just tried to steal my bike then they're going to regret it.

I bolt out the door and look around desperately. Half a block away someone is running. My legs burst into action and I start chasing them without thought. "Hey, STOP!"

The figure glances over it's shoulder and puts on a burst of speed.

I grit my teeth and run harder. Hell, bastard thought he could steal my bike did he? Not that he would have had any luck. Cid's security system is pretty damn good. Still he had the balls to try so I'm not going to take it easy on him.

We reach the end of the block and turn the corner. He's fast, but I'm gaining on him. Not as much as I should be though, the road is littered with debris and he obviously knows where he's going. He leads me down a couple of streets through an alley and over a foot bridge. I curse under my breath and grit my teeth.

He dodges a couple of cars and dashes towards another alley. I don't bother, I just put my foot on the hood of the first car and launch myself over both of them, landing in the alleyway just behind him. I grab his shoulder intending to shake him good but before I can he whirls around and sobs.

"I'm sorry, I was just trying to put it back."

I freeze in an instant, he's just a kid. Maybe eight or nine, sandy brown hair damp from sweat and blue eyes full of tears. He thrusts his hand out to me and I recognize the phone in it as my stolen one.

"I'm sorry."

I stay frozen in shock for a moment then shake my head and take the proffered phone from his hands. "You were trying to call someone?"

"My parents..." He slumps in my grip and the tears come faster.

Aw hell, I just chased down a kid for stealing phone, that doesn't even work, to try and find his parents. "The phone towers aren't working. Do you live around here?"

He shakes his head miserably. "I was visiting Ruvie."

"Ruvie?"

"My aunt." He wipes at his tears and looks away from me. "She's gone."

I stare for a minute then release his shoulder and crouch down to his height. He's a lost scared kid I can't be bullying him around. "Where did you live?"

"On Seventh. Near the Food Mart."

Not good, 7th was hit pretty hard. The chance that his parents got out alive is pretty slim and he just said his aunt was gone. I don't have to ask what that means.

"Have you been here since the quake?"

He nods miserably, tears and snot still running from his face. I rub the back of my neck awkwardly and try to figure out what to do. I've got a job to do, but I can't just leave him here.

"Listen kid, what's your name?"

"Denzel."

"Alright Denzel, I'm Cloud." I take his arm and make him look at me. "I'm part of the rescue crews. I'm trying to find a way for trucks to get through this district. You help me do that and as soon as I'm done I'll take you to someone who might be able to help you find your parents."

His eyes go wide, "Really?"

"I'm not going to bloody well leave you here." I glare before remembering that I'm talking to a kid. Great, cursing in front of the child, smooth move. "Look, are there any roads around here that aren't all messed up?"

He watches me warily for a second then scrubs his face furiously. "Umm... the one two blocks that way isn't too bad."

"Right, show me the way back to the church and we'll check it out."

-#-

An hour later we head for the Shinra base camp so I can report to Reeve. We finally found a route that will work. It's not fantastic, but it'll do. Denzel was a big help, without him I'm sure it would have taken me twice as long.

He didn't talk much. Just enough to answer my questions. Poor kid, he seems to be pretty traumatized. I can't blame him. At that age I would have felt the same way. He still seems pretty wary of me but I understand. Trauma like the quake has a pretty bad affect on all of us but kids seem to get the worst.

The Shinra base is the only camp actually inside the city. Everything else is pretty far away from actual buildings because of the Aftershocks. Shinra is set up in the big park downtown so they're not in a lot of danger from the buildings but more than most of the camps.

I pull into the makeshift dirt parking lot and sling the kid down from behind me.

"So someone here can find my parents?" He asks, staring at the camp in awe.

I flinch, I guess finding his parents are going to be the theme for the day. "We'll give your name to Reeve but I've got a better source for finding people back at my camp."

"Oh." He shuffles and stares at the ground.

"I just have to drop this off then we'll go," I tell him, waving my map.

"Okay, how long will that take?"

"Depends on how busy Reeve is."

We start through the camp, it's full of people. All of them working at cross purposes too. All the camps have a faintly military aspect that bothers me, but this one has to be the worst. The tents are all military issue and what's left of the military is stationed here so there's guards with weapons standing on the corners.

I pull the kid along to Reeve's tent in the center of camp. There's a line of people out the entrance. This isn't unusual for Reeve. It's pretty often that he's buried in people trying to get answers. I ignore the line and brush through the flaps. If Reeve sees the kid I'll probably get talked to sooner than I would on my own.

Denzel follows me and we take up a position to the side but still in Reeve's line of sight. He continues to argue with the man at his desk for a couple minutes then waves the man off and nods at me.

I step forward and ignore the glares from the people behind me. Denzel hesitates but follows when I wave him forward.

"Taking children with you now?" Reeve raises a puzzled eyebrow at me.

"Denzel this is Reeve," I shake my head and give the kid a nudge. "Denzel is looking for his parents."

"Ahh...right, well... " Sudden understanding crosses Reeves face and he raises his voice. "Cait!"

"Ach, coomin." The accent sounds through the tent walls and after a moment Cait Sith squeezes past the line of people at the entrance. "Aye boss?"

Denzel's jaw drops as he watches the cat on the giant moogle. I have to admit it's a weird sight, I doubt the kid expected anything like this.

"Denzel this is Cait Sith, he's a fortune telling machine." Reeve gives the creature a fond smile. "He'll take you to our register and help you look for your parents."

Cait looks the kid up and down and shakes his head. "Aye laddie, ye eeten t'day?"

Denzel shakes his head mutely and continues to stare.

"Right, wee'll hit tae mess tent too." The cat nods and shuffles over to a corner. "Boss da ye mind if I leave tae great hulkin' booty behin', it'll be faster."

"Go ahead." Reeve waves a noncommittal hand and shuffles some paperwork. "Just don't get stepped on again. I don't have time to fix you right now."

There's a faint popping noise as Cait lifts his cat legs one by one and stands up on the moogle's back. He stretches a couple of times then hops off the moogle and returns the stare Denzel is still giving him. "Whas tae matter kid, ye ne'er seen ah cat 'afore."

"... Not a talking one." The kid shakes his head and averts his eyes from the creature. "Sorry."

"Ach, doon fash yersel aboot it. Les geet ye some food." Cait shrugs and gestures with one paw for Denzel to follow.

Denzel hesitates, but I put a hand on his shoulder and give it a squeeze. "I'll come find you as soon as I'm done."

"Okay," he answers me quietly, but follows Cait out the door.

I shake my head and start pulling out my maps.

"Why didn't you just take him to Johnny?" Reeve asks giving me a frown.

"I will later." I shrug and unfold the section I need. "I wanted to drop these off first."

He shakes his head at me and gives a half laugh. "Right, did you find me a path?"

"I think so, it'll be bad going in a couple of spots, but it should work." We bend over the maps as I start to detail the route Denzel and I found.

Less than twenty minutes later I find Denzel in the mess tent laughing. Cait is pulling a juggling act for him. I join the crowd watching the now little robot jumping around and doing flips while keeping track of six small red balls. I have to say it's pretty impressive. He's switching hands like crazy and every fourth ball gets thrown behind him where his tail slings it back into place.

"See, I ken what I'm doin'." His feline grin pulls even wider. "Ah can even dae et wi knives."

"Really?" Denzel asks amazed.

"Oh yeah, et ain't hard. Anyoone got one?"

Yeah, it's about time to stop this. Balls are fine, knives not so much. "Denzel, Cait." I step forward and put a hand on the table next to Cait. "I'm done, let's get out of here."

"Right now?" Denzel's smile falls.

"Aww, and jus as Ah was gettin' intae et." Cait sags and drops the balls on the table.

I shake my head. "Maybe some other time Cait. You can come perform for the kids at the camp."

"Kids?" Denzel asks his eyes lighting up at the prospect of someone other than grown-ups.

"Yeah, we've got a bunch of orphans." I shrug.

Too late do I realize what I just said. Denzel's face goes white and his hands clench into balls. Shit, I probably shouldn't have mentioned the orphan part.

"Ach, weell, good luck findin' yer parents laddie." Cait fidgets nervously and holds a hand out to Denzel.

"Thanks for juggling for me Cait," Denzel answers quietly and shakes the paw carefully.

"Noo problaem, kid." Cait shrugs and waltzes out the door.

I look down at the now miserable face of the kid and rub the back of my neck. "You okay?"

He shakes his head and wipes his eyes. "My parents weren't on the list."

Damn, his voice is shaking, I'm not good with kids. I stare at the fluffy brown hair, which is all I can see at the moment and sigh, this is more complicated than I know how to handle. "Hey," I speak softly and squat down to his level. "There's a friend of mine who's collecting names. Johnny's got a pretty big list. If anyone's seen your parents he'll know."

The kid sniffs a couple of times but nods his head and looks up at me. "Alright."

"Come on," I stand back up and pat his shoulder. "Let's go see him."

He gives a faint nod and we head back to my bike. I need to get him to Tifa and Johnny soon, they will know what to do. Fact is there's a pretty good chance his parents are dead, too many people died in the quake and where he lived was practically leveled. I don't know how to deal with that, I can't lie and give him false hope but I can't outright tell him that either. Hopefully their names are on Johnny's list, and if not then Tifa will be there for him. She can handle that, I can't.

We make pretty good time back to the camp and by the time I pull my bike to a stop he's not on the verge of crying anymore. I hurriedly help him off and take him directly to the Med tent.

"Hey Johnny," I wave.

"Hey Pretty Boy." Johnny smiles and shuffles several scraps of paper. "Who's the munchkin?"

I roll my eyes at the nickname and wave Denzel over from his nervous post just outside the tent flap. "Johnny this is Denzel, Denzel, Johnny."

"Hey kiddo," He smiles at the kid. "Are you new here?"

Denzel hesitates, shifting his eyes to me. I put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I just brought him in, he's been separated from his parents."

"Ahh…" Johnny's eyes go wide and he nods. "Alright, look kid I've got a list from every day since the earthquake. I've got names, ages and addresses. Chances are you're on the missing list yourself. So tell me your parents names and we'll start looking, but I'll need some help." He holds up a stack of papers three inches thick.

Denzel gives me another hesitant look. "It's alright…" I start to reassure him.

"You want me to relax?" There's a shout and crash from the other side of the tent and a nurse scrambles out from behind a partition. "Then get me the hell out of here!"

Zack's voice, I glance at Johnny, he rolls his eyes, but ignores the outburst. Denzel stares up at me and I run a hand over my face. "He been like this all day?"

"Oh, yeah." Johnny shakes his head. "He's being a worse queen than I am."

"What's a queen?" Denzel asks, speaking for the first time since we left Reeve's.

I stare up at the celling, cursing awkward questions, but Johnny just laughs. "Drama queen hon, means someone is making a big deal out of nothing."

"Oh." Denzel goes quiet again.

I look at him for a second then point to Zack's corner. "Hey, I've got to deal with this. You talk to Johnny and I'll be right down there."

"Kay." He whispers.

I leave them as Johnny starts dividing the stacks of paper in two and questioning the kid about his parents. Time to deal with Zack.

The nurse is still trying to talk to him, but she won't go any closer to him. Her hushed words are broken by bursts of 'This is bullshit'.

I round the corner and jerk my thumb back down the tent. "Give us a minute."

She scurries off without a second glance. I cross my arms and face Zack.

He glares at me from the hospital bed with his cast up in a sling, then sneers. "What Corporal, you here to change my bed pan?"

Oh fuck it, he's not rational, so there's no rational way to deal with him. I take two steps forward grab the bars of the bed and unceremoniously dump him on the floor.

He slides off the far side and hits the floor with a thump. "What the fuck, you jacked up son of a bitch!" He struggles to get up cussing.

Instead of answering him I move around the bed and grab his unharmed leg, lifting it off the floor and effectively making him helpless. "Asshole check, Sarge."

He stops struggling and stares at me for a second, then leans back and starts laughing. "You... you, god damn you!"

I snigger a little myself and drop the foot before crouching down next to him.

By the time a nurse rounds the corner in response to the noise we're both on the floor laughing like idiots. She stares, sedatives in hand, for a second, then throws her hands in the air with a muttered 'Idiot's' and walks away.

I bite down the laughter and get up holding a hand out to help Zack up. "Done now?"

He laughs again, but grabs my hand. "Shit, it's been a long time since someone had to pull an Asshole check on me."

I shrug and pull him up. In the military an Asshole check was something that got called when someone was being one. The key is that if you don't know who it was called on then it's probably you who's being the asshole. I get him sitting back on the bed and shake my head. "You haven't needed one in a long time."

He scratches the back of his head, chagrined, but smiles. "Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

I grin back, I can't count how many times he had to do something like this to me in Wutai. "What's the problem?"

He sighs. It's not like I don't already know what's wrong. He's frustrated, there's a national emergency and he's stuck in a place that is much too reminiscent of what we went through and everybody is babying him. I would, and have, felt the same way before, but Zack's a talker so I've got to ask.

"It's freaking stupid," he says, staring at his hands. "I should be helping and I'm stuck here."

I rub the back of my neck and cave. "Alright, I'll see if I can get Gast to stop by and tell them you're good, but stop throwing fits. You're freaking out your girlfriend."

He grimaces. "Yeah, she's been staying away all day."

"I told her to stop babying you." I grin.

He nods. "It's just so boring, you know?"

"Then find something to do," I raise an eyebrow at him, we've had similar conversations before but it's always been me being the Asshole and him talking me out of it. "Johnny's stuck here just like you but he's still doing something."

"Like what?" He scoffs.

I glance down the tent, from here I can just barely see Denzel with his head ducked over some papers and a frown on his face. That might be something, I lower my voice. "We've been collecting a bunch of orphans. Lot's of kids have lost their families and they're all ending up here because of Johnny's lists." I pause for a second still watching the kid then turn away. "You could help with them."

He cranes his head to follow my gaze and takes in the kid. "New one?"

"Yeah," I whisper. "I found him today, he's been wandering around on his own since the quake."

Zack shakes his head sadly and hikes the cast back onto the bed. "Alright, I'll see what I can do."

* * *

**Hey guess who's back? You're surprised right. Anyway summer is looking good as far as updating goes so I'll (hopefully) be around for a while.**

**Before I say anything else my beta, Holy Wolf, bless her soul, warned me that this chapter is a little fillerish. Now I'm not denying it but after a long hard look it's filler that's needed. I'm using it to set up everything that comes next, so bear with me.**

**The usual wonderful amazing thanks to all my reviewers; Sacred 3, beaucoup riant, teddles, mom calling, chipmouskin, ItoshiKetsu, Kotono116, lyss222, Iskra revoir, vLuna, Twinnet, silverdigger, InvisibleBrunette, demon egg, Fast, Adven277, shewolf51, MyNumberXIII, xPhiieebee.-anyannaaki, Tiny Cherie, and Cygnus. Wow, that's a lot of people. I guess that's what I get for not updating for almost a year.**

**Anyway, I hope you're all still around. I love what you guys do for me.**

**Song for this bit - Color Me Once - The Violent Femmes**

**Alright guys, I'm off. Let me know what you think, 'cus reviews make me ignore my boyfriend to write more (he doesn't mind). **

**Palo**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Several days later I dream. I know instantly that it's not real because I've been here before and my heart fills with dread. I'm standing in a dark, wet jungle. Rain is falling and adding about twenty pounds to the gear I'm wearing. Just ahead, over the next hill there's firelight.

"That's not a camp fire." Zack's voice whispers behind me.

I nod, it's much too big to be a camp fire, or even several. Something big is on fire and in this dream, I know what it is. I move forward with Zack, my brain a weird mix of mako induced confidence and absolute dread of knowing what I'll see ahead. Part of me blocks out the cold sweat and terror as I move. Beside me Zack slowly shifts himself and fumbles with the equipment on his back.

We crest the hill and find the hollow that the light is coming from. In the back of my head I want to run away, like I know I should, but the dream won't let me. The hollow is filled with bodies, dozens and dozens of bodies. They're all slashed and chopped, blood mixing with the mud to make gory puddles all around us. In the background a village burns with a hot, almost white, fire.

Some of the corpses are villagers, strangers that all look the same. Some of them aren't villagers, they're soldiers. Next to me Zack throws up, like he always does. There are different ways to react to death, I've always gone numb, he always pukes. That's how it goes. The thing that bothers me is the creepy silence. There's no sound other than the fire and rain, no screaming, no gunfire, no fighting. It's not right, someone should be fighting, someone should be causing trouble and then I remember it's because there is no one left.

There's a groan and Zack dashes for the noise. I can remember going with him, but this time I don't. Instead I stand in the bloody muck and watch the crest of the hollow that leads to the burning village. I know what's about to happen and I will never forget it.

My hands renew their grip on my sword through the clammy sweat that's covering my whole body, a hushed conversation carries on behind me. I can't hear the words but I know what's being said. Smoke stings my eyes and burns in my lungs but I just stand there and wait, and wait and wait. It seems like forever, but in reality it was only a few seconds. Then the figure appears. A black silhouette, long hair stringy with water, black jacket spread out in back drafts from the fire, thin sword poised at it's side. My eyes focus on the shape coming out of the flames and my hands ache from the tight grip on my sword. Even now, knowing that this has already happened, I can't believe it. I don't want to, it should have been impossible.

Behind me Zack screams and launches himself at the figure. I reach out to stop him but my hand is too slow. The shape raises it's sword, poised to attack.

"Cloud!" A desperate whisper sounds in my ear and someone shakes my shoulder. On instinct I slap the hand away and vault off the side of the camp bed, ready to defend.

Scared blue eyes flinch away from me and too late I recognize a light brown head of fluffy hair. Shit, my breath comes out in ragged gasps and my hands start to shake. I'm in one of the camp tents late at night, a dozen sleeping bodies around me don't even stir. Denzel blinks up at me from the side of my bed, his eyes already tearing up. There's a long second of staring while I push down my desire to scream. Then I hurriedly sit down on the bed and reach out for him. "Hey, it's alright."

He sniffs and stares at my shaking hand. "I thought you were having a bad dream."

I grit my teeth and try to stop the adrenalin rushing through me. "Yeah, I was." I swallow and drop the hand to clench it into a fist, willing the absolute terror I feel down. "I'm glad you woke me up."

He glances up at me, but I manage to look away just ahead of him. He doesn't need the full force of my Mako eyes right now. After a few seconds he climbs up next to me and drops his hands into his lap. "I have bad dreams too."

I look down at his bowed head and feel guilty. His parent's weren't on Johnny's list that first night, nor any day after. He broke down of course, what kid wouldn't. Tifa and Johnny did their best, I stood around feeling useless until he cried himself to sleep. Now he spends ever day next to Johnny, working on the lists, with this resigned stubborn attitude that if he just stares long enough then he'll find the names he's looking for.

He sniffs again and I panic. Crap, if he starts crying I don't know what I'm gonna do. I remember how Tifa deals with all the kids, a good hug and a comforting word seem to do it for her. I'm no good with comforting words, or hugs, but I can try.

I hesitantly lay an arm across his shoulders and give him a little squeeze. He seems to accept that and leans into me just a bit.

"Everyone has bad dreams Denzel." I tell him. "It's part of being alive."

He shakes his head a little and fidgets but doesn't move away. "Ruvie used to bring me cookies and milk when I had bad dreams."

I grimace, he talks about Ruvie a lot, more than he does about his parents. I assume it's because it's less painful than talking about his parents, but… "You spent a lot of time with her didn't you."

He shrugs slightly. "She took care of me. Mom and Dad are… were always busy."

I give him another gentle squeeze. Something in his voice tells me that he's angry about his parents being busy. How busy were they, how much time did he really get to spend with them? I can sympathize, all my anger at my dad stems from much the same thing, but then I always had Mom to rely on.

"Tell you what," I retract my arm and stand up. "Let's hit the mess tent. I doubt there's milk and cookies but maybe we can find something."

He gives me a faint smile and stands up too. "Okay."

-1-

The next day, or possibly the same one since I didn't sleep after the dream, I pull up to Reeve's camp early. Well relatively. WIth the exception of the day I found Denzel I don't usually get back to the camp until damn near midnight. Today I've got about three hours until sunset, so it's much earlier than I'm used to. I'm not sure this is a good thing, I'm only early because my job turned out to be nearly impossible.

My task today was to scout out the phone towers, find out how much damage has been done and how we're going to get to them. As it turns out we're not. Not without major clearing work around eight out of the ten big ones. Hell, some of them were on top of buildings that came down. It's going to take a lot of work to get even minimal reception again.

I rub the back of my neck and head for the gates into camp. Reeve's not going to like this news.

"Yo, come on man. Let me in." I recognize Reno's voice before I even round the corner to Reeve's tent. Great, another day of dealing with the suits.

It turns out that Reno and his buddy Rude both work for some private security firm that Reeve's commandeered for now. So they're here every day, along with a couple of co-workers.

I come into sight and groan. Tseng and Elena have taken up post outside of Reeve's figurative door. These are the aforesaid co-workers of Reno's. Tseng is a dark skinned man with long black hair, a straight nose and almost pitch black eyes. I've only met him a few times in the last several days, but it's obvious he's all business and I wouldn't be surprised if he could hold his own against just about anyone. Elena on the other hand is this cutesy little blond with a fashionable haircut and a clumsy almost accidental attitude. I have no clue how or why she works for their security firm, but other than treating her like a rookie, the others seem to respect her. They both wear carbon copies of Reno and Rude's black suits.

"Tseng, lemme in." Reno flips some hair out of his eyes. "I gotta talk to Reeve."

"No," Tseng states poker faced.

"Why the hell not?" Reno gets louder and clenches his fists.

The blond brings her hand up and pretends to inspect her nails. "It's classified Reno."

"Classified!" The redhead explodes. "Talkin' to Reeve is freakin' classified?"

"Yes, it is." Tseng nods slightly.

"That's bullshit, I gotta report." Reno swears and raises a fist to Tseng.

"You can report to me Reno." Tseng ignores the fist.

"What? I've been reportin' to Reeve all week." Reno continues to object as I walk up.

"Oh come on Reno," Elena rolls her eyes and flicks her fingers at him. "You know this is company policy. We report to Tseng and he takes it to the higher ups."

"Aw fer the love-a." Reno pulls a face at them and runs a hand through his hair. "It'd be a fuck of a lot easier fer me to jus' talk to Reeve."

"You have a problem with this." Tseng's eyebrow raises.

"Oh hey," Elena peers around Reno's glaring face and looks at me. "You're that bike rider."

I nod and look to Tseng. "I need to report."

He stares for a second, poker faced as ever, but then the corner of his lips twitch just the slightest and he steps to the side. "Reeve's right inside."

"What the hell!" Reno bursts out as I duck inside the tent flap. "He can just waltz on in but I can't?"

"He has clearance." Elena chirps in a much too satisfied voice and shuts the flap behind me.

Reno's only slightly muffled explicative sounds and Reeve looks up. "Cloud, you're back early."

I hook a chair with my foot, thumping down into it and throw my maps on his desk . "Talking to you is classified now?"

He half laughs and shakes his head. "No, Tseng is just being helpful."

I give a disbelieving snort. So far as I can tell all Tseng and Elena do is stand around looking either intimidating or bored. "Right, and delaying Reno's reports is helpful."

Reeve gives me a faked look of innocence. "I may have mentioned to Tseng that his reports were much more efficient and understandable than Reno's. It wasn't my idea to ban him from my office."

"Yo, seriously man." Reno's raised voice whines from outside.

Reeve and I both grin, that's one nasty sense of humor Tseng has. It's good to know that other people find Reno just as annoying as I do.

Reeve shuffles some papers out of the way and grabs my map. "What do you have for me?"

I rub the back of my neck. "It's not pretty, the major towers are trashed, only 155 and 216 are still standing and semi reachable. Theres a lot of small booster towers that are still up, but without the big receptors I don't think they'll do much."

He groans and leans back in his office chair. "I was afraid of that, we need that reception."

I shrug, I've been living pretty well without my cell phone, the only thing I miss about it is using it as a clock. Without it I don't know what time it is, but that hasn't really been an issue. I head for Reeve's just before dawn and sometime after dark I head back. "You got anything else for me."

Reeve stares down at the desk for a second then shakes his head. "Tseng?" He calls and the man outside the door pokes his head in. "Would you find Vincent for me? I need to talk to him."

Tseng just gives a business like nod and pops back out. I raise an eyebrow at Reeve. "What's going on?"

Reeve eyes me in a calculating way. "I need at least some emergency cell phones up and running as soon as possible. Shinra R&D has some temporary towers we could set up that would fix all the problems but President Shinra is asking a hefty price for even a few weeks of coverage."

I stare at him dumbly for a second. "You work for Shinra."

He grimaces and rubs his face with one hand. "That doesn't mean they're willing to lend me brand new tech, even for this."

We're all overworked, but I think I actually see Reeve as a person for the first time. He's pale and the bags under his eyes look like they'll never go away. I've been getting by with little sleep, mostly because of the Mako, but Reeve is here at his desk whenever I come by, no matter what time it is. I wonder if he's slept at all.

He continues talking while I'm realizing all this. "The city didn't have a whole lot in emergency funds, and with what Shinra is already charging for assistance, that is draining fast. President Domino is trying to negotiate with other cities, but it's not going quickly or well. Most of our economy is tied up in Shinra and they're not willing to make many concessions." He sighs to himself. "There's only so much influence I can use with the company and it's being stretched pretty tight as it is."

Why is he telling me this, I'm just a simple delivery boy who got shanghaied into being his messenger and scout. That position doesn't warrant this kind of information.

There's a few muffled comments from the tent flap and Valentine brushes his way in. "You wanted to see me?" He walks up and ignores the chairs.

Reeve pulls together some papers and taps them on the table. "I need to talk to both of you." Ah, so this is some scout thing, maybe something we both need to work on.

"What do we need to do?" I ask.

There's a long pause, then Reeve shakes himself. "I'm arranging for another race."

I blink dumbly, Valentine actually takes a step back. Wait what? It takes me several seconds to remember that the races exist, much less that Reeve owns them. It all seems like a million years ago.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" I finally choke out. The world fell apart on us and he's talking about races?

"I think we can raise a good amount of money if we move them to Junon and call it a charity event." He responds laying down the papers and looking up at us.

"Raise money?" Valentine raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms.

"As I was telling Cloud," Reeve waves a hand in my direction. "We need funding and loan negotiations aren't going well. There are some very wealthy people who contacted me after the last race."

"Like who?" I ask incredulous, who would want a race as a charity event.

"That ex-wrestler that owns the Golden Saucer, Dio, and a few others. Word is getting out about the combat race and they want to be involved."

Valentine shakes his head. "That would be pointless, we are of more use here."

"Yes and no, things are starting to settle down, there aren't as many things for you two to do that others couldn't handle." Reeve grimaces. "Granted, you two are faster, but if things are ever going to return to normal then I need this funding and I need it soon."

I sigh and rub the back of my neck, by now I know that if Reeve is bringing it up then he's been thinking about it for a while. "Alright, when?"

Some of the tension drains from his face, "Next friday, I'll provide transport for whatever you need."

I nod. "I'll talk to Cid about it."

"Good," He lets out a breath and turns to Valentine. "What about you?"

Valentine shifts slightly and actually frowns. "I am without a sponsor."

"Really?" The news takes Reeve by surprise. "I thought Palmer…"

"He has decided that I am no longer required." Valentine cuts him off.

Reeve's gaze goes from Valentine to me. "You knew about this?"

I just shrug, granted it's pretty screwed up for Palmer to switch racers, but it's not like I can do anything about it.

"Well then," He sighs, "I can offer some sponsorship, but my resources are limited right now."

"My bike needs extensive repairs to be race-worthy." Valentine replies with a sidelong glance to me. I flinch, yeah I know I fucked it up pretty good in the last race. He's gotten it back into working order, but it's not up for races by a long shot.

"Damn," Reeve frowns, "I don't have access to much in terms of parts."

I stare at the ceiling and count to three. Alright, I think I know how to fix this, but it might get me in some deep shit. "You drive a Cerberus 560 right?"

Valentine blinks at me for a second then gives a cautious nod. "Yes, with some modifications."

Reeve narrows his eyes at me. "What are you thinking?"

Damn, well here goes nothing. "Cid might be able to do something," I rub the back of my neck. "He was buying parts that we could mod for extra money, before all this." God, I hope Cid doesn't kill me for offering his help to what I'm sure he considers the competition.

Reeve's eyebrows go up and he taps a finger on the desk. "Yes, I remember him mentioning that."

Valentine glances between the two of us, "Would he be willing?"

I grimace, "I don't know, maybe. He'll probably want something in return though."

Reeve waves a hand like that's a trivial thing. "That's to be expected, but the man is a genius with mechanics."

We drop into silence for a second while Reeve taps his fingers on the desk. Then he leans back and smiles. "I think I know how to deal with this," He turns to Valentine, "So, are you in?"

Valentine hesitates, but just for a second before nodding. "Yes, I am."

"Great." Reeve leans forward again. "Why don't you two take the rest of the day off, I'll talk logistics with Cid…" He stares down at his paperwork his face falling back into the exhausted grimace again. "Soon."

It takes less than five seconds for me to make up my mind. "Why don't you both come back to the camp and talk to Cid now. The sooner you get started the better."

This time I seem to catch them both by surprise, Reeve looks up almost shocked and Valentine gives me a sharp look. I'm surprised myself, I wouldn't normally offer anything of the sort, it's none of my business, but all I can think of is Tifa's repeated suggestions that I need to slow down or I'll drop dead. If that's going to happen to anybody it's Reeve.

Reeve shakes his head. "There's too much to do…"

I shake my head. "Hand it over to Tseng, he can probably manage for a while." Reeve pauses as if he's actually thinking about it, but I can tell he's about to say no. I guess I need to offer something else. "Tifa says we've got meat for tonight and she and Godo are cooking."

That makes him pause even more, he and everyone else here are living off of military cooking, which I can testify is abysmal. You can live off of it sure, but it's always bad.

Reeve frowns down at the paperwork again, then sets his mouth in a line. "Give me half an hour to finish this up and I'll be there."

I smile slightly to myself, I knew offer of real food would do it. "Half an hour, or I'll come get you."

-2-

"Yer fuckin' kiddin' me, right?" Cid glares at me from across his desk. Behind me Reeve laughs a little while Valentine convincingly plays indifference.

I roll my eyes at him. "He's not racing for Palmer anymore."

"So, he's still yer competition, dumb ass." The explosion comes at me complete with flying cigarette.

I sigh and wait for him to light another. "Cid, it's a charity event."

"I don't care if it's a request from the fuckin' President." He thumps the desk with both hands. "I ain't helpin' some jackass just to have ya loose to him."

Reeve lays a hand on my shoulder and steps forward. "Relax Cid, I think Cloud has proven that he can win if he needs to."

"Well I need him to," Cid glares, "I got everythin' riding against that son of a bitch and now there's an ankle biter on the way."

Reeve's eyebrows lift. "Shera's pregnant? Congratulations."

For a second Cid's face shuts down, then he rubs the back of his neck and a shit eating grin crosses his face. "Yeah thanks."

I half smirk to myself, for all Cid's bitching about it when he found out she was pregnant this is a pretty different reaction. Maybe time to think about being a father has changed his view.

"I'm not asking you to do this out of the charity in you're heart Cid." Reeve smiles charmingly at him, like the businessman he is. "I know you don't have any. There will be something in it for you."

"Like what?" Cid narrows his eyes.

Reeve raises his eyebrows like he's already won. "Show me what you can do and we'll discuss terms."

Fifteen minutes later I watch as Cid and Valentine debate over a box of parts and his bike, while Reeve leans back smugly in Cid's chair. Looks like he'll get his racer, but I'm not sure how much Cid'll be able to do. Other than the fact that they're both bikes, my Fenrir and Valentine's Cerberus aren't much alike.

"Fuckin' name brands," Cid grumbles, "If we use this one we'll have to replace the damn intake valve too."

"I believe that the existing one would require a small modification to be functional." Valentine crosses his arms.

"Maybe," Cid shrugs. "Probably not worth that shit though. I don't have time to piss about with this."

They continue to debate, and I cross my arms and lean back against a crate. This isn't going to be easy, Cid might be a genius but it's already obvious that Valentine is pretty particular about what goes into his bike.

Movement catches my eye after a second and I notice Marlene picking her way towards us and giving the two newcomers apprehensive looks. I half smile at her, she's a good kid and between the parade and making breakfast for her she's finally warmed up to me, but new people still scare her. She eventually makes her way over to Cid, and tugs on his pant leg. He bends down and she whispers in his ear before hightailing it out of the hanger.

"Well, this'll all have to wait," He grumbles and stubs out his cigarette. "Godo and the girls say dinner's ready and Shera'll have my fucking hide if I miss dinner again."

I shake my head and push off the crate. "You can always come back after you eat."

"Cloud's right," Reeve smiles and leaves his seat at Cid's desk. "Besides there's no way I'm missing my first real meal in weeks."

By the time we reach the mess tent I realize that the whole crew is here, and I mean the whole crew. Obviously there's the ones who never leave camp: Tifa, Godo, Zack, Aerith, Elmyra, Johnny, Denzel, Yuffie and Marlene. Along with that all of us who leave every day to work are here this time: Barret, Cid, Shera, Red, and I. But that's not everyone, Cait Sith, Reno and Rude came with Reeve, as his bodyguards. And to top it all off Gast, Seto, and Bugenhagen showed up too. Between all of us we're taking up two of the long bench style tables, and even then it's crowded.

I get crammed in the middle between Denzel and Cid.

"Stop stealing all the bread you Turkey!" Yuffie screeches from my left at Reno.

"Try and make me Princess." He sneers back.

Vincent grabs the basket of rolls out of Reno's hands and hands it to the hyperactive teenager. "Here is your bread, now let go of my arm." He glares at her while Johnny at the end in his wheelchair laughs his butt off.

Across from me Tifa gives me a pained smile and mouths 'why are they here?' while pointing at Rude who's already shoveling down food like a machine. I give her a half hearted shrug and hand Denzel a napkin.  
"A'right," Barret roars, making Marlene jump between him and Tifa. "We're still on rations, so don' go takin' more than yer share."

"Put a sock in it big man," Cid grumbles back and stabs at the anonymous meat on his plate.

"Reeve," Shera sighs from the other side. "I know you're very fond of your little robot, but does he have to dance on the table while we're eating."

"Oy, lass, I'm nae dancin', I'm performin' for the wee bairns." Cait Sith does a backflip and bows for her.

"Cait," Reeve gives the little cat a bemused smile, "Get down."

"Here ya go babe," Zack tries to hand Aerith the water pitcher, but Gast, who muscled his way between the two of them intercepts it.

"Dear, are you sure you want to stay here? The hospital camp is much cleaner." He turns to Aerith, deftly cutting Zack out of the conversation.

At the far right end, Elmyra, Godo, and Bugenhagen are discussing cultural differences in meal etiquette while Red and Seto lay on the floor, bowls between their paws.

I take a deep breath and start filling my plate, this is certainly going to be an interesting meal, all I can see right now is chaos. Light banter echoes up and down the table somewhat punctuated by Cid's curses, Yuffie's screeches and Barret's laughing, but pretty soon we're all just digging in. It's pretty simple fare, bread, water, some potatoes with spices, and roast slices of something fatty and delicious, but compared to what we usually get it's amazing.

"Miss Lockheart, Mister Kisagari," Reeve leans back once dinner starts to wind down. "You are masters of your art. I have not had a meal this good in what feels like years."

Godo nods his head graciously and Tifa gives a wry smile. "It's hardly fine dining."

"It doesn't need to be." He smiles once again and pushes his plate towards the center of the table.

"Tifa? " Denzel gives the older woman a tentative smile. "Cait said he'd perform for us kids, can Marlene and I go get them?"

"Sure kiddo," She grins at him. "Just don't drag anyone away from their meal."

"Right," He nods and struggles out of the wedged spot between me and Cid. Marlene quickly follows.

"You're putting on a performance Cait?" Reeve raises an eyebrow at the little cat still sitting on the table near him.

"Oh aye," Cait Sith nods seriously. "I promised the wee laddie when he came to our camp last week."

"Well," Zack smiles and starts to struggle with his crutches. "I hope it's not just for kids, just about everyone could use a good laugh."

Within five minutes the area in front of the mess tent is full of people watching whatever it is that Cait has decided to do for them. That leaves about half of us still sitting at the table: Tifa, Godo, Reeve, Elmyra, Barret, Cid, Shera, Rude, Vincent, and I are what's left. Cait's excited banter floats across the air but I can't really make out the words, but random boughts of laughter make it sound like everyone is enjoying it.

"So," Barret looks away from the crowd and leans both elbows on the table. "Reeve, gimmie' the real story, wha's going on out there."

With a sigh just about everyone gets serious again. I can see Tifa shooting him a glare but she keeps her mouth shut. Most of us really do need to know what's going on, even if it spoils the mood.

Reeve grimaces and taps his fingers on the table. "Not much more than you would know about. Cleanup is progressing but it's slow going, we're negotiating with other governments but who knows what will happen there. I'm hoping this next race will help some but..."

I tune the conversation out while he covers all the stuff we talked about back at his camp. It's hard to listen to the real state of things again, bad enough I have to see it everyday. He's right though, if we can get some kind of charity funding for this race it would help a lot. Of course it would help a lot more if Shinra would just get off it's ass and actually do something, accepting Reeve of course.

"I just don't understand." Shera's voice brings me back to reality, if only because I don't often hear it. "We're one of the richest governments in the world, how is it that we don't have emergency funding for this kind of disaster?"

"Well," Reeve rubs his face, "We're not necessarily rich, the companies are, the standard of living is high, but that doesn't mean we have a huge budget. Road work for the city alone is an insane bill. Not to mention that we're still recovering from the Wutaian War."

For a moment everyone pauses. "Did we really spend that much on the war?" Elmyra's quiet voice asks.  
"Damn straight we did." Cid growls out. "There were more than 2,000 planes shot down over there. Not to mention equipment we lost to raids and ambushes. Right kid?"

As one I swear the whole damn table turns to look at me. I pull in a deep breath try not to growl and shake my head. I don't want to talk about this, but I know the numbers and so should they. "We lost equipment but really I'd say training was the biggest expense, aside from aircraft. About 600,000 troops were deployed and more that half that was KIA or wounded enough for honorable discharge."

Tifa gives me a worried look but I don't meet her eyes while Shera gasps. "That many?"

"Jus' bout." Barret grumbles, thumping the table lightly with his good hand. "And now they's still paying for all kinds of Vets bills. There's some big issues with them Vets and Drugs."

Cid gives a bitter laugh, "Yeah, there was a fucking ton of shit available over there, some guys just couldn't get off the crap when they came back. We've all seen some crazy shit."

"Yeah," Barret agrees then faces me. "What 'bout you Cloud. Zack said you two was 7th Infantry. You musta seen lotsa crap."

I freeze, Zack told him the truth... he told Barret out real division. It doesn't matter who asks I always lie about that. The 7th was over in Wutai the whole war, in fact we were pretty well known for it. Half of the crap that happened over there happened to us. Around me everyone but Godo looks suprised. Reeve raises his eyebrows. "The 7th? They were the ones who were at the palace weren't they?"

"Hell yeah they were." Cid grumbled and fiddled with his pack of cigarettes.

Barret turns back to me, apparently not noticing my jaw clenching and that it feels like the blood has drained from my face. "What battalion was you in man, what company?"

I grab my glass of water and grit my teeth, drinking so I don't have to answer. This is why I hate telling people my real Division, the 7th got a reputation and I don't want to be associated with it.

"Come on man, ya can tell me." He prompts again.

I swear to god my vision goes red."We were in the 'Triple Sevens'." I growl before slamming my empty glass back on the table and standing up abruptly. That shuts him up, in fact it shuts them all up, no one even dares move. Without another word I stalk out of the tent and head out of the camp. I can't be around anybody right now and here that means going to one of the fields that border Cid's warehouse. I let my feet carry me far enough out that I can't hear anything from the camp and drop to the grass laying on my back and trying not to fume.

It's bad enough that they wanted to talk about any of it. The sad part is what I told Barret to shut him up was the truth. The 'Triple Sevens', the lucky unit. Fuck that, luck is relative. Yeah, we were good. Yeah, we turned the tide in more than our fair share of battles. Yeah, we survived odds that no one thought we could, but after what happened in the end it didn't fucking matter. Six of us survived, six out of over a hundred. I don't call that luck.

-3-

About twenty minutes later I hear footsteps approaching. Only two people would dare approach me now, Zack or Tifa. Seeing as Zack's still on crutches then it has to be Tifa.

She hovers for a second then sits down next to me and places something on my chest. I look up long enough to identify a long white cylinder and lighter. I pick up the cigarette and my eyes go wide. "Tifa?"

She half laughs and shakes her head. "Oh please, you've been eyeing Cid's for days now. Just don't make a habit of it."

I lean my head back into the grass and turn the cylinder over in my hands. "You know both Zack and Yuffie would kill us if they found out."

She shrugs, but doesn't answer. Instead we lapse into silence. I continue to turn the cigarette over in my hands. Filter, tobacco, filter, she's right. I have been eyeing Cid's since the earthquake. Not seriously, the PTSD is enough of a deterrent to stop me but that doesn't mean I don't think about it. With all that's happened it's hard to keep myself from them, nothing relieves serious stress like smoking.

"You know," She starts after a second. "I've heard you mention your unit before. You give a different one each time. This is the first time I've believed you though."

I grimace, I didn't think she'd noticed. "It's true."

"So… you served with Sephiroth then." She states.

My brain goes white hot for a second. I sit up abruptly and light the cigarette in one angry movement. Why the hell does everybody always remember him, because he's the supposed hero. Fucking hell.

"I mostly worked with Genesis Rhapsodos and Angeal Hewley." I state blandly, anything to make her forget Sephiroth.

She looks over at me, biting a lip. "Genesis was the one that died at the palace right?"

I nod and take a harsh drag. At least that's all anybody remembers about him. She tolerates my silence for a minute or two then sighs.

"Hey," She reaches out and places one hand over mine. "I know it's not easy, you must have a lot you don't want to talk about but… At some point this has got to change."

I glance up at her, she ducks away from my gaze, but doesn't let go. "I mean… if there's a… if we…" Her cheeks go red and her eyes stay stubbornly fixed to the ground in front of her. Then she takes a deep breath. "If we're going to be…" She doesn't say the word but I know exactly what she means. "Then you've got to let me in on this."

I take another drag on the cigarette and stare at the smoldering tip. Alright, so I've been bitching for months now that I want her to know what happened. Hell, I want her to know everything about me so maybe she can understand. Don't get me wrong, I'm terrified of what she'll do. Like I've said before she may not believe me, or she may decide to hate me for some of the things I've done, but she's right… if we're going to go anywhere she needs to know.

"I'm not asking you to tell me everything at once." She mistakes my silence and hurriedly speaks up. "Just something, a little at a time."

I sigh and flick the ash off my cigarette. "I don't know where to start."

She pauses for a few seconds then shakes her head. "I heard the Triple Sevens were serious elite."

I grimace and nod. "We were."

"How'd you get in?"

I pull smoke into my lungs and release it with a sigh, then shake my head. "I didn't."

"What do you mean?"

There's a long silence while I try to figure out how to explain this to her. There's no easy way to do it. I'll just have to start at the beginning. "When I got to Wutai I was in the 18th Infantry. They just threw me into this company, some experienced, but a bunch of us were rookies. Replacing dead troops I guess." I give a bitter laugh. "We got stationed outside this little town, just a farming village. Not vitally important, but they thought that some weapons trafficking was going through there. That turned out to be true, only it was a hell of a lot more than any of our intelligence suspected. I'd been there for maybe, three days before they attacked. I'd actually met some of the villagers, the kids would come watch our training..." I took a deep breath and tried not to shake. "That day Zack and a couple of others came through, he was in the Sevens and had been in country for, I dunno, eight months. They were on patrol and decided to make an overnight stop with our camp. Maybe having them there made us a good target, maybe we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

I pause for a second, god, this crap is so effin hard to remember. She doesn't say anything but her hand gives my free one a comforting squeeze. "The attack came after dark, we had sentries and defenses, but we weren't heavily fortified or anything, it was a small camp and was only supposed to be temporary. One second I was playing cards with some of the other guys and the next the whole camp was going insane and fire was everywhere... It was the villagers, the ones we'd been talking to for days. They wanted us out. Hell even some of the kids who watched us were charging in with guns."

I hear her suck in a breath but she doesn't say anything. "There's no good way to explain the way you think in an attack. Something comes rushing at you firing a gun and you fire back. It doesn't matter that they're people, or women, or even kids. You react and defend yourself and don't even think twice while you're doing it." My voice drops off for a second, then I shake myself and try to get away from the specifics. "I'm still not sure how I survived, they had us surrounded, we grouped up, tried to retreat, but couldn't. Eventually we made it to the jungle but that was almost worse, they had the advantage there, most of us had never even seen the jungle before that week. They picked us off one by one, separated us, you'd see a light off in one direction and hope it was one of your own but never really be certain, and then shots would be fired and you'd hear a scream the light would go, then come back and you'd never know if it was one of us or if they had just picked up one of our lights. Eventually I was just running and I knew they were after me. Then this hand reached up out of the ground and knocked me down. Zack had found this hollow, mostly concealed in a tree trunk. He dragged me in there and we hid. Let the search parties pass us in the dark. Seemed like days, but... Eventually we left, looked for signs of other survivors but couldn't find any. We spent three days slogging through the jungle, just the two of us, until we reached his camp. Once we got there he put in a good word for me and the sevens inducted me just to fill space. I found out later that a few others survived that attack but not many."

She's quiet for a long moment then she gives me another squeeze and leans her head on my shoulder. I take the last drag and stub out the cigarette, staring out over the field. It actually feels a little better to have told her some of this. I mean I'm upset and pissed off even to be thinking about any of these things but I always am when it comes to the war. So while all that is still there and enough to make me grit my teeth there's something else that's released just a little bit. Like a weight lessened.

"Thank you," Her voice sounds so quiet that I almost miss it.

I snap back to reality and look down at her. "Yeah." My voice comes out gravely and strained but not angry, so I guess it's an improvement.

She takes a deep breath, "Cloud, I want to try. I know you have a lot of secrets," That makes me flinch. "and there's a lot that you don't want to remember, but I still want to try. I just need to know that you want to too."

I stare at her for a second longer, then wrap one arm around her shoulders. "Yeah, I do."

* * *

**The dead walk, can you believe it? I know it's been a long ass time since I was last around, but basically the last two years have been pretty shitty in terms of my everyday life. But the whole point is that I actually finished this effing chapter and here it is. **

**It's hard to believe but I feel like this story is actually approaching an end somewhere in the near future after a little over four years that would be nice but as is evident by the last two who knows how much longer it'll take for me to finish. **

**So loves and hugs to my reviewers: cheeriolord, GanonSlayer, jack, Welcome back, vLuna, silverdigger, Taquiner, demonegg, JukedSolid, venom828, Sacred and as always mom calling. I'm sorry I let it go so long guys.**

**Song for this bit - Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes**

**Reviews are warm fuzzy drugs, withdrawl is not fun, thus please supply my drug.**

**Thanks Palo**


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